# The comedy of Babelfish **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 7, 2000, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-comedy-of-babelfish/18806 "2000-05-07T04:22:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wonko_The_Sane)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2000, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-comedy-of-babelfish/18806/21 "2000-05-08T14:38:59Z")
I entered some song lyrics from ‘Plush’, by STP. “And I feel, I feel, when the dogs begin to smell her, Will she smell alone?” I translated between English and German several times. Then from english to italian, and back to english, then from english to french, then back to english, then to portuguese and back then to spanish and back. This is what I ended up with: “I, sensitivity, the one that the I, if i persecutes beginning, he creates it, the end to only feel odore around him of odore?” The word dog seemed to disappear when I translated this into spanish. it was the second to last step. Kinda silly. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2000, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-comedy-of-babelfish/18806/22 "2000-05-08T19:21:40Z")
I took the opening lines and ran it through the English-german-italian-portugese-french-german cycle, which yields: ## "Call of some people offers it the cattle the station work. Ouais! Some call it gangsters of the love. Some people call it a Maurice a cause, this, which I on pompatus the love legend. " ---
**Author:** ![Chickenhead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7cd45c/32.png) [@Chickenhead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chickenhead)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2000, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-comedy-of-babelfish/18806/23 "2000-05-08T19:54:26Z")
Babelfish IS crazy! I put in some Melville and got back something quite different. (Btw English-french-Italian-german-english) > [@](#): > > Imprimis: I am a man who, from his youth upwards, has been filled with a profound conviction that the easiest way of life is the best. Hence, though I belong to a profession proverbially energetic and nervous, even to turbulence, at times, yet nothing of that sort have I ever suffered to invade my peace. BABELFISH SAYS: > [@](#): > > Grandmother’s colostemy bag lay on the sofa. Poohtang and a few of his acquaintances were sipping the bag’s contents through crazy-straws. That Greek bitch from down the street was dancing on the table, and she was, shall I say, evidently in a delicate condition: preggers and naked. Her giant, pendulous breasts were fully visible to any heathen who wished to gaze thereon. Dayam! ---
**Author:** ![pldennison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc29f/32.png) [@pldennison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pldennison)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2000, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-comedy-of-babelfish/18806/24 "2000-05-08T20:37:15Z")
The end of Howard Beale’s great rant from _Network_: > [@](#): > > I don’t know what to do about the depression and the inflation and the Russians and the crime in the street. All I know is that first you’ve got to get mad. You’ve got to say, I’m a human being, god damn it! My life has value! So I want you to get up now. I want all of you to get up out of your chairs. I want you to get up right now and go to the window, open it, and stick your head out, and yell, I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore! I want you to get up right now, sit up, go to your windows, open them and stick your head out and yell - I’m as mad as hell and I’m not going to take this anymore! Things have got to change… This one only took English\>French\>English to get pretty funny: > [@](#): > > I cannot what make about the depression and of inflation and the Russians and the crime in the street. Very that I know is that initially you have to become insane. You have for saying, I am a human being, nothing a god it! My life has the value! Thus I want that you rise now. I want that all you rises out of your chairs. I you want to rise in this moment and to go in Window, to open it, and to stick your head outside, and to howl, I am as insane as the hell, and I will not take this more! I want that you rise in this moment, sit me upwards, go to your Windows, opens them and sticks your head outside and howls - I am as insane as the hell and me will not take this more! The things must change… ---
**Author:** ![Geenius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Geenius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geenius)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2000, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-comedy-of-babelfish/18806/25 "2000-05-08T21:37:16Z")
Two words: Prince lyrics. English to Spanish to English: It wore away a beret of the frambuesa, the class that you find in an indirect warehouse. English to French to English: It carried a raspberry beret, the kind which you find in a store of occasion. English to German to English: It carried a raspberry toque, the type, which you find in a used memory. English to Italian to English: It has carried a berreto of the raspberry, the kind that found in a second hand warehouse. English to Portuguese to English: It consumed a special force of raspberry, the type that you find in a secondhand store. ``` * * * ``` English to Spanish to English: If you did not come to the party, not incomode striking in my door. I have a lion in my pocket, and baby, he is ready to rugir. English to French to English: If you did not come to the part, do not take the trouble to strike my gate. I have a lion in my pocket, and baby, it is ready to howl. English to German to English: If you did not come to the involved one, do not disturb to knock on my door. I have lion in my bag, and baby, he is to be roared ready for use. English to Italian to English: If you did not come to the party, not to preoccuparsi to strike on my hatch. Have got a lion in my pocket and child, is ready to ruggire. English to Portuguese to English: If you not to come the party, does not bother to beat in my gate. I have got a lion in my pocket, and baby, is ready to roar. ``` * * * ``` English to Spanish to English: How can you just let to me be unemployed, single in a world that is so cold? I am perhaps also to demand just. I am perhaps right like my father, too much in negrilla. I am perhaps right like my mother; it never is satisfied. Why we shouted in one a? This is what sounds like when the doves shout. English to French to English: How can you to just let me be held, only in a world