# The Chair of Ultimate Power! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 14, 2000, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193 "2000-09-14T15:58:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193/1 "2000-09-14T15:58:25Z")
Last year I got my Mitsubishi large screen TV, but yesterday my entertainment center was made complete! They delivered the Chair of Ultimate Power!!! The C.U.P. is a huge lime green leather LaZy Boy. It reclines of course in a very comfy fashion. Underneath one armrest is the Massage Controller (O’ Doom.) Behold 10 different massage motors, cunningly programmed and programmable for maximum relaxation. Intensity, Frequency, Swell, Speed, Zone, Sequence. All these are mine to comand! In front of the controller of course is my caller ID phone. It is built into the chair so that I never need search for the handheld unit. I have the power to decide whether to answer your call or not and… I don’t even have to get up! But wait. What is this under the other armrest? Can it be? Oh yes!!! A refrigerator!!! Icy cold and big enough for a six-pack and a sandwich. I need never get up again. With my chair and my TV I shall rule the world! Bow down before me. Bwaaaa ha ha! I’m better than you all! Burn in envy fools!!! ---
**Author:** ![Homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193/2 "2000-09-14T16:08:15Z")
I wept while reading this. –Tim ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193/3 "2000-09-14T16:13:59Z")
Like Homer, a tear was brought to my eye. That must truely be a thing of beauty. Is this a real chair (does heaven really exist on earth)? Or a chair you had a dream about last night? A chair with a built in refrigerator. Oh god… thats nearly orgasmic! ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193/4 "2000-09-14T16:15:29Z")
Oh, it’s real all right! And it’s mine! All mine! Hahahahahahahahahahahah! ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193/5 "2000-09-14T16:16:57Z")
Oh yeah? Well I just got a Sony Wega flat-screen ultra-black surround-sound… Caller ID AND a fridge? I bow to you, O mighty one. Please use this chair only for good, not evil. And, yes, I’m aware of the fact that my fancy new TV will be obsolete with the coming of HDTV, and I DON’T CARE!!! ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193/6 "2000-09-14T16:19:29Z")
Scylla, I now officially envy you and the chair. Actually, just the chair. ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193/7 "2000-09-14T16:28:32Z")
But does the chair have a built-in remote? I mean, you’ll still have to get off your ass if you leave it somewhere. MR ---
**Author:** ![ReservoirDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8edcca/32.png) [@ReservoirDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReservoirDog)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193/8 "2000-09-14T16:30:40Z")
I sit on a small tumbling mat on the floor, watching my 9" black and white television with a pair of binoculars. At least I still have my ColecoVision for entertainment. ---
**Author:** ![KimKatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ac91a4/32.png) [@KimKatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KimKatt)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193/9 "2000-09-14T16:31:59Z")
Lime Green? ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193/10 "2000-09-14T16:39:15Z")
How do you flush it? And I certainly hope it’s not one of those new chickenshit low-flows. ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193/11 "2000-09-14T16:40:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KimKatt \* > \*\*Lime Green? \*\* Leave it to the wimmins to fixate on the color! Did you not hear the FEATURES?!?! :rolleyes: 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193/12 "2000-09-14T16:41:52Z")
A dapper young Doper named Scylla Introduced a new throne to his villa. He ate pretzels and beer Viewed _Baywatch_ with a leer As it hugged him close as a gorilla. Wow! Some poets are inspired by sunsets or absinthe or beautiful women, but **Scylla** seems to do the trick for me! I think I’ll try a sestina next… ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Kumquat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193/13 "2000-09-14T16:41:52Z")
Where did you order it from? I covet… ---
**Author:** ![Simetra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Simetra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simetra)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193/14 "2000-09-14T16:59:36Z")
A chair of power. Sitting in it makes you God. Sorry it don’t flush. Simetra want bad! If it had a swivel arm with my 22 inch flat panel monitor, a tower case strapped to the back, mouse pad on one arm and another swivel for a keyboard… Oh dear Lord. My muscles would atrophy. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193/15 "2000-09-14T17:03:54Z")
\ boys and their toys… but (to echo Kim) LIME GREEN?!?!?!? ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193/16 "2000-09-14T17:07:23Z")
I agree with Simetra: it isn’t complete unless you can post from it. If you were sitting in some other, much _less_ comfortable chair while you were telling us of the C.U.P., then I’m afraid it’s merely Penultimate. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Corrado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a88e4f/32.png) [@John\_Corrado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Corrado)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193/17 "2000-09-14T17:12:35Z")
Lime-green. Brilliant strategy, Scylla; the awful color will drive away all women with their ‘fashion sense’ and ‘color scheme’ and ‘absolute lack of tackiness’, thus ensuring that you need never fight the wife or the daughter for possession of your mighty throne. Masterful. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Zero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193/18 "2000-09-14T17:23:26Z")
Wow. I’m impressed. Amazing. :swoon: ---
**Author:** ![fierra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58956e/32.png) [@fierra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fierra)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193/19 "2000-09-14T17:27:01Z")
I’m gonna have to call you Joey from now on - so how YOU doin’? ---
**Author:** ![tevya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4491bb/32.png) [@tevya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tevya)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193/20 "2000-09-14T17:44:31Z")
I feel the need to speak for those of my gender who are not ruled by fashion. I don’t care if the chair is safety orange. It sounds heavenly! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193.md?page=2)