# The car ahead of me just paid for my Starbucks order **URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-car-ahead-of-me-just-paid-for-my-starbucks-order/824075 **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share **Created:** [November 6, 2018, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-car-ahead-of-me-just-paid-for-my-starbucks-order/824075 "2018-11-06T15:01:47Z") **Posts on this page:** 1 **Showing post:** 26
### Author: ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya) #### Post date: [November 6, 2018, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-car-ahead-of-me-just-paid-for-my-starbucks-order/824075/26 "2018-11-06T23:51:23Z")
> [@Novelty\_Bobble](#): > > Not quite sure how it creates a social interaction when you don’t leave your respective cars. It brings to consciousness in another person’s mind that they are not alone in a world of machinery; and that at the very least, not ALL of the machinery is out to get them. If you’ve not spent much time feeling alone or defensive of the universe, then you are truly blessed and it’s clear why such a gesture would be wasted on you. > [@Novelty\_Bobble](#): > > I have no need to reassess what a gift is. I’m clear that it should be something freely given with no expectation of reciprocation. If someone gives me a gift with any sort of obligation implied then I prefer not to receive it at all. Yep, that’s a gift alright. And until a giver, personally, tells you about an attached string you are right to assume there are none. > [@Novelty\_Bobble](#): > > I’ve never come across this phenomena it so wouldn’t know much about it, but someone upthread said you are supposed to do the same for the person behind you, if that is the case then clearly it is not a gift but very definitely an unrequested obligation. People who offer an outwardly selfless gift but expect any action from the recipient as a result are passive aggressive retards and are to be scorned if not destroyed entirely. > [@Novelty\_Bobble](#): > > You seem to suggest as much in that both you and your wife do feel somewhat obliged to do it for the next person so I’d question just how much of a purely altruistic process it is. No obligation is felt. It’s a game, that’s all. Play or don’t play, I don’t care. Seems dumb to get offended by someone else playing a game that has no negative consequence for you. If me or The Missus buy you a cup of coffee, all we’d expect is that you enjoy your coffee. We’d _hope_ your day is a little brighter/less lonely, but that is forever your own choice to make. > [@Novelty\_Bobble](#): > > The upshot of it is that if a line of 20 people all do the same thing you end up with one person very slightly poorer, one person very slightly richer and 18 smug people patting themselves on the back. A small act of kindness? possibly, getting close to negligible I think. It’s a game at that point. It’s like tossing a beach ball in a crowd. Yep, at the end someone is going to be down a beach ball, and someone is going to be up a beachball. Net losses and net gains are not the point. The point is that the ball was kept off the floor, and there is no consequence whatsoever if it drops. It’s just a quantumly small pastime that is less destructive than constructive. Makes some people feel good and there is really no downside. > [@needscoffee](#): > > I can see doing at the discount grocery store, or the Dollar Store, or some other potentially low-income store. But to gift a stranger in the drive-thru lane at an effing Starbucks seems roll-eye-making. If they needed money, they hopefully wouldn’t be in line at Starbucks. Some people get funny about receiving public charity. Back in the days when I got turned away at the checkstand in front of my kids, having to leave dinner in the cart as we returned home, I can’t say I would have met a stranger’s kind gesture with anything resembling grace. Pride’s a bitch, especially when it’s all you have. But again, this whole thing is not about helping anyone out financially in any meaningful way. It’s about camaraderie among strangers. At least one person in your community is not out for number one _all the time_. Man, that was wayyy too much effort. Play, don’t play, I don’t care. But keep your cynicism. --- _[View the full topic](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-car-ahead-of-me-just-paid-for-my-starbucks-order/824075)._