# The Bread Spread Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 21, 2002, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bread-spread-thread/120107 "2002-07-21T16:58:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2002, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bread-spread-thread/120107/21 "2002-07-22T16:11:35Z")
**Thousand Island** or **Russian** dressing on anything with corned beef or turkey. I spend the two weeks immediately following Thanksgiving eating nothing but fresh turkey sammiches with Russian dressing! Also, **Fenris** , I prefer boysenberry jam myself. šŸ˜‰ Oh, and the ultimate sammich ā€œspreadā€ (although some might not classify it as such)ā€¦ Cole Slaw. The glories of cole slaw on a rost beast or turkey sammich have not been rivaled in all the long years of sammich making. Wonderful stuff, that. ---
**Author:** ![TelcontarStorm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3ab097/32.png) [@TelcontarStorm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TelcontarStorm)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2002, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bread-spread-thread/120107/22 "2002-07-22T16:55:35Z")
Ok, you all seem to have forgotten one of my favorite sammich stuff. \*\* Starr Cross Pizza Sauce\*\* this peticular brand is thick and wonderfull on every type of sammich! Cheese Sammich? Nope,Instant pizza! Remember it ainā€™t Ketchup unless itā€™s Heintz! Miricle Whip?! \*\* gag/retch \*\* Stay away from my Subway! ---
**Author:** ![Belrix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed655f/32.png) [@Belrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belrix)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2002, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bread-spread-thread/120107/23 "2002-07-22T18:02:29Z")
Strange but good: Mustard & **Raspberry Jam** on Turkey sandwiches. Cream Cheese & Sprouts (or mild onion) also with Turkey. Mmmmm Good! ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2002, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bread-spread-thread/120107/24 "2002-07-22T18:39:55Z")
NUTELLA! On toast, bagels or english muffins! Or, a good pimento cheese spread is essential on any sandwich with a lunch-meat type filling. Oh, and Miracle Whip?.. better than mayonnaise all around. ---
**Author:** ![Sparrow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Sparrow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparrow)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2002, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bread-spread-thread/120107/25 "2002-07-22T20:03:56Z")
Bacon grease, goose fat . . . and I canā€™t believe no-oneā€™s mentioned beef dripping! Or donā€™t you have that in the States. When I was little it was an incredible treat for Sunday night supper when weā€™d had roast beef for Sunday lunch. What you did was this . . when the beef was done, you drained off all the fat and put it in a bowl to cool, then in the fridge to set. By the evening the fat would have set solid on top and in layers, so underneath you had this layer of soft brown fat flavoured with beef, and under that this gorgeous layer of beef flavoured jelly. You turned it out of the bowl, spread the soft fat on toast and topped it with the beef jelly. Magical! ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2002, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bread-spread-thread/120107/26 "2002-07-22T20:21:41Z")
Sparrow, Iā€™ve been known to dunk the heel of a loaf of bread into the beef fat (and mop up the crunchy bits) when having a roast beef, but your post A) sounds wonderful and B) may have made my heart stop from cholesterol overload. Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Nortia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Nortia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nortia)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2002, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bread-spread-thread/120107/27 "2002-07-22T20:44:30Z")
Could I suggest butter and salad cream butties? It really does taste better than it sounds. Honest! **Fenris** , Salad Cream poured over lettuce, tomatoes and cucumber with a bit of cheese and some Branston Pickle is heaven šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![Sparrow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Sparrow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparrow)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2002, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bread-spread-thread/120107/28 "2002-07-22T21:19:04Z")
Cheddar cheese, mayonnaise, marmite and cucumber. A perfect combination of textures and flavours! ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2002, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bread-spread-thread/120107/29 "2002-07-23T00:56:24Z")
Vegemite is a gift from the Gods. Well, okay, maybe not very senior Gods. Actually, the God of Brewery Sludge, but man, is that stuff wonderful. šŸ™‚ And next time you have marmalade on toast, put some thinly sliced tasty cheese on the toast before you spread the marmalade. Thatā€™s pretty good. It getā€™s a nice sweet / savoury thing happening. ---
**Author:** ![Ximenean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/aca169/32.png) [@Ximenean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ximenean)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2002, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bread-spread-thread/120107/30 "2002-07-23T05:24:52Z")
These are not bread spreads, these are recipes. What we want is something you can throw together in 15 seconds flat but is nevertheless sandwichular perfection. I believe I have found the holy grail of bread toppings, and it is called **Sardine and Tomato Spread** preferably 1/4 inch thick on buttered bread. I know, it sounds horrible - I donā€™t like sardines and Iā€™m not struck on tomatoes either, but trust me, this stuff is nectar, and you donā€™t even have to be fussy about brands. Shippams is good, but supermarket own-brands work almost as well. Try it, youā€™ll thank me. And by the way, if you must indulge in recipe sandwiches, salad cream is to my mind an essential ingredient in both cheese-on-toast and tuna sandwiches (50% with mayo). ---
**Author:** ![dwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dwyr/32/363_2.png) [@dwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwyr)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2002, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bread-spread-thread/120107/31 "2002-07-23T07:37:04Z")
I feel compelled to add to (and probably kill) this thread by mentioning the glorious apple butter. Especially homemade by which I mean made by me. Itā€™s great stuff and I have a pile of testimonials to prove it. (If my family hasnā€™t been lying to me all these years that is.) Take some crusty rolls split in half, slathered generously with apple butter and topped with tender pork loin and there you have a magnificent sandwich. That is all. ---
