# The Burger King is out to get me! I know it! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 10, 2005, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515 "2005-10-10T06:08:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![JimSox5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5a626/32.png) [@JimSox5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimSox5)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2006, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515/81 "2006-01-12T02:08:55Z")
> [@Amazon Floozy Goddess](#): > > I’d like to add, to everyone who supports the King, one day you’re gonna be walking through a dark place somewhere and he’s gonna jump out and hump your leg or something, and then run away leaving you in a crying heap with a mayonnaise stain on your new pants. And then you’re gonna come and cry about how the King violated you, and I’m just gonna say well yeah, I tried to warn you but did you listen? Nooooooooo! As long as he gives me a free sandwich, I’m cool with that. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2006, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515/82 "2006-01-12T02:18:10Z")
I’d just like to note that the Burger King is reason #5,317 to be a vegetarian. Which I am. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2006, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515/83 "2006-01-12T15:38:58Z")
> [@Loopydude](#): > > A contender is “Bob” from those Enzyte (“for Natural Male Enhancement”) commercials. Bob’s psychotic grin, coupled with the fact you know he’s wandering around with a giant, throbbing erection the whole time, certainly has given me a shudder or two. But nobody comes close to The King’s paradoxical beneficent skeevyness. All hail! Think what would happen if The King took Enzyte. :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Boulter\_s\_Canary](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Boulter\_s\_Canary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boulter_s_Canary)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515/84 "2006-01-13T10:43:03Z")
> [@3catshappy](#): > > **whoa!** > > Here in the UK we have had Burgerking for years,but Ihave never seen an advert > with _that_ face! > > Doesnt scare me though, just looks like your average member of the royal family 😃 Nah, it’s ears are too small. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515/85 "2006-03-07T16:34:22Z")
More horror. BK, I don’t know what I did to you to deserve this. But whatever it was, I’m very sorry. There’s a new commercial where the King pops up in a laundromat, hands a guy some sandwich, and then SPINS A PAIR OF TIGHTY-WHITIES AROUND HIS FINGER IN SLOW MOTION. It’s like the most horrible striptease on Earth. I would rather watch Ron Jeremy squeeze zits on his ass while he sings “Holy Diver”. I don’t WANT a reason to imagine what the crotch of the Burger King’s underwear is like. Stained, probably, with grease…_urrrrrrkk…_ ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515/86 "2006-03-07T16:48:16Z")
Sweet and sour Jesus, I’m laughing so hard at this thread, I literally almost fell out of my chair. And I agree. He’s a creepy mofo. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515/87 "2006-03-07T16:49:11Z")
:eek: **NO! NO!** :eek: ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515/88 "2006-03-07T18:09:47Z")
> [@Eleusis](#): > > Heh, my wife feels exactly the same way. She is absolutely creaped out, if not completely and irrationally terrified, of that… monster. > If she wasn’t pregnant I’d try to find a BK mask and just stand over her bed grinning until she woke up. > > Then again, probably not, that’s a good way to lose a testical or two. If my husband did that to me, he’d be missing more than just a testicle. The BK King is creepy. The construction one is just frightening. If that happened to me, I’d leap off the girder. The football endzone-dancing ones are really bad. You can see his tights, and all the way up his skirt. _::: shudder :::_ I don’t want to see that. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515/89 "2006-03-07T21:32:22Z")
> [@Amazon Floozy Goddess](#): > > If he were stabbed, what do you think would come out of him? > > Grease? Ketchup? > > Special sauce? No, his special sauce only comes out when he’s alone with the Dairy Queen. I’m so bad. ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2006, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515/90 "2006-03-08T03:44:04Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > No, his special sauce only comes out when he’s alone with the Dairy Queen. > > I’m so bad. If you weren’t all full of teh Tae Kwon Do, I’d whup ya good for even thinking about such a horrible image… :eek: ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2006, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515/91 "2006-03-08T03:50:21Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > No, his special sauce only comes out when he’s alone with the Dairy Queen. I don’t think the Burger King is into a Dairy Queen. I think he’s into little sheep. ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2006, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515/92 "2006-03-08T16:43:26Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > I don’t think the Burger King is into a Dairy Queen. > I think he’s into little sheep. **Hal** ’s got competition? ---
