# The Brand Spanking New Harvey Keitel Penis Game **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 9, 2000, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316 "2000-10-09T21:34:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/41 "2000-10-10T14:36:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > \*\*Harvey Keitel and his penis as well. \*\* If that dosent qualify as a Dr. Seuss book I don’t know what would. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/42 "2000-10-10T14:47:30Z")
Another linkage for the original one. Milhouse is from _The Simpsons_ which features the voice of Hank Azaria. Hank Azaria was married to Helen Hunt. Helen Hunt once said she liked Harvey Keitel’s penis on _Mad About You_. Three degrees without even having to invoke Milhouse’s “flamboyantly homosexual tendencies”. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/43 "2000-10-10T14:58:35Z")
Let’s see if we can get Eve to play: The connection between Harvey Keitel’s Penis and Humphrey Boagart in degrees or less. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/44 "2000-10-10T15:00:11Z")
Ooops. That should read “6 degrees or fewer.” ---
**Author:** ![jb\_farley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9d8465/32.png) [@jb\_farley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jb_farley)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/45 "2000-10-10T15:14:31Z")
Bogey starred in “Beat the Devil”. Keitel is playing the Devil in the upcoming SAndler fiesta “Little Nicky”. I think the connection here speaks for itself. sincerely, Jerry Bartowski ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/46 "2000-10-10T16:20:28Z")
Robinson Crusoe Pierce Brosnan played the title role in 1996. Pierce also appears in _The World is not Enough_ with John Cleese. John Cleese appeared this year in _The Magic Pudding_, with The Man Who Would Hold Harvey Keitel’s Penis, Sam Neill. I don’t want to spoil Eve’s fun, but I will say that you can get straight from Bogie to Harvey’s monkey in three moves. I’ve been thinking about William Faulkner. Can he get to Harvey’s penis _without_ using a film that has Bogart in it? How about Harvey’s penis and… a cuttlefish? ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/47 "2000-10-10T16:32:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sofa King \* > \*\* > How about Harvey’s penis and… a cuttlefish? > \*\* Are we allowed to use odor as factor? If so, I can do it in one. ---
**Author:** ![Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bottle_of_Smoke)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/48 "2000-10-10T17:01:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jack Batty \* > Are we allowed to use odor as factor? If so, I can do it in one. \*\* Bwahahaha! Jack, you’re killin’ me here. I was going to do it in two: When agitated, a cuttlefish changes color When agitated, Harvey Keitel’s penis also changes color (one assumes). ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/49 "2000-10-10T17:09:38Z")
> [@](#): > > Are we allowed to use odor as factor? If so, I can do it in one. I was thinking about consistency, that works in one move as well. ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/50 "2000-10-10T17:11:08Z")
I’m surprised no one has proposed this one: HK’sP and Bill Clinton? ---
**Author:** ![Inky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7feea3/32.png) [@Inky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky_1)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/51 "2000-10-10T17:18:19Z")
A cuttlefish is a cephalopod. “Cepolopod” means “footed-head” in Latin. Harvey Keitels penis has a head. Okay, how about United Nations General Secretary Kofi Annan. ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/52 "2000-10-10T17:20:05Z")
What, no Gwar fans in the house? ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/53 "2000-10-10T17:20:09Z")
Cuttlefish? a cuttledfish is a small squid. A large squid was featured in 20,000 leagues under the sea alongside Captain Nemo, played by Ben Cross. Ben Cross was Prince Malagant in First Knight alongside King Arthur, Sean Connery Sean Connery was in The Hunt for red October with Sam Neil and Sam Neil was with Kiddie Keitel in the Piano. and since no one got batman. the Batman TV series frequently had James O’hara as a TV Sargent. James O’hara was in Driller Killer with Abel Ferrara. Abel Ferrara wrote and directed bad Lt. Next up **Mike Myers** the comedian. ---
**Author:** ![jb\_farley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9d8465/32.png) [@jb\_farley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jb_farley)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/54 "2000-10-10T17:20:34Z")
so what’s the difference between Harvey Keitel’s dick, and Grimace? well, one of them is a disgusting purple monstrosity, and the other is… wait for it, wait for it! … a McDonald’s character. _ba-dum CHA_ ---
**Author:** ![Inky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7feea3/32.png) [@Inky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky_1)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/55 "2000-10-10T17:26:44Z")
Driller Killer?!? ---
**Author:** ![jb\_farley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9d8465/32.png) [@jb\_farley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jb_farley)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/56 "2000-10-10T17:31:28Z")
mike myers was a cast member of saturday night live when keitel made an appearence (madonna was the musical guest, but I got no date or even approximate age). One of the skits featured keitel trying to use the facilities of a restaurant while the odd bathroom attendant (Nealon, maybe?) got quirkier and quirkier. and guess what, folks. harvey dropped his pants. sure, nothing was visible, but as a method actor, he would almost certainly really drop the trou, y’know? bam! another 1! where the hell’s my donuts? jb ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/57 "2000-10-10T18:11:04Z")
Kofi Annan is married to Nane Annan Nane Annan is the niece of Raoul Wallenberg, the diplomat who rescued 100000 Jews from Hungary in WWII… …and who was played by Richard Chamberlain in _Wallenberg: A Hero’s Story_… …Chamberlain also starred in the miniseries “Too Rich: The Secret Life of Doris Duke” along with Brian Dennehy… …who was in this year’s production of “Fail Safe,” along with one Harvey Keitel… …whose penis has appeared on-screen more often than many of us would prefer. Let’s compare big and small, now: Harvey versus Ron Jeremy ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/58 "2000-10-10T18:35:32Z")
Faulkner authored a short story titled “Smoke,” and HK and His Penis starred in a movie titled “Smoke.” Faulker also wrote “As I Lay Dying,” which we called “As I Lay Breeding” in my English class my senior year in high school. The connection between breeding and HK’sP should be self-evident. ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/59 "2000-10-10T18:48:50Z")
Damn. Good one Jb-farley. I never even thought of that one. Now, Calista Flockhart and Keitel’s wang. ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/60 "2000-10-10T20:29:09Z")
Calista Flockhart was an extra in _Quiz Show_, with John Turturro. Tuturro was in _Clockers_ with… a cameo appearance by Spike Lee… …who directed _Mo Better Blues_… …and dialogue from which serves as the introduction for the Roots’ album _Things Fall Apart_… …which features guest artist Schooly D… …who did the famous “your sister is so low she’d suck the dick of a little maggot” song (with a sample from Zeppelin’s _Kashmir_) in the film Bad Lieutenant, starring Harvey Keitel’s penis. What, you didn’t think I’d go straight from Clockers, did you? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316.md?page=4)