# "The Clowney Clusterfuck" - The 0-16 NFL Season Thread (2013 ed.) **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [September 8, 2013, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-clowney-clusterfuck-the-0-16-nfl-season-thread-2013-ed/668339 "2013-09-08T17:50:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-clowney-clusterfuck-the-0-16-nfl-season-thread-2013-ed/668339/21 "2013-09-19T17:05:58Z")
If the Jags win one game this season, they will beat the Colts (sob!). ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2013, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-clowney-clusterfuck-the-0-16-nfl-season-thread-2013-ed/668339/22 "2013-09-23T20:19:59Z")
Six teams left: Washington Redskins @ Oakland Raiders New York Giants @ KC Chiefs Tampa Bay Buccaneers v. Arizona Cardinals Jacksonville Jaguars v. Indianapolis Colts And a matchup of two undefeating (what? that’s a thing) teams: Pittsburgh Steelers @ Minnesota Vikings ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2013, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-clowney-clusterfuck-the-0-16-nfl-season-thread-2013-ed/668339/23 "2013-09-30T15:09:42Z")
Four games in, four teams remain. As promised, sorted by penultimate letter of the head coach’s middle name: Pittsburgh Steelers (head coach Michael Pettaw **a** y Tomlin) - - Point Differential: -41 (29th) - - 3rd Down Conversion Rate: 35.3% (20th) Jacksonville Jaguars (head coach Paul Cas **e** y “Gus” Bradley) - - Point Differential: -98 (32nd) - - 3rd Down Conversion Rate: 29.5% (29th) New York Giants (head coach Thomas Ric_h_a **r** d Coughlin) - - Point Differential: -85 (31st) - - 3rd Down Conversion Rate: 22.9% (32nd) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (head coach Gregory Ed_w_a **r** d Schiano) - - Point Differential: -26 (27th) - - 3rd Down Conversion Rate: 37.7% (15th) Pretty sad, really. The St. Louis Rams are right in the mix as far as the stats I included, but they got a win right off the bat (then promptly broke their own foot with the bat). As dysfunctional as all these teams appear, the Bucs should fail at matching their own history of winlessness at some point. The other three just look punchless, unless you include the fan base, who might start punching themselves soon. ---
**Author:** ![R.P.McMurphy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7993a0/32.png) [@R.P.McMurphy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R.P.McMurphy)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2013, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-clowney-clusterfuck-the-0-16-nfl-season-thread-2013-ed/668339/24 "2013-09-30T16:51:44Z")
The Jags and the Bucs wallowing around in the mud, no big deal. Whooda thunk the Steelers and Giants could look soooo bad? Both are suppose to have top level Super Bowl QB’s. It’s almost as if when Plaxico Burress shot himself in the leg the bullet passed through the whole Giants team. They have been on the downslide ever since. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2013, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-clowney-clusterfuck-the-0-16-nfl-season-thread-2013-ed/668339/25 "2013-09-30T17:08:26Z")
And the mighty Browns claw their way to 2-2. In other news, they allegedly aren’t going to trade Joe Thomas (who made his 100[sup]th[/sup] consecutive start), thus denying Joe any chance to play on a decent team throughout his entire NFL career. _Sigh._ Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![davidw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c4cdca/32.png) [@davidw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidw)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2013, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-clowney-clusterfuck-the-0-16-nfl-season-thread-2013-ed/668339/26 "2013-09-30T18:10:15Z")
> [@R.P.McMurphy](#): > > Whooda thunk the Steelers and Giants could look soooo bad? Both are suppose to have top level Super Bowl QB’s. It’s kinda interesting the way the Giants and Steelers have mirrored each other during the Eli/Big Ben years. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2013, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-clowney-clusterfuck-the-0-16-nfl-season-thread-2013-ed/668339/27 "2013-09-30T19:45:02Z")
What’s nice about the Giants and Steelers are the self-righteous fanbases are so deserving of this punishment. Especially fun is the fact that neither team is merely a victim of bad luck or losing to top teams. Both groups have to come to terms with their teams really, truly sucking like a spoiled lemon. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2013, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-clowney-clusterfuck-the-0-16-nfl-season-thread-2013-ed/668339/28 "2013-10-01T00:30:14Z")
> [@garygnu](#): > > What’s nice about the Giants and Steelers are the self-righteous fanbases are so deserving of this punishment. Especially fun is the fact that neither team is merely a victim of bad luck or losing to top teams. Both groups have to come to terms with their teams really, truly sucking like a spoiled lemon. What-fucking-ever, dude. My Giants have sucked before, they suck now, and quite likely will get better then suck again during my lifetime. But they’ve also won a Lombardi that they also had absolutely no right to win. Calling the fanbase self-righteous (this isn’t the Yankees we’re talking about, and I say that as a Yankee fan too) sounds more like sour grapes on your part than having any real meaning. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2013, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-clowney-clusterfuck-the-0-16-nfl-season-thread-2013-ed/668339/29 "2013-10-01T15:55:37Z")
