# The Court may finally force my neighbor to eat his own shit. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 28, 2003, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-court-may-finally-force-my-neighbor-to-eat-his-own-shit/158191 "2003-02-28T18:22:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-court-may-finally-force-my-neighbor-to-eat-his-own-shit/158191/61 "2003-03-01T05:29:36Z")
Oh, go fuck yourself, essvee. Bippy didn’t respond politely at all & your asinine comment doesn’t even come close to polite. Read what I posted on page one. Had it been me instead of lieu involved in that situation with the loony neighbour, I’d probably be in more trouble than lieu is. What I wouldn’t do is whine about getting myself into trouble. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-court-may-finally-force-my-neighbor-to-eat-his-own-shit/158191/62 "2003-03-01T05:44:27Z")
I said: “I took a couple of deep breaths and went over to let him tell me it was an accident.” **Monty** , I do respect your opinion and those that might take a 20/20 hindward stance with you. That’s peachy keen that you’ll turn your back on someone that’s threatened your child and anyone you’ve promised to have and hold till death do you part. I’m of the opinion that men should be able to look each other in the eye and justify their actions to each other. I looked Bill in the eye and he told me my 16 month old daughter deserved any danger that might come her way because her father let pine needles from a 90 year old tree fall on her driveway. Furthermore, he had no problem with my wife or I suffering physically as well which would, of course, create additional suffering for our child. That’s great that you have no line in the sand, Monty, regarding how far you’ll let a fucking bastard push you. Obviously the Police do indeed need to be there for your family to ever feel safe. Maybe I should have let the guy with the 45 enter my house before and then reached for the phone? Maybe I should have let Bill turn the tire iron on my back as well as my front before I called for those that had failed us before? I hope you live in a nice, secure, 24 hours a day total security, camera laden, fantasy love pit. I don’t, nor do I want to. I still have some expectations of personal responsibility, both for myself and for others. I can’t remember any time when I’ve been the first not to measure up. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-court-may-finally-force-my-neighbor-to-eat-his-own-shit/158191/63 "2003-03-01T05:46:35Z")
Obviously… pine needles fall on _his_ driveway. ---
**Author:** ![gus28](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6de8d8/32.png) [@gus28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gus28)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-court-may-finally-force-my-neighbor-to-eat-his-own-shit/158191/64 "2003-03-01T05:55:43Z")
I had a really nice and long response to this, reread it and realized that I shared way TMI about myself on a public message board. Just chiming in to say that I was in very similiar shoes to you not too long ago myself and the case was dismissed (and you seem to have a better case than mine). I know that I’m only hearing one side of the story here, but I’m definitely on your side. Good luck to you and your family. (And don’t break this guy’s breath tube again until you have saved up another $7000, credit card debt sucks) ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-court-may-finally-force-my-neighbor-to-eat-his-own-shit/158191/65 "2003-03-01T05:59:29Z")
Jesus fucking Christ Monty… > [@](#): > > What I wouldn’t do is whine about getting myself into trouble. You sir are a fucking prick. Do you hear me **Monty**? You’re a fucking prick! I honestly don’t know what to say to you. Where in the fuck does my concern ever appear to be in regard to anything but the safety of my family? DrDeth and kung fu lola I can respect. You… I can’t. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-court-may-finally-force-my-neighbor-to-eat-his-own-shit/158191/66 "2003-03-01T06:10:26Z")
And you fucking can’t read, can you, lieu? I clearly said that had it been me in that situation, I would probably have gone and fetched something myself and gotten myself into more trouble than you got yourself into. Yes, you got yourself into that. You ask where the concern for your family is. I ask you the same thing. Where was it? It certainly wasn’t in your machismo. That’s pretty much what it really boils down to. Yes, you should be concerned with the safety of your family. So, you believe there’s someone nearby who intends to target your family. I can buy that. What I can’t buy is that you went over there to “let him apologize.” I don’t give a whit about your respect. You know why? Because you are incredibly stupid. Had you not gone over there to initiate a confrontation between you and Bill, there would have been no tire iron and no punch involved. That’s called reality. Had you believed that your family was in danger, then you would’ve gone over there armed yourself. Had you acted intelligently, you would’ve called the police. Remember, you acted on what you heard happened and not on what you know happened. Again: you are stupid and I don’t give a rat’s rear end about your respect. You, sir, are not worth it. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-court-may-finally-force-my-neighbor-to-eat-his-own-shit/158191/67 "2003-03-01T06:21:13Z")
