# The Canadope Café, 2014 Edition: In 3-D! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 1, 2014, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-canadope-cafe-2014-edition-in-3-d/677612 "2014-01-01T05:07:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 30
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-canadope-cafe-2014-edition-in-3-d/677612/581 "2014-03-06T13:13:26Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > He doesn’t wear a seat belt either. ☹ > > ETA: I’ve mentioned both. He thinks he’s the greatest driver in the world, and he believes that if he dies he goes on to eternal bliss, utopia, whatever it’s called. I think for most religions, he’d lose points for bringing along unwilling guests… ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-canadope-cafe-2014-edition-in-3-d/677612/582 "2014-03-06T13:18:30Z")
> [@Spoons](#): > > From the “too ludicrous to be true” files, it appears that Canadian content in television extends even to porn channels: > > [Your porn is not Canadian enough, CRTC warns erotica channels](http://news.nationalpost.com/2014/03/05/your-porn-is-not-canadian-enough-crtc-warns-erotica-channels/). > > The obvious solution is to produce more porn, but how would it be indicated as Canadian? Maple leaf tattoos on a performer’s butt cheeks? Produce titles like “The Canadian Mountie and the Farm Girl?” Or we could play on anything that refers to _castor canadensis_? I can just see film titles like “Bilingual and Bisexual” or “Keystone XXXL”, or the Newfoundland classic “Debbie and Donny do Dildo”. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-canadope-cafe-2014-edition-in-3-d/677612/583 "2014-03-06T14:06:08Z")
> [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](#): > > … or the Newfoundland classic “Debbie and Donny do Dildo”. Thank you, **Le Ministre** ; my morning coffee now decorates my screen. Thank you again. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-canadope-cafe-2014-edition-in-3-d/677612/584 "2014-03-06T17:48:04Z")
> [@Cyros](#): > > So, a woman was [arrested](http://m.news919.com/2014/03/05/moncton-woman-in-custody-after-children-found-outside-in-bitterly-cold-temperatures/) the other day (released the next day and no charges laid yet) because her kids were out playing in the cold. The children were wearing proper outdoor attire for the weather (as evinced by the fact that they are not suffering frostbite after having been out for “some time”) but that wasn’t good enough for the nosy neighbours who just had to call police because they didn’t see a parent supervising the play. > > That situation was my worst nightmare a few years ago. My little one loved to go out and play and the weather didn’t matter at all (except for a blizzard, she didn’t like going out in high winds). I’d make sure she was dressed warmly and give frequent glances out our window to ensure she was ok but if my neighbours had been a bit more butinsky this could easily have been me. My wife still worries about sending our 8 year old out to the park alone (even though we have a clear view of the area from our back window). > > I can see being worried about the kid but if you must go out and talk to the kid first or knock on the parents door. There are things you can do before you call the police. Sheesh… my son is like that, when I make him out down the screens he will go and play for hours in the yard. At our old place he was the only kid outside all winter but in the summer there were packs of kids. We have yet to see what it will be like here though I do see some kids outside now and again, more than the old place this time of year. If the kid is dressed for the weather and happy as a lark I wouldn’t immediately jump to police but I always worried someone would. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-canadope-cafe-2014-edition-in-3-d/677612/585 "2014-03-06T18:26:21Z")
Calling the police because a child is playing outside, in full winter gear - that would have never, ever occurred to me. As you probably all know (since I talk about it all the time), I’m a winter walker, and I always assume that everyone else out there in the cold _also_ wants to be there, like I do. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-canadope-cafe-2014-edition-in-3-d/677612/586 "2014-03-06T18:34:27Z")
> [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](#): > > I can just see film titles like “Bilingual and Bisexual” or “Keystone XXXL”, or the Newfoundland classic “Debbie and Donny do Dildo”. “Torontorotica”! “Ménage à Trois au Québec”! “Saskatchewan and On and On and On”! “Albert(a) and Ernie”! “Polar Heat: He said no, but she was having Nunavut”! and the legendary X-rated version of :House of Commons Cafeteria"… ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Doom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Dr\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Doom)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-canadope-cafe-2014-edition-in-3-d/677612/587 "2014-03-06T18:59:53Z")
One of Canada’s greatest, and most beloved entertainment exports is [Peter North](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_North_(pornographer)). ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-canadope-cafe-2014-edition-in-3-d/677612/588 "2014-03-06T19:37:50Z")
