# The Borg won't have to assimilate us... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 13, 2004, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-borg-wont-have-to-assimilate-us/269045 "2004-10-13T18:11:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-borg-wont-have-to-assimilate-us/269045/1 "2004-10-13T18:11:47Z")
We’re already doing it ourselves. I’m talking about cell phones, people. Everywhere I look, someone has their hand to their ear yakkin’ it up loud and proud about their last visit to the proctologist. Teens seem most addicted to the constant contact that cell phones create. Not surprising considering the gregarious nature of teens and the fact that todays kids have “always” had cell phone technology. I think that if there was a way to implant a cell phone-like system into a persons head, a huge number of people would get it done. Then they could beam messges back and forth at the speed of thought. This isn’t as far-fetched as it sounds. Experiments with monkeys have shown that mechanical arms can be accurately and precisely controlled by the brain via implanted sensors in the motor skill areas. As that technology matures, it may be possible to read speech patterns in the communications sectors of the brain and send that out over conventional cell phone networks. I value my privacy too much to ever do this and I’m a misanthrope anyway. But I bet that a lot of people would look forward to such a convienant and intimate communication system. What about you folks? Anybody eager to “Jack in?” ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-borg-wont-have-to-assimilate-us/269045/2 "2004-10-13T18:22:07Z")
I have no problem (yet). There is no guilt in turning my cell phone and pager off. The way I see it, if I want to talk to you, I’ll call you. If you also have your gadgets turned off, no biggy. I don’t want any Borg implants though, especially if you can’t turn them off. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Niceguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mr.Niceguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Niceguy)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-borg-wont-have-to-assimilate-us/269045/3 "2004-10-13T18:33:41Z")
My generation is watching the TV yeah my generation is addicted to fame my generation wants reality or a picture, it looks about the same My generation is talking on the cell phone connected, from coast to coast my generation doesn’t want to be alone as long as we don’t get too close ---
**Author:** ![Earthworm\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f07891/32.png) [@Earthworm\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthworm_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-borg-wont-have-to-assimilate-us/269045/4 "2004-10-13T18:45:22Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > Experiments with monkeys have shown that mechanical arms can be accurately and precisely controlled by the brain via implanted sensors in the motor skill areas. Cite? (Not because I don’t believe you, but because it sounds cool and I want to read more.) ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-borg-wont-have-to-assimilate-us/269045/5 "2004-10-13T18:56:24Z")
[Here you go.](http://www.washingtonpost.com/ac2/wp-dyn/A17434-2003Oct12?language=printer) > [@](#): > > In the new experiments, monkeys with wires running from their brains to a robotic arm were able to use their thoughts to make the arm perform tasks. But before long, the scientists said, they will upgrade the implants so the monkeys can transmit their mental commands to machines wirelessly. ---
**Author:** ![badmana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@badmana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badmana)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-borg-wont-have-to-assimilate-us/269045/6 "2004-10-13T19:13:10Z")
I’m mixed on it. I’m someone who really values their privacy. I have a cell phone (company phone) and I know the limitations on how cells work. I also have the ability to turn it off. An implant might not have that ability. I doubt the government would allow “tech implants” without lots of regulations including all sorts of disclaimers to allow personal tracking (you know, in case terrorists decide to have them or something). If implants were totally free of “black box” type technology, I would consider it. Not a cell phone though, give me a built in HUD with cool tracking features with maybe an intergrated “driver” mode. That’d be really cool. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-borg-wont-have-to-assimilate-us/269045/7 "2004-10-13T19:13:15Z")
Thanks, **Q.E.D.** I was up cites creek without a paddle. One thing that interests me about the whole implanted phone thing is that it is virtual telepathy. You think the words, and they appear in someone else’s head. Man, the illicit uses abound! Taking a test? have your friend in the next room (or country, for that matter) look up the answers and beam them right back. Espionage could certainly become more subtle. We already have creeps using their phones to take and send upskirt shots. Imagine the voyeuristic possibilities built-in cameras. That brings up other potential headaches (hah!) Imagine telemarketers IN YOUR HEAD. What if a guy broke into the software of your phone? A whole new meaning for “hacking into a guys head.” What else might we be able to do? What other problems could this create? ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Sayid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@Jack\_Sayid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Sayid)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-borg-wont-have-to-assimilate-us/269045/8 "2004-10-13T21:57:08Z")
Never in a million years would I use something like that! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-borg-wont-have-to-assimilate-us/269045/9 "2004-10-13T22:38:56Z")
[This Bob the Angry Flower cartoon](http://www.angryflower.com/assimi.gif) is strangely relevant… 🙂 > [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > Imagine telemarketers IN YOUR HEAD. In Neal Stephenson’s _The Diamond Age_ there’s mention of a minor character who went insane and killed himself because spammers put an advertising crawl across the lower right of his visual field… 24 hours a day. Whadda ya do when it’s inside your eyelids? ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2004, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-borg-wont-have-to-assimilate-us/269045/10 "2004-10-14T03:29:02Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > [This Bob the Angry Flower cartoon](http://www.angryflower.com/assimi.gif) is strangely relevant… 🙂 This illustrates the point far better than my muddled attempt. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2004, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-borg-wont-have-to-assimilate-us/269045/11 "2004-10-14T03:53:32Z")
