# The concept of affirmative consent for sexual encounters **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [October 2, 2013, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-concept-of-affirmative-consent-for-sexual-encounters/670147 "2013-10-02T00:26:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 4\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![KarlGrenze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dbc845/32.png) [@KarlGrenze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGrenze)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-concept-of-affirmative-consent-for-sexual-encounters/670147/221 "2013-10-10T09:06:08Z")
First I apologize for my outburst. **blindyboard** , that may not be your experience, but it has been mine (women asking men and being rejected) and my friends. I also don’t see a reference to refusing to buy a guy a drink. Most of the times, even if I do want to buy a guy, any guy, a drink, he’ll refuse me. Because they’ve been conditioned by society that they do not accept drinks from women, they’re the ones buying them. Back to the OP, I am uncomfortable that some men are ignoring ambiguous signals in an effort to get laid, when there will be other chances, and those unambiguous chances would probably be better lays than someone who is not enthusiastic. ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Chitwood)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-concept-of-affirmative-consent-for-sexual-encounters/670147/222 "2013-10-10T13:25:36Z")
> [@Jragon](#): > > It’s pretty close. In a system where you’re innocent until proven guilty, victim testimony is important, but only in the presence of more definitive corroborating evidence. Otherwise I could just go around accusing everyone of stealing from me. It also seems to me to be bad form to give victim testimony any more weight than defendant testimony, at least up until the point it’s already become clear what went down through the means of other evidence. Maybe “hearsay” wasn’t the right term, but it still feels incredibly empty when the only people who know what happened are the purported victim and purported rapist.\* You can just go around accusing everyone of stealing from you, and somebody can go to jail on nothing but your say-so. It sounds like you’re taking issue with some bedrock concepts of the justice system, and fair enough, but I’m not sure these are issues specifically germane to this school’s affirmative consent policy (in addition to the fact that it’s not actually part of the justice system). There’s no special exception in play here with respect to testimony of the victim. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-concept-of-affirmative-consent-for-sexual-encounters/670147/223 "2013-10-10T13:49:39Z")
> [@KarlGrenze](#): > > Back to the OP, I am uncomfortable that some men are ignoring ambiguous signals in an effort to get laid, when there will be other chances, and those unambiguous chances would probably be better lays than someone who is not enthusiastic. I’m beginning to realize that some people have really crappy sex, and think it’s the good stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e47c2d/32.png) [@Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hershele_Ostropoler)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-concept-of-affirmative-consent-for-sexual-encounters/670147/224 "2013-10-10T23:48:35Z")
> [@Jragon](#): > > It’s pretty close. In a system where you’re innocent until proven guilty, victim testimony is important, but only in the presence of more definitive corroborating evidence. Otherwise I could just go around accusing everyone of stealing from me. It also seems to me to be bad form to give victim testimony any more weight than defendant testimony, at least up until the point it’s already become clear what went down through the means of other evidence. IANAL, but it seems to me that swearing contests (which I believe is the term you’re looking for) happen in crimes other than rape. And no, victim testimony isn’t close to hearsay either. Hearsay doesn’t mean “testimony I don’t believe” or “testimony from a witness I don’t consider reliable”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-concept-of-affirmative-consent-for-sexual-encounters/670147.md?page=11)