# The biggest lies. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 23, 2005, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-biggest-lies/313851 "2005-07-23T22:00:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-biggest-lies/313851/1 "2005-07-23T22:00:15Z")
Not necessarily in any order: - The cheque is in the mail - I love you - I promise not to come in your mouth … feel free to add more … ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-biggest-lies/313851/2 "2005-07-23T22:02:14Z")
I’m from the government and I’m here to help you. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-biggest-lies/313851/3 "2005-07-23T22:04:36Z")
- God spoke to me, and now I’ll tell you what God demands that we must do ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-biggest-lies/313851/4 "2005-07-23T22:07:04Z")
From a doctor or dentist: “Now, this won’t hurt a bit.” ---
**Author:** ![Podkayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-biggest-lies/313851/5 "2005-07-23T22:07:24Z")
Computers make my life easier. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-biggest-lies/313851/6 "2005-07-23T22:09:07Z")
New and Improved! ---
**Author:** ![EllaBean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a5b964/32.png) [@EllaBean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EllaBean)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-biggest-lies/313851/7 "2005-07-23T22:11:53Z")
no, honey, I swear you’re not fat! It’s not you. It’s me. I’m fine, really. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-biggest-lies/313851/8 "2005-07-23T22:37:03Z")
I don’t mean to offend but… I’m not racist but… ---
**Author:** ![lorinada](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b5e925/32.png) [@lorinada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorinada)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-biggest-lies/313851/9 "2005-07-23T22:39:46Z")
I swear, this has never happened before. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-biggest-lies/313851/10 "2005-07-23T22:40:57Z")
> [@lorinada](#): > > I swear, this has never happened before. It won’t happen again. ---
**Author:** ![Ashes\_Ashes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-biggest-lies/313851/11 "2005-07-23T22:41:48Z")
One size fits all. Though that one’s going the way of the dodo. From before Rachel let the cat out of the bag: It’s rather common, it happens to every guy and it’s not a big deal. [sup]I can’t believe I know a Friends quote.[/sup] ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-biggest-lies/313851/12 "2005-07-23T23:19:24Z")
> [@Ashes](#): > > From before Rachel let the cat out of the bag: It’s rather common, it happens to every guy and it’s not a big deal. I _knew_ it!!! ---
**Author:** ![Ashes\_Ashes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-biggest-lies/313851/13 "2005-07-23T23:55:24Z")
> [@Susie Derkins](#): > > I _knew_ it!!! Righto Ms. Chanandalar Bong. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2005, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-biggest-lies/313851/14 "2005-07-24T00:19:35Z")
The government can’t do anything right. It’s pointless to try. I’ll love you forever. ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2005, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-biggest-lies/313851/15 "2005-07-24T00:28:47Z")
We care what you think. Boys will be boys. Girls will be girls. Guys don’t make passes at girls who wear glasses. Boys don’t cry. We just went out on a date, we didn’t do anything else. No child left behind. (Especially considering the horror with Kansas schools lately. _hangs head in shame_) ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2005, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-biggest-lies/313851/16 "2005-07-24T00:32:31Z")
Your call is very important to us. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2005, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-biggest-lies/313851/17 "2005-07-24T00:35:16Z")
I’m going to quit. (In response to “What’s wrong?”) Nothing. Must-see TV. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2005, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-biggest-lies/313851/18 "2005-07-24T00:38:17Z")
“That’s a good idea” “I’m sorry, but…” ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2005, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-biggest-lies/313851/19 "2005-07-24T01:08:51Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > I’m from the government and I’m here to help you. And I’m glad to see you! ---
**Author:** ![Yesterdog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/d07c76/32.png) [@Yesterdog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yesterdog)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2005, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-biggest-lies/313851/20 "2005-07-24T01:11:05Z")
I’m no longer infected. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-biggest-lies/313851.md?page=2)