# The coffee pot **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 16, 2004, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-coffee-pot/240387 "2004-04-16T17:01:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![the\_Lady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bb73d2/32.png) [@the\_Lady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_Lady)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-coffee-pot/240387/41 "2004-04-19T13:13:34Z")
To answer **Cinnamon Girl** ’s question from half a page or so ago - Office services got involved because he was using their coffeemaker. If he had been using his own, it would have been okay. Presumably. minor hijack Office services. Great people. Then there was time they went around stealing people’s fans and floor heaters. Literally. We received an email asking people not to use them and then they waited 24 hours, and started going around and taking them. At 6:30 pm one night. I can understand their concern, but at least give everyone a chance to bring them home! end of hijack. Back to your regularly scheduled thread. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-coffee-pot/240387/42 "2004-04-19T13:29:48Z")
> [@Angua](#): > > No, but I eat espresso beans like they’re going out of fashion. Methamphetibeans: chocolate covered espresso beans. ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-coffee-pot/240387/43 "2004-04-19T13:31:37Z")
> [@Homebrew](#): > > Methamphetibeans: chocolate covered espresso beans. Yup. Those’d be the ones I eat. I’ve even managed to bake chocolate covered espresso beans. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-coffee-pot/240387/44 "2004-04-20T01:30:46Z")
> [@](#): > > His name is Inigo Montoya. You **violated** his coffee pot. Prepare to die. That’s illegal in Georgia. 😛 This is more like \*Ask the Coffee Addicts \* thread. It makes me feel like a heel for drinking instant coffee. Please don’t hurt me. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Girl)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-coffee-pot/240387/45 "2004-04-20T01:47:57Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > This is more like \*Ask the Coffee Addicts \* thread. It makes me feel like a heel for drinking instant coffee. Please don’t hurt me. Folks, it may be time for an intervention. Shame on you, Shirley. That’s right. SHAME. ON. YOU! 😛 Where’s the thread, BTW? I’m sooo there! ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-coffee-pot/240387/46 "2004-04-20T01:57:53Z")
You should start an " Ask the Coffee Goddess" Thread. Then you can lead to the road to caffeinated salvation. FTR, I do drink drip coffee - Arabica- and some flavoricous Cinnabon Coffee…which makes me drool as the smell wafts through my house - but I am largely a Maxwell House Instant Gal…I feel so dirty. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-coffee-pot/240387/47 "2004-04-20T14:03:52Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > I am largely a Maxwell House Instant Gal…I feel so dirty. You should. Do you brew your tea or use instant? Powdered milk? Instant potatoes from a box? Minute Rice? Hamburger Helper? You, my dear, are a _philistine_! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-coffee-pot/240387/48 "2004-04-20T15:21:00Z")
Since this is the pit… > [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > I am largely a Maxwell House Instant Gal…I feel so dirty. Yes. You are a coffee whore. Beyond shame. I’ll bet it was _you_ who did the deed that started this thread! I demand you shave your head, dress only in a guaze toga and clogs and follow **Cinnamon Girl** ’s every command until you have seen the error in your ways. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-coffee-pot/240387/49 "2004-04-20T15:40:07Z")
> [@bodypoet](#): > > Now, I have to steam water for the coffee press, yes? On the stove, I reckon–okay, I can do that. I was thinking of the quandry a French Press would be at work when I realized two possible solutions. The industrial coffee maker at work has a hot water tap for the folks who like hot chocolate. I haven’t measured the temp, but it might be hot enough for brewing in the French Press. You could also heat the water in the microwave before adding to the press. ---
**Author:** ![PatriotX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c4cdca/32.png) [@PatriotX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatriotX)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-coffee-pot/240387/50 "2004-04-20T20:08:38Z")
> [@Homebrew](#): > > I was thinking of the quandry a French Press would be at work when I realized two possible solutions. The industrial coffee maker at work has a hot water tap for the folks who like hot chocolate. I haven’t measured the temp, but it might be hot enough for brewing in the French Press. You could also heat the water in the microwave before adding to the press. It’s the same temp as the water that brews the coffee. There’s a resevoir in side of it, and/or a flash heater, depending on what model y’all’ve got. The only thing I’ve found that improves mediocre coffee is heavy cream. ---