which is so cold? Perhaps I am too a request right. Perhaps I am right like my father, too fatty. Perhaps I am right like my mother; she is never satisfied. Why do we shout with other? It is what resembles that moment when the doves cry. English to German to English: How can you leave even to me being, however in a world, which is so cold? Possibly I am even also require. Possibly I am too fat like my father straight. Possibly I am like my nut/mother straight; it is never fulfilled. Why scream we on each other? This is, which sounds it as, when pigeons cry. English to Italian to English: How you can just lasciarmi levarsi in feet, solo in a world that is therefore cold? Perhaps they are equally to demand just. Perhaps they are right as my father, too much GRASSETTO. Perhaps they are right as my base; it is not never satisfied. Why we scream to vicissitude? That is that what sound like when the doves cry. English to Portuguese to English: How can you just leave me to be, alone in a world that is thus cold? Perhaps I am too much to exijir just. Perhaps I am just I eat my father, too much bold (distinction). Perhaps I am just I eat my array; she is satisfied never. Why we cry out in if? This is what it sounds as when the doves cry out. ---
**Author:** ![Shadenwawa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3da27b/32.png) [@Shadenwawa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shadenwawa)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2000, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-comedy-of-babelfish/18806/26 "2000-05-08T21:47:15Z")
Hehe Babelfish is so great. You will all recognize the following: > [@](#): > > To be, or not to be- that is the question: Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, And by opposing end them. To die- to sleep-No more; and by a sleep to say we end The heartache, and the thousand natural shocksThat flesh is heir to. ‘Tis a consummation Devoutly to be wish’d. To die- to sleep.To sleep- perchance to dream: ay, there’s the rub!For in that sleep of death what dreams may come When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, Must give us pause. There’s the respect That makes calamity of so long life. For who would bear the whips and scorns of time, Th’ oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s contumely, The pangs of despis’d love, the law’s delay, The insolence of office, and the spurnsThat patient merit of th’ unworthy takes, When he himself might his quietus make With a bare bodkin? Who would these fardels bear,To grunt and sweat under a weary life, But that the dread of something after death-The undiscover’d country, from whose bourn No traveller returns- puzzles the will, And makes us rather bear those ills we have Than fly to others that we know not of? Thus conscience does make cowards of us all, And thus the native hue of resolutionIs sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought, And enterprises of great pith and moment With this regard their currents turn awry And lose the name of action.- Soft you now!The fair Ophelia!- Nymph, in thy orisons Be all my sins rememb’red. And now, after a nice bath of French, Portuguese, and Italian, we get Babeled Hamlet: > [@](#): > > For being, or to be which it is not the question: If ’ the tis more noble in the spirit in order to suffer to the sustentations and the arrows from the dishonourable wealth or in order to make examination of the arms to come to contact to a sea of the problems and affinchè the opposition them rifiniscano. In order to die not to sleep more not; and affinchè a sleep we say we let for rifinire the unfortunate case it it love and the normal school that of the thousand meats of shocksThat is to the heir with ’ Tis consummation a Devoutly with being given of D. of desire ’ to the sleep. In order to sleep perchance to dream: ay, it has the strap of the contact! It is arrested in this sleep of the defunct ones that the dreams can come when we scrambled here to this aforesaid mortal of rolling, having in the debit the breach they. It has the respect that renders to calamity of the long life therefore. In order which sustentation the whips and despises the period, evil of the oppressor of Th ', the fierce man contumely, pains of the love of they you undress D, the delay of the law, insolence of the office and plays this patient deserves the dishonourable spark catchers of Th ', once adapted could the relative one quietus make with a bodkin undressed? Which these fardels would support, grogneraient and suderebbero under a life tired, but that the fear of something after the dead women the country to undiscover ’ D, than Bourn no traveller gives back from the enigmas and within he stimulates them rather to support these defects that haveThan we pilot to what we do not know? Therefore the conscience makes cobardes of we the all and a tone of the indígeno of the selector of resolutionIs sicklied therefore or ’ er with the iron of the mildew the pale of the thought and the company of zucchino and large of the moment with this respect that relative rollback of the right-hander currents and distrugg the name of the action - morbidezza that you maintain! To right of Ophelia! - the crisalide, in the left part of we that the orisons thy it is red color of all the rememb of the mine of the sins '. Great idea for a thread Bobort! ---
**Author:** ![panamajack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/47e85d/32.png) [@panamajack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panamajack)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2000, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-comedy-of-babelfish/18806/27 "2000-05-09T05:29:32Z")
I stuck in a choice bit from John Donne : > [@](#): > > But who can remove it from that bell which is passing a piece of himself out of this world? > > No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend’s or of thine own were. Any man’s death diminishes me because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee. . . I tried to get the two best bits from the series below to come out in the same translation, but I couldn’t, so I’m putting both up : English-Span.-Eng-Ger.