# The Chair of Ultimate Power! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 14, 2000, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193 "2000-09-14T15:58:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Aglarond](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@Aglarond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aglarond)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193/21 "2000-09-14T17:45:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KimKatt \* > \*\*Lime Green? \*\* I second that. What’s up with the color? ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193/22 "2000-09-14T17:58:38Z")
Here’s a link [http://www.webamation.com/lazyboy/519.htm](http://www.webamation.com/lazyboy/519.htm) Ahem. The CUP is very tasteful in lime green leather. Trust me. If you don’t like it, it means you have no taste and are not worthy. I had to drill holes in the floor to run the wiring. It needs two outlets and a phone line. OF COURSE you can plug your laptop into the phone jack, while leaning back, watching Baywatch (or Wrestling,) eating a Liverwurst and onion sandwich on rye bread with swiss cheese and mustard(jalapeno potato chips on the side,) and drinking an ice cold St. Pauli Girl beer, then log onto the SDMB, but I’m afraid to try it. How much pleasure can a mere mortal withstand? Would I die, my face contorted into a rictus of absolute relaxation? I vote this is made the official chair of the SDMB. (You can buy or order it at any Lazyboy dealer.) Did I mention the massager also has heat? Oh, my cup runneth over! ---
**Author:** ![ponch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bcef8e/32.png) [@ponch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ponch)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193/23 "2000-09-14T18:17:14Z")
☹ ☹ ☹ my ass is so incredibly jealous. ---
**Author:** ![SSgtBaloo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@SSgtBaloo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSgtBaloo)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193/24 "2000-09-14T18:19:08Z")
So you’re saying it _doesn’t_ have a built-in toilet? Eat a low-fiber diet. That way you won’t have to get up as often. I suppose you could rig a relief tube as well, if the wife will let you (somehow they aren’t always very understanding about these things). ~~Baloo ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193/25 "2000-09-14T18:21:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Baloo \* > **I suppose you could rig a relief tube as well, if the wife will let you (somehow they aren’t always very understanding about these things).** Tell 'er her alternative is emptying the bucket. ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193/26 "2000-09-14T20:27:08Z")
Ode to Scylla and His Throne, in a Complex Metre Scylla’s wife went into the kitchen, ‘Cause he was tired of all of her bitchin’, She won’t leave him alone When he felches up the phone And only moves when his crack burns with itchin’. ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193/27 "2000-09-14T20:43:48Z")
Only in America. Is this the chair your going to be buried in? It’ll save on the coffin! ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2000, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193/28 "2000-09-15T01:14:03Z")
does it rock? ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2000, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193/29 "2000-09-15T01:40:45Z")
Bunnygirl: In America, A COOL country, the chair is high art. Although I suppose if you come from a country of tight-asses it would probably be hard to appreciate. This Chair is What makes America Great, dammit. Bah! I waste my time with you. Go sit on a bicycle. Just remove the seat first. Then you’ll know what you’re missing! rocking chair: Oc course it rocks. Duuuuh. ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2000, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193/30 "2000-09-15T01:55:16Z")
Scylla, I am nearly in tears reading this. Here I sit, in my wooden, contoured, hard-ass cramp-causing chair, wretchedly typing while nursing a bachache, and you sit on what I can only imagine is the chair God has in His living room. Truly, YOU are the King of Chairs. ---
**Author:** ![Mirth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Mirth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mirth)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2000, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193/31 "2000-09-15T06:14:59Z")
Anyone else see that episode of The Tick? He’s trapped in The Most Comfortable Chair In The World. ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2000, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193/32 "2000-09-15T06:19:11Z")
**The real test** Have you fallen asleep in it yet?? If yes, how long were you able to sleep with a wimmins bitchin’ for you to get up outta there?? Could you not even tell it was bitchin? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2000, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193/33 "2000-09-15T13:58:28Z")
I assume he went for Model 682-M. When a female-pitched voice begins to nag, sensitive microphones pick up the sound, and a mechanical arm comes out of the top and clamps earmuffs on your head. Model 682-M ONLY comes in Lime Green, so quit picking on **Scylla’s** color choices. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2000, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193/34 "2000-09-15T22:57:36Z")
I’m in it now. ---
**Author:** ![Dark\_Lord\_Davidson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bc8723/32.png) [@Dark\_Lord\_Davidson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Lord_Davidson)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2000, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193/35 "2000-09-15T23:12:41Z")
I hear that they now make a variation of this chair…with wheels. God help us all. ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2000, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193/36 "2000-09-15T23:25:04Z")
So, the Graille _does_ exist. And you have it. Fucker. And I thought my five CD player with remote was the shit. ☹ \< Bows down before you \> ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2000, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193/37 "2000-09-15T23:54:09Z")
I don’t understand how they could make one with wheels since it needs three different plugs and wires and a couple of transformers. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2000, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193/38 "2000-09-16T00:15:38Z")
Having just consulted _personally_ with **Dubya** , there remains a concensus that the **Chair of Ultimate Power** is “Old Sparky” the electric chair. However, I will admit that my buns twitch just reading about this wondrous appurtenance. ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2000, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193/39 "2000-09-16T00:22:45Z")
i see you misunderstood my rock question. i then went to the website you posted. i now understand that the chair is a stationary recliner, not a rocker/recliner. rock on metaphysically. your chair sounds wonderful. ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2000, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193/40 "2000-09-16T01:03:04Z")
Somehow, this song just seemed appropriate… > [@](#): > > “Lazy Boy,” by Moxy Fruvous > > I have a life of pleasure > I am submerged in armchair leisure > I put my feet on the ottoman empire! > Here in a world of turmoil > I have my comfort in control > And the answer’s reclining - it’s obvious > > Chorus: > Here I sit and here I say (the lazy boy) > “Hello to U.S.A. today!” (the lazy boy) > Dollywood and Billy Ray (the lazy boy) > A place to pass the time away (the lazy boy) > > Here I keep tabs on Euro-stocks > I have a stereo that rocks! > And I take calls in the bathtub - it’s cellular > There is a console to my right > With reruns of Charlie’s Angels every night > I can’t keep track of the blond one - the third one > > Here I sit and here I say (the lazy boy) > “Hello to U.S.A. today!” (the lazy boy) > Dollywood and Billy Ray (the lazy boy) > A place to pass the time away (the lazy boy) > > At the end of the day it’s the chair I trust > The cushion is comfy and the works don’t rust > With a straight line of vision to my Elvis bust > Watch the kingdom, eat the bread crust > Fine all the time is the way I feel > Cracking the code of the “Let’s make a deal!” > I can change my world 'cause my boy’s on wheels > Improve your lifestyle, you must get real! > > I was a down and out Canuck > Now I have put my faith in lazy luck > Since they removed all the barriers - 49th parallel > > Here I sit and here I say (the lazy boy) > “Hello to U.S.A. today!” (the lazy boy) > Dollywood and Billy Ray (the lazy boy) > A place to pass the time away (the lazy boy) 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-chair-of-ultimate-power/33193.md?page=3)