# The Byzantine Clique; Join me now! I can protect you just ask me how! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 12, 2000, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-byzantine-clique-join-me-now-i-can-protect-you-just-ask-me-how/29077 "2000-08-12T05:16:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2000, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-byzantine-clique-join-me-now-i-can-protect-you-just-ask-me-how/29077/81 "2000-08-12T19:19:54Z")
And Yes it did hurt… Like hell…But I feel so pretty Hey you gals sound just like my type of bitches… . and I mean that only in the nicest possible way. I am of the quasi-evil nympho bitch variety, can I still come and play. Besides I’m so new, You can get me young and bring me up right. ---
**Author:** ![Anti\_Pro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Anti\_Pro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anti_Pro)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2000, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-byzantine-clique-join-me-now-i-can-protect-you-just-ask-me-how/29077/82 "2000-08-12T19:48:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Byzantine \* > \*\* > So, my lovely, sexy pets… should we actively recruit? And who should we go after? We do want the creme da la creme… \*\* Frankly, I’m more marshmallow than ‘creme da la creme’ but I can TOAST marshmallows even if I don’t like to eat 'em! Does that count for something?? Puhlleeeeezzze lemme join too!!! Don’t make me beg, \*\* Byzzie, \*\* 'coz ya know I will! It \* isn’t \* pretty! ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2000, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-byzantine-clique-join-me-now-i-can-protect-you-just-ask-me-how/29077/83 "2000-08-12T19:56:42Z")
I want in ! I’ll bring my horrid spelling and worse grammer along with my killer personality. Oh yeah and those little packages of sugar they kept giving me in the hospital last week. ---
**Author:** ![Feynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecb155/32.png) [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2000, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-byzantine-clique-join-me-now-i-can-protect-you-just-ask-me-how/29077/84 "2000-08-12T22:12:55Z")
_looks out the back door…_ Who was that poor guy you threw out? Fyenn? Never seen him before but after enough liquor and sex one might think he looks like me although not nearly as handsome and man… that has got to hurt… Bear, its a good thing it wasn’t me, I would hate to get medieval on your ass… Oh, Byz… this robot’s head came off… _throws head_ Catch! _walks out…_ ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2000, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-byzantine-clique-join-me-now-i-can-protect-you-just-ask-me-how/29077/85 "2000-08-12T22:25:15Z")
\< techchick hands out the finger print reader to all in the clique with installation instructions \> Attention everyone, you must install these on your computers. Since we don’t want trolls or sockpuppets, you must use your finger print from now on to enter. You have the ability to enter up to three prints in your household. After that a secret code must be keyed in. If you post from public sources, we have a wireless retina reader that will verify you and the IP address you are posting from. They fit on your glasses (if you wear them) or an optional pair of glasses that are not prescription are included. Don’t worry they are the hippest in styles. If you need extras, you can get them at my cost, just cause I love ya’ all but a GPS system is located in it so we know that no one has stolen it. Don’t worry, your identities and movements remain top secret. Oh and the print reader doubles as a bubble gum machine so no one is the wiser. Damn we are a high tech bunch! ---
**Author:** ![CanadianSue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@CanadianSue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanadianSue)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2000, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-byzantine-clique-join-me-now-i-can-protect-you-just-ask-me-how/29077/86 "2000-08-12T23:18:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Byzantine \* > \*\*CanadianSue! Hey! Wanna be team director? What color of jackets should we get? I like earth tones myself but perhaps something striking like red and black? And I never knew HALF of what I knew until I met you! TWPM! \*\* Humbly slinking in, accepting the position, and reporting for duty ma’am. I think we should do earth tones. This group is striking enough without having to do anything else for them. Funny you should say that, I didn’t know half of what I know until I met you too. TWPM! Wow, I’m so excited. I’ve never really really been part of a clique before!! ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2000, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-byzantine-clique-join-me-now-i-can-protect-you-just-ask-me-how/29077/87 "2000-08-12T23:32:36Z")
> [@](#): > > Who was that poor guy you threw out? Fyenn? Never seen him before but after enough liquor and sex one might think he looks like me although not nearly as handsome and man… that has got to hurt LOL!! Aw shit! :::Runs outside to see if _Fyenn_ is ok::: [Dr. Claw]I’ll get you next time, Feynn. Next time!!![/Dr. Claw] :::Starts repairing robotic Richard Simmons::: This guy needed work anyway. The new robot will be much more aggressive!! ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2000, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-byzantine-clique-join-me-now-i-can-protect-you-just-ask-me-how/29077/88 "2000-08-13T01:14:47Z")
Is it too late to join? Oh, I’m supposed to say what I brought, right? _starts to look through Bag of Fun Stuff[sup]TM[/sup]_ I’ve got rum. And pizza. And some more rum. And beer. And a copy of _The Princess Bride_ on video. And this tote bag labeled Bag of Fun Stuff[sup]TM[/sup] that I found in a parking lot; it never seems to be empty and you never know what you’ll find in it. Quite often, there’s rum in there. ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2000, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-byzantine-clique-join-me-now-i-can-protect-you-just-ask-me-how/29077/89 "2000-08-13T01:59:38Z")
Kick Ass **Kat**!! Put in the video. I love that movie!! I need a break from getting flamed in the PIT anyway. Trying to handle two threads at once is hard stuff!!! ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Freddie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/82dd89/32.png) [@Queen\_Freddie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Freddie)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2000, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-byzantine-clique-join-me-now-i-can-protect-you-just-ask-me-how/29077/90 "2000-08-13T02:15:01Z")
Helloooooo fellow clique-ees. I’ve brought my vicious dogs with me to help keep the jealous masses outside. 😃 Funny, they weren’t frothing at the mouth last night… ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2000, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-byzantine-clique-join-me-now-i-can-protect-you-just-ask-me-how/29077/91 "2000-08-13T03:19:05Z")
Um . . I can be a real grammar/spelling/punctuation bitch, which gets people edgy so you can flame them to death. I also can have, from time to time, an ego that rivals the sun in its size and importance . . . that can also bug the fuck out of people, thus driving the flames away from you so’s you can avoid singing yourself and flame as much as you like. Plus I wanna be your friend. People who aren’t don’t seem to do very well here . . . ---
**Author:** ![poohpah\_chalupa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/91b2a8/32.png) [@poohpah\_chalupa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/poohpah_chalupa)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2000, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-byzantine-clique-join-me-now-i-can-protect-you-just-ask-me-how/29077/92 "2000-08-13T04:40:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Byzantine \* > \*\*poohpah chalupa – obedience is always good, hmmm, nice hands… And we do need more ice. What kind of casserole is that? \*\* The casserole itself, the basic ingredients of which include cream of mushroom soup and rice, is quite tasty. It is, however, particularly delicious when served, slightly warmer than room temperature, cradled in the small of a lover’s back on bare skin. …the best part is licking off the very last morsel. ::stirs casserole dish in anticipation:: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2000, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-byzantine-clique-join-me-now-i-can-protect-you-just-ask-me-how/29077/93 "2000-08-13T05:18:38Z")
**Byzantine** said: [quote] dropzone – yes, you can join. You bring a novelty [quote] Would that be an ice cream novelty, like a Popsicle, or a sexual novelty, like a dildo? Or something that can be used for both? ---
**Author:** ![Byzantine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dfb087/32.png) [@Byzantine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Byzantine)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2000, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-byzantine-clique-join-me-now-i-can-protect-you-just-ask-me-how/29077/94 "2000-08-13T18:44:29Z")
Althea – come right on in! Can you take a look at that blender? We’ve made so many drinks that I think we burned it out. mojo57 – Yippie yie yowch! Hey, those look like little door knockers… tap tap tap… someone get this bitch a drink! Anti Pro – YOU’RE one of the people I was going to actively recruit! And we can play the begging game later, when we’re alone… 😉 Ayesha – Hey baby! They sprung you huh? I guess you fooled them about your (I)mental(/I) health! Could you bend this spoon for me? techchick68 – cool! I feel like James Bond; but my chicks are better looking, and smarter! CanadianSue – me either! So get to work on those jakets. We can’t keep running around naked in here… or can we? 