# The Cecil Adams Pit Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 13, 2003, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cecil-adams-pit-thread/168505 "2003-04-13T22:04:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![bobcatcher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/97f17d/32.png) [@bobcatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobcatcher)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cecil-adams-pit-thread/168505/61 "2003-04-14T10:50:09Z")
[http://www.yournotme.com/](http://www.yournotme.com/) _There are **22** People with the name Cecil Adams. You are rarer than a wombats wing nut._ So somewhere a Cecil Adams **does** exist. ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cecil-adams-pit-thread/168505/62 "2003-04-14T13:09:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Doc Nickel \* > \*\*Perhaps we can “pit” Anubis, or Odin, or a wood-elf next. > > \*\* You don’t want any of this-- trust me. Last person to Pit a wood-elf [shudders] I can’t even describe it. . . ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cecil-adams-pit-thread/168505/63 "2003-04-14T13:14:54Z")
It occurs to me that Geraldo is currently at liberty. In Search of? ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cecil-adams-pit-thread/168505/64 "2003-04-14T13:15:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by leander \* > \*\ ***tomndebb** , was that really the best your wee brain could do? Silly, flowery hyperbole? > > I would have expected more from someone with such an aggrandized sense of intellectual purpose. > > Ah well. Not surprising. Fighting ignorance must go on… \*\* This that the best _you_ can do? Vague personal insults and a pompous self-important load of tripe? I suggest the mirror for that fight on ignorance buddy. And, by the way, this is **exactly** what we expect out of you. Thanks for lowering the bar of our already low expectations of you. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Zenham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a5b964/32.png) [@Zenham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenham)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cecil-adams-pit-thread/168505/65 "2003-04-14T14:03:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elf6c \* > **Vague personal insults and a pompous self-important load of tripe? I suggest the mirror for that fight on ignorance buddy.** Is that the best you can do, you semi-quavering post-hypnotic troll-motor? You masticating sack of epidermal casement, you short-order tergiversative femoral sump-pumper… you should be variegated, or worse. ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cecil-adams-pit-thread/168505/66 "2003-04-14T14:43:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Vanilla Toast \* > \*\*Is that the best you can do, you semi-quavering post-hypnotic troll-motor? You masticating sack of epidermal casement, you short-order tergiversative femoral sump-pumper… you should be variegated, or worse. \*\* 😃 Awesome. It kind of looks like a Bablefish version of English to Pit. ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cecil-adams-pit-thread/168505/67 "2003-04-14T15:03:40Z")
I met a one eyed Uzbek in a bar in Manilla back in '74. Deep in the grip of opium and fermented mare’s milk, he clutched my arm and told me he’d seen Cecil Adams. He drew a deep breath to reveal more, but then the lights went out. When they came back on again, he was dead, a strangely curved knife protruding from his back and a single antelope horn tucked neatly into his collar. There are some things we were not meant to know. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cecil-adams-pit-thread/168505/68 "2003-04-14T15:07:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scylla \* > \*\*This board, dedicated to the **Perfect Master** or the **Partisan Hack** depending on your viewpoint has been around for quite some time. To the best of my knowledge he has never been pitted. This thread’s appearance, immediately after a Cecil column describing the facts behind G.W. Bush’s AWOL record, cannot be a coincidence. There can be little doubt as to which of the 2 bolded options the OP accepts as Truth. It is curious, though, how a Cecil column, or any other material can be dismissed as partisan hackery primarily on the basis of its subject matter, not on its factuality. But some ignorance is simply obstinate, isn’t it? Nobody gets in to see Cecil, not nobody, not no how! ---
**Author:** ![december](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/838e76/32.png) [@december](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/december)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cecil-adams-pit-thread/168505/69 "2003-04-14T15:12:59Z")
I used to imagine that **Scylla** Was mild and meek and vanilla. …But he’s started to wrestle …The wisdom of **Cecil** – An eight hundred ten pound gorilla! ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cecil-adams-pit-thread/168505/70 "2003-04-14T15:51:43Z")
I respond to those disbelievers in Cecil the same way I respond to disbelievers in God. Sure, he may not exist. I could be wrong in believing that he does, and you could be right in believing that he doesn’t. If I’m wrong, it doesn’t affect me one whit. But if _you’re_ wrong … brother, I wouldn’t want to be you when all is said and done. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cecil-adams-pit-thread/168505/71 "2003-04-14T15:54:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by leander \* > \*\ ***tomndebb** , was that really the best your wee brain could do? Silly, flowery hyperbole? > > I would have expected more from someone with such an aggrandized sense of intellectual purpose. > > Ah well. Not surprising. Fighting ignorance must go on… \*\* Umm… leander I think you have wooshed yourself in the wooshiest and most embarrassing fashion possible. You missed the obvious historical reference and the joke embedded in Tom’s post in one fell swoop and then soiled your diaper with a cluelessly snarky comment. Baaaaddd baby! ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cecil-adams-pit-thread/168505/72 "2003-04-14T16:25:46Z")