Your tears taste delicious! ---
**Author:** ![Human\_Action](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@Human\_Action](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Human_Action)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2013, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-clowney-clusterfuck-the-0-16-nfl-season-thread-2013-ed/668339/30 "2013-10-01T18:50:42Z")
Looking at my Bucs’ remaining schedule: Philadelphia @ Atlanta Carolina @ Seattle (that one has 56-0 written all over it) Miami Atlanta @ Detroit @ Carolina Buffalo San Francisco @ St. Louis @ New Orleans …I have to say, they are real contenders for 0-16. Slow clap for Greg Schiano, everybody! ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2013, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-clowney-clusterfuck-the-0-16-nfl-season-thread-2013-ed/668339/31 "2013-10-01T19:22:39Z")
That sure is a tough schedule. Still, the Bucs have been in a winning position three times already and have lost, and with their core statistics being nowhere near the bottom of the league like the other three teams, I can’t see them losing every single one of those games. Top 10 pick, sure, and an extra 3rd or 4th Rounder if they can move that QB, but there are way worse teams this year. ---
**Author:** ![R.P.McMurphy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7993a0/32.png) [@R.P.McMurphy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R.P.McMurphy)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2013, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-clowney-clusterfuck-the-0-16-nfl-season-thread-2013-ed/668339/32 "2013-10-02T03:02:32Z")
> [@garygnu](#): > > That sure is a tough schedule. Still, the Bucs have been in a winning position three times already and have lost, and with their core statistics being nowhere near the bottom of the league like the other three teams, I can’t see them losing every single one of those games. Top 10 pick, sure, and an extra 3rd or 4th Rounder if they can move that QB, but there are way worse teams this year. You make an interesting point. We’ll see how it plays out. Is there decent talent and the coaching can’t put together a winning game plan? Some guys play well no matter what happens around them. Others have to be motivated to produce. There are numerous situations where, with a coaching change a team starts winning. That means they had to have some inherent talent. Contrast that with the Giants. The coach has 2 Super Bowls so he must know something. Same with the QB. Is the talent so lacking due to continually low draft picks that it can’t make up for that? There are a lot of “X” factors here. The subplot of the season may be the direction that the Giants and the Bucs go. I say the Giants show some major improvement due to coaching and the QB while the Bucs muddle along, maybe winning a few on young talent. It wouldn’t surprise me to see a sudden coaching change in Tampa and a marked improvement. I don’t know. What do you think would happen if Tampa had Caughlin and the Giants had Schiano? In that scenario I see the Giants getting the first draft pick and Tampa in the lower middle. Your guess is as good as mine. ---
**Author:** ![R.P.McMurphy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7993a0/32.png) [@R.P.McMurphy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R.P.McMurphy)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2013, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-clowney-clusterfuck-the-0-16-nfl-season-thread-2013-ed/668339/33 "2013-10-02T04:03:15Z")
Schiano doesn’t make it through the season. [http://sports.yahoo.com/news/nfl–leaking-of-josh-freeman-s-involvement-in-drug-program-damages-players–relations-with-nfl-211030376.html](http://sports.yahoo.com/news/nfl--leaking-of-josh-freeman-s-involvement-in-drug-program-damages-players--relations-with-nfl-211030376.html) We’ll see what happens. ---
**Author:** ![Human\_Action](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@Human\_Action](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Human_Action)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2013, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-clowney-clusterfuck-the-0-16-nfl-season-thread-2013-ed/668339/34 "2013-10-02T15:50:14Z")
> [@garygnu](#): > > That sure is a tough schedule. Still, the Bucs have been in a winning position three times already and have lost, and with their core statistics being nowhere near the bottom of the league like the other three teams, I can’t see them losing every single one of those games. Top 10 pick, sure, and an extra 3rd or 4th Rounder if they can move that QB, but there are way worse teams this year. You’re probably right, the Bucs have an elite run defense and some real talent on offense. They’ll probably beat Buffalo and Carolina at home and finish 2-14. The x-factor, though, is the Schiano/Freeman circus and the resulting instability in the organization. When your coach is suspected of rigging the vote for team captain, benching his quarterback for a rookie to save his own job for another few weeks, and leaking the fact that Freeman was in the league’s drug program…we might see a full-on mutiny against Schiano, a walkout, an assault, who knows? > [@R. P. McMurphy](#): > > Schiano doesn’t make it through the season. Christ, I hope not. What a debacle. And to think, almost had Chip Kelly! ---
