# The BJ Thread: give me some, uh, pointers **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 24, 2006, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bj-thread-give-me-some-uh-pointers/361931 "2006-06-24T00:18:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2006, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bj-thread-give-me-some-uh-pointers/361931/41 "2006-06-27T17:47:02Z")
A “hummer” might also be misunderstood. You don’t have to hum “Fly Me To The Moon,” just make little moans while he’s in there. Your mouth, and his unit, will vibrate and your moans show you’re having a good time. That’s important. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2006, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bj-thread-give-me-some-uh-pointers/361931/42 "2006-06-27T18:16:51Z")
> [@Glassy](#): > > Well, to the best of my knowledge I haven’t met him yet. Do you think that if I wandered around asking men about their blowjob preferences, I might get a date? Well, you’ve gotten one offer so far, and it’s just the first page. ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2006, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bj-thread-give-me-some-uh-pointers/361931/43 "2006-06-27T18:50:02Z")
The thing I _really_ enjoy about my gf’s technique is that she is _really, really_ into the whole thing. That, and she continues going at it until I literally ask her/beg her to stop. Sometimes even not then. Thing BOGO. Also, keep in mind that the absolute worst BJ is miles better than the absolute best root canal.😉 ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2006, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bj-thread-give-me-some-uh-pointers/361931/44 "2006-06-27T19:43:22Z")
> [@vetbridge](#): > > \ Thing BOGO. Definition, please? ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2006, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bj-thread-give-me-some-uh-pointers/361931/45 "2006-06-27T20:01:57Z")
Buy one get one. You know, two for the price of one? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2006, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bj-thread-give-me-some-uh-pointers/361931/46 "2006-06-27T20:03:25Z")
^And, no, she is not charging me. (Although in all honesty, I’d happily pay;)) And I meant “think BOGO”. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2006, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bj-thread-give-me-some-uh-pointers/361931/47 "2006-06-27T20:56:13Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > I’ve found that I can avoid the dislocated jaw issue for a long while by using my hand AND my mouth - circling the base of the penis with my first two (or more) fingers and keep my hand in contact with my mouth as it moves up and down; it sort of “extends” the surface area I can cover without gagging. Keep it wet, though, so it’s not all soft and slippery on top and chafing near the base. This is part of my time-tested technique. In addition to which, I use my other hand to circle the base of his penis with my thumb and forefinger, which holds the skin taut and increases sensation. Definitely make sure you keep it all really wet. Also, I save most of the sucking-and-head-bobbing for the end. I spend the rest of the time I alternate sucking his penis, licking up and down the shaft while I fondle his balls, licking and (gently!) sucking his balls while I use my hands on his penis, swirling my tongue around and flicking it over the head, and anything else I can think of. Using one or two fingers to rub and press his taint (spot about an inch behind his balls) is good, too. Basically, I use my mouth _and_ both hands to get him as worked up as I can, then I start the sucking-and-bobbing in earnest to finish him off. Using a steady rhythm at the end is important. If you can get him turned on enough during the first stage, you won’t have to spend so much time sucking-and-bobbing that your jaw starts to hurt. ---
**Author:** ![malkavia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malkavia/32/5621_2.png) [@malkavia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/malkavia)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2006, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bj-thread-give-me-some-uh-pointers/361931/48 "2006-06-27T22:03:04Z")
God, I love this place. I don’t have much to add, but let me reiterrate what I’ve found to be the key points: 1. Be enthusiastic. You are going to bring him to orgasm. You are probably the sexiest thing in the world to him right now. It truly is a sexy, empowering feeling. I love being looked at and I love someones hands in my hair, barely being able to contain themselves. Really strive to embrace the whole situation, don’t worry about the technicalities so much. 2. Don’t hum the song that never ends. An enthusiastic moan here and there is more likely to garner the response you’re looking for. 3. If you don’t want it, don’t bother. Really, it’s that simple. As much as I love receiving oral sex, if I get the slightest feeling he’s giving it to me from a misplaced sense of obligation, it’s ooovah. I’ll go shower and get myself off if need be, but seriously? Don’t do it unless you get something out of it. Otherwise it’s just unnecessarily awkward. ---