**Author:** ![mrklutz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ebca7d/32.png) [@mrklutz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrklutz)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515/93 "2006-03-09T03:26:50Z")
Ok. I’m probably going to hell for posting this, but I just can’t resist. Definitely NOT WORK SAFE. [http://www.thetravisty.com/Just\_Funny/wmv/Have\_It\_Your\_Way.htm](http://www.thetravisty.com/Just_Funny/wmv/Have_It_Your_Way.htm) Just the thing to haunt **AFG** ’s dreams. ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515/94 "2006-03-09T04:54:37Z")
> [@mrklutz](#): > > Ok. I’m probably going to hell for posting this, but I just can’t resist. Definitely NOT WORK SAFE. [Just Funny : Have It Your Way @ theTravisty](http://www.thetravisty.com/Just_Funny/wmv/Have_It_Your_Way.htm) > > Just the thing to haunt **AFG** ’s dreams. Whew! “Playback format not recognized!” Thank goodness… …It’s not like I followed your link by choice, you know…there were 2 BK employees here just a second ago. One had a gun to my head and the other had his hand clamped over mine, controlling the mouse. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515/95 "2006-03-09T05:35:30Z")
You guys think these ads are creepy? How about this instead? Picture it: borrowing the concept from that nearly as creepy hummer ad with the robot and the giant lizard procreating, they do an ad with the Burger King and the Quaker Oats Man. Since they’re both males some fancy science will be involved, but if you can cross a lizard and a robot, I’m sure this is do-able. The end of the ad will show the Burger Oats Baby, destroying the entire planet…just by looking at people! He won’t even need to offer you food to kill you. Now **that’s** damn creepy. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Swan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_Swan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Swan)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515/96 "2006-03-09T07:58:20Z")
This thread has close to 100 posts, and people are still wondering if this was a good ad campaign. Wonderful. “…But it doesn’t make me want to run out and buy a Wopper!” No kidding. That’s not what advertising is always about. ---
**Author:** ![mrklutz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ebca7d/32.png) [@mrklutz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrklutz)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515/97 "2006-03-09T15:28:49Z")
> [@Amazon Floozy Goddess](#): > > Whew! “Playback format not recognized!” Thank goodness… > > …It’s not like I followed your link by choice, you know…there were 2 BK employees here just a second ago. One had a gun to my head and the other had his hand clamped over mine, controlling the mouse. Huh. I’m surprised the sinister bastards didn’t force you to download the latest version of Windows Media Player so that you could see it properly. ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515/98 "2006-03-09T15:41:04Z")
> [@mrklutz](#): > > Huh. I’m surprised the sinister bastards didn’t force you to download the latest version of Windows Media Player so that you could see it properly. Oh, they just did, actually… \:eek: …and you are now officially my worst enemy. Sleep with one eye open. ---
**Author:** ![mrklutz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ebca7d/32.png) [@mrklutz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrklutz)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515/99 "2006-03-09T16:47:53Z")
> [@Amazon Floozy Goddess](#): > > Oh, they just did, actually… > > \:eek: > > …and you are now officially my worst enemy. Sleep with one eye open. 😃 My work here is done. Why yes, I _am_ one of those people who can’t resist pushing a big, red button. Why do you ask? ---
**Author:** ![Tupug\_Anachi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@Tupug\_Anachi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tupug_Anachi)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515/100 "2006-03-09T17:01:34Z")
> [@Amazon Floozy Goddess](#): > > \I would rather watch Ron Jeremy squeeze zits on his ass while he sings “Holy Diver”.\ **AFG** , you made me ruin my brand new iMac! Oh, well, I’m on company time. 😃 I swear, you’ve had some zingers in this thread but that one nearly made me pee my panties. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-burger-king-is-out-to-get-me-i-know-it/325515.md?page=4)