# The birds are after me with their shit bombs and think my car is Tippi Hedren! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 16, 2015, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-birds-are-after-me-with-their-shit-bombs-and-think-my-car-is-tippi-hedren/717840 "2015-04-16T16:11:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2015, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-birds-are-after-me-with-their-shit-bombs-and-think-my-car-is-tippi-hedren/717840/1 "2015-04-16T16:11:43Z")
This is an outrage. For four days straight now, my car has been bombarded with bird shit, heaps of bird shit, while parking in my driveway. Each and every time only on the sides of both front doors, not a speck on the roof! I cleaned up the shit from this morning an hour ago, and brought out the garbage 5 minutes ago, and wham!, fresh shit on the passenger door. What is this, er, shit? What have I done to the birds to be attacked like this? I promise to not have pissed off, scared or chased any birds, in fact I like animals. This in Germany, so it’s spring when all the birds are usually all kinds of crazy. I think there are some tits (hehe, I said tits) nesting in the garden, but what have I or my car done to them to be treated this way? Can anybody explain? ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2015, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-birds-are-after-me-with-their-shit-bombs-and-think-my-car-is-tippi-hedren/717840/2 "2015-04-16T16:39:05Z")
I can’t explain but I read somewhere that putting a rubber snake on the roof of your car will keep birds from flying over your car. I read it on the internet so it must be true. But what do you have to lose other than a few dollars for a rubber snake? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2015, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-birds-are-after-me-with-their-shit-bombs-and-think-my-car-is-tippi-hedren/717840/3 "2015-04-16T16:45:13Z")
The stukas are practicing their dive bombing techniques. ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2015, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-birds-are-after-me-with-their-shit-bombs-and-think-my-car-is-tippi-hedren/717840/4 "2015-04-16T17:34:25Z")
They’re training me to get my laundry in as soon as possible - **purple** birdshit does not remove easy. Insult to injury - they shat on my kettle, on the stove, in the house. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Ecks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bcef8e/32.png) [@Johnny\_Ecks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Ecks)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2015, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-birds-are-after-me-with-their-shit-bombs-and-think-my-car-is-tippi-hedren/717840/5 "2015-04-16T18:03:12Z")
I’ve had this problem. It’s the side mirrors. Robins (at least in my case) would see them self in the mirror and try to chase off the rival. Obsessively. I took to covering the mirrors with bags, which fixed it. They will mellow out on their own as summer gets closer. ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2015, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-birds-are-after-me-with-their-shit-bombs-and-think-my-car-is-tippi-hedren/717840/6 "2015-04-16T18:09:41Z")
Birds being able to shit in flight is a major design flaw and leads me to think that this world was not created by a just God. It must have just happened. Birds, if designed properly, would need to land to shit and scratch their poop into the dirt the same way that dogs and cats do. If there are indeed multiple universes this one change is all I want. Leave everything else alone but make birds pooping in flight impossible. What color is your car? The reason I ask is that my car is blue and if I leave the windows or hatch open in the summer I find the dead bodies of water skippers all over the place. These are the little skimmer bugs that you see on top of ponds. Like this: [https://www4.uwm.edu/fieldstation/naturalhistory/bugoftheweek/waterstrider.cfm](https://www4.uwm.edu/fieldstation/naturalhistory/bugoftheweek/waterstrider.cfm) They actually have wings and can fly and my opinion is that they see my blue car as a small pool of water when they are newly hatched or looking for a new home and head straight for it. It does not happen with my wife’s vehicle which is the color of dirt or sand. Or you may have pissed off a crow. They have long memories and hold a grudge, and tend to be assholes. ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2015, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-birds-are-after-me-with-their-shit-bombs-and-think-my-car-is-tippi-hedren/717840/7 "2015-04-16T18:16:02Z")
My car ist white, and I would never mess with a crow. I know their reputation. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2015, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-birds-are-after-me-with-their-shit-bombs-and-think-my-car-is-tippi-hedren/717840/8 "2015-04-16T18:21:38Z")
