# The Body Language of Women. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 22, 2003, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-body-language-of-women/170179 "2003-04-22T00:02:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![pestie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e5b9ba/32.png) [@pestie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pestie)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-body-language-of-women/170179/21 "2003-04-22T18:42:38Z")
Am I the only one who thinks the OP was a joke? ---
**Author:** ![Tamex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Tamex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamex)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-body-language-of-women/170179/22 "2003-04-22T18:47:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by verbenabeast \* > \*\*Dude, if she called all the “Mikes” in the book… well… let’s just say I’d keep a close watch on any small, furry pets around the house… especially… say… rabbits, maybe. \*\* Maybe it’s something like a school directory rather than a big metropolitan phone book. That seems a little less creepy. Didn’t the OP say that they had already planned on going out together to a movie as friends? So…why the big need for her to ask him out on another date before they’ve gone on their first one? It sounds like she wants to get to know him better. (Like, for example, his last name!) She’s probably interested beyond the “just friends” stage, and perhaps she’s trying to find out if the OP might be leaning that way as well. Do men really need a person to blatantly say, “I like you and I would like to get to know you better” (as opposed to, say, smiling and asking questions about his life, family, etc.)? I did ask my husband out (to a play that I needed to see for a class) and he said NO! It wasn’t because he didn’t like me–it was because he had to play Dungeons and Dragons that night. Sometimes, I can’t believe that we ended up getting married. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-body-language-of-women/170179/23 "2003-04-22T19:14:54Z")
> [@](#): > > Do men really need a person to blatantly say, “I like you and I would like to get to know you better” (as opposed to, say, smiling and asking questions about his life, family, etc.)? How about instead of the insulting way you ask that question, we try it this way: > [@](#): > > Doesn’t everyone, male and female alike, deserve to be told, ‘I like you and would like to get to know you better’ (as opposed to, say, having to guess from clues which taken one way may indicate such interest but taken another way may simply be an extrovert’s way of interacting with everyone and have nothing to do with him specifically)? ---
**Author:** ![fauxpas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e480ec/32.png) [@fauxpas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fauxpas)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-body-language-of-women/170179/24 "2003-04-22T23:08:27Z")
well all the mikes with my last name that is…lets see…thats only about 3 or 4 but the thing is, i asked her yesterday why she called. (i said it in a nice way tho) she said because she wanted to get to know me more. Then she asked me what role she played in my life, she told me i played a part in her life. (I asked her if she looked at me like a brother) all she said was, “Giggle, no, i see you like a really close best friend.” I felt very special and she asked if it was okay to call before school and after…im guessing thats a sign…but then again…you know me. ---
**Author:** ![fauxpas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e480ec/32.png) [@fauxpas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fauxpas)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-body-language-of-women/170179/25 "2003-04-22T23:12:45Z")
I just re-read what you wrote KneadToKnow, and I’m thinking of doing that instead of viewing the clues. I also read something about pupils being dilated when you like someone, how do I go about doing this? P.S Amen to that quote, it was well said. ---
**Author:** ![starfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/87869e/32.png) [@starfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/starfish)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-body-language-of-women/170179/26 "2003-04-22T23:57:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by fauxpas \* > \*\*Well the first time, she called all the Mikes in the book. > > she called and asked stuff about me, like what race i am, how old i am, what type of music, movies i like. What instrument do I play? > \*\* It seems strange that she knows your name but does not know what race you are. Is this a prank? ---
**Author:** ![Urban\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Urban\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urban_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-body-language-of-women/170179/27 "2003-04-23T02:29:46Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by KneadToKnow_ > I disagree strongly. Half-way is saying, “I like you and would like to get to know you better.” Not _implying it_. Not _suggesting it_. Saying it. That’s half way. The other person’s half is, “I like you, too. Let’s see what happens.” You sound rather clue free to me. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-body-language-of-women/170179/28 "2003-04-23T03:24:23Z")
You mean if I just kind of hinted around at it that would count as my half? Cool! ---
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-body-language-of-women/170179/29 "2003-04-23T06:00:12Z")
With my girlfriend, I liked her for a few months, but I dodn’t think she liked me as something other than a friend. She gave me a hair cut, we went to a homecoming dance (as friends, is what we told people), she taught me how to kiss, and I still didn’t know if she liked me or not. We were making out on my bed about a week after she taight me how to kiss, when I asked her out. So, yeah, I was pretty clueless. ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 10:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-body-language-of-women/170179/30 "2003-04-23T10:10:21Z")
Ummm…sorry guys, but, if you’re already making out with a girl and you don’t know she likes you, you’re beyond clueless, and well into “dumb as a bag of hammers” territory. No offence, but :smack: And, **KneadToKnow** , if that’s what you got out of therapy, you need to go back. To someone who’s qualified, this time. Hostility is not generally the desired result. ---
