# The Brand Spanking New Harvey Keitel Penis Game **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 9, 2000, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316 "2000-10-09T21:34:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/61 "2000-10-10T20:35:00Z")
Not bad Sofa king. Don’t forget to start a new one once you get it. I actually had a different line (I forgot she was in clockers) Calista stars in Ally Mcbeal with this seasons special guest, Robert Downey Jr. Robby starred in Two Girls and a Guy (with his penis) directed by James Toback James Toback directed Bugsy with Keitel. In Holy Smoke frequent views are seen of Keitel’s Bugsy. How about… The Dalai Lama ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/62 "2000-10-10T21:23:27Z")
Unbelievable. While rooting around to see what the big DL has done I ran across this: [À la recherche de Kundun avec Martin Scorsese (1998)](http://us.imdb.com/Title?0169410), or _Searching for Kundun with Martin Scorsese._ The Dalai Lama plays himself. And of course, Scorsese directed Keitel in _Taxi Driver_, thus giving the Dalai Lama one of the _lower_ Harvey Keitel Penis Numbers out there. About a two and a half, if you consider that the real star didn’t make his appearance in _Taxi Driver_. Okay, how about this one: Jeremy Irons’ penis and Harvey Keitel’s penis: how close are they _really_? ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/63 "2000-10-10T21:27:33Z")
Way too easy. Jeremy Irons starred in Faeries with Kate Winslet. (as voices of course). What movies have his penis appeared in again? I’m trying to remember. \*Note to self, when you attempt to remember all the movies that have featured the Irons Iron, you need help. Next one. Steve Jobs and Keitel’s Schlong ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/64 "2000-10-10T22:05:39Z")
Well, see, I was trying to go penis-to-penis with that question. Example: Jeremy Irons’ penis stars in _Damage_ with Juliette Binoche Who stars in _The English Patient_ with Willem Dafoe Who appears in _Victory_ with Sam Neill Who has just been rubbed all over by Harvey Keitel’s penis today for his role in _The Piano_. I’m curious to see how close Steve Jobs is to Harvey’s job. ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/65 "2000-10-10T22:07:40Z")
As an aside, Bruce Willis’ penis and Harvey Keitel’s penis are so close they’re practically touching. ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/66 "2000-10-11T20:49:48Z")
ahhh yes. Pulp Fiction. How about. Al Pacino and Harvey Keitel’s penis ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/67 "2000-10-11T20:58:24Z")
Ok, enough of this foolishness. Here’s what we all really want to know. How close is OldScratch to Harvey Keitel’s penis? ---
**Author:** ![jb\_farley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9d8465/32.png) [@jb\_farley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jb_farley)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/68 "2000-10-11T21:08:00Z")
so close, they’re like family ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/69 "2000-10-11T21:43:47Z")
I’ll do this one. OldScratch has a family friend in Timothy Busfield (same religion as my parents, go figure) Timothy Busfield is in the West Wing with Rob Lowe (who exposed his penis and an underaged girl for millions) Rob Lowe stared in Austin Powers 2 the Spy Who Shagged me, with Heather Graham Heather Graham was in Two Girls and a Guy, directed by James Tomback. James Tombak wrote Bugsy, starring Keitel. There’s an even shorter path involving John’s Malkovich, but I really don’t want to be any closer to the Little Bad Lt. than nessecary. ---
**Author:** ![middleman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@middleman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/middleman)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2002, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316/70 "2002-10-10T02:25:06Z")
Heh. Me and my friends use to play the Kevin Bacon game with Harvey Keitel’s wang. Great minds? Nah. Lots of alcohol. I offer a suggested rule. You cannot use Harvey Keitel. That was the way it was offered to me. “Harvey Keitel’s penis…but you can’t got hrough Harvey Keitel!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-brand-spanking-new-harvey-keitel-penis-game/36316.md?page=3)