**Author:** ![Yamirskoonir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/c0e974/32.png) [@Yamirskoonir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yamirskoonir)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-coffee-pot/240387/51 "2004-04-20T21:16:03Z")
> [@Cinnamon Girl](#): > > Me: Full pot, first thing AM. 2-4 espresso bevs during & after work (yeah, that would be 6-12 oz of espresso), another pot in the evening while I’m here. Daily. Ex Barista/Shift Supervisor weighing in here (I’m no longer a Star Whore! Whoo!). Honey, we had partners like you at the stores I used to work at. We _literally_ had to enroll them in SA (Starbucks Anonymous), due to the fact that they were having caffeine-induced nervous breakdowns in the middle of drive-thru rushes (which were pretty much 24/7). I’ll never forget this one assistant manager we had - we couldn’t let him work the bar anymore, because he’d easily down 12 shots in a 4 hour shift. Probably more when we weren’t looking. “One shot for the tall mocha, one for me…Three shots for the iced venti latte, one for me…” (Mind you, I worked in a store where we had La Marzoccos and we always pulled two shots regardless if the drink called for one…darn those newfangled push-button Verissimos! Takes the human element out of pulling a beautiful shot, I tell ya!) Guess he couldn’t stand to see those extra shots go to waste. 😃 And not to scare y’all, but on the dangers of ingesting too much caffeine: We had a regular who would come in three times a day, seven days a week, rain or shine, and order a quad con panna each time (for those who don’t know the lingo, that’s 4 shots of espresso with whipped cream). THREE TIMES A DAY. God knows what else she was drinking at home or at the office! Then a few weeks went by where she didn’t appear. We began to worry. When she finally showed again, she ordered a _decaf_ quad con panna. We asked her where she had been - all of her caffeine drinking had led to an adrenaline-induced mild heart attack (which she was already susceptible to) that landed her in the hospital for awhile! Moral of the story: A lot of caffeine is waaaaay bad for you! And it can be stressful on your heart! ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f07891/32.png) [@Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Plastic_Ninja)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-coffee-pot/240387/52 "2004-04-21T01:16:48Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > The office \*does \* have an above-board “coffee club” which serves all the :gah: Folgers you can tolera…erm, drink for the measly price of $3.00/month. _sputters_ You…have to pay for your work coffee? Remind me to give extra-special schnoogums to Michelle, the Goddess Of Making All Things Work at my company. Not only do we the employees not have to pay for our own coffee, but we have three industrial-sized (i.e., they don’t brew a pot, they brew one of those big jugs) coffeemakers. One for decaf, one for regular Folger’s (which NOBODY drinks), and one for Starbucks. We have various varieties of the Starbucks – none flavored, but all various different kinds of bean. Pre-ground, though. And nearby we have the big huge Carnation myriad-flavors thing. Amaretto, Irish Creme, or just your basic half-and-half (no heavy whipping cream, more’s the pity). And sugar, Splenda, pink and blue packets, I think some Sugar in the Raw last time I looked… What’s more, people CAN bring their own mugs, but the only other cups we have at work are the 12-oz Styrofoam tumblers. Every morning I would fill up one of those with coffee, fill up another with water, and I’d be going going going all day long. All this, of course, is aside from the 25-cent snack machines and Coke machines (but one of them stopped taking quarters yesterday and the other ran COMPLETELY out of Mt. Dew… ☹ ) ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-coffee-pot/240387/53 "2004-04-21T02:26:41Z")
> [@](#): > > You should. Do you brew your tea or use instant? Powdered milk? Instant potatoes from a box? Minute Rice? Hamburger Helper? > > You, my dear, are a _philistine_! 😉 I use both. From the cow. Instant potatoes. Minute Rice. Hamburger Helper. And Dear God! I eat RAMEN NOODLES RIGHT FROM THE PYREX BOWL!!! CAN I BE SAVED? I’ve never been a philistine before. Or is it Phili-steen 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Dragonblink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Dragonblink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragonblink)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-coffee-pot/240387/54 "2004-04-21T03:13:39Z")
> [@Yamirskoonir](#): > > (Mind you, I worked in a store where we had La Marzoccos and we always pulled two shots regardless if the drink called for one…darn those newfangled push-button Verissimos! Takes the human element out of pulling a beautiful shot, I tell ya!) [hijack] As Carpal-Tunnel-Syndrome-inducing as the La Marzocco machines are, they’re so much more fun to use and they give you more control over the quality of the shots. I hear all sorts of complaints, both from baristas and from shot-chugging regulars, about the Verissimos. Then again, if my store had gotten a Veriss while I was working there, I might not have been off for a month and a half on disability with shot carpal tunnels. I think that’s why Starbucks has been moving away from the La Marzes, too many worker’s comp claims. [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Girl)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-coffee-pot/240387/55 "2004-04-21T03:30:47Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > I use both. From the cow. Instant potatoes. Minute Rice. Hamburger Helper. And Dear God! I eat RAMEN NOODLES RIGHT FROM THE PYREX BOWL!!! > > CAN I BE SAVED? For the love of whole foods, woman! Have you no couth? You’re really some 46-yr-old geek bachelor who just moved out of his parents’ house disguised as a bright, witty, lipstick-wearing lady, aren’t you? Admit it! You can’t hide behind that riotous mask any longer! Come out, you hairy pip-squeak charlatan! SHOW ME THE MONEY! 😛 > [@](#): > > You should start an " Ask the Coffee Goddess" Thread. > > Then you can lead to the road to caffeinated salvation. You know, I could. I’m mulling it over. But, frankly my dear, you’re going to need a bit more salvation than even I can provide. Sheesh. Instant potatoes. Really. Coffee is the least of your issues. I suspect your nutritional deficiencies may be clouding your judgment. 😃 Get thee to the vegetable aisle, stat! You know, Shirley… As a matter of fact, I quite enjoy your posts, so you may disregard the challenge above. I like you just the way you are…whatever that is! 😉 Just to show my appreciation (and pity…hehe) e-mail me with a mailing address and I’ll be happy to fix you up with some good bean. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Girl)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-coffee-pot/240387/56 "2004-04-21T04:08:46Z")