**Author:** ![Sweet\_Mercury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@Sweet\_Mercury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sweet_Mercury)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2006, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bj-thread-give-me-some-uh-pointers/361931/49 "2006-06-27T22:15:32Z")
> [@malkavia](#): > > 1. If you don’t want it, don’t bother. Really, it’s that simple. As much as I love receiving oral sex, if I get the slightest feeling he’s giving it to me from a misplaced sense of obligation, it’s ooovah. I’ll go shower and get myself off if need be, but seriously? Don’t do it unless you get something out of it. Otherwise it’s just unnecessarily awkward. And insulting, above all else. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bj-thread-give-me-some-uh-pointers/361931/50 "2006-06-29T17:57:47Z")
> [@vetbridge](#): > > Buy one get one. You know, two for the price of one? 😉 Ah. Got it. And **TWO** , bravo on the description. ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bj-thread-give-me-some-uh-pointers/361931/51 "2006-06-29T18:22:13Z")
as this seems to be a mostly serious (but not solemn) thread: I’ve never given, and am not really crazy about getting, oral. I have this bugaboo about it being where stuff comes out of during normal bodily functions, and that stuff is not to be ingested. Also I’m Jewish. The last guy I was with, I told him “I don’t do that” and he said “That’s okay, I don’t really like it” Was he just saying that to make me feel more comfortable? Or are there really guys out there who aren’t nuts about BJs (pardon the pun) ---
**Author:** ![samm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/858c86/32.png) [@samm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samm)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bj-thread-give-me-some-uh-pointers/361931/52 "2006-06-29T18:36:31Z")
Yes, urine comes out of the penis and is not be ingested. What does this have to do with oral sex? Vomit comes out of the mouth and should not be (re)ingested. Does that mean no kissing? Also, I don’t understand what being jewish has to do with anything? Do you like having oral sex performed on you? I’m not a guy, so I can’t speak to whether he was just being nice or not. If I had to guess, he could have meant any of the following: A) I’ve never had great head so I don’t really like it. B) I really like your other attributes so no bjs doesn’t bother me. C) I _love_ a good bj but with your inexperience combined with your attitude about it, forget it, because it would just be a waste of time. ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bj-thread-give-me-some-uh-pointers/361931/53 "2006-06-29T18:47:19Z")
:eek: gee, I hope it’s not “c” There’s something in the Bible about not wasting the seed - (ie not fertilizing an egg) - a lot of Jewish gals I know don’t do it. And no, I am not overly fond of receiving; but upon reflection, that could be because the times I have, it wasn’t very good. At the very least I feel it’s something best saved for once I am in a committed monogamous relationship. In the meantime, the other stuff is lots of fun. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bj-thread-give-me-some-uh-pointers/361931/54 "2006-06-29T18:47:49Z")
:eek: gee, I hope it’s not “c” 😃 There’s something in the Bible about not wasting the seed - (ie not fertilizing an egg) - a lot of Jewish gals I know don’t do it. And no, I am not overly fond of receiving; but upon reflection, that could be because the times I have, it wasn’t very good. At the very least I feel it’s something best saved for once I am in a committed monogamous relationship. In the meantime, the other stuff is lots of fun. 😉 (if this is a double post, I apologize) ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bj-thread-give-me-some-uh-pointers/361931/55 "2006-06-29T18:48:02Z")
> [@samm](#): > > Do you like having oral sex performed on you? She already said she doesn’t: > [@](#): > > I’ve never given, and am not really crazy about getting, oral. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bj-thread-give-me-some-uh-pointers/361931/56 "2006-06-29T18:54:01Z")