> [@Q.E.D.](#): > > In the new experiments, monkeys with wires running from their brains to a robotic arm were able to use their thoughts to make the arm perform tasks. But before long, the scientists said, they will upgrade the implants so the monkeys can transmit their mental commands to machines wirelessly. “Maybe we should finally tell them the secret - all the chimps we sent into space came back superintelligent.” Monkey in suit and rollerskates: “No, I don’t think we’ll be telling them that.” ---
**Author:** ![pope\_hentai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@pope\_hentai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pope_hentai)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2004, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-borg-wont-have-to-assimilate-us/269045/12 "2004-10-19T05:38:24Z")
i’m not too big on the cellphone thing at all, but finding them more a necessity and may have to give in soon, as there is a serious lack of payphones now… not sure if the payphones are gone due to the cellphones or vice versa… either way it drives me NUTS! ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2004, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-borg-wont-have-to-assimilate-us/269045/13 "2004-10-19T06:14:59Z")
Jack me in baby! As long as I have the ability to turn my implant on and off at my command. I would have no problem with it. Also, while we’re at it; can I order mine with built in GPS features. That way as a man, I would be totally justified in NEVER stoping and asking for directions again… ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2004, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-borg-wont-have-to-assimilate-us/269045/14 "2004-10-19T14:03:39Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > Imagine telemarketers IN YOUR HEAD. And that’s the point at which the violent revolution, Butlerian-Jihad-style, begins. ---
**Author:** ![One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/838e76/32.png) [@One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/One_And_Only_Wanderers)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2004, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-borg-wont-have-to-assimilate-us/269045/15 "2004-10-19T14:10:52Z")
> [@](#): > > originally posted by **QED** > > In the new experiments, monkeys with wires running from their brains to a robotic arm were able to use their thoughts to make the arm perform tasks. But before long, the scientists said, they will upgrade the implants so the monkeys can transmit their mental commands to machines wirelessly. And may I be the first to welcome our new monkey overlords… ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2004, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-borg-wont-have-to-assimilate-us/269045/16 "2004-10-19T14:39:48Z")
In response, all I can say is: 10101010101001111010100010100101101001000101010001010100010110100 10100101001010010010100101100101010000101010010100101101010101010010101001010100010100101000011110010100011001010010100101010010100101010100101000101011011010111010010110011011011110101010101101010101001101010101001010100101010101010010101010111111001001010100 ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2004, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-borg-wont-have-to-assimilate-us/269045/17 "2004-10-19T14:49:41Z")
I’d buy into it in some way. I wouldn’t welcome a cell phone too much…but other information sources that I could draw on on-the-fly (as it were) would be useful. But I’m a guy who bought into Lasik fairly early. If technology can help me I let it. And you think that’s bad…wait until the software can be loaded directly so there’s no hardware required. Just hit your brain directly and off you go. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2004, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-borg-wont-have-to-assimilate-us/269045/18 "2004-10-19T15:04:58Z")
While your proposal for an army of cyborg monkeys is appealing, I have to think that while most of us can’t live without our cell phones, we also enjoy our privacy. I wouldn’t mind a chip that would allow me to download stuff to my brain like Neo learning kung-fu in the matrix, but that does not mean I want the world to be jacked into my own private thoughts. I just can’t believe that there used to be a time not to long ago when we couldn’t just call someone whereever they were. It’s just too convenient, especially when you are trying to get a group of people to meet up somewhere. What did we do in the old days? Phone booths? Savages. In fact, I just can’t imagine why anyone would be against them. You always have the option of not answering a call. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2004, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-borg-wont-have-to-assimilate-us/269045/19 "2004-10-20T13:53:03Z")
I guess part of my clumsily stated point is that it seems like people are actually trying to become more borg-like as technology makes it easier. The amount of contact each person seeks out seems to increase in relation to their ability to get it. Before cell phones, people didn’t seem to need to talk continuously. But now that the entire world is just a flip and dial away, no one can go an hour with seeking the comfort of a phone conversation. It’s like grooming behavior in apes, except with a monthly fee. As much as people (claim to) value their privacy, I think that if the opportunity to jack in and share thoughts arises, people will take it and gladly surrender themselves to the collective. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2004, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-borg-wont-have-to-assimilate-us/269045/20 "2004-10-27T05:28:27Z")
> [@NurseCarmen](#): > > In response, all I can say is: > > 10101010101001111010100010100101101001000101010001010100010110100 > 10100101001010010010100101100101010000101010010100101101010101010010101001010100010100101000011110010100011001010010100101010010100101010100101000101011011010111010010110011011011110101010101101010101001101010101001010100101010101010010101010111111001001010100 Which translates to: > [@](#): > > ª§¨¥¤TTZR””²¡R–ª•\*)CÊ2”©J¥µÒͽUªš©Rª•\_’ According to [this site]]([SitInTheCorner.com is available at DomainMarket.com. Call 888-694-6735](http://www.sitinthecorner.com/binary/binary.php)). What language is that, now? 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-borg-wont-have-to-assimilate-us/269045.md?page=2)