# The Burger King is out to get me! I know it! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 10, 2005, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515 "2005-10-10T06:08:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515/21 "2005-10-10T19:23:14Z")
> [@CynicalGabe](#): > > I’ve been stockpiling pitchforks and torches. > > Rally the townspeople. If he were stabbed, what do you think would come out of him? Grease? Ketchup? Special sauce? ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515/22 "2005-10-10T19:27:42Z")
> [@Amazon Floozy Goddess](#): > > If he were stabbed, what do you think would come out of him? That stuff they keep trying to get me to dip the onion rings in. And demons. Definitely demons. Like that scene in Army of Darkness, where there are all the little versions of Ash running around. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515/23 "2005-10-10T20:10:47Z")
If the Burger King empire things they can scare me into eating at their establishments with their creepy commercials, they are SADLY MISTAKEN! The worst one for me was the one where they guy woke up and the Burger King was IN BED with him. ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515/24 "2005-10-10T20:29:36Z")
> [@control-z](#): > > If the Burger King empire things they can scare me into eating at their establishments with their creepy commercials, they are SADLY MISTAKEN! > > The worst one for me was the one where they guy woke up and the Burger King was IN BED with him. Holy crap. Now I know exactly how to get my husband for Halloween. (Those commercials scare the CRAP out of me. Especially the guy in the construction site, because we’d just finished watching something on the History Channel that showed the workers walking around the 102nd story of the Empire State Building on beams. I got nauseous just looking at it.) E. ---
**Author:** ![Giant\_Spongess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/94ad74/32.png) [@Giant\_Spongess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giant_Spongess)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515/25 "2005-10-10T22:22:16Z")
You wanna know my response to the Burger King? **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGGH!!** Kind of like that one episode of the Simpsons. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515/26 "2005-10-10T23:33:25Z")
In Tennessee, there is a BK ad featuring a lumberjack with a chainsaw. He cuts down a tree, & there the Nightmare King stands, baring his twists grin & holding our his “food”. Were I the woodsman, I’d take that chainsaw, & make the world a better place. ---
**Author:** ![JimSox5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5a626/32.png) [@JimSox5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimSox5)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515/27 "2005-10-10T23:44:28Z")
All the King commercials have made me laugh so far. Of course, I was also a big fan of the [Spongmonkeys](http://www.rathergood.com/moon_song/). ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515/28 "2005-10-10T23:46:03Z")
> [@control-z](#): > > The worst one for me was the one where they guy woke up and the Burger King was IN BED with him. HELP ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515/29 "2005-10-11T00:14:07Z")
“Wake up with the King!” Add me to the list of blokes with wives who think The King is creepier than a can o’ millipedes. Me? I love the big goofy sonuvabitch. He’s the bastard love chile’ of Satan’s and Father Christmas’ Most Unnatural Act. He’s the most unintentionally disturbing thing I’ve seen coming out of the marketing world in quite some time, and I welcome his deranged visage warmly. It’s been too long. He makes that Quiznos baby look like Cupid. A contender is “Bob” from those Enzyte (“for Natural Male Enhancement”) commercials. Bob’s psychotic grin, coupled with the fact you know he’s wandering around with a giant, throbbing erection the whole time, certainly has given me a shudder or two. But nobody comes close to The King’s paradoxical beneficent skeevyness. All hail! ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515/30 "2005-10-11T02:05:26Z")
> [@John F](#): > > How do these concepts ever get out of the conference room? > > \ > > I guess it sparks conversation adn some TOM awareness That’s all marketing is these days: _being remembered_, and standing out from the great gelatinous blob that is mass communication these days. The honchos at BK have to be thrilled, because we’re _talking about their company._ Doesn’t really matter why or how. (Well, I guess it does matter; we’re not saying, “So, did you hear, they found another baby’s deep-fried face in a sandwich, what is that, sixteen now?” But you get the idea.) ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515/31 "2005-10-11T02:23:21Z")
The first one where the guy wakes up with the drag queen still disturbs me. To make things worse the costume reminds me of a housewife in an old bathrobe, head wrapped in a bath towel, smoking a cig out the side of her mouth, after a night bar hopping, standing on the front step about to pick up the paper before she has her coffee. Shudder… All that in one breath too! Woho! ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515/32 "2005-10-11T04:33:57Z")
Just the other day my boyfriend and I were talking about a movie being creepy. I flipped on the TV just as the BK lumberjack commercial came on. About a split second after I said the word “creepy”, the tree falls and there’s the Burger King with his Sandwich O’ Death. We laughed about the coincidence, however maybe it wasn’t a coincidence and just saying the word “creepy” summons him, if that’s true everyone here is in for some trouble and possibly elevated cholesterol. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515/33 "2005-10-11T04:57:20Z")
And now for something [really disturbing…](http://elitemrp.net/cgi-bin/wiyg/page.pl?l1=I+must+have+Amazon+Floozy+Goddess+as+my+queen%21) ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515/34 "2005-10-11T06:36:15Z")
King of the [Uncanny Valley](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uncanny_Valley). ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515/35 "2005-10-11T06:51:40Z")
[Even more disturbing](http://elitemrp.net/cgi-bin/wiyg/page.pl?l1=I%27M+NOT+WEARING+ANY+PANTS) ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 10:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515/36 "2005-10-11T10:23:49Z")
[My minor contribution.](http://elitemrp.net/cgi-bin/wiyg/page.pl?l1=Would%20you%20touch%20my%20toasty%20buns%3F&clicked=yes) [Something completely different.](http://elitemrp.net/cgi-bin/iwtb/page.pl?l1=HAVE%20YOU%20SEEN&l2=THIS%20HUBCAP%3F&font=default&clicked=yes) ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515/37 "2005-10-11T10:54:35Z")
I wish they’d do one where the camera has the point of view of someone on the operating table. One by one members of the operating team pop into view, with the King the last to appear and wielding a scalpel. ---
**Author:** ![Eleusis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Eleusis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eleusis)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515/38 "2005-10-11T11:07:16Z")
> [@CynicalGabe](#): > > [Even more disturbing](http://elitemrp.net/cgi-bin/wiyg/page.pl?l1=I%27M+NOT+WEARING+ANY+PANTS) HA! Now that’s a good one…\ (O&^%$ hic ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515/39 "2005-10-11T12:30:12Z")
I guess I watch the wrong TV (sports & the Disaster channel mostly), but I’ve never seen one of these ads. ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515/40 "2005-10-11T12:34:15Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > And now for something [really disturbing…](http://elitemrp.net/cgi-bin/wiyg/page.pl?l1=I+must+have+Amazon+Floozy+Goddess+as+my+queen%21) That…was…the most horrible thing… You are a sick man. Sick and evil. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515.md?page=3)