# The Brand Spanking New Harvey Keitel Penis Game **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 9, 2000, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316 "2000-10-09T21:34:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2000, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/21 "2000-10-09T23:03:09Z")
Four steps. Damn. Harvey Keitel’s penis was in Bad Lieutenant along with Harvey Keitel. Harvey Keitel was in [Inchiesta, L’ (1987)](http://www.imdb.com/Title?Inchiesta%2c+L%27+%281987%29) with Franco Fantasia. Franco Fantasia was in [Vivo per la tua morte (1967)](http://www.imdb.com/Title?Vivo+per+la+tua+morte+%281967%29) with Steve Reeves. Steve Reeves was in [Pirati della Malesia, I (1964)](http://us.imdb.com/Title?0058473) (The Pirates of Malaysia), where Kuala Lumpur is located. And four again. Double damn Harvey Keitel’s penis… etc. Harvey Keitel was in Clockers (1995) with John Turturro John Turturro was in Company Man (2000) with Chazz Palminteri Chazz Palminteri shares the same birthday with Madeline Albright. ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2000, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/22 "2000-10-09T23:35:39Z")
Aha! In 1997, **Madeline Albright** [recieved a letter](http://www.cnn.com/ALLPOLITICS/1997/07/06/thompson/campaign.finance/) from **Senator Fred Dalton Thomas** , with regard to the campaign finance violation hearings that Dalton was chairing. **Fred Dalton Thomas** appeared in [The Hunt for Red October](http://us.imdb.com/Title?0099810) with **Sam Neill**. **Sam Neill** starred in The Piano, along with **Harvey Keitel’s penis**. It’s Miller time. ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/23 "2000-10-10T00:17:26Z")
Maybe three steps is too hard. I’ll put it back at 6. although extra points if you can get it done in less. Kuala Lampur? Harvey Keitel’s penis appeared in Holy Smoke along with Dhritiman Chatterjee. Dhritiman Chatterjee acted in Aguntuk directed by Satyajit Ray In 1981Satyajit Ray filmed a TV series that took place partially in Kuala Lampur. That was called Pikoor Diary. I only know this one because my dad made me watch about every Ray film and tv series when I was a child. So now we have Batman the TV Series. Or more specifcly Adam West. And yes there are only three degrees of seperation between Mr. West and Mr. Winky. I’ll throw another easy one out. Alfred Hitchcock ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/24 "2000-10-10T00:37:27Z")
1. Hitchcock directed “The Birds”. 2. “Birds” is English slang for “girls”, “broads”, “wimmins”. 3. I need all the wimmins in the world to get Keitels penis out of my mind! Great thread, oldscratch. The title alone had me in stitches 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/25 "2000-10-10T00:45:28Z")
1. The band Rush has a song called Coldfire 2. The SD has a poster called Coldfire 3. Coldfire looks like Harvey Keitel’s penis 😃 ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/26 "2000-10-10T01:09:23Z")
nonono. Remember, we can’t go by looks. Otherwise it’s just too easy. Can you honestly, at this point, name someone who doesn’t bring to mind Harvey Keitel’s penis. Be honest now. Coldfire is a Dutchman The Dutch created that lovely “I wanna Fuck you in the ass” commercial That commercial was in the film circut on “World’s best commercials” That film also contained a commercial for Miller Lite. I believe that Miller Lite was featured in the film Bliss with Kerry Walker (this is a stretch, but I’m fairly certain of this (if not I just know that Harvey’s been in at least one movie with miller)) Kerry Walker appeared in the piano, along with Harvey Keitel Bam, Coldfire to Harvey Keitel’s penis. Easy. ---
**Author:** ![hawthorne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@hawthorne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawthorne)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/27 "2000-10-10T07:52:24Z")
Feh **oldscratch** , yours could use toning up a bit. [ul][li] **coldfire** frequents this MB.[/li][li]Today in General Questions we have a question about [the name of the glass piece that is broken in “Oscar and Lucinda” (the movie)](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=41660).[/li][li]_Oscar and Lucinda_ the novel was written by Peter Carey, who also wrote the novel _Bliss_. Follow your path from here to Mr Keitel’s skinflute.[/ul][/li]picmr ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/28 "2000-10-10T13:10:11Z")
