# The Cocktail Party **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 1, 2001, 11:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cocktail-party/84744 "2001-10-01T11:26:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 11:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cocktail-party/84744/1 "2001-10-01T11:26:02Z")
_Bon Jour_ and welcome! This is somewhere between **Ginger** ’s [Flirt](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=89383) thread and **Fenris** ’s [Dumb Question](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=90000) thread, with a side of **Nymysys** ’s [Anti-flirt](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=89395) thread. Only different. The drinks are over there, and the snacks are around. Make yourself at home. And make yourselves your own drinks too. Don’t skimp on the liquor. Try the cheese, it’s especially good. Hang out for a while and chat amongst yourselves. Newbies and lurkers are welcome. Just say whatever you want, no matter how trivial. Don’t worry about dropping _bon mots_, we have the whole thread Scotch-Guarded™. Ya know what I just learned? Lamps have _nipples_. Yeah, they do. That hollow screw thing the socket gets screwed into? That’s a nipple. So, like. I was talking to that one girl, and go “So, look at that big bunch of cows.” And she goes “Herd of cows.” “Yeah, I heard of cows. That’s how I knew those were cows.” She goes “A cow herd.” Whatta I care if a cow heard? They got ears let 'em use 'em. It was a very “Abbott and Costello” moment. That’s a lovely blouse. Is it new? Nice shoes. Which is sexier, the potato or the yam? You get the idea. Have fun. Stay out of the closets, though. We’re all grown-ups here. No “Seven Minutes in Heaven”. [Groucho]Say the secret woid, and the duck comes down. You don’t get a hunnert dallahs, but the duck still comes down. It’s a simple woid, you find it around the house everyday.[/Groucho] -Rue. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cocktail-party/84744/2 "2001-10-01T11:32:45Z")
Hi **Rue** , am I the first one here? I hate that. Sorry I came a little bit early but I’m not familiar with this part of town and didn’t want to get lost. I hope you’re neighbors don’t mind I parked on their lawn. So, nice place you’ve got here. Look, I know you still have a couple of things to do so I’ll just browse around the food, make myself a drink and play with the boys before you put them to bed, okay. :: opens door to garage:: Is this the bathroom? ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cocktail-party/84744/3 "2001-10-01T11:45:39Z")
Oh, **Rue** , I love what you’ve done with the place. And I have to admit, I’ve never seen a cheese sculpture before, except for the over-done cubist thing. I brought this wine - I understand last week was a particularly good vintage, plus the box is hermetically sealed and unbreakable - everything one wants in wine! Incidentally, I’ve been told that you’re a swinger? Is that true? Was that really a porch swing I saw in the gazebo?? ---
**Author:** ![Amazing\_Tiki\_God](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazing\_Tiki\_God](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazing_Tiki_God)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cocktail-party/84744/4 "2001-10-01T11:47:20Z")
Pfftttt with all the small talk. Where’s the keg? ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cocktail-party/84744/5 "2001-10-01T12:10:29Z")
**Shibb** , glad to see you. If you go through that door for the bathroom, you’ll have to continue on through the big door, then turn right and go up the stairs. Then turn right again through the fence. Throught the gate would be prferrable, but if you’re in a hurry… Then go up the hill and you’ll see a bucket. _Leave the bucket alone!_ There’s a tree by the bucket. Enjoy. **Snickers** , I’m glad you like the sculpture. _Laocoon and the Serpent._ I’m quite proud of it. Did you see what I did with the olives? Nice wine, it’ll go great with my shirt. But who would put a hermit in a box? That’s just weird. Maybe I could show you the gaze-bo later. It’s a real nice swing and it plays music when you rock. _The Anvil Chorus._ Trés sexy. Lookie! It’s The Mighty… Just “Tiki”… wait, he’s **Amazing** now. I guess that means if you want to get from one side of **Tiki** to the other you’d better have some string. No, wait. That’s “a labrynth”. For a maze you just need a pencil. Unless it’s a [corn maze]([http://www.youngsdairy.com/act2.htm#Cowvin’s](http://www.youngsdairy.com/act2.htm#Cowvin's) Corny Maze). Or would that be “corn maize”? Why do you want nails? Are you going to build a doghouse or something? Oh wait, other things come in kegs too, don’t they? Dynamite comes in kegs. Or is that just black powder? Family fun either way. Just watch your fingers **Tiki**. Have some cheese. -Rue. ---
**Author:** ![Verrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/46a35a/32.png) [@Verrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Verrain)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cocktail-party/84744/6 "2001-10-01T12:33:44Z")
I’ve got to say **Rue** its amazing what a couple gallons of industrial solvent will clean up. The place looks great. Though what possessed yout o use Wensleydale for the sculpture I’ll never know. Verrain wanders over to the bar and pours himself a rum and rum and coke. So, **FairyChatMom** , how is every little thing? ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cocktail-party/84744/7 "2001-10-01T12:44:59Z")
Hey, **Verrain** , nice ascot! Not just anyone can pull off that retro-grunge-post-apocalyptic look that is so you! Every little thing is just peachy, thanks. All charges were dropped and I’m pretty sure the statues can be restored. And that thing about flashing the governor was blown _way_ out of proportion! So what’s new with you? ---
