# The Cheese Gods decree you only get two for the rest of your life... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 1, 2010, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheese-gods-decree-you-only-get-two-for-the-rest-of-your-life/559051 "2010-11-01T04:03:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2010, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheese-gods-decree-you-only-get-two-for-the-rest-of-your-life/559051/61 "2010-11-02T01:28:52Z")
Does Huntsman count as one cheese or two? If it counts as one, I’ll take Huntsman and Swiss. Otherwise, I’ll go with sharp cheddar and Swiss. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2010, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheese-gods-decree-you-only-get-two-for-the-rest-of-your-life/559051/62 "2010-11-02T01:31:22Z")
Brie and Montgomery’s Cheddar from Neal’s Yard. I’d like some toasted slivered almonds, too, please. And a red silk pear. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_in\_second\_hand\_clothing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9d8465/32.png) [@wolf\_in\_second\_hand\_clothing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_in_second_hand_clothing)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2010, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheese-gods-decree-you-only-get-two-for-the-rest-of-your-life/559051/63 "2010-11-02T02:31:45Z")
Mozzarella and Swiss. If I can make pizza and patty melts, I’ll probably be good. I could probably use them in other burgers and to melt in my chilli, and I’d pretty much have all of my cheese uses covered. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2010, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheese-gods-decree-you-only-get-two-for-the-rest-of-your-life/559051/64 "2010-11-02T02:37:47Z")
Damn you, cheese gods, damn you. I chose cream and muenster, but I’m already mourning sharp cheddar and blue. And feta. mmm ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2010, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheese-gods-decree-you-only-get-two-for-the-rest-of-your-life/559051/65 "2010-11-02T03:05:15Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > I’m surprised by Gouda’s strong support.. I am somewhat, too, but, as a poster said above, Gouda encompasses a whole wide range of cheeses. I didn’t think I really liked gouda until I had some of the aged stuff. It also depends on the creamery, but the aged versions of that cheese can be really knock-your-socks-off spectacular, with intense flavors and scents of caramel, raisins, and port. I said my definite choice would be Stilton, and then a toss-up between Cabot cheddar and 5-to-7-year gouda, but I voted gouda in the poll. And, thinking about it some more, I chose correctly. ---
**Author:** ![Ura-Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/51bf81/32.png) [@Ura-Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ura-Maru)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2010, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheese-gods-decree-you-only-get-two-for-the-rest-of-your-life/559051/66 "2010-11-02T03:06:23Z")
It’s not sufficient. It’s not right. It’s not fair. But if I must, sharp cheddar, and gorgonzola. Between the two of them, the largest plurality of cheese functions can be covered. (You CAN do pizza with chedder. It’s not perfect, but it will do) Sometimes, when there’s no good answer, you have to choose the best of the lousy ones. But this IS worse than Sophie’s Choice. But me and the cheese gods? We are done. No being so monstrous will ever know my worship again. – They may think they’ve won now, oh yes. But someday, they’ll fall. It’ll all come crashing down, all of it. Everything they think you’ve won, everything they’ve \*\*ever \*\*won, will be gone. And they’ll realize, in those last moments, that the debt is paid. And then, and **ONLY** then, will I allow them to die. ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2010, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheese-gods-decree-you-only-get-two-for-the-rest-of-your-life/559051/67 "2010-11-02T03:07:13Z")
Extra sharp white Vermont cheddar that crumbles when you slice it and, …hey, only three other votes for Gruyere? What’s up with that? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2010, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheese-gods-decree-you-only-get-two-for-the-rest-of-your-life/559051/68 "2010-11-02T03:11:53Z")
Dilled Havarti and feta. ---