[QUOTE=fetus] ALWAYS swallow. ALWAYS. It’s really not that bad, I swear. You just have to swallow it like a shot; if you psych yourself out about it and think, “Oh my god, there’s semen in my mouth”, it’ll be impossible. So don’t think about it–just swallow. It’s a hugely important part and for some guys (myself included) almost makes or breaks the deal./QUOTE]I strongly disagree. If you are uncomfortable with the idea, don’t. Do what is comfortable for you; if it is a deal-breaker, so be it. Also, if you try it and decide you don’t like it, don’t let the recipient think that because you did it once you must keep doing it. You don’t like what you are doing, you don’t do it. ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bj-thread-give-me-some-uh-pointers/361931/57 "2006-06-29T19:15:26Z")
> [@anyrose](#): > > The last guy I was with, I told him “I don’t do that” and he said “That’s okay, I don’t really like it” Was he just saying that to make me feel more comfortable? I’d guess he was just saying that to be nice, or he never had one from someone who was any good at it. IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bj-thread-give-me-some-uh-pointers/361931/58 "2006-06-29T21:54:47Z")
> [@anyrose](#): > > I’ve never given, and am not really crazy about getting, oral. I have this bugaboo about it being where stuff comes out of during normal bodily functions, and that stuff is not to be ingested. Also I’m Jewish. Well, it wouldn’t be pleasant to ingest urine, but it’s completely sterile and you could drink gallons of somebody else’s urine all day long with no ill effects. Some people actually feel that it’s healthy for them, and advocate drinking a certain amount per day to cure a variety of ailments. Cecil did an article about it, 'though I can’t be arsed to find it, frankly. Which leaves the taste and smell: You don’t taste or smell urine during oral sex (unless he’s uncircumsized and doesn’t clean his stuff like he should, but since you’re Jewish I assume that’s not a problem you’d run into), and anyway urine can be made completely clear and tasteless by [the urinating party] drinking lots of water if it really bugs you that much. Now to your other point: As I said earlier in the thread, the physical sensations of oral sex–though awesome if the giver knows what they’re doing–are not really the attraction to it, the attraction to it (IMO) is as an expression of each partner’s willingness to do things that please the other for the sake of pleasing their partner, and without any real direct benefit to themself. Most of the time, if you have to convince someone to give you head, the head is terrible, although JMHO again. It is true, though, that some guys really don’t get off on oral sex. I’ve rarely ever orgasmed from oral sex–and I mean really rarely, like twice ever, one due to incredible persistence (and her enthusiasm to finish the job, which I greatly appreciated) and the other a really quick one from a woman who was extremely skilled and had a lot of experience. A small handful of other women have tried and failed, several times each. So I agree with **samm** that he figured either that it wouldn’t work for him because he’d never had good head before, or that it was no use trying if that was your attitude about it. Good that he was cool about it, though. If you’re concerned about Leviticus’ implications on you, then if you’re already dating and having sex (especially if you’re using birth control) then I don’t think giving head will make your lot any worse. > [@D\_Odds](#): > > Also, if you try it and decide you don’t like it, don’t let the recipient think that because you did it once you must keep doing it. You don’t like what you are doing, you don’t do it. Well, yeah, OK, if you really don’t like it don’t do it. But it’s really not that bad. Personally I would do it if I were gay or female, because it’s worth it. But if you don’t feel that way, well, it’s a free country. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bj-thread-give-me-some-uh-pointers/361931/59 "2006-06-29T21:59:29Z")
I should note that that “if” really does mean “if”, and that I don’t assume they’re having sex. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bj-thread-give-me-some-uh-pointers/361931/60 "2006-06-29T22:09:13Z")
> [@anyrose](#): > > \ > > There’s something in the Bible about not wasting the seed - (ie not fertilizing an egg) - a lot of Jewish gals I know don’t do it.\ I don’t mean to be mean, but that’s a pretty silly reason to not engage in oral sex. If you’re only having sex to try to get pregnant, and the man never, ever masturbates, then it might logically follow that the guy shouldn’t get off from a blow job. Otherwise, it’s just logically inconsistent. If you don’t want to give or get oral sex, just don’t. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bj-thread-give-me-some-uh-pointers/361931.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bj-thread-give-me-some-uh-pointers/361931.md?page=4)