> [@Dallas\_Jones](#): > > Birds being able to shit in flight is a major design flaw and leads me to think that this world was not created by a just God. It must have just happened. > > … On the contrary - it’s design brilliance. If cats and dogs could fly, you really thing they would bother landing to bury a turd? If I could fly like a bird, do you think I’d pay 600 bucks a year to be hooked up to the sewer system here? Oh, just don’t wash your car, birds are smart enough to find the ones leaving the car wash when defecating. ---
**Author:** ![doorhinge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a5b964/32.png) [@doorhinge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doorhinge)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2015, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-birds-are-after-me-with-their-shit-bombs-and-think-my-car-is-tippi-hedren/717840/9 "2015-04-16T18:28:30Z")
> [@notfrommensa](#): > > I can’t explain but I read somewhere that putting a rubber snake on the roof of your car will keep birds from flying over your car. > > I read it on the internet so it must be true. > > But what do you have to lose other than a few dollars for a rubber snake? Or an owl. I’ve known several charter boat skippers who have used rubber snakes and owls, mostly coiled rattle snakes, to prevent angry birds from playing angry people. ---
**Author:** ![doorhinge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a5b964/32.png) [@doorhinge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doorhinge)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2015, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-birds-are-after-me-with-their-shit-bombs-and-think-my-car-is-tippi-hedren/717840/10 "2015-04-16T18:35:55Z")
> [@Dallas\_Jones](#): > > …Or you may have pissed off a crow. They have long memories and hold a grudge, and tend to be assholes. I have it on good authority that if you shoot (slingshot, pellet gun, arrow, cruise missile) the first crow, and leave it where it fell, other crows will see the carcass and move on down the road. ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2015, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-birds-are-after-me-with-their-shit-bombs-and-think-my-car-is-tippi-hedren/717840/11 "2015-04-16T21:41:50Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > The stukas are practicing their dive bombing techniques. Don’t mention the war :D. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2015, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-birds-are-after-me-with-their-shit-bombs-and-think-my-car-is-tippi-hedren/717840/12 "2015-04-17T00:03:26Z")
Actually, it was Mel Brooks who got shitbombed. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2015, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-birds-are-after-me-with-their-shit-bombs-and-think-my-car-is-tippi-hedren/717840/13 "2015-04-17T01:02:01Z")
During the mating/nesting season,some birds will attack their reflections in windows (including car windows)–it can go on for a couple of weeks. They also shit a lot right in the general vicinity. That might explain your situation. ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2015, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-birds-are-after-me-with-their-shit-bombs-and-think-my-car-is-tippi-hedren/717840/14 "2015-04-17T18:07:59Z")
> [@Johnny\_Ecks](#): > > I’ve had this problem. It’s the side mirrors. Robins (at least in my case) would see them self in the mirror and try to chase off the rival. Obsessively. I took to covering the mirrors with bags, which fixed it. They will mellow out on their own as summer gets closer. I think you got it. I didn’t catch a bird in the act, but I noticed that the mirrors were kind of dirty and smeared though I’ve been at the carwash the day before yesterday; looks like that’s from bird attacks. Guess I have to put on some socks or whatever on the mirrors. 😉 ETA: and yes, they shat on my car again today. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2015, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-birds-are-after-me-with-their-shit-bombs-and-think-my-car-is-tippi-hedren/717840/15 "2015-04-17T18:11:34Z")