😉 Bear\_Nenno – have Althea help, she’s mechanically minded. Kat – It’s never too late! I just got busy yesterday so welcome! Hey, I like that bag! Cue up that movie and I’ll put that pizza in the oven. Do you want a glass for that rum? Bear\_Nenno – I haven’t been in there yet since I only have so much time and this is way more fun! I’ll go fight with everyone later. Queen Freddie – see? They already know who’s okay around here. iampunha – I’ve read about you. Hmm. Big ego? Spelling bitch? You’re starting to sound like me! You’re in! And it’s not that people who don’t like me don’t do well; it’s just that they were dinks in the first place… poohpah chalupa – oh my! (Fans self rapidly) how you do tempt me! dropzone – WOW! At this point I want to see some from column A B and C! ---
**Author:** ![sk8rixtx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/858c86/32.png) [@sk8rixtx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sk8rixtx)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2000, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-byzantine-clique-join-me-now-i-can-protect-you-just-ask-me-how/29077/95 "2000-08-13T18:59:13Z")
I have 30 pairs of nipple clamps, and 23 cardboard boxes in my basement. If I donate those can I join? ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2000, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-byzantine-clique-join-me-now-i-can-protect-you-just-ask-me-how/29077/96 "2000-08-13T19:27:09Z")
Sorry i haven’t been back, Byz. I was busy hostessing. I also took a moment to run up the ol’ charge card, and here’s what I’ve got: Tapered candles, in many shapes, colors, and sizes. You can either light them for ambience, or…well, you know. Ice cream sundae fixins. Use your imagination. Washcloths, towels, and several bars of soap. After you get done with the candles & sundae stuff, you may need them. Breath mints, chewing gum, and other assorted candies & munchies. Blank video tapes. Just in case. KY Jelly, hydrogen peroxide, and rubbing alcohol. The peroxide is just incase anyone decides to get any piercings, alcohol for rubdowns, and I assume you can figure out what to do with the KY. Okay, that maxed the card. But I’ll be making a payment in a day or two, so I can go shopping again. Anyone who’d like anything specific, just let me know! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2000, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-byzantine-clique-join-me-now-i-can-protect-you-just-ask-me-how/29077/97 "2000-08-13T20:40:50Z")
You know, I’ve only been here for a day, and I’m already starting to feel kinda dirty. Byz, you’re so corrupting. Hey Cristi, toss me some of dat soap. ---
**Author:** ![Sassy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@Sassy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sassy)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2000, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-byzantine-clique-join-me-now-i-can-protect-you-just-ask-me-how/29077/98 "2000-08-13T21:14:06Z")
EXcellent! Bear, you are doing a fine job. Let me know if you need any assistance… or company. Can’t have you getting unhappy! Persephone, darling, I need… ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2000, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-byzantine-clique-join-me-now-i-can-protect-you-just-ask-me-how/29077/99 "2000-08-13T21:33:24Z")
> [@](#): > > Kat – It’s never too late! I just got busy yesterday so welcome! Hey, I like that bag! Cue up that movie and I’ll put that pizza in the oven. Do you want a glass for that rum? _blinks_ Doesn’t everyone drink right from the bottle? Or is that just me? _slides in videotape and starts setting up bottles of rum_ ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2000, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-byzantine-clique-join-me-now-i-can-protect-you-just-ask-me-how/29077/100 "2000-08-14T03:08:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bear\_Nenno \* > \*\*Are you evil? A bitch? A jerk? A nympho?? > > We don’t just let anyone in here… \*\* Hey, I am all three! I am also always late to these things! Can I still join? I can bring a vast collection of my home-made scented oils, seductive music, soft pillows galore and an insatiable sexual appetite! Please, please, please, please, please!!! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-byzantine-clique-join-me-now-i-can-protect-you-just-ask-me-how/29077.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-byzantine-clique-join-me-now-i-can-protect-you-just-ask-me-how/29077.md?page=6)