> [@Yamirskoonir](#): > > Ex Barista/Shift Supervisor weighing in here (I’m no longer a Star Whore! Whoo!). > … > Honey, we had partners like you at the stores I used to work at. We _literally_ had to enroll them in SA (Starbucks Anonymous)… Hey (ex)partner! 🙂 SA. That’s funny. That’s what all my coworkers tell me too! I’d be the poster child! > [@](#): > > Moral of the story: A lot of caffeine is waaaaay bad for you! And it can be stressful on your heart! I know, I know. I’m starting to make a few of my drinks half-caf, but only begrudgingly. My doc is aware of my intake and checks my blood pressure regularly. It’s perfect. His advice is that as long as I’m not suffering any ill effects (i.e., jitters, palpitations, dizziness, etc.) that I can maintain my present intake. I share his opinion that a variable high-low intake is more unhealthy than a consistently high intake. Consistently low is probably not very realistic for me. The only problems I have are on days I don’t have coffee which are few and very far between. After all these years, I know my limits. > [@](#): > > “One shot for the tall mocha, one for me…Three shots for the iced venti latte, one for me…”…Guess he couldn’t stand to see those extra shots go to waste. 😃 Heh. Separated at birth, your assistant manager and me! It is so sad to see them go, those little orphan shots. Sometimes, I play pusher and pawn off the extras on our regular customers. “How about that extra shot, there, buddy? You know you want it! I’m just going to throw it away (drink it)…” All’s I need is a little whip…aaahh, con panna… [continue hijack]Dragonblink, carpal tunnel? Got it. Yeah, got it good. Used to wear a brace with a surgical glove over it to keep it from getting all nasty. But working a La Marzocco with CTS is all about technique. Once you learn how to do it without wrenching your wrist, no problems at all. Oh, and those Verisimos do suck, IMHO. I’ve got to do quads just to taste the damn espresso. If we ever get one of those, I’ll transfer to another store or keep a Barista demo running at all times. Besides what’s the point in gloriously referring to us as “baristas” if all we’re doing is punching a couple of buttons? No skill required thank you very much. I may as well work on an assembly line.[/hijack] **Inigo** , my sincerest apologies for commandeering your thread. My obsession knows no bounds or grace. You’ve been a patient man. 🙂 That is all. You may now return to your regularly scheduled program. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-coffee-pot/240387/57 "2004-04-21T15:53:14Z")
> [@Cinnamon Girl](#): > > **Inigo** , my sincerest apologies for commandeering your thread. My obsession knows no bounds or grace. Is no problem. This thread should probably die, but one more thing: I get in this morning and there’s coffee in my pot. Fresh coffee. I’m impressed because I’m usually the only one who demonstrates a working knowledge of the Black Wine synthesizer. I’m even more impressed as I remember that I used the last of my coffee yesterday afternoon (the 4:pm pot gets me through to the end of my shift at 7:pm). I load up my cobalt glazed grail and plop down in front of my machine. I’m 30 minutes early (so I can hit the SDMB before work) and start catching up on my pet threads for the week. Things are going well, my more inane posts are ignored or laughed at, another is gleaning guarded respect. Good, good. Ah the coffee thread (which I realize should have been titled “The Coffee PIT” but life is full of lessons). Sip coffee. Pause. Scowl. Sip. Make bitterface. Pantining now, trying to swallow hard to clear the back of my throat. Eyes watering. Klaxons jangling through my every pore. _FOLGERS_. There’s \*FOLGERS \* in my cup. I shoulda seen this coming. Two other pots full of scalding _mur_ and someone has besieged my aparatus with beetle heads, stems and fingernail clippings out of a red can. Calmly. Walk back to the pot. Empty my cup back into the urn (while saying a silent prayer of apology to the million little coffee gods). Enjoy, my mysterious malefactor. Enjoy. And one day it will occur to you: if you run bilge through a decent machine, you will still have bilge. Now I must away to the grocery at lunchtime to replenish my supply and buy a quart each of vinegar and lemon juice. The vinegar is bad for the coffee maker, it is for \*me \* to drink. The lemon juice will be used to clean & descale the coffee maker–it’s been a while anyway. –jeers ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-coffee-pot/240387/58 "2004-04-21T15:54:30Z")
f-ing smilies… ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-coffee-pot/240387/59 "2004-04-22T03:06:47Z")
**Cinnimon.** …no that’s not right.\*\* Cimanon.\*\* Why couldn’t she pick Paprika or Barley, or even Rosemary? \*\* Cinnimon Girl \*\* oh fark it. Your emal is disabled. Please get it a handicapped parking sticker and see my email to contact me about a most importanto discussion on coffee beans. \*This concludes this post. Had this been an actual message it would have contained purient facts, or at least gratutuitous swearing and pie references. Please resume your regularly scheduled mundania. Thank You. \* [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-coffee-pot/240387.md?page=2)