> [@EinsteinsHund](#): > > Don’t mention the war :D. I always wondered what Germans thought of that episode. Looks like you have a sense of humour after all. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2015, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-birds-are-after-me-with-their-shit-bombs-and-think-my-car-is-tippi-hedren/717840/16 "2015-04-17T18:40:56Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > I always wondered what Germans thought of that episode. Looks like you have a sense of humour after all. 😉 Why shouldn’t we laugh about it? The asshole in the skit is British and the Germans are the victims, which isn’t a particularly typical part for Germans in popular culture. And it’s hilarious! And I can confirm that Germans have a sense of humor, but it’s just slightly different from the anglo-saxon variety (though we love us some British humor, sorry, humour. There were even two Monty Python episodes produced by German TV for an exclusive German showing [sup]\*[/sup]). Mostly more restrained, but sometimes just plain silly and absurd. So yes, there’s such a thing as German humor, and the stereotype is, like most stereotypes of that sort, very tired. [sup]\*[/sup]) Here’s the greatest sketch from those episodes, [Bavarian restaurant](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdPMSd7xA7U). John Cleese hardly knew a word of German and learned the part phonetically, but his accent and diction is spot on. He’s just that great. I think the [philosopher’s soccer match](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ur5fGSBsfq8)was also from these episodes. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2015, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-birds-are-after-me-with-their-shit-bombs-and-think-my-car-is-tippi-hedren/717840/17 "2015-04-17T18:48:00Z")
> [@EinsteinsHund](#): > > Why shouldn’t we laugh about it? The asshole in the skit is British and the Germans are the victims, which isn’t a particularly typical part for Germans in popular culture. And it’s hilarious! And I can confirm that Germans have a sense of humor, but it’s just slightly different from the anglo-saxon variety (though we love us some British humor, sorry, humour. There were even two Monty Python episodes produced by German TV for an exclusive German showing [sup]\*[/sup]). Mostly more restrained, but sometimes just plain silly and absurd. So yes, there’s such a thing as German humor, and the stereotype is, like most stereotypes of that sort, very tired. > > [sup]\*[/sup]) Here’s the greatest sketch from those episodes, [Bavarian restaurant](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdPMSd7xA7U). John Cleese hardly knew a word of German and learned the part phonetically, but his accent and diction is spot on. He’s just that great. I think the [philosopher’s soccer match](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ur5fGSBsfq8)was also from these episodes. Thanks. I can’t watch those now, but will later. I have seen the philosopher’s soccer match before, it’s the Greeks vs. the Germans right? It’s completely hilarious! ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2015, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-birds-are-after-me-with-their-shit-bombs-and-think-my-car-is-tippi-hedren/717840/18 "2015-04-17T18:53:13Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > I have seen the philosopher’s soccer match before, it’s the Greeks vs. the Germans right? Yes, including the great German philosopher Franz Beckenbauer :). ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2015, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-birds-are-after-me-with-their-shit-bombs-and-think-my-car-is-tippi-hedren/717840/19 "2015-04-17T22:18:08Z")
A friend at choir last night was just mentioning he has been having the same problem, and covering the mirrors solved it right away. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2015, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-birds-are-after-me-with-their-shit-bombs-and-think-my-car-is-tippi-hedren/717840/20 "2015-04-18T01:46:49Z")
> [@EinsteinsHund](#): > > Why shouldn’t we laugh about it? The asshole in the skit is British and the Germans are the victims, which isn’t a particularly typical part for Germans in popular culture. And it’s hilarious! And I can confirm that Germans have a sense of humor, but it’s just slightly different from the anglo-saxon variety (though we love us some British humor, sorry, humour. There were even two Monty Python episodes produced by German TV for an exclusive German showing [sup]\*[/sup]). Mostly more restrained, but sometimes just plain silly and absurd. So yes, there’s such a thing as German humor, and the stereotype is, like most stereotypes of that sort, very tired. > > [sup]\*[/sup]) Here’s the greatest sketch from those episodes, [Bavarian restaurant](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdPMSd7xA7U). John Cleese hardly knew a word of German and learned the part phonetically, but his accent and diction is spot on. He’s just that great. I think the [philosopher’s soccer match](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ur5fGSBsfq8)was also from these episodes. OK, I know this is a hijack of your bird shit thread, but the Bavarian restaurant was hilarious. It was like discovering an unknown Beatles song or something. Thank you! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-birds-are-after-me-with-their-shit-bombs-and-think-my-car-is-tippi-hedren/717840.md?page=2)