**Author:** ![Urban\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Urban\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urban_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-body-language-of-women/170179/31 "2003-04-23T12:13:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AHunter3 \* > You mean if I just kind of hinted around at it that would count as my half? Cool! It of course depends on the hints. If a woman grabs your hand, touches your thigh, or runs her foot up your leg, you pretty much have to be dead to not know what she has in mind. ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-body-language-of-women/170179/32 "2003-04-23T12:31:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Urban Ranger \* > \*\*It of course depends on the hints. If a woman grabs your hand, touches your thigh, or runs her foot up your leg, you pretty much have to be dead to not know what she has in mind. \*\* The more I see of you, the more I like you. 🙂 You are, of course, distinguishing between _grabbing_ the hand and just touching it. Yes? ---
**Author:** ![Jane\_D\_oh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/839c29/32.png) [@Jane\_D\_oh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jane_D_oh)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-body-language-of-women/170179/33 "2003-04-23T13:09:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Urban Ranger \* > \*\*It of course depends on the hints. If a woman grabs your hand, touches your thigh, or runs her foot up your leg, you pretty much have to be dead to not know what she has in mind. \*\* OK, slight hijack here - and a dumb question to boot. But I gotta ask: Soooo… if a guy does the hand and foot thing to a girl, it means the same thing, right? I mean I would think so, but what if that’s all he does? Maybe just a big flirt? Maybe out of the game for a while and just wants to go out on a “safe limb” (for lack of a better term.) ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-body-language-of-women/170179/34 "2003-04-23T13:56:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jane D’oh! \* > **OK, slight hijack here - and a dumb question to boot. But I gotta ask:** _Davebear boots the question…it’s good! The home team wins!_ Well, it was better than the lame computer-related jokes that also came to mind > [@](#): > > \*\*Soooo… if a guy does the hand and foot thing to a girl, it means the same thing, right? I mean I would think so, but what if that’s all he does? Maybe just a big flirt? Maybe out of the game for a while and just wants to go out on a “safe limb” (for lack of a better term.) \*\* Well, IMO, if a guy does the foot thing, he’s either weird or a very naive teenager. Guys are more likely to touch, or stroke, you on the hand, arm, or shoulder. Or, play with your hair. That one’s a dead give-away, if he’s looking at you, and not staring blankly off into space. BTW, if I haven’t said so, before, I love your username. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Jane\_D\_oh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/839c29/32.png) [@Jane\_D\_oh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jane_D_oh)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-body-language-of-women/170179/35 "2003-04-23T14:20:04Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Davebear \* > … Well, IMO, if a guy does the foot thing, he’s either weird or a very naive teenager…_\* :smack: You’re right, I did the foot thing after he did the touching thing. I thought for sure he’d get the message, but, alas, I guess it was not to be. And, **Davebear** my username says it loves you too! ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-body-language-of-women/170179/36 "2003-04-23T14:37:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Davebear \* > And, **KneadToKnow** , if that’s what you got out of therapy, you need to go back. To someone who’s qualified, this time. Hostility is not generally the desired result. I don’t want to misread you, **Davebear** , but if you’re somehow suggesting that I’m hostile towards women, you’re way off base. Don’t confuse being hostile towards a social convention with being hostile towards the practitioners. There are just as many ridiculous games men play that I’m just as short-fused about. What it boils down to is that I’m hostile towards the idea that adults should play games with their hearts. But since we’re on the topic of picking up on hints, you seem to have at your fingertips a much greater-than-average knowledge of my personal life. Should I take this as a sign that you _like me_? If so, I have to tell you that I’m spoken for. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Soup\_du\_jour](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Soup\_du\_jour](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soup_du_jour)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-body-language-of-women/170179/37 "2003-04-23T14:42:01Z")
Am I the only one with the mental image of **Jane D’oh’s Username** running her leg on **Davebear** , while **Davebear** plays with the hair of **Jane D’oh’s Username**? :-p ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-body-language-of-women/170179/38 "2003-04-23T14:50:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KneadToKnow \* > you seem to have at your fingertips a much greater-than-average knowledge of my personal life I whooshed myself on that one, sorry. I forgot that I had mentioned my therapy in an earlier post on this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Jane\_D\_oh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/839c29/32.png) [@Jane\_D\_oh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jane_D_oh)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-body-language-of-women/170179/39 "2003-04-23T15:17:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Soup\_du\_jour \* > \*\*Am I the only one with the mental image of **Jane D’oh’s Username** running her leg on **Davebear** , while **Davebear** plays with the hair of **Jane D’oh’s Username**? > > :-p \*\* 😛 I didn’t until you mentioned it, but now that little movie is running thru my head. ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-body-language-of-women/170179/40 "2003-04-23T18:00:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jane D’oh! \* > \*\*You’re right, I did the foot thing after he did the touching thing. I thought for sure he’d get the message, but, alas, I guess it was not to be. \*\* > Ah! Well, either he wasn’t interested, he was scared and unsure what the next move was, or he was dumb as a brick. My guess would be a combo of B & C, but I wasn’t there, so you make the call. > > \*\*And, **Davebear** my username says it loves you too! \*\* > Awww! I feel all warm and fuzzy, now. Wait a minute! I’m _always_ warm and fuzzy. Dang! > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KneadToKnow \* > **What it boils down to is that I’m hostile towards the idea that adults should play games with their hearts.** > Well, I wasn’t trying to be offensive, **Knead** , and I’m still not, but hostility is hostility. And, it comes across even when you don’t mean for it to. What I was suggesting was that you might do better to try to be more accepting of the situation, because it isn’t going to change. Not in my lifetime, anyway. (I realize my original reply to you was badly worded. I apologize if I gave offence.) > > **Should I take this as a sign that you _like me?_ If so, I have to tell you that I’m spoken for.** > Well, sure I like you, **Knead**. But, can’t we just be friends? 😉 > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Soup\_du\_jour_ > **Am I the only one with the mental image of Jane D’oh’s Username running her leg on Davebear, while Davebear plays with the hair of Jane D’oh’s Username?** > 😃 Not any more! I’d suspect she was just trying to use me for sex, but I don’t have an X in my name. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Jane D’oh!_ > **I didn’t until you mentioned it, but now that little movie is running thru my head.** > Which, of course, leads to the inevitable…“JANE! Stop this crazy thiiiiing!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-body-language-of-women/170179.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-body-language-of-women/170179.md?page=3)