**Author:** ![Granuaile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecccb3/32.png) [@Granuaile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Granuaile)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2002, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bread-spread-thread/120107/32 "2002-07-23T10:24:50Z")
**brondicon** , I too have experienced the joy that is fried bread. I do it a little differently though. I save the bacon fat in a little crock on top of my stove. Spread the solidified fat on bread (like butter) and fry in a hot pan til crunchy on both sides. Its a little lighter that the traditional way of preparing it. To enhance the taste, spread fried bread with thick cut orange marmalade and eat with soft boiled eggs and hot tea. I think I know what Iā€™m making for breakfast. Another excellent spread for bread is White Meat Chicken spread by Underwood. Comes in a little tin wrapped in paper. Instant sandwich. G. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2002, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bread-spread-thread/120107/33 "2002-07-23T10:55:51Z")
Olive oil poured onto sliced ciabatta and topped with some nice salty cheese. ---
**Author:** ![red\_dragon60](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@red\_dragon60](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/red_dragon60)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2002, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bread-spread-thread/120107/34 "2002-07-23T14:30:52Z")
Croissant with ham and swiss cheese with Hellmanā€™s REAL mayonaise and pesto! Grandmaā€™s pesto goes well on anything. She makes it with gobs of basil and garlic. Mmm, I think I will have some right now. ---
**Author:** ![medstar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f07891/32.png) [@medstar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/medstar)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bread-spread-thread/120107/35 "2002-07-24T00:40:07Z")
Has anyone else tried roasted garlic squeezed out on to freshly baked sourdough bread? Am I the only one who has tastebuds refined enough to swoon with pleasure over this gustatory treat? Well, am I? ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bread-spread-thread/120107/36 "2002-07-24T01:13:35Z")
OK, I will be the third (or maybe fourth) person to say that I like Miracle Whip. In fact, I LOVE it, and I HATE mayo. Mayonaise is nasty. It tastes likeā€¦well, like crap! Itā€™s just so bland and what little flavor it has it just horrible! All of you are in denial. One day, the revolution will come, and you will not be spared. Anyways, I actually love bacon grease on toast, but in a different way. I like bacon, so I make it a lot for any random meal, and I always have toast (with BUTTER, not that fake crap scientists make) on it. When the bacon is eaten up, little pools of uncongealed grease lay on the plate, and in comes the toast to mop up. Bacon grease AND butter? Heaven on my tongue, Hell in my arteries. Has anyones else had Maple Butter? Itā€™s damn near impossible to get outside the northeast, but it is sooooo good on toast, or English muffins, or lots of other stuff. Itā€™s even easy to make your own, just add maple sugar or syrup to butter! Easy! ---
**Author:** ![kitarak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kitarak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kitarak)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bread-spread-thread/120107/37 "2002-07-24T01:15:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LolaCocaCola \* > \*\*Vegemite on buttered toast. > > num num > > šŸ˜› \*\* Absolutely. But you have to be careful not to use too much vegemite - If the taste is too strong it rapidly becomes unpleasant. (Actually I use margarine, or olive spread, but itā€™s basically the same thing. I just try to avoid dairy products when itā€™s not too much effort) ---
**Author:** ![DarkWriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee59a6/32.png) [@DarkWriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarkWriter)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bread-spread-thread/120107/38 "2002-07-24T03:40:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bouv \* > \*\*OK, I will be the third (or maybe fourth) person to say that I like Miracle Whip. In fact, I LOVE it, and I HATE mayo. Mayonaise is nasty. It tastes likeā€¦well, like crap! Itā€™s just so bland and what little flavor it has it just horrible! All of you are in denial. One day, the revolution will come, and you will not be spared. > \*\* Ditto! If we get Subway or Chik-Fil-A, I have them hold the mayo and put on the Whip when I get home with it. And Whip + ketchup on my home-grilled hamburgers is absolutely fantastic. šŸ™‚ Sheri ---
**Author:** ![owlstretchingtime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/958977/32.png) [@owlstretchingtime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/owlstretchingtime)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bread-spread-thread/120107/39 "2002-07-24T12:06:04Z")
Shiphams Fish Paste and Gentlemanā€™s relish (but not together) [http://shop.store.yahoo.com/chefshop/genrel.html](http://shop.store.yahoo.com/chefshop/genrel.html) it really is the food of the gods. ---
**Author:** ![Tansu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@Tansu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tansu)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bread-spread-thread/120107/40 "2002-07-24T12:28:14Z")
Oooh, Nutella, ambrosia of the badgers. (Eddie Izzard reference - ā€œbees make honey - do earwigs make chutney? Do badgers make nutella?ā€ At college, my brothers and sisters of the Circle of Beer sat down and worked out what animal made every single spread we could think of. Sadly, I have now forgotten most of them except the following: Ladybirds make piccallili. Centipedes make crunchy peanut butter Millipedes make smooth peanut butter (they can stomp it into a finer grain) Chinchillas make Milky Way fluffy spread. Dragonflies make tartare sauce. I _think_ that mice made ketchup and rats made HP sauce, but Iā€™m unsure on those. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bread-spread-thread/120107.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-bread-spread-thread/120107.md?page=3)