# The Cartoon You (a poll) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 31, 2003, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cartoon-you-a-poll/151856 "2003-01-31T14:14:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Roadwalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19b73/32.png) [@Roadwalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roadwalker)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cartoon-you-a-poll/151856/21 "2003-01-31T23:39:51Z")
I would look like Jonny Bravo. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cartoon-you-a-poll/151856/22 "2003-02-01T00:03:21Z")
Like [this](http://www.guanolad.com/images/guanolad.gif). ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cartoon-you-a-poll/151856/23 "2003-02-01T00:20:09Z")
I’d probably end up looking like a supporting character in a Jhonan Vasquez cartoon-Billowy coat, T-Shirt with an unabashed;y _strange_ logo/slogan on it, a mild facial disfiguration (with matching skin condition), and a personality problem the size of Montana. Not that that’s neccesarily a bad thing, mind you…::twitch:: ---
**Author:** ![garius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e19b73/32.png) [@garius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garius)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cartoon-you-a-poll/151856/24 "2003-02-01T01:20:08Z")
Its times like this that i wish i could draw. **Garius and XJET** ( issue one) **The Scene** : Ed and XJET have just interrupted a bank robbery. Twelve thugs have swung round and pointed their machine guns at our hero and heroine. _Frame One. Hero/heroine silhouetted in door of bank. barrels of many guns visible round edge of frame. sound effect text indicates cocking of weapons (“click”)_ Garius: _sigh_ Every time i want to get cash out this happens. Why me?? XJET: Can i kill them boss?! Can I?! Garius: Easy tiger! No not yet. Lets at least give them a chance to explain themselves. _Frame Two. Frontal profile of lead bad guy. Scarred and evil - not nice chap_ Lead bad guy: Who the hell are you?? Get down on the floor now!!! _Frame three. Shot of hero and heroine again. Gun barrels still in sight_ Garius: To be honest i’d rather not. This coat was expensive and not being funny, but that floor looks kind of dirty. _Frame Four. Frontal profile of lead bad guy again. Scarred and evil - not nice chap. Now looks angry_ Lead Bad Guy: Get down on the floor! that goes for you too bitch! Or do you want me to teach you a lesson in obedience?? _Frame Five. XJET looking up at Garius. She looks seriously pissed off._ XJET: Okay NOW can i kill them?? Garius: by all means. _Frames six, seven eight, nine, ten, eleven and twelve - images of XJET getting medieval on bad guys kung fu style. Garius visible in background leaning against wall doing nothing. XJET wins and knocks out baddies including boss. Garius picks up phone and calls cops._ _Frame thirteen. Side profile of XJET looking worn out. Garius visible in background._ XJET: God i needed that. Garius: I could tell. _Frame fourteen. Our heroic pair are leaving bank arm in arm._ XJET: We should do that more often. It was fun! Garius: For you maybe, personally i think there are better ways and reasons for bank robbery. XJET: maybe we could buy a watch for him? Garius (Looking smug) : i need the best and expensive turkey anyone ever cooked! God: Okay. But thats it - you can’t for anything more. Including those retro clocks XJET: But it will take ages! Garius: patience, my dear, is a virtue… THE END ---
**Author:** ![Paper\_Geek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9de053/32.png) [@Paper\_Geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paper_Geek)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cartoon-you-a-poll/151856/25 "2003-02-01T05:25:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by garius \* > -Clip story- > \*\* Interestingly enough, in real life the bank takes unkindly to being rescued and bans you from that branch. Er, not speaking from _direct_ experience… -C ---
**Author:** ![dwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dwyr/32/363_2.png) [@dwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwyr)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cartoon-you-a-poll/151856/26 "2003-02-01T07:38:39Z")
A concord grape-colored whale, wearing glasses and clogs. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cartoon-you-a-poll/151856/27 "2003-02-01T08:26:03Z")
I would have spikey hair and a freind named Hobbes. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cartoon-you-a-poll/151856/28 "2003-02-01T10:39:46Z")
Basically I’d be wearing khaki trousers and a green Columbia outdoor shirt and an Orvis hunting jacket. ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cartoon-you-a-poll/151856/29 "2003-02-01T10:48:27Z")
I’ve put a lot of thought into this and I think I’d end up being a housecat. A fairly large one with grey fur, long whiskers, big tufts of fur on my neck, ear tufts and a great fondness for the top of the TV where my tail would drape down in front of the screen. I would probably be tormented by the evil little mice of R.A.T.S. (the Rodent Action Terror Society) who want nothing more then to keep me from sleep and kill all cats. Each episode would probably end up with me eating one of them to get them to stop for awhile. This despite the fact that their cold little feet freak me out as they go down. _shudder_ Imagine that, I’m just a co-star in my own series. ---
