# The British Empire was... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 22, 2003, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845 "2003-02-22T22:44:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845/21 "2003-02-23T16:39:31Z")
pkbites, your a fucking moron. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845/22 "2003-02-23T17:03:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pkbites \* > \*\*A little British blood in everyone? Ugly women, bad teeth, strange senses of humor, etc. > What’s not to love. I’m in. \*\* “Ugly women”? :rolleyes: Try going to the UK sometime. Before I met Fierra I had to wear a neck brace every time I went, because I kept turning to glance casually at the beauties that seem to flock about the streets. “Looking at your legs? No, not at all, I was only admiring your…umm…dress and…(gulp) stockings and…heels…tell me, where would a gal like myself shop for the same thing? Could I…um…[sub]come to your house and try some things on? And maybe I could give you a backrub, you look so tired carrying those luscious…umm…breasts… around all day?[/sub]” ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845/23 "2003-02-23T17:20:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TwistofFate \* > \*\*pkbites, your a fucking moron. \*\* Not really. But I do have a little British blood in me on my Paternal grandmothers side, and I can vouch for everything I said. Next thing you know you’ll be screaming at me for making comments about red headed yuppies. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845/24 "2003-02-23T17:40:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > **Feh. Remember who sailed up the Thames and whooped your arses, laddy.** Just in case he doesn’t, here’s the poem[The Dutch in the Medway (1664-1672) by Rudyard Kipling](http://whitewolf.newcastle.edu.au/words/authors/K/KiplingRudyard/verse/english_history/dutchmedway.htmlhttp://whitewolf.newcastle.edu.au/words/authors/K/KiplingRudyard/verse/english_history/dutchmedway.html) ---
**Author:** ![Tuco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tuco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuco)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845/25 "2003-02-23T17:44:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Silentgoldfish \* > \*\*I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Any country that keeps Neighbours and Home and Away on the air aint’ fit to rule squat. > > Nuff said. \*\* That’s just our strange sense of humour that **pkbiteme** thinks is a bad thing 😃 As for the bring back the empire stuff, there weren’t any big wars when when we ruled everything, then we gave a load of stuff up and everyone’s fighting. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845/26 "2003-02-23T17:55:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pkbites \* > \*\*Not really. But I do have a little British blood in me on my Paternal grandmothers side, and I can vouch for everything I said. > \*\* My girlfriend is English, and as well as being beautiful she has great teeth, as anyone who has met her can verify. You however, display ample evidence for being a fucking moron. ---
**Author:** ![NothingMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b77776/32.png) [@NothingMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NothingMan)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845/27 "2003-02-23T17:57:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Michael Ellis \* > \*\*I’ll agree to British domination when you get the BBC to bring back _Dr. Who_. \*\* Well I am not agreeing for anything less than an entire channel devoted to _The Black Adder_. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845/28 "2003-02-23T18:15:56Z")
No wars? Let’s see, the Boer War, Crimean War, Napoleonic Wars, and a whole bunch of others that came extremely close. :rolleyes: Oh, and Russia is not communist, anymore, and even then, throughout most of the British Imperial period, it was the RUSSIAN Empire. ---
**Author:** ![ganglian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7feea3/32.png) [@ganglian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ganglian)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845/29 "2003-02-23T19:00:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JesusPresley \* > \*\*…the answer to it all. > > No more wars between hostile countries and the west because we would own the fucking lot - including the USA, Australia, India, Pakistan - the whole shebang. We could even flatten those would be commie bastards the Russians, and the crazy mixed up Chinese. > > No problems with oil, illegal imigrants, weapons of mass destruction, newspapers, democracy, stupid stupid religion, nothing. We would kill whoever, whenever and for whatever. Don’t like it? Tough shit we’ll do it anyway. Bomb the fucking lot and take it all, every bit, every fucking last morsel of whatever they have that we need. > > What a wonderful world, bring back the British Empire and all problems would be sorted. > > Just make sure we nuke the French before we begin… > > …Fucking Sweet. \*\* I think you should settle for an American equivalent, because that would be more possible. As far as nuking the French, God save the Queen, baby… ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845/30 "2003-02-23T19:15:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > **Feh. Remember who sailed up the Thames and whooped your arses, laddy.** - or those who rowed across the North Sea for the same purpose, eh ? ---
**Author:** ![Spiny\_Norman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@Spiny\_Norman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiny_Norman)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845/31 "2003-02-23T19:20:49Z")
Ehm - the above reference to Swein Forkbeard conquering England was of course made by me, **Spiny Norman** , not by **Shayna**. ---
**Author:** ![JesusPresley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bc8723/32.png) [@JesusPresley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JesusPresley)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845/32 "2003-02-23T20:56:46Z")
Err, Guinastasia, I did write “would be commie bastards”, I am fully aware that Russia is now a wholely maffia state. By the way, how does it feel to be a resident of ones own rectum? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845/33 "2003-02-23T21:00:18Z")
I don’t know-you tell me. ---
**Author:** ![JesusPresley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bc8723/32.png) [@JesusPresley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JesusPresley)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845/34 "2003-02-23T21:14:49Z")
Thats a cheap, dirty, double crossing insult stealing reply, why I oughta… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![kabbes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e99b99/32.png) [@kabbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kabbes)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845/35 "2003-02-23T21:32:26Z")
In re: **Synnic’s** gnashers (presuming that **Twisty** is still stepping out with that particular Englishwoman): Yes. Yes, I would have to say that there is one lass with _truly_ great teeth. That’s all I have to say about this matter. pan ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845/36 "2003-02-23T21:43:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > \*\*What you _need_ is for all the _Queers_ to tell you what to do. > > “Let’s do Iraq in a desert motif!” \*\* Brings a new meaning to “For Queen and Country” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_Wright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845/37 "2003-02-23T22:43:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kabbes \* > \*\*Yes. Yes, I would have to say that there is one lass with _truly_ great teeth. > \*\* Indeed. A tribute to British dentistry at its finest. ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845/38 "2003-02-23T22:48:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kabbes \* > \*\*In re: **Synnic’s** gnashers (presuming that **Twisty** is still stepping out with that particular Englishwoman): > > Yes. Yes, I would have to say that there is one lass with _truly_ great teeth. > > That’s all I have to say about this matter. > > pan \*\* Her screenname is now **Tir Tinuviel** , they are still stepping out and yes, those are some fine teeth. Truly. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845/39 "2003-02-23T23:13:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\*the Boer War \*\* Hey! The British Empire doesn’t get to claim that all by itself. If it wasn’t for the Republic of the Netherlands, who selflessly shipped all those well-educated, broad-minded and bushman-loving _boeren_ (“farmers”) over in the first place, there wouldn’t have BEEN a struggle to try and stop British Oppression! **Spiny** , righty-oh me lad. Nothing wrong with a little Dutch/Danish alliance in fighting the Limeys. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Muad\_Dib](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/35a633/32.png) [@Muad\_Dib](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muad_Dib)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2003, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845/40 "2003-02-24T00:41:59Z")
I dunno if I would trust the British with another empire. After all, they are the only people in history to say “Meh, screw it” and just give up on their empire. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-british-empire-was/156845.md?page=3)