# The boxes of shit they call computers **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 21, 2003, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-boxes-of-shit-they-call-computers/149955 "2003-01-21T07:56:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-boxes-of-shit-they-call-computers/149955/21 "2003-01-21T20:47:14Z")
[Obligatory Onion link](http://www.theonion.com/onion3636/counterpoint_technology.html) ---
**Author:** ![Anaximenes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e99b99/32.png) [@Anaximenes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaximenes)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-boxes-of-shit-they-call-computers/149955/22 "2003-01-21T20:48:15Z")
Yes, computers are boxes of shit. What else would they be? I make my living on the fact that the fucking things are boxes of shit. Sometimes their shit boxness gets to me and I cry “why are all computers and computer software shit?!?” and then I remember… it’s all so that I can have a job. goddamn things… At home I mostly use my Macs. Because they suck less. ---
**Author:** ![Early\_Out](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Early\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Early_Out)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-boxes-of-shit-they-call-computers/149955/23 "2003-01-21T23:38:06Z")
Game show contestant: “This is a bag of shit!!” Host: “Yes, but it’s _great shit_, Mrs. Kressge.” - Firesign Theater ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-boxes-of-shit-they-call-computers/149955/24 "2003-01-21T23:41:15Z")
Please do not be upset. The computer is your friend. If you are still upset, then report to room 101 for treatment. Have a nice day. ---
**Author:** ![Nightsong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nightsong/32/3083_2.png) [@Nightsong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightsong)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-boxes-of-shit-they-call-computers/149955/25 "2003-01-22T03:55:52Z")
Yes, The Computer is your Friend! Are you happy Citizen? Failure to be happy is Treason. * * * \<\< Ultraviolet. \>\> ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-boxes-of-shit-they-call-computers/149955/26 "2003-01-22T03:59:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by white-tigeress \* > \*\*Computers rule!! \*\* Much like Hitler ruled nazi Germany. ---
**Author:** ![TyrC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9de0a6/32.png) [@TyrC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TyrC)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-boxes-of-shit-they-call-computers/149955/27 "2003-01-22T05:48:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by white-tigeress \* > \*\*Computers rule!! \*\* I agree! 1. They let me look at dirty pictures! 2. I click on a few buttons and 30 minutes or so late a pizza is waiting at the front door! 3. I can go to message boards and say all kinds of stupid ass stuff! The computer is your friend! Embrace it! TyrC! ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Blonde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/48db29/32.png) [@Mr\_Blonde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Blonde)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-boxes-of-shit-they-call-computers/149955/28 "2003-01-22T10:45:11Z")
I gave it a nice new sticker today and it’s working better than usual. Although it did take bout 3 attempts to load up this page but I feel that was just pay-back for the insults it has incurred from me. Maybe, next time the office is empty a sly hug might be the order of the day. But then I’d feel unfaithful to my home computer (which is working ok btw). Ahh 1 hug can’t hurt!! Or the possibility of naming it maybe. Make it feel wanted. (Is ‘It’ the right word?) Name suggestions appreciated. ---
**Author:** ![Skeezix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@Skeezix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skeezix)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-boxes-of-shit-they-call-computers/149955/29 "2003-01-22T11:17:20Z")
Name suggestion? For the office computer, eh, let’s see… Ah yes. You Bastard. Works for all occasions, formal or informal. Walk into the office, boot up. “Good morning, You Bastard.” Toddle off on a coffee/cigarette/canole break, and, upon returning, “Okay, I’m back, let’s have no problems, You.” Upon leaving for lunch, “Right, I’ll deal with you later, Bastard.” Twenty minutes or so from punch out, on a Friday afternoon, “Right, don’t give me any lip, You Bastard, or I’ll just unplug you for the weekend.” Of course, the PC may have a middle name, which you can use in combination with its first or last name, such as Little, Electronic, or Fucking, in cases of more uncompliant equipment. And the sex of the machine generally determines its last name, be it Bastard, or Bitch. Most home computers, used in a less formal atmosphere, tend to have last names like Fucker, Shitbox (a popular new family, on the rise of late, as I see) or Goddamned Hellspawn. Good luck interacting with Your Electronic Pal Who’s Fun To Be With. And welcome to the boards, mate. [sub]Now, then, just post this _once_ You Frigging Shitstain, or I shall reprogram your main memory bank straightaway with a large axe, yeah?[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-boxes-of-shit-they-call-computers/149955/30 "2003-01-22T19:08:53Z")
The threat of a low-level format (with an AXE!) is enough to keep my computer in line. ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-boxes-of-shit-they-call-computers/149955/31 "2003-01-22T19:56:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lobsang \* > \*\*Much like Hitler ruled nazi Germany. \*\* I call Godwin’s Law! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-boxes-of-shit-they-call-computers/149955.md?page=1)