# The Coolest Job Ever **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 22, 2001, 10:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-coolest-job-ever/88836 "2001-10-22T10:04:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2001, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-coolest-job-ever/88836/21 "2001-10-22T22:09:13Z")
I must say this thread struck a chord with me. I do research for the Navy. Yep, “Navel” Research. ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2001, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-coolest-job-ever/88836/22 "2001-10-22T22:14:17Z")
**cherchercher** is in her Navel Lab doing research: “Yup, we can get about 2 cc’s more lint in that puppy!” Sorry, it just struck me as funny. -Rue. (once again) ---
**Author:** ![NothingMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b77776/32.png) [@NothingMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NothingMan)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2001, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-coolest-job-ever/88836/23 "2001-10-22T22:23:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rue DeDay \* > \*\*I still have my Claxton Fruitcakes. It’s not the same, but they’ll have to do. > -Rue. \*\* Whoa ! I didn’t know that anyone outside of Georgia (or perhaps the southeast) even knew about Claxton Fruitcakes . . . used to have them every Christmas as a kid. I don’t think I could stomach one anymore, you could build a house with those things. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2001, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-coolest-job-ever/88836/24 "2001-10-22T22:28:24Z")
hehehehehe > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rue DeDay \* > \*\*Naval Oranges are trés important. They keep the scurvy dogs from barking. > \*\* I just thought of a way to cure **Anal Scurvy** , but I do not think he’s a going to like it. Although perhaps oranges or grapes wouldn’t be as unpleasant as pineapples. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sophie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/35a633/32.png) [@Sophie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sophie)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2001, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-coolest-job-ever/88836/25 "2001-10-22T22:31:31Z")
Bonjour, **Rue Dabaga**. I love your stories. I have two things, and while some might not consider this a “real” list, I’ll number my points, anyhoo: 1. There is a Stuckey’s twenty minutes from where I live. Whenever we come home from Nashville, we stop in. 2. I think the coolest job in the world would be naming fingernail polish and lipstick, like Unforgettable Fire Red lipstick or Natural Spring Blue nail polish. I really want to do this for a living. There’s talk in the office where I work of disconnecting us from the internet to save money. How will I make it through Monday without reading what **Rue** has to say? ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2001, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-coolest-job-ever/88836/26 "2001-10-23T00:18:59Z")
Back to front, just 'cause I’m in a chatty mood… O **Sophalicious One** (OK, a stretch, but it was either that or a “sofa” joke. I think I made the right decision.) 1. Nashville Tennessee or Nashville Indiana? (those are the only two I know) Not that it matters much. If there’s a Dopefest at your house, I’m coming. (As long as you schedule around me.) & B) If you fill in your Bio, I’ll e-mail you each and every Monday. (Untill I forget. Then you’ll have to e-mail me a kick in the butt.) (Offer only good for you, and if they yank your internet. The Rat-Bastards.) **Shibb** … A) Do you check your e-mail? Just a random Rue Question. It’s what I do. & 2. I think **cherchercher** ’s research might help **A. Scurvy**. Only substitue oranges for lint and you have to substitue for the navel too. Unless you have a _lot_ of oranges. **Man de Nada** , oh yeah, baby, I know about [Claxton](http://www.claxtonfruitcake.com/). I have fond memories of going to the bank with Mom during the holidays and there were a pile of Claxtons being sold to raise money for the Kiwanis. Baked goods you could buy in a bank. A little bit od trivia: You can get three individually wrapped one pound bricks at Sam’s Club, all in one box. I found this out Friday. I’m down to 1/2 pound now. Nearly time to restock. They freeze, you know. ---
**Author:** ![MoodIndigo1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@MoodIndigo1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoodIndigo1)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2001, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-coolest-job-ever/88836/27 "2001-10-23T01:27:11Z")
**Rue De Day** writes: > [@](#): > > Man de Nada, oh yeah, baby, I know about Claxton. I have fond memories of going to the bank with Mom during the holidays and there were a pile of Claxtons being sold to raise money for the Kiwanis. > > Baked goods you could buy in a bank. > > A little bit od trivia: You can get three individually wrapped one pound bricks at Sam’s Club, all in one box. I live in Montreal and I know ONE place that sells Claxton’s fruit cakes, and in the 3-brick box, and it’s a drugstore!! I love them, I buy them every year. I think I would sell my soul for a few pecan pralines from Louisiana. \ ---
**Author:** ![lel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8797f3/32.png) [@lel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lel)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2001, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-coolest-job-ever/88836/28 "2001-10-23T07:29:49Z")
Ooh, a [list](http://www.wunderland.com/WTS/Rash/stuckey.html) of open Stuckey’s. I knew there had to be some, because I bought a pecan roll at a Stuckey’s in Arizona in 1999. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2001, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-coolest-job-ever/88836/29 "2001-10-23T12:47:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lel \* > \*\*Ooh, a [list](http://www.wunderland.com/WTS/Rash/stuckey.html) of open Stuckey’s. > > I knew there had to be some, because I bought a pecan roll at a Stuckey’s in Arizona in 1999. \*\* [sub]hehehehe[/sub] What are the odds? There is a Stuckey’s _in_ Yeehaw Junction. This places almost screams out for a visit from **Rue**! Although from the list that **lel** pointed out, I would say Plant City might be the closest to your vacation, unless you head toward Jax to visit **FairyChatMom**. Good luck! ---
