# The best way to make new friends? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 9, 2002, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-way-to-make-new-friends/135979 "2002-11-09T03:25:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![rostfrei](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7bcc69/32.png) [@rostfrei](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rostfrei)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-way-to-make-new-friends/135979/1 "2002-11-09T03:25:47Z")
I moved to a city on the east coast about a year ago. I left my family and friends for a job. It’s a decision I don’t regret. Since, I’ve been here though, I haven’t made any friends. To tell the truth, my job has kept me occupied and I haven’t really had time to make friends. Now, I am settled into my day to day life and have the ability to be a good friend. I suddenly realized a few days ago that I don’t have any ‘real’ friends here. I do have a few people from work that I am friendly with and my next door neighbor is someone I chat with from time to time, but no real friends. I crave friendship. It’s been a long time since I’ve been in this situation and I’m a bit rusty on the friends-making skills. Any ideas or suggestions on how to make new friends. I can’t very well go up to an interesting looking person on the street and say, “hi, would you be my friend?” I’m 36 years old, if that makes any difference. Also, I’m gay. Past experience has shown that most guys I meet want to be “more” than friends. I don’t want that. I’d love to have “girl” friends…but I’m not ruling out guys. Ideas? Eric Eric ---
**Author:** ![cherry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cherry)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-way-to-make-new-friends/135979/2 "2002-11-09T05:59:47Z")
you could join some clubs/organizations which you have an interest in and meet ppl that way 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Urban\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Urban\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urban_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-way-to-make-new-friends/135979/3 "2002-11-09T09:05:51Z")
You can also become a volunteer. ---
**Author:** ![Urban\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Urban\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urban_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-way-to-make-new-friends/135979/4 "2002-11-09T11:03:00Z")
You can also become a volunteer. ---
**Author:** ![Cataclysm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Cataclysm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cataclysm)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-way-to-make-new-friends/135979/5 "2002-11-09T12:55:46Z")
Is there a bar or somewhere that everyone from work goes to have drinks after hours? If so, maybe you could join them and get to know your workmates better this way, and maybe some friendships could develop from there? ---
**Author:** ![chula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a4c791/32.png) [@chula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chula)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-best-way-to-make-new-friends/135979/6 "2002-11-09T22:06:56Z")
I don’t know what city you’re in, but I had a hell of a time making friends in New York. It’s taken me more than two years to feel like I have a social life, and I’m a friendly, social person. It’s hard to meet people in big cities. I’m sorry I don’t have the secret to meeting new people, but I do suggest that you accept every social invitation that comes your way. Even if your work friends don’t seem like your kind of people (I was in that boat), hang out with them, because you never know what will come of it.