# The Cheesiest Song of All Time **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 18, 2012, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheesiest-song-of-all-time/641415 "2012-11-18T15:38:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheesiest-song-of-all-time/641415/21 "2012-11-18T20:26:20Z")
Wow, tough crowd… but I find none to disagree with. I clicked in with “Muskrat Love” at the top of my list, and it remains there, but there’s some serious contention in here. I’ll add Barry Manilow’s “Mandy,” though. In close competition with “Copacabana.” We used to have a rock station that played this dreck every Wednesday morning for an hour, and it was painfully fun to listen through the hour. Can’t remember the name of the show - Crappy something. I still remember (and love) their catchline: “Don’t touch that dial… it’s got CRAP on it!” ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheesiest-song-of-all-time/641415/22 "2012-11-18T20:33:23Z")
Since it’s beginning to look a lot like that season again . . . [Christmas Shoes](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iq10bz3PxyY). ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheesiest-song-of-all-time/641415/23 "2012-11-18T20:33:41Z")
My nomination: “Teddy Bear,” by Red Sovine. Cheesier even than that damned Christmas shoes song. Cheese-tastic. Cheesy-riffic. “This hot load of freight is just gonna have to wait.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheesiest-song-of-all-time/641415/24 "2012-11-18T20:39:36Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Since it’s beginning to look a lot like that season again . . . > > [Christmas Shoes](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iq10bz3PxyY). That’s the Casu Marzu of cheesy songs. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheesiest-song-of-all-time/641415/25 "2012-11-18T21:36:55Z")
_Delta Dawn_ 1972 I believe Helen Reddy’s version was the worst. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheesiest-song-of-all-time/641415/26 "2012-11-18T21:54:19Z")
No votes yet for [McArthur Park](http://youtu.be/GHS8hj4TdT8)? I’d say it wins in a landslide. “Someone left the cake out in the raaaain I don’t think that I can taaaake it Cause it took so long to baaaake it And I’ll never have that recipe agaaaaaaaain, oh nooooooo!” ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheesiest-song-of-all-time/641415/27 "2012-11-18T22:26:08Z")
> [@BMalion](#): > > _Delta Dawn_ 1972 > > I believe Helen Reddy’s version was the worst. How about [my](http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/tanyatucker7.shtml) version? Cheesy, no?😛 ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheesiest-song-of-all-time/641415/28 "2012-11-18T22:32:36Z")
[Brandy, You’re a Fine Girl](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-tRXewCAmU), by Looking Glass. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheesiest-song-of-all-time/641415/29 "2012-11-18T23:07:47Z")
> [@Morbo](#): > > No votes yet for [McArthur Park](http://youtu.be/GHS8hj4TdT8)? I’d say it wins in a landslide. > > “Someone left the cake out in the raaaain > I don’t think that I can taaaake it > Cause it took so long to baaaake it > And I’ll never have that recipe agaaaaaaaain, oh nooooooo!” I saw Jimmy Webb in concert, while he talked about that song, he did **not** play it. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheesiest-song-of-all-time/641415/30 "2012-11-18T23:30:21Z")
Well, you know what they say, Love Is Like Oxygen. ---
**Author:** ![DSYoungEsq](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c6cbf5/32.png) [@DSYoungEsq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSYoungEsq)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheesiest-song-of-all-time/641415/31 "2012-11-18T23:43:20Z")
While some of the songs mentioned are certainly bad songs, but most of them are not “cheesy”. A cheesy song in my opinion has trite, bad lyrics that make you wish you’d never spent the money on purchasing the record, because you paid too much. It’s a love song that makes you cringe with the over-used metaphors, a protest song that doesn’t make you want to do anything but roll your eyes. _Star Wars_ was a great movie, though it certainly felt a lot like _Bonanza_ in space. _Battlestar Galactica_ (the original version), was a cheesy knock-off. It’s not enough for a song to be cheesy that it have bad lyrics (else everything America sang would be cheesy). Many people consider _Honey_ cheesy because it telegraphs exactly where it’s going long before you get to the final verse and the circle is completed. This fact, combined with the rather predictable key change before the last verse, the swelling of the orchestra, etc., for many people didn’t make them feel empathetic, but nauseated instead. My personal cheesy favorite was going to be _Seasons in the Sun_ by Terry Jacks. I had a friend in jr. high school who turned it into a song about being sad about appliance brands. Seemed very appropos, somehow. “We had Gaffers and Sattler, we had Maytag, too…” ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheesiest-song-of-all-time/641415/32 "2012-11-18T23:52:24Z")
Lime Jello Marshmallow Cottage Cheese Surprise by William Bolcom ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2012, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheesiest-song-of-all-time/641415/33 "2012-11-19T00:00:20Z")
Seasons in the sun ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2012, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheesiest-song-of-all-time/641415/34 "2012-11-19T00:33:20Z")
I couldn’t find a YouTube of Clare Tory’s UK cover of Dolly Parton’s **Love is Like a Butterfly,** but I think you know what it sounds like. The terrible, ireconcilable fact, however, is that Clare Tory also sang the female vocals on Pink Floyd’s **Great Gig in the Sky,** and even successfully sued for songwriting credit. ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2012, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheesiest-song-of-all-time/641415/35 "2012-11-19T00:35:51Z")
> [@zoid](#): > > Seasons in the sun Cheesy, yes. But Terry Jacks topped it! Just flip the 45 over and you’d have heard [THIS](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_pX1-IxRBY) stinker _“Put the bone in, she begged him!”_ ---
**Author:** ![voltaire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voltaire/32/313_2.png) [@voltaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voltaire)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2012, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheesiest-song-of-all-time/641415/36 "2012-11-19T00:36:34Z")
How could it be anything other than [The Safety Dance](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pOq4hyoX9g)? ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2012, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheesiest-song-of-all-time/641415/37 "2012-11-19T00:38:16Z")
> [@Dendarii\_Dame](#): > > I am staggered by how many of these songs I _own_–all but two! > > I, however, nominate Bobby Goldsboro’s _Honey_, which I don’t own. My nominee as well. ---
**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2012, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheesiest-song-of-all-time/641415/38 "2012-11-19T00:39:44Z")
Those two songs best sung when you sound like a retard: “…sorry, can’t be puh-fek…” “…and the reason is yohhh…” ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2012, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheesiest-song-of-all-time/641415/39 "2012-11-19T00:47:50Z")
[Dear Mr. jesus](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AlLGC4tAWCQ) ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2012, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheesiest-song-of-all-time/641415/40 "2012-11-19T00:49:24Z")
> [@Evil\_Captor](#): > > I’ll do my part by nominating [Young Girl,](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hn0ZJHVH17I) the pederast’s lament. Certainly the most blatant of GP’s underage sex ballads, but to me it’s more pathetic/disturbing than cheesy. I actually had the “privelege” of seeing GP & The Union Gap sing these odes in 1968. Can’t remember who they opened for. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheesiest-song-of-all-time/641415.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cheesiest-song-of-all-time/641415.md?page=3)