# The Brand Spanking New Harvey Keitel Penis Game **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 9, 2000, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316 "2000-10-09T21:34:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2000, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/1 "2000-10-09T21:34:29Z")
Inspired by **Jack Batty** in [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=41573) thread. I’ve decided to start a game. I was going to call it 6 degrees of Keitel’s Penis, then I realised that was too easy. Anyone could do that. So here is how it works. One poster names a person, place, or thing. The next poster, in **THREE STEPS** links it to Harvey Keitel’s penis, and then posts another prson, place, or thing. The next poster goes and links it, then names another object to link. Let’s see how long we can keep this up before we all get sick. ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2000, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/2 "2000-10-09T21:35:46Z")
Well start with an easy one. Milhouse from the simpsons. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2000, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/3 "2000-10-09T21:42:38Z")
Ha! Great mind’s think alike. Millhouse is easy?? ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2000, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/4 "2000-10-09T21:44:08Z")
Umm, his penis? What, exactly, do you mean by that? ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2000, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/5 "2000-10-09T21:45:50Z")
Oh and you have to link to an actual instance of his penis being shown or mentioned. Come on, of course Milhouse is easy. A hard one (pun intended) is Madeline Albright or Kuala Lampur. ---
**Author:** ![Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bottle_of_Smoke)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2000, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/6 "2000-10-09T21:46:02Z")
Sure Milhouse is easy, Jack. Observe: Milhouse is on The Simpsons with Lisa, voiced by Yeardly Smith Yeardly Smith had a bit part in _City Slickers_ with Jack Palance Jack Palance kind of looks like Harvey Keitel’s penis. Easy, no? Next: The late Princess Diana ---
**Author:** ![Spiritus\_Mundi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Spiritus\_Mundi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiritus_Mundi)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2000, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/7 "2000-10-09T21:47:06Z")
Milhouse is Bart’s best friend. Milhouse wears coke-bottle glasses. If Harvey Keitel’s penis wore coke-bottle glasses then it would be Bart’s best friend. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2000, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/8 "2000-10-09T21:47:38Z")
This is so stupid, I’m not even going to dignify it with a post. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2000, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/9 "2000-10-09T21:50:24Z")
Just so long as this thread has nothing to do with “spanking” Harvey Keitel’s penis… ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2000, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/10 "2000-10-09T21:50:51Z")
Alright, I see we’re having some dificulty. I’ll start you guys out until we start getting in the mood. Millhouse contracted a virus from a monkey Keitel played a gypsey with a monkey in monkey trouble. Keitel touched his own monkey in “Bad Lieutenant” therby sparing others from any viruses he may have had. ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2000, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/11 "2000-10-09T21:52:17Z")
Nextup. Batman the TV series… ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2000, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/12 "2000-10-09T21:53:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bottle of Smoke \* > \*\*Jack Palance kind of looks like Harvey Keitel’s penis. > \*\* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. But could do it in 2 steps: Milhouse is on the Simpsons with Mr. Burns. Mr Burns looks like Harvey Keitel’s penis. ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2000, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/13 "2000-10-09T21:54:18Z")
Millhouse kind of sounds like tollhouse. Oldscratch likes to eat tollhouse cookies. Harvey Keitel’s penis looks like a tollhouse cookie. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2000, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/14 "2000-10-09T21:54:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by oldscratch \* > \*\*Nextup. Batman the TV series… \*\* Easy, Adam West had a cameo on the Simpsons with Mr. Burns. Mr Burns looks like Harvey Keitel’s penis. ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2000, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/15 "2000-10-09T21:56:56Z")
> [@](#): > > The Brand Spanking New Harvey Keitel Penis Game You lost me right there. Wouldn’t Harvey Keitel’s penis be approximately as old as Mr. Keitel himself? ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2000, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/16 "2000-10-09T21:57:05Z")
Ok, BottleOfSmoke cracks me up with the “Jack Palance looks like Harvey’s Penis” deal, and here I was trying to be serious. I just finished an extensive research jag on the web, and actually came up with this. Pamela Hayden (who does the voice of Milhouse) was in _Being John Malkovich_ with Madison Lanc Madison Lanc was in _X-Men_ with Anna Paquin And then we get back to Anna Paquin being in _The Piano_ with our staring appendage. All in all I like Bottle’s better. ---
**Author:** ![Mojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Mojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mojo)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2000, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/17 "2000-10-09T22:01:08Z")
> [@](#): > > A hard one (pun intended) is Madeline Albright or Kuala Lampur. -Madeline Albright looks like Harvey Keitel’s flaccid penis. -Kuala Lampur is home to the Petronas Towers, which were featured in the movie _Entrapment_ with Catherine Zeta-Jones, who, when I picture her nekkid, is one of the few things that can rid my mind of the image of HK’s penis. ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2000, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/18 "2000-10-09T22:03:13Z")
Very good Mr. batty. I’m afraid that I will have to disallow items that look like Harvey Keitel’s penis, that just makes the game too easy. I mean really, you could do everything in two steps with that one. And yes Manhattan, Mr. Keitel’s Penis would be old. But, I didn’t refer to Keitel\*\*'s\*\* penis. I refered to the penis game which to the best of my knowledge is new. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2000, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/19 "2000-10-09T22:18:20Z")
1)Harvey Keitel’s penis was shown in “Bad Lieutenant”, which also featured Harvey Keitel. 1. Harvey Keitel was the original lead in “Apocolypse Now”, but was replaced by Martin Sheen. 2. Martin Sheen voiced the “real” Seymour Skinner on “The Simpsons” (the episode where we find out that the “usual” Skinner is not the “real” Skinner), which also had Milhouse. ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2000, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/20 "2000-10-09T22:28:16Z")
Batman the TV series: Adam West starred in Batman the TV series When Adam West punched The Penguin it made the sound “Zoooooks!” “Zooooooks” is the mating call of the Emperor Penguin. Harvey Keitel’s penis is the same size as an Emperor Penguin. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316.md?page=2)