Canada who?
well, i might aswell dig up the only “good” Merriken joke i know:
Q: what’s the difference between probiotic yoghurt and the Merrikuns?
A: If you leave probiotic yoghurt out of the fridge for long enough, it’ll actually develop a culture
and if you want to rearrange my teeth, you’re going to have to catch me first
Come and get it then, you vowel-manglin’, SARS-ridden caribou fucker.
<sighs>
I used to have a great yearning to visit the UK: England, Scotland, Ireland, the whole shebang. I always promised myself I would go there when I became rich. I would daydream about visiting the rolling emerald fields of Ireland, soaking up the culture of Scotland, and visiting the great historical sites in England.
Now I just want to live in a hut in Chile.
You’ve ruined my dreams, you fuckers! 
Holy shit, I know you said you were drunk, but I’d think you’d notice if you had two.
But B-B-Q falls right off the bone. Y’all heah?! Yeee-hooo!
I spent almost a year working in Port Talbot so I know the place. Dreary weather as you cannot imagine. The first day I was there I went to visit our lawyers in Swansea and they had a beautiful view overlooking the bay out the window. I made a comment about the view and he said “That point over there is called ‘The Mumbles’. We have two kinds of weather here: if you cannot see the Mumbles it means it’s raining. If you can see the Mumbles it means it is about to rain.” Dreary and depressing weather every single day I was there. Which only adds to my admiration for a people who endure this all their lives without committing suicide as I probably would.
I have noted some kneejerk responses here and noticing where they originate from I can say they only support my thesis that some people take themselves much too seriously.
You mean, “I spent almost a year working in Port Talbot one weekend”, or, we’re talking about two different Port Talbots.
And what you said about The Mumbles – Mancunians say the same about The Pennines, only we tell the joke the right way around:
If yer can see the fuckin’ Pennines, it’s goin’ a rain, if yer can’t see the fuckers, it’s already fuckin’ rainin’
But usually with more “fucks”.
Ah, memories of me old mum come flooding back.
I was stayng at a tiny hotel and I believe there were only a couple of taxicabs in town and I got the same driver every morning to take me to work. The guy thought he spoke English but I never understood a single word he said.
Another amusing thing is that those Brits have a channel where you can watch snooker (billiards) for interminable hours. Add some whispered commentaries in Welsh and you can imagine the atmosphere. It is about as exciting as watching the grass grow. Admirable people, I tell you.
We’re so uptight because all the Puritan types settled here (didn’t someone from Aussieland come up with this insight during the Lewinski scandal?). There’s no joking around in the Bible, right? Ergo Big G doesn’t cotton to the funny stuff and we shouldn’t either. I hope the rest of you sheep shagging, potato eating, snaggle-toothed soccer (yea, SOCCER) hooligan’s enjoy barbecuing in hell for an eternity while I’m safely strumming my harp beyond the Pearly Gates. Dumbass heathens… 
I am amazed that no one here has yet pointed out that En-gl-und swings like a pendulum do.
Lobsang:
Do you have to make two trips to haul ass?
sailor:
But did you help him drink his wine? (He always had some mighty fine wine.)
I agree. You made a lighthearted, self-mocking OP, and those who are being light-heartedly mocked fell right into your trap.
Some of you cunts need to lighten up.
By the way, some links about Mark Roberts, the streaked who has streaked almost 300 times and even made a commercial where the players, referee, cops and public are all naked and he jumps into the field fully dressed.
As an American, I’m deeply offended by that remark.
As an Englishman, I’m distant and unemotional, but I do have a stiff upper lip.
As an Australian, I’m pissing me’self larfing, and I don’t have a stiff upper anything.
good that you included the “upper” in that part of the sentence
As a Belgian, there are no stereotypes available to take the piss out of me, so I remain indifferent.
Speaking as a man in the street, I… YAAARGH!
Unfortunately, a lack of stereotype is in fact the Belgian stereotype, so you did indeed fulfill it.