**Author:** ![flickerwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/13edae/32.png) [@flickerwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flickerwolf)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cartoon-you-a-poll/151856/30 "2003-02-01T10:51:45Z")
An anthropomorphic bipedal canid in army boots, blue jeans worn down to the brink of oblivion, and a tye-dyed poncho. Or something. ---
**Author:** ![Flowerchild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/858c86/32.png) [@Flowerchild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flowerchild)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cartoon-you-a-poll/151856/31 "2003-02-01T16:57:49Z")
Something like this [http://www.tvtome.com/Daria/](http://www.tvtome.com/Daria/) second from the right, next to the girl in pink. ---
**Author:** ![Mirror\_Image\_egamI\_rorriM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e56c9b/32.png) [@Mirror\_Image\_egamI\_rorriM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mirror_Image_egamI_rorriM)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cartoon-you-a-poll/151856/32 "2003-02-01T18:58:18Z")
Wow…last year, I would have worn a pleated plaid skirt, a white polo shirt, black tights, glasses, and sensible black heels…oh, wait, I did wear that everyday. Stupid uniforms. Never mind. Now, I’d wear a pair of beat up, baggy jeans with white, purple and green piping down the sides, a red t-shirt with “E=mc2” across the front in black, burgundy and white platform sneakers, and a patchwork silk jacket. And I’d carry around a grey backpack with all kinds of stuff in it. That’d be my trademark gag. I’d pull whatever was needed to save the day out of my bag. Pliers? A flashlight? A copy of the Aeneid? A espresso machine? Got it all! ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cartoon-you-a-poll/151856/33 "2003-02-01T21:39:30Z")
I’m torn between an anthropomorphic blue-jean-wearing cat and a giant blue and purple dragon. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2003, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cartoon-you-a-poll/151856/34 "2003-02-02T04:52:23Z")
Tough question. It depends. There’s what I’d like to be, and what I’d probably be:[ul] [li]A rumpled prospector-looking sort elf with a small pot-belly, a weathered wide-brimmed hat, and a phat blunt. I’d have a brown suede possibles bag with some magic dust, a huge bag of P[sup]2[/sup], waterproof matches, a pipe, and a bota bag full of Shiraz. Maybe a few neccessities. And a single-action Colt .45. I’d wear sandals and carry a shellaleigh. I’d go by the name Doobie Keebler.[/li]A very sad potatoe on a couch. Yep, that’s with an “e”. That’s how sad of a potato I’d be.[/ul] ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2003, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cartoon-you-a-poll/151856/35 "2003-02-02T06:20:52Z")
Good question, **Rue**! I’d have to go with the following: First of all, I’d be a roughly 19-year old human male. And I’d be wearing a Cubs baseball hat, a pair of regular-fitting Levi’s, a Superman cape (complete with the symbol. No knock-off for me), a pair of hiking boots, and a black t-shirt with a blue button-up long sleeve over it. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2003, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cartoon-you-a-poll/151856/36 "2003-02-02T08:57:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by js\_africanus \* > **and a phat blunt.** Sounds uncomfortable. ---
**Author:** ![Already\_in\_Use](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@Already\_in\_Use](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Already_in_Use)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2003, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cartoon-you-a-poll/151856/37 "2003-02-02T12:27:39Z")
I’m not all that into anime, but a friend informed me that in real life, I look a lot like [Quatre](http://www.anime.com.au/artist/mab/characters/quatre.jpg) from Gundam Wing. If I had to choose, maybe I’d be a top hat-wearing walrus. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2003, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cartoon-you-a-poll/151856/38 "2003-02-02T14:30:11Z")
OK, I’m changing. I’d be a fur wearing, strangly proportiond Dr Suess-like thing-a-ma-bob with a Dr Who-like 12’ scarf and a pith helmet. I would also be in cowboy boots, since I am most of the time now… ---
**Author:** ![NardoPolo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecae2f/32.png) [@NardoPolo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NardoPolo)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2003, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cartoon-you-a-poll/151856/39 "2003-02-02T16:35:12Z")
I’d have a dark blue uniform with knee boots, a 3-pointed hat, shoulder tassles, a utility belt (_no, wait: utility suspenders! How cool is that!_) and a cape that flaps magestically even when there’s no breeze. And an eyes-half-closed look that exudes confidence and poise. I’d stand around with my hands on my hips a lot looking like this: :dubious: Either that or a maroon-colored squid with comfortable shoes and plans to conquer the world. Leaving a trail of slime wherever I go… But I’ll always be jealous of **NoClueBoy** ’s 12’ scarf. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2003, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cartoon-you-a-poll/151856/40 "2003-02-02T16:44:29Z")
I would be Plush Cthulhu! [http://www.logicalcreativity.com/jon/plush/01.html](http://www.logicalcreativity.com/jon/plush/01.html) All hail your plush lord and master! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cartoon-you-a-poll/151856.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cartoon-you-a-poll/151856.md?page=3)