# The British Empire was... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 22, 2003, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845 "2003-02-22T22:44:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![JesusPresley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bc8723/32.png) [@JesusPresley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JesusPresley)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2003, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845/1 "2003-02-22T22:44:09Z")
…the answer to it all. No more wars between hostile countries and the west because we would own the fucking lot - including the USA, Australia, India, Pakistan - the whole shebang. We could even flatten those would be commie bastards the Russians, and the crazy mixed up Chinese. No problems with oil, illegal imigrants, weapons of mass destruction, newspapers, democracy, stupid stupid religion, nothing. We would kill whoever, whenever and for whatever. Don’t like it? Tough shit we’ll do it anyway. Bomb the fucking lot and take it all, every bit, every fucking last morsel of whatever they have that we need. What a wonderful world, bring back the British Empire and all problems would be sorted. Just make sure we nuke the French before we begin… …Fucking Sweet. ---
**Author:** ![ticker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@ticker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ticker)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2003, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845/2 "2003-02-22T23:06:46Z")
Indian Mutiny? ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2003, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845/3 "2003-02-22T23:07:52Z")
I’ll agree to British domination when you get the BBC to bring back _Dr. Who_. ---
**Author:** ![Atreyu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Atreyu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atreyu)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2003, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845/4 "2003-02-22T23:08:40Z")
I respectfully decline the opportunity to join your hallucination. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845/5 "2003-02-23T01:17:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ticker \* > \*\*Indian Mutiny? \*\* Press gangs… Rum, sodomy, and the lash… The whip, knout, cat-o-nine-tails, noose, cage… Forbidding local languages… Drawing lines on maps apparently at random… Okay, Sleeman wiping out the Thugs was good: that pays for a lot. Trinopus ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845/6 "2003-02-23T01:37:25Z")
Given the amount of anti-US sentiment in the world today, I think letting the Queen take all the heat wouldn’t be a bad idea. ---
**Author:** ![SRB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@SRB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SRB)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845/7 "2003-02-23T02:31:28Z")
What was that old saying about the British Empire? The sun never set on the British Empire, nor did the blood ever dry. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845/8 "2003-02-23T02:56:55Z")
By Jingo, I think this chappie’s onto something! How I long for the days when a rousing chorus of “God Save the Queen” and a little gunboat diplomacy was all we need to put the fear of Empire into the darkies. I say, call out the regiments and let’s go show Johnny Foreigner a bit of the old business, eh wot? We’ll be done by tea-time! And then we can put those bloody colonials in their place! Been getting a bit uppity lately, the treasonous little pikers. So how’s the weather over there in the nineteenth century, anyway? ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845/9 "2003-02-23T03:05:27Z")
A little British blood in everyone? Ugly women, bad teeth, strange senses of humor, etc. What’s not to love. I’m in. ---
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845/10 "2003-02-23T03:42:00Z")
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Any country that keeps Neighbours and Home and Away on the air aint’ fit to rule squat. Nuff said. ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845/11 "2003-02-23T03:42:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SRB \* > \*\*What was that old saying about the British Empire? The sun never set on the British Empire, nor did the blood ever dry. \*\* “The sun never sets on the British Empire, because God doesn’t trust the Brits in the dark.” Heh. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845/12 "2003-02-23T03:49:39Z")
Feh. Remember who sailed up the Thames and whooped your arses, laddy. I say we reinstate the [Republic of the Seven United Netherlands](http://www.home.zonnet.nl/d.van.duijvenbode/geschnl-e.htm), sail the seven seas, steal some spices and shit, colonise the living crap out of the darkies, and generally be all around swell guys who rule the world and seabattle anyone who disagrees, 'cause we have too little land to fight on. Then again, maybe not. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845/13 "2003-02-23T03:56:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pkbites \* > **Ugly women** Umm… no. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845/14 "2003-02-23T03:58:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > **I say we reinstate the [Republic of the Seven United Netherlands](http://www.home.zonnet.nl/d.van.duijvenbode/geschnl-e.htm), sail the seven seas, steal some spices and shit, colonise the living crap out of the darkies, and generally be all around swell guys who rule the world and seabattle anyone who disagrees, 'cause we have too little land to fight on.** As long as you don’t make us wear wooden shoes, I’m amenable to it. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845/15 "2003-02-23T04:13:05Z")
Naaw… bring back the Empire of Og. Paleolithic dominion over the inhuman cretins Over the Yonder Hill and Those Frog-faced Geeks on the Western Islands. The freshly-blooded flint axe and the fire-hardened spear will protect divine right once again! ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845/16 "2003-02-23T04:15:32Z")
What you _need_ is for all the _Queers_ to tell you what to do. “Let’s do Iraq in a desert motif!” ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845/17 "2003-02-23T05:42:24Z")
Mad cow disease is _not_ pretty. ---
**Author:** ![Protesilaus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Protesilaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Protesilaus)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845/18 "2003-02-23T09:03:01Z")
You know what empire we need to bring back? The Romans. Remember what happened to Carthage? It was burnt to the ground, and then they salted the earth so nothing would ever grow there again. That’s just the kind of resolve we need. Plus, they really knew how to party. None of that reserved Victorian crap. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845/19 "2003-02-23T09:07:31Z")
Yeah! We _still_ don’t know where Carthage was! That’s a decisive victory. Plus, they had better orgies than the Victorians. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845/20 "2003-02-23T16:23:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Miller \* > \*\*Plus, [the Romans] had better orgies than the Victorians. \*\* Quite. By the time you got the ladies’ corsets off, the mood had passed. Togas, on the other hand… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845.md?page=2)