**Author:** ![Sophie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/35a633/32.png) [@Sophie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sophie)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2001, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-coolest-job-ever/88836/30 "2001-10-23T14:39:29Z")
**Rue** , you have yelled at me before about my profile. I will have you know that all necessary email information is in my profile. Neener neener neener. And to answer your question: Nashville, Tennessee. ---
**Author:** ![Gartog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/22d042/32.png) [@Gartog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gartog)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2001, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-coolest-job-ever/88836/31 "2001-10-23T15:00:02Z")
**cher3** As you are a Navel researcher, perhaps you have seen/heard of the girl who can fit 6 50 pence pices into her navel, impressive eh? ---
**Author:** ![Gartog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/22d042/32.png) [@Gartog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gartog)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2001, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-coolest-job-ever/88836/32 "2001-10-23T15:05:08Z")
> [@](#): > > Rue posts so early because he is a nice young man and wants to make sure that I have something ticklish to read with my Monday morning coffee, no matter what time I should arise. It has nothing to do with that being the only quiet time when the boys and Mrs. DeDay are asleep. Thanks, **ShibbOleth** I thought that after I had posted. I thought to myself 'I bet he posts so early so that whatever time **ShibbOleth** gets up she[sub]you are a she right? if not sorry[/sub] has somthing to read with her Moday morning coffee. ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2001, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-coolest-job-ever/88836/33 "2001-10-23T15:22:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sophie \* > **Rue, you have yelled at me before about my profile.** Yell? Did I yell? I’m so terribly sorry. If there’s anything I can do to make it up to you, just let me know. The whole “Bio” thing is just part of my shtick. Fill it out, leave it blank, what can I do about it? (Mainly I just check to find out where people are from.) (And their stated gender if it comes to it.) [sub]pssst… Gartog, Shibb’s a boy.[/sub] -Rue. (who’ll try to yell less) ---
**Author:** ![Sophie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/35a633/32.png) [@Sophie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sophie)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2001, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-coolest-job-ever/88836/34 "2001-10-23T15:27:43Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Rue DeDay > > Yell? Did I yell? Sweet **Rue Dabaga**! It was merely a figure of speech. A thousand pardons. Let me make up for it buy sending you a Pecan Log, or at least a post card with a pic of Mr. Presley on the front. ---
**Author:** ![Gartog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/22d042/32.png) [@Gartog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gartog)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2001, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-coolest-job-ever/88836/35 "2001-10-23T15:58:43Z")
> [@](#): > > [sub]pssst… Gartog, Shibb’s a boy. > [/sub] Umm Sorry :o Here have a glass of Beer and lets talk about the game and revel in our masculinity . . . .or something. ---
**Author:** ![Zappo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b3f665/32.png) [@Zappo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zappo)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2001, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-coolest-job-ever/88836/36 "2001-10-23T17:11:31Z")
Greetings Mr. **DeDay** , The navel observer position might not be for me. But the spontaneous street gynecologist job sounds interesting. I don’t know, though. . .I have a bad back and carrying that table around could be trouble. However, I have my dream job all picked out. I wanna be a car dealer. Not just 'cuz I love cars, but because it’ll give me an excuse to wear hideous clothes and scream really loud on local TV. I have the first commerical all planned out. . . FADE IN to ZAPPO, wearing an electric-blue suit with leather patches on the shoulders and a flap hanky pocket, white Stetson, bolo tie and snakeskin boots. In place of a shirt, the bolo tie hangs across the front of a fastened straitjacket. ZAPPO: Hi folks, it’s [Zappo’s real name] for Southaven Buick/Pontiac/GMC and Southaven Chrysler/Jeep, as always on Route 5 next to Wal-Mart. It’s the end of the model year and everything must go! Right, darlin’? **SOPHIE** (off camera): That’s right, sweet lamb! ZAPPO: I’m making absolutely innnnnnnn-saaaaaaane deals on every new 2001 car in stock! My accountant wants to shoot me! My insurance agent won’t return my calls! My lawyer is trying to have me committed! My wife won’t talk to me! Ain’t that right, sugar? **SOPHIE** (still off camera): Damn straight, sweetie pie! ZAPPO: And if a new car ain’t in the budget this year, come see our selection of clean pre-loved country creampuffs and certified used cars! So, come on down to Southaven Buick/Pontiac/GMC and Southaven Chrysler/Jeep, as always on Route 5 next to Wal-Mart. You’ll be glad you did. I wanna give 'em away but the missus won’t let me! She’s craaaaaaazy! CUT to WIDE SHOT, showing **SOPHIE** standing next to ZAPPO, dressed to the nines and brandishing a frying pan as ZAPPO looks on with fear (and a bit of anticipation, perhaps?) in his eyes and on his face. FADE OUT to logo card showing name, phone numbers and URL Yes, I have a lot of free time. Why do you ask? Zap ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2001, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-coolest-job-ever/88836/37 "2001-10-23T17:43:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gartog \* > Here have a glass of Beer and lets talk about the game and revel in our masculinity . . . .or something. \*\* S’cool, the name hardly leads one to a gender. But **beer** , yes, that’s a good thing. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-coolest-job-ever/88836.md?page=1)