-Eng-Ital. > [@](#): > > But who can cancel from this warning, that she leads a part of this world? > > A island is not a man, discovers; every man is a part of the continent, a part of the tube. If the clod far away from the sea it is washed, it been Europe at least, therefore like, if promontory it were, therefore like, if manor of the friend, than they it is, or they were to possess one. The dead women of every possible man reduce to me, because they are suggested in the humanity; and therefore she never does not transmit, for knowing for, which she touches the warning; rings for thee… I have no idea where the dead women come from, but it has something to do with the Ger. followed by Italian. And again (the last bit of this is the best): > [@](#): > > But which can erase this support, which carries out part of this world? > > An island is whole, no man of if; each man is part of the continent, part of the principal line. If clod that it more washed sea, is smaller Europe, therefore like, if promontory were, therefore like, if a manor of the friend, which or yours to have it yours is, were. Died to the whole man who is, because they must be also included in humanity; and not never to know for which thus sounds the transfer the dial tone of support; it pays thee… (bell turned to flange turned to support which gives us the weird call to customer service at the end …) This is a great thread. Hope it keeps going. panama jack * * * All mankind is of one author and is one volume; when one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language, and every chapter must be so translated. God employs several translators … or, alternatively : All humanity must charge with an author and must cut out; if a man becomes to die, a section on a book was not violently not torn, but violently, it is translated with a better language, therefore and each section must he translated to be. God uses some translators … ---
**Author:** ![Shadenwawa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3da27b/32.png) [@Shadenwawa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shadenwawa)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2000, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-comedy-of-babelfish/18806/28 "2000-05-09T15:43:47Z")
BUMP (which, by the way, translated to “to indicate associated”). -Shad Can’t let this one die. Too funny. ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2000, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-comedy-of-babelfish/18806/29 "2000-05-09T19:55:56Z")
Here’s a line from the French knights in “Holy Grail”. Original: “Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a windows dresser! Your mother is a hamster, and you father smells of elderberries!” After English-Spanish-English-German-French-English: “They go, its lower parts, to cook you him children with the panel of Sid of Windows! Your mother is more hámster, and you fix the odors of bays of the x27£5 older!” I don’t know WHERE it got the “x27£5” at, but I just about died laughing when I got this. ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2000, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-comedy-of-babelfish/18806/30 "2000-05-09T20:13:18Z")
Here’s one from “The Terminator” himself. Original: “I’ll be back.” Translation English-German-English-Italian-English-French-German-English: “They are in the back.” ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2000, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-comedy-of-babelfish/18806/31 "2000-05-09T20:19:11Z")
From any James Bond movie… Original: “Shaken, not stirred.” Translated English-French-English-Italian-English: “Mental patient, not stirred in on.” ---
**Author:** ![Wicked\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/2acd7d/32.png) [@Wicked\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wicked_Blue)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2000, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-comedy-of-babelfish/18806/32 "2000-05-09T21:42:16Z")
I decided to borrow Boborts sig line and run it through. ‘He who refuses to do arithmetic is doomed to talk nonsense.’ After a few rounds in the babelfish, I got: ‘Refusal that the end to give form to the Arithmetic has condemned, around to the total of the examination the end to speak’ I did English, French, English, German, English, Italian, English, Portugese, English. 🙂 Rose ---
**Author:** ![Doobieous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/da6949/32.png) [@Doobieous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doobieous)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2000, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-comedy-of-babelfish/18806/33 "2000-05-10T01:07:30Z")
The way I translated the following phrase was from English \> French \> German \> Italian \> Portuguese \> Spanish This is from a song by Basement Jaxx, called “You Can’t Stop Me”: I got sixteen seconds and I don’t want to stop / Got no time for the present, living on a spinning top / I got satan on the TV, I’ve got god in a frame / I say hello for a second then you won’t see me again And here is the end result: I have had in the second of the sixteen and would wish not to stop. No time for the gift must conserve alive creature, in an expensive outpost of the restoration nonupdated. They are I transformed the interior into Satan with the television, I that I have a God in a field. The legend hello for the second, then ones does not examine I. I think the “must conserve alive creature” is the funniest part. Interesting how babelfish can slaughter phrases translated through each language like that. ---
**Author:** ![panamajack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/47e85d/32.png) [@panamajack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panamajack)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2000, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-comedy-of-babelfish/18806/34 "2000-05-10T20:32:25Z")
Mutilating bogie … from the end of _Casablanca_ > [@](#): > > I’m saying it because it’s true. Inside of us we both know you belong with Victor. You’re part of his work, the thing that keeps him going. If that plane leaves the ground and you’re not on it, you’ll regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon, and for the rest of your life. > > But what about us? > > We’ll always have Paris. Run through French, Italian, and Portuguese : > [@](#): > > I say because he must line up. To the inward of we all the two soaps that you belong with the winner. License of fairies of its work, the thing that carries through it. If this airplane to leave the land and you will not be in the advanced part, if regret it. Perhaps not today, perhaps not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of its life. > > But and we? > > We will always have Paris. Interesting note – the last line didn’t come back out right until the last time through (went through English each time). panama jack * * * do not ask, what can do your country for you, but which you can form for your country. - talking Kennedy by John F. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-comedy-of-babelfish/18806.md?page=1)