**Author:** ![TheOtherOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dbc845/32.png) [@TheOtherOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheOtherOne)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cocktail-party/84744/8 "2001-10-01T13:18:48Z")
::Stumbles in, already half drunk:: Hey! Nice place ya got here **Rue** , mind if I make myself a few dozen drinks? Can’t stay too long though, my ride is tied to someone’s car out front. I don’t know anyone here anyway, so I’ll just lean against the wall here by this table-o-booze and relax for a while. ::Stumbles over and plants himself near the liquor:: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cocktail-party/84744/9 "2001-10-01T14:02:54Z")
::bobkitty also stumbles in, red-eyed and disheveled after three days in Vegas, and looks around:: Ooh. I’m needing a little hair of the dawg, here. Double gin and tonic, please. NOW. ::blink:: Hey… this place is… is… quiet. And not all bright and sparkly. And there aren’t people hooked up to slot machines like some scary-ass version of the Borg. Oh, THANK GOD!!! I can finally get some sleep!!! ::grabs drink, stumbles over to a couch, waves a hand to magically produce a pillow, and curls up into a little ball to get some much-needed rest:: ---
**Author:** ![Gravity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gravity/32/14322_2.png) [@Gravity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gravity)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cocktail-party/84744/10 "2001-10-01T14:27:25Z")
And so I says “nine, what do you mean nine? I only have two!” ---
**Author:** ![Gartog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/22d042/32.png) [@Gartog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gartog)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cocktail-party/84744/11 "2001-10-01T14:30:50Z")
Theanks for the invite **Rue DeDay** , I liked the gold trim. \ Cocktail Party eh? I’ll have a _Slow Southern Screw_ please. ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cocktail-party/84744/12 "2001-10-01T14:54:32Z")
I’m sorry. Did someone say something? I was distracted there for a moment. There’s a half drunk **bobkitty** sleeping on the couch… Has anyone seen my EMT shears? They can cut through a penny you know. Good to see you **Gartog**. Gold trim? Oohhhh… That’s mustard. I was making sandwiches when I sent that out. **T’Other’N** , no need to make so many. We have _really_ big cups here. Like at the 7-Eleven. 55 gallons of drinking pleasure. Is that your burro out there? That’s a “No Burro” zone. You’ll have to tie 'er up across the street. [sub]Never did like those neighbors much anyway.[/sub] **Snickers** , I think **Verrain** ’s ascot is more apricot than peachy. Definitely an apricot ascot. People are starting to show up, I guess it’s time for some music. I have _Trout Fishing in America_, _They Might Be Giants_, Jimmy Buffett, _Cowboy Junkies_, _Concrete Blonde_ and Vivaldi on “shuffle”. Let’s see what we get… ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cocktail-party/84744/13 "2001-10-01T15:12:47Z")
Well, I’m still recovering, but I simply had to make an appearance. Howdy. Okay, take care. I’ll see y’all later. \< **ts** goes back to his place to lay on the couch and watch movies.\> ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cocktail-party/84744/14 "2001-10-01T15:20:00Z")
Incidentally, **Rue** , I love the way you’ve decorated your place. I’ve never seen a family portrait on red velvet before! And those flaming sconces are really classy… should they be flaming that high? Should they be burning at all? uh, **Rue** , where do you keep your fire extinguisher?? No reason - just wondering… ---
**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cocktail-party/84744/15 "2001-10-01T15:26:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rue DeDay \* > > Which is sexier, the potato or the yam? > > \*\* Yams are far sexier than potatoes. Everyone knows that. ::heads off to go make a few gallons of her special recipe “happy sangria”:: ---
**Author:** ![TheOtherOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dbc845/32.png) [@TheOtherOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheOtherOne)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cocktail-party/84744/16 "2001-10-01T15:30:37Z")
**Rue** , you ever tried to wrastle a drunken burro? You don’t like the way she’s tied up, you move her yourself. She gets kinda irate when she goes without her medicine for too long. On another note, I really do like the way you’ve spiffed the place up. I never knew you could so much with potting soil, moldy cheese, and some milk crates! You’re a genius man 🙂 [sub]::Leans back and slurps down some of his 55ounce Screwdriver of the Damned::[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Cap\_n\_Yoaz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8797f3/32.png) [@Cap\_n\_Yoaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cap_n_Yoaz)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cocktail-party/84744/17 "2001-10-01T15:31:41Z")
:: peeks around the doorway of the bathroom to make sure no one’s approaching, then rummages through the medicine cabinet to find anything interesting, informative, or naughty :: ---
**Author:** ![TheOtherOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dbc845/32.png) [@TheOtherOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheOtherOne)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cocktail-party/84744/18 "2001-10-01T16:18:02Z")
::Sneaks up on **Cap’n Yoaz** to see what he’s:: MY GOD MAN!!! Where on earth did you find 8 gallons of KY and a King-Kong Dong?!?? ::Runs away, covering ass:: ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cocktail-party/84744/19 "2001-10-01T16:51:53Z")
:: **Superdude** walks in, **Medea’s Child** on one arm, **Kittie** on the other:: Hello, everyone! ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cocktail-party/84744/20 "2001-10-01T17:02:38Z")
Um. Is there any food here that isn’t made into a sculpture? Ya got some of that spinach dip? While I’m scrounging, I’ll find some nice broth for poor \*\* thinksnow\*\*. **Rue** , honey, fix me a margarita, wouldja? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cocktail-party/84744.md?page=2)