And of course, we can’t restrict it to straight porn. How about: “Bob & Doug Take (It) Off!” ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Doom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Dr\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Doom)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-canadope-cafe-2014-edition-in-3-d/677612/589 "2014-03-06T20:22:44Z")
Bob and Doug McKenzie starring in “Hosers”. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-canadope-cafe-2014-edition-in-3-d/677612/590 "2014-03-06T20:35:54Z")
> [@Spoons](#): > > From the “too ludicrous to be true” files, it appears that Canadian content in television extends even to porn channels: > > [Your porn is not Canadian enough, CRTC warns erotica channels](http://news.nationalpost.com/2014/03/05/your-porn-is-not-canadian-enough-crtc-warns-erotica-channels/). > > The obvious solution is to produce more porn, but how would it be indicated as Canadian? Maple leaf tattoos on a performer’s butt cheeks? Produce titles like “The Canadian Mountie and the Farm Girl?” Or we could play on anything that refers to _castor canadensis_? Star some instantly-recognizable Canadian celebrities down on their luck, and interested in attention. I hear Mayor Rob Ford may be available … ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-canadope-cafe-2014-edition-in-3-d/677612/591 "2014-03-06T21:23:33Z")
> [@Dr\_Doom](#): > > One of Canada’s greatest, and most beloved entertainment exports is > > [Peter North](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_North_(pornographer)). I did not know that; thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-canadope-cafe-2014-edition-in-3-d/677612/592 "2014-03-06T21:35:42Z")
> [@Dr\_Doom](#): > > Bob and Doug McKenzie starring in “Hosers”. So…wrong! ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-canadope-cafe-2014-edition-in-3-d/677612/593 "2014-03-06T21:59:14Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > So…wrong! But oh so unforgettable… "Wearing nothing but a tuque and a smile, Bob carried the tray of coffee and donuts into the room. “Time to RRRoll up the RRRim!”… ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-canadope-cafe-2014-edition-in-3-d/677612/594 "2014-03-06T22:03:37Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > Star some instantly-recognizable Canadian celebrities down on their luck, and interested in attention. > > I hear Mayor Rob Ford may be available … Would people please, please, stop posting such speculations?!? Please? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-canadope-cafe-2014-edition-in-3-d/677612/595 "2014-03-06T22:10:01Z")
> [@Northern\_Piper](#): > > Would people please, please, stop posting such speculations?!? > > Please? > > :eek: But just think of the taglines … ‘You’ve seen the secret videos - now see Rob Ford like you’ve never seen him before!’ ‘Rob Ford - his oral skills are no longer merely a legend in his own mind!’ ‘Rob Ford sucking crack - not talkin’ about the drug!’ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-canadope-cafe-2014-edition-in-3-d/677612/596 "2014-03-06T22:16:31Z")
> [@Dr\_Doom](#): > > One of Canada’s greatest, and most beloved entertainment exports is > > [Peter North](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_North_(pornographer)). Truly, it is amazing what one learns on these boards. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-canadope-cafe-2014-edition-in-3-d/677612/597 "2014-03-06T22:34:03Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > But just think of the taglines … > > ‘You’ve seen the secret videos - now see Rob Ford like you’ve never seen him before!’ > > ‘Rob Ford - his oral skills are no longer merely a legend in his own mind!’ > > ‘Rob Ford sucking crack - not talkin’ about the drug!’ > > 😃 I’m trying to eat my lunch here! {Where’s that barfing smiley?} ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-canadope-cafe-2014-edition-in-3-d/677612/598 "2014-03-07T00:10:12Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > Star some instantly-recognizable Canadian celebrities down on their luck, and interested in attention. Brent Butt’s new x-rated show - Porner Gas… ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-canadope-cafe-2014-edition-in-3-d/677612/599 "2014-03-07T01:47:13Z")
> [@Northern\_Piper](#): > > Truly, it is amazing what one learns on these boards. Ain’t it though. ---
**Author:** ![LC\_Strawhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19adc/32.png) [@LC\_Strawhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LC_Strawhouse)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-canadope-cafe-2014-edition-in-3-d/677612/600 "2014-03-07T02:02:57Z")
> [@Spoons](#): > > From the “too ludicrous to be true” files, it appears that Canadian content in television extends even to porn channels: > > [Your porn is not Canadian enough, CRTC warns erotica channels](http://news.nationalpost.com/2014/03/05/your-porn-is-not-canadian-enough-crtc-warns-erotica-channels/). > > The obvious solution is to produce more porn, but how would it be indicated as Canadian? Maple leaf tattoos on a performer’s butt cheeks? Produce titles like “The Canadian Mountie and the Farm Girl?” Or we could play on anything that refers to _castor canadensis_? The plot: rich English factory bosses get together with Quebec farm girls. The title: “Money and Ethnics” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-canadope-cafe-2014-edition-in-3-d/677612.md?page=29) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-canadope-cafe-2014-edition-in-3-d/677612.md?page=31)