# The Biggest Douche in the Universe **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 16, 2008, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-biggest-douche-in-the-universe/472938 "2008-11-16T01:41:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![jellyblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@jellyblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jellyblue)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2008, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-biggest-douche-in-the-universe/472938/41 "2008-12-10T06:11:30Z")
A douche, as described, is essentially a [narcissistic personality disorder](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder). IMO, when you look it up, there is a picture of Gene Simmons. Even psychotherapists (which I am) almost universally loathe interacting with them. And then they sue you. ---
**Author:** ![Oslo\_Ostragoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a9a28c/32.png) [@Oslo\_Ostragoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oslo_Ostragoth)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2008, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-biggest-douche-in-the-universe/472938/42 "2008-12-10T06:51:45Z")
> [@Unintentionally\_Blank](#): > > Can I submit this guy as a contender? > > [http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/jalopnik/full/~3/DjVDL2DCE\_E/biker-busted-for-speeding-tries-to-fight-the-law-and-guess-who-won](http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/jalopnik/full/~3/DjVDL2DCE_E/biker-busted-for-speeding-tries-to-fight-the-law-and-guess-who-won) Yes you may. What a DB. ---
**Author:** ![BigBertha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d78d45/32.png) [@BigBertha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigBertha)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2008, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-biggest-douche-in-the-universe/472938/43 "2008-12-10T07:50:53Z")
How to choose? My first thought was Sylvia Browne. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2008, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-biggest-douche-in-the-universe/472938/44 "2008-12-10T12:10:14Z")
> [@Oslo\_Ostragoth](#): > > Yes you may. What a DB. I figured he’d get the sympathy vote…what whit him losing the $200 he was gonna party with that weekend. :o ---
**Author:** ![Amber\_in\_Treasury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc79bd/32.png) [@Amber\_in\_Treasury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amber_in_Treasury)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2008, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-biggest-douche-in-the-universe/472938/45 "2008-12-10T12:18:58Z")
Dieter Bohlen. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2008, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-biggest-douche-in-the-universe/472938/46 "2008-12-10T12:32:38Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > In Boston, the Toucher and Rich radio show (104.1) is running brackets for the biggest douche in America. The early results are in the link below. An early favorite is “Mystery” who teaches guys how to dress up in outlandish ways and behave in a way to pick up hot women in bars. After our thread last week on him, he gets my vote. A rapist who teaches other men to rape? Douchery in the nth degree. I got so sickened by his words that I couldn’t post anymore to the thread that _I_ started. ---
**Author:** ![CallMeKate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3d9bf3/32.png) [@CallMeKate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CallMeKate)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2008, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-biggest-douche-in-the-universe/472938/47 "2008-12-10T14:19:31Z")
> [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](#): > > Winner! I was trying to describe this book to my husband and lacked the word power and time to even scrape the surface of douchery. It’s so far beyond that that I can’t even describe it. I can’t belive this guy is still in one piece! There were several times that I just could not go on… And there you go…that statement sold some more books for the guy (or at least got him some library rentals!) Damn it! I won’t lie to you, I recently purchased the book for a friend of mine for christmas (everyone thinks this friend is a HUGE douche bag, I figured a look at Tucker Max would make him feel better about himself, I’m sure it does) well anyhow, as much as I think Tucker Max is the biggest douche bag ever, I do enjoy reading the book and get a good laugh at pretty much everything he writes… I suppose that makes me a slight d-bag as well. ---
**Author:** ![WormTheRed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/bbe5ce/32.png) [@WormTheRed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WormTheRed)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2008, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-biggest-douche-in-the-universe/472938/48 "2008-12-10T14:30:46Z")
> [@Duke](#): > > I’d answer this question but [I have to be at the gym in 26 minutes](http://gawker.com/news/douchebags/nightmare-online-dater-john-fitzgerald-page-is-the-worst-person-in-the-world-309684.php). > > Seriously, this guy wins. If there were other universes, this guy would beat everybody from every other universe too. I assume, you’ve seen his [homepage](http://johnfitzgeraldpage.com) 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2008, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-biggest-douche-in-the-universe/472938/49 "2008-12-10T15:51:20Z")
> [@Unintentionally\_Blank](#): > > Can I submit this guy as a contender? > > [http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/jalopnik/full/~3/DjVDL2DCE\_E/biker-busted-for-speeding-tries-to-fight-the-law-and-guess-who-won](http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/jalopnik/full/~3/DjVDL2DCE_E/biker-busted-for-speeding-tries-to-fight-the-law-and-guess-who-won) It was very difficult to even listen to the guy. And yes, the last few seconds were awesome. Somehow, I think he still managed to party that weekend even without the $200. ---
**Author:** ![Hi\_Neighbor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hi_neighbor/32/494_2.png) [@Hi\_Neighbor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hi_Neighbor)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2008, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-biggest-douche-in-the-universe/472938/50 "2008-12-10T16:13:01Z")
Sports douches: Plaxico Burress Michael Vick John Rocker Dennis Rodman ---
**Author:** ![erleichda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4da419/32.png) [@erleichda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erleichda)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2008, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-biggest-douche-in-the-universe/472938/51 "2008-12-10T16:58:26Z")
> [@Duke](#): > > I’d answer this question but [I have to be at the gym in 26 minutes](http://gawker.com/news/douchebags/nightmare-online-dater-john-fitzgerald-page-is-the-worst-person-in-the-world-309684.php). > > Seriously, this guy wins. If there were other universes, this guy would beat everybody from every other universe too. Hey, don’t be so hard on him. After all, there’s a 78% chance he’ll be mistaken for Johnny Depp! It’s listed on his Skills page! ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2008, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-biggest-douche-in-the-universe/472938/52 "2008-12-10T17:59:29Z")
> [@TWDuke](#): > > **John Edward** McGee pretends to talk to the dead. **John** Reid **Edwards** ran for president. [http://www.johnedward.net/about\_John\_Edward.htm](http://www.johnedward.net/about_John_Edward.htm) Here he is. Why do people buy his spiel. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2008, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-biggest-douche-in-the-universe/472938/53 "2008-12-10T20:38:59Z")
An example from the UK: Derek Ogilvie. AKA ‘The Baby Mind Reader’. See some of his [prime douchebaggery at around 3:40 til about 7:20.](http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=2xGZnRgfTCo) “Who the fuck are these men in my house? She’s swearing at me!” “Well, babies are notoriously foul mouthed. This one just called Derek a prick!” ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2008, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-biggest-douche-in-the-universe/472938/54 "2008-12-10T23:08:09Z")
> [@WormTheRed](#): > > I assume, you’ve seen his [homepage](http://johnfitzgeraldpage.com) 😉 I’d like to see some pictures of him as a “Costumed Character”. ---
**Author:** ![greatshakes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/58956e/32.png) [@greatshakes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/greatshakes)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-biggest-douche-in-the-universe/472938/55 "2008-12-11T05:52:51Z")
> [@MOIDALIZE](#): > > What’s the female equivalent of a douche? Douchette? I spell it OPRAH. Male equivalent: Dr. Phil [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-biggest-douche-in-the-universe/472938.md?page=2)