- _suddenly questioning her oldest, dearest, and most firmly held beliefs_ \* But, the Easter Bunny’s still real, right? **tears of self-doubt and lost innocence** ---
**Author:** ![chorpler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chorpler/32/2888_2.png) [@chorpler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chorpler)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cecil-adams-pit-thread/168505/73 "2003-04-14T16:37:33Z")
I always thought Cecil Adams was a real person until I read the last thread on this subject, and read the trademark thing that says “Cecil Adams is a fanciful name” or whatever, at which point doubts crept in. But assuming for the moment that he isn’t a real person, who is it, then, that posts here under the username Cecil Adams, who recently related the details behind two comments (the “almost took out the side of a building with a crane” comment and the “facing the wrong end of a six-shooter” comment) from columns published in the books? Clearly, unless said stories were completely made up to fit the comments in the columns, there is, at the very least, an individual who writes under the name Cecil Adams, whose personal stories and viewpoints we have all grown to love. The only mystery is this person’s true identity – is it it actually a guy named Cecil Adams, or is it Ed Zotti in disguise, or perhaps even God himself in human form? We may never know. ---
**Author:** ![Largo62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@Largo62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Largo62)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cecil-adams-pit-thread/168505/74 "2003-04-14T16:47:02Z")
Actually, didn’t Cecil Adams appear soon after _Time For Beany_ was cancelled and Cecil the seasick sea serpent found himself out of work? We know that Beany lost the propeller hat and took up news-anchoring as Ted Koppel. And you know Cecil wouldn’t get seasick in Chicago. I mean, think about it, has anyone ever seen the two of them together? ---
**Author:** ![Edward\_The\_Head](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ce73a5/32.png) [@Edward\_The\_Head](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edward_The_Head)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cecil-adams-pit-thread/168505/75 "2003-04-14T19:00:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by 2trew \* > \*\*I met a one eyed Uzbek in a bar in Manilla back in '74. Deep in the grip of opium and fermented mare’s milk, he clutched my arm and told me he’d seen Cecil Adams. He drew a deep breath to reveal more, but then the lights went out. > > When they came back on again, he was dead, a strangely curved knife protruding from his back and a single antelope horn tucked neatly into his collar. > > There are some things we were not meant to know. \*\* No, it was only a flesh wound, I healed fine after that. The eyepiece was a disguise that I thought would work well. I did suffer from a lot of blood loss though and you could have helped out you bastard. Now if you’ll excuse me I must be going, _they_ are coming. ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cecil-adams-pit-thread/168505/76 "2003-04-14T19:04:13Z")
Look, you said you were dead, and I’m alergic to antelope anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Edward\_The\_Head](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ce73a5/32.png) [@Edward\_The\_Head](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edward_The_Head)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cecil-adams-pit-thread/168505/77 "2003-04-14T19:15:37Z")
I know I said I was dead, but I was just trying to confuse _them_. It was a nice looking knofe though, I got loads for it on eBay. ---
**Author:** ![Edward\_The\_Head](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ce73a5/32.png) [@Edward\_The\_Head](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edward_The_Head)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cecil-adams-pit-thread/168505/78 "2003-04-14T19:16:13Z")
I know I said I was dead, but I was just trying to confuse _them_. It was a nice looking knife though, I got loads for it on eBay. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cecil-adams-pit-thread/168505/79 "2003-04-14T20:18:46Z")
Look, if Cecil Adams is really Ed Zotti, then that means Ed’s got a sock puppet. If so, he’s violating board rules, and both the Ed and Cecil usernames should be banned by now. They’re not banned, ergo Ed and Cecil are two seperate people. Unless, of course Ed/Cecil thinks he’s above the law, in which case he’s a jack-booted anarchist pinko fascist nazi with cole slaw in his underpants. But then again, no one’s ever proclaimed this place to be a democratic republic. So, in short-- who cares. The only beef I have with Cecil Adams is that I once asked him when his birthday was, and he never told me. Happy ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cecil-adams-pit-thread/168505/80 "2003-04-14T20:33:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by zoogirl \* > \*\*I just want to post on this thread in case He shows up. I was on a thread once, one of Esprix’s I think, where He actually POSTED! > > I’m still shaking. \*\* Feh. Cecil responded to my [very first post ever](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=635&highlight=marriage). For some reason my name is off the original post but there are ample references back to me as the OP. Including, I find upon re-reading the thread some three years later, responses from **Monty** which indicate he had a hard-on for me, if not from day one, then from day three. That, however, is an issue for another thread and another day. In summary, I do believe in Cecil and I do believe that Cecil, in his original column and his response to my thread, is wrong. So I’m not sure where that puts me on the hetetic/blasphemer meter. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cecil-adams-pit-thread/168505.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cecil-adams-pit-thread/168505.md?page=5)