Miller is a beer brewed in Milwaukee. Millwaukee is the place that Jody Fosters character is from in Taxi Driver. Taxi driver also starred, alongside De Niro, Shepherd, and foster, Harvey Kitel’s one Eyed trouser snake. next… Robinson Crusoe, and there is a three degree from someone trapped on an island to the afformentioned appendage. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/29 "2000-10-10T13:23:28Z")
Harvey Kitel (owner of the subject penis) has 11 letters in his name. Daniel Dafoe (author of Robinson Crusoe) has 11 letters in his name. Coincidence? Illuminati plot? Evidence of the inner workings of the Tri-Lateral Commission? I suspect not since Harvey Kitel’s name is spelled wrong in TwistofFate’s post. The plot thickens. How 'bout this connectin: Harvey Keitel’s penis and Graceland? ---
**Author:** ![jb\_farley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9d8465/32.png) [@jb\_farley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jb_farley)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/30 "2000-10-10T13:28:42Z")
I win the prize! Connection of one. Keitel played the king (ha!) in the movie “Finding Graceland”. Do I get a donut? jb ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/31 "2000-10-10T13:32:37Z")
Sure, pick a prize, any prize. Not the connection I was thinking of (Harvey K (and his penis) were in Pulp Fiction with Bruce Willis, who (presumably with his own penis) was in Moonlighting with Cybil Shephard (who goes without a penis I do believe), who dated The King (who may have had a penis but was do doped up that it was probably not functional), who lived at Graceland), but what the hell. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/32 "2000-10-10T13:35:16Z")
Ok, Rominson Crusoe was written by mr Dafoe, as mentioned above. A namesake of Daniel Dafoe (relation?) is Willem Dafoe. Willem Dafoe starred in "The last Temptation of Christ, alongside, Mr Keitel’s penis. As for Graceland? “Graceland” was owned by Elvis. Elvis has been the subject of many films. One of these Films is “finding Graceland” starring Harvey Keitel, and his penis ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/33 "2000-10-10T13:40:51Z")
Alrighty, try this one: in three steps, link Tom Cruise to Keitels _schwantz_. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/34 "2000-10-10T13:53:04Z")
Tom Cruise (and his incredibly lucky penis) are married to Nicole Kidman. NK is an “Auzzie Gull.” Sam Neil, who was in “The Piano” with HKP (Harvey Keitel’s Penis), is also an Australian. Ergo, the connection from Tom Cruise’s penis to Harvey Keitel’s penis is through Sam Neil by way of Nicole Kidman. ---
**Author:** ![jb\_farley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9d8465/32.png) [@jb\_farley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jb_farley)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/35 "2000-10-10T14:00:54Z")
tom cruise was in **eyes wide shut** , a film plagued by rumor and mystery in its initial stages. keitel originally starred in the role sydney pollack plays now, and one rumor as to why he left was as follows: “there was a scene where harvey’s character was supposed to be masturbating over the head of nicole kidman’s character, and he accidentally splooged. the two couldn’t make eye contact, let alone work together, after that.” I swear I am not making that up. another one, baby! ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/36 "2000-10-10T14:05:55Z")
Nope, both wrong. Creative, jb, but wrong 😉 ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/37 "2000-10-10T14:10:54Z")
I have a proper one for Coldfire. “Coldfire” is a poster from the sdmb. Coldfire is also the first words from “The prettiest Star” by David Bowie, who also had a song called “TRhe young americans” “The young americans” is also the title of a film starring HK’s John Thomas. ---
**Author:** ![jb\_farley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9d8465/32.png) [@jb\_farley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jb_farley)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/38 "2000-10-10T14:15:42Z")
**coldfire** would not make a very good lieutenant. harju makes a brief appearance in _Bad Lieutenant_. howzat? jugglin’ bandit ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/39 "2000-10-10T14:28:19Z")
Tom Cruise was in "The Firm. Holly Hunter was in “The Firm.” Holly Hunter was in “The Piano” with HK’s penis (whether it, too was firm I know not). ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/40 "2000-10-10T14:32:32Z")
I will pain you no longer. Tom Cruise was in “Interview with the Vampire” alongside Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt played a small role in “Thelma and Louise”. “Thelma and Louise” starred Harvey Keitel and his penis as well. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316.md?page=3)