**Author:** ![chargerrich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chargerrich/32/5399_2.png) [@chargerrich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chargerrich)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2013, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-clowney-clusterfuck-the-0-16-nfl-season-thread-2013-ed/668339/35 "2013-10-02T17:08:52Z")
> [@Omniscient](#): > > My team to watch will be the Chargers, most people think they will slip but I think there’s a real chance they crater. Matthews gets hurt, Rivers throws a million picks, the defense is a sieve and they rest of the division turns out to be really good. How dare you!? :mad: 😃 JK No question this years Chargers team is way off it’s talent peak from a few years ago but Rivers is playing great despite a poor running game, woeful OL and a WR injury list that looks like a military combat report! The Bolts could easily be 4-0 but more importantly… Norv is gone and the coaching changes are so obviously yielding a tougher team with a killer instinct. No playoffs this year, but we have a solid foundation. Need to draft a QB to get mentored by Rivers for a few years but I am happy with where we are heading. ---
**Author:** ![chargerrich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chargerrich/32/5399_2.png) [@chargerrich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chargerrich)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2013, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-clowney-clusterfuck-the-0-16-nfl-season-thread-2013-ed/668339/36 "2013-10-02T17:13:03Z")
> [@Human\_Action](#): > > You’re probably right, the Bucs have an elite run defense and some real talent on offense. They’ll probably beat Buffalo and Carolina at home and finish 2-14. > > The x-factor, though, is the Schiano/Freeman circus and the resulting instability in the organization. When your coach is suspected of rigging the vote for team captain, benching his quarterback for a rookie to save his own job for another few weeks, and leaking the fact that Freeman was in the league’s drug program…we might see a full-on mutiny against Schiano, a walkout, an assault, who knows? > > Christ, I hope not. What a debacle. And to think, almost had Chip Kelly! I hear Lane Kiffin is available! /duck ---
**Author:** ![Human\_Action](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@Human\_Action](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Human_Action)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2013, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-clowney-clusterfuck-the-0-16-nfl-season-thread-2013-ed/668339/37 "2013-10-02T18:29:30Z")
> [@chargerrich](#): > > I hear Lane Kiffin is available! /duck You better duck! That’s just uncalled for. Though, if he brought Monte back with him…nah, our defense is solid as it is. I do have one soft spot for Lane: he left the Volunteers in such a shambles that my beloved Kentucky Wildcats were able to beat them for the first time in 26 years, back in 2011, in one of the greatest college games I’ve ever seen. ---
**Author:** ![R.P.McMurphy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7993a0/32.png) [@R.P.McMurphy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R.P.McMurphy)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2013, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-clowney-clusterfuck-the-0-16-nfl-season-thread-2013-ed/668339/38 "2013-10-07T04:42:03Z")
You might have to change the title of the OP. [http://sports.yahoo.com/news/spurrier-unsure-clowney-play-vs-185359195–ncaaf.html](http://sports.yahoo.com/news/spurrier-unsure-clowney-play-vs-185359195--ncaaf.html) What’s going on with this guy? His conditioning is being questioned. He’s starting to sound like the football version of Greg Oden. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2013, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-clowney-clusterfuck-the-0-16-nfl-season-thread-2013-ed/668339/39 "2013-10-07T04:44:30Z")
Is he hurt or is he starting to agree with the people who said he should just sit out this year to avoid getting really hurt? ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2013, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-clowney-clusterfuck-the-0-16-nfl-season-thread-2013-ed/668339/40 "2013-10-07T15:10:28Z")
New York Giants (0-5) Tampa Bay (0-4) Pittsburgh (0-4) Jacksonville (0-5) Next week’s schedule: Giants at Chicago (Thursday night) Philadelphia at Tampa Bay Pittsburgh at NY Jets Jacksonville at Denver Pittsburgh is the only team with a chance to win, it looks like - and even those chances aren’t that high. Lord, can you imagine how many points Peyton and Co. are going to put up before they all get benched at half time against Jacksonville?! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-clowney-clusterfuck-the-0-16-nfl-season-thread-2013-ed/668339.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-clowney-clusterfuck-the-0-16-nfl-season-thread-2013-ed/668339.md?page=3)