**Author:** ![AlsoNamedBort](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alsonamedbort/32/3213_2.png) [@AlsoNamedBort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlsoNamedBort)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2010, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheese-gods-decree-you-only-get-two-for-the-rest-of-your-life/559051/69 "2010-11-02T03:43:04Z")
I think I’ll settle for the versatility and necessity of Sharp Cheddar and Mozzarella. An incredibly difficult poll, but I think I would have an even harder time if you bumped it up to three cheeses. What would I add on then? I don’t think I could decide between Swiss, Parm, or Pepper jack. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2010, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheese-gods-decree-you-only-get-two-for-the-rest-of-your-life/559051/70 "2010-11-02T04:10:43Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Two cheeses! That’s not a choice, that’s a penance! > > Voting for sharp cheddar and Swiss because those are the ones I eat the most often. But a world without even the occasional taste of brie . . . ☹ I saw what you did. I was going to do it. Cottage because I can’t diet without it. Port-Salut because it’s tasty. But it’s still a penance. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2010, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheese-gods-decree-you-only-get-two-for-the-rest-of-your-life/559051/71 "2010-11-02T04:42:48Z")
[Mersey Valley](http://www.merseyvalley.com.au/products/) Extra Tasty. An amazing crumbly cheddar with sharp yet creamy taste. And [King Island Dairy](http://www.kidairy.com.au/Products-Lighthouse-Blue-Brie.aspx) Lighthouse Blue Brie the ultimate blue goo. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2010, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheese-gods-decree-you-only-get-two-for-the-rest-of-your-life/559051/72 "2010-11-02T05:10:42Z")
I’d miss Meunster, Ricotta, Parmesan, Cream, and even American, but I had to go with Mild Chedder and Mozzarella. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2010, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheese-gods-decree-you-only-get-two-for-the-rest-of-your-life/559051/73 "2010-11-02T05:25:06Z")
Sharp cheddar (actually extra-sharp) and mozzarella (for pizza). Runner-up is blue, for salad dressing. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2010, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheese-gods-decree-you-only-get-two-for-the-rest-of-your-life/559051/74 "2010-11-02T05:49:30Z")
Sharp Cheddar and Goat cheese. I’m all set. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2010, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheese-gods-decree-you-only-get-two-for-the-rest-of-your-life/559051/75 "2010-11-02T12:40:24Z")
I just heard from the Dairy Gods (who are the Cheese Gods’ bosses), and they are decreeing that we only get two dairy products for the rest of our lives. Mine are cheese and more cheese. Breathe easy, everyone. mmm ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2010, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheese-gods-decree-you-only-get-two-for-the-rest-of-your-life/559051/76 "2010-11-02T12:53:30Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > I just heard from the Dairy Gods (who are the Cheese Gods’ bosses), and they are decreeing that we only get two dairy products for the rest of our lives. > > Mine are cheese and more cheese. > > Breathe easy, everyone. > mmm Fuck that. I am meant to use cheese in my lattes, or to make custard or icecream? I am meant to crumble cheese over cereal? ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2010, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheese-gods-decree-you-only-get-two-for-the-rest-of-your-life/559051/77 "2010-11-02T15:22:37Z")
I put down Edam, though it was a toss up between that and Gouda and also Swiss, by which I assume you mean Ementahl(Totally suspect that I’ve spelled that wrongly) the stuff with the holes in. Loved it to death, but not sure if I had the real thing or a local variation as I was in Southern Germany when I sated myself on it. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2010, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheese-gods-decree-you-only-get-two-for-the-rest-of-your-life/559051/78 "2010-11-02T18:19:25Z")
> [@Fugazi](#): > > Nope. I’m sorry. If this is what the Cheese Gods have decreed, then it’s time for me to start getting serious about earning experience points so I can level up and take them on. . . Perhaps we could all join together and make it a proper raid. Or would that be playing into Stoid’s hands? Would the Cheese Gods really treat their worshippers so? We have only his word for it. Hmmm. ---
**Author:** ![DonLogan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/51bf81/32.png) [@DonLogan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DonLogan)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheese-gods-decree-you-only-get-two-for-the-rest-of-your-life/559051/79 "2010-11-03T00:09:59Z")
I could probably live for a couple of months on sharp cheddar, smoked gouda, some salami, good bread, and beer. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2010, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheese-gods-decree-you-only-get-two-for-the-rest-of-your-life/559051/80 "2010-11-04T14:37:15Z")
Swiss - it’s my cheese of choice for sammiches. Mozzarella - GOT to have my pizza. Others I’d certainly miss, e.g. parmesan for my pasta, blue cheese for salads and spreads, etc. but I’d have to say swiss and mozzarella are the two I can’t give up. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheese-gods-decree-you-only-get-two-for-the-rest-of-your-life/559051.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheese-gods-decree-you-only-get-two-for-the-rest-of-your-life/559051.md?page=5)