And, if you read exactly what I wrote, you’ll–just maybe–notice that I admit I probably wouldn’t’ve acted much differently. Well, I wouldv’e viewed the aftermath of my actions in a different manner than you appear to. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-court-may-finally-force-my-neighbor-to-eat-his-own-shit/158191/68 "2003-03-01T06:43:08Z")
Your hipocracy makes a legitimate discussion with you difficult at best. > [@](#): > > Had you not gone over there to initiate a confrontation between you and Bill, there would have been no tire iron and no punch involved. I went over so I could hear him say there’d been a mistake. Nope, he said he’d intentionally tried to scare my child and 67 year old nanny. > [@](#): > > Had you believed that your family was in danger, then you would’ve gone over there armed yourself. Seriously, you think I should have initially tried to diffuse the situation with a cricket bat? > [@](#): > > Remember, you acted on what you heard happened and not on what you know happened. Although I’m immeniently more inclined to believe my wife, I still went over with the hope this was all a misunderstanding. So let me get this straight **Monty** … do what you say but not what you’d do because your response would have been more violent than mine? Again… peachy. > [@](#): > > Well, I wouldv’e viewed the aftermath of my actions in a different manner than you appear to. I’m remorseful it happened, prepared to call the Police first next time if given a chance but fully prepared to act to insure my family’s safety if need be. And you? ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-court-may-finally-force-my-neighbor-to-eat-his-own-shit/158191/69 "2003-03-01T06:45:32Z")
lieu: To you & to me: Take another breath. Calm down. Relax. Contemplate the advice minty green gave you above. I understand you’re excited that the aftermath of the confrontation is finally moving towards the trial stage. This thread might be better off being born afterwards. Heck, you should, IMHO, get probation. Problem with that, though, is you still get that conviction hanging around your neck forever. Now, how about not taking cheap shots, said shots not even remotely based in fact? I don’t think I took any shots at you, cheap or otherwise. Heck, read the favorite posters thread and you’ll see that I posted _agreed_ to another person’s opinion of you as “a gas.” (Presumably, that’s a good thing, being “a gas.”) Well, I could’ve said “complain about” instead of “whine about.” But, this is the pit and, like I said, I’d probably be in a galaxy of hurt had I that loon for a neighbour. I’m single. In my church, we usually don’t marry only “until death do us part”–we’re in it for the long haul: eternity. I don’t have a driveway, as I live in an apartment complex. I am baffled by two things, though. (1) You evidently think ol’ Bill is mentally ill to the point that he’s not responsible for his actions. Why confront him at all? (2) Why do you blame the current cops for other cops’ screwup? (Or am I just reading that into what you posted?) Maybe blaming the current crop of cop is a thread in its own right? ---
**Author:** ![Teelo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@Teelo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Teelo)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-court-may-finally-force-my-neighbor-to-eat-his-own-shit/158191/70 "2003-03-01T06:54:41Z")
**lieu** , hi. One thing I have learned with dealing with this Character known as **Monty** , is don’t. Yeah, he has good opinions, but to him thats the only opinion. Plus all those nice profanities and insults don’t really put me on his side either. I could go on, but hey it’s best to learn from your own experiences. **lieu** I absolutely would have done the same thing as you. _clap clap_ Some self lessons I have been teaching myself, is to never take extreme bullshit, and to always find some logical excuse for actions that don’t favor you. You walked over there, smart, prepared, and reasonable, and tried to make amends with him. He threw it in your face, threatened you and your family. He asked for it. This guy is mentally ill, and fucking stupid. It sucks that you were made to be the “bad guy”. Good luck. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-court-may-finally-force-my-neighbor-to-eat-his-own-shit/158191/71 "2003-03-01T06:56:13Z")
And what I’ve learned from you, Teelo, is that you do little more than lie. That’s why I rarely, if ever, deal with you. ---
**Author:** ![Teelo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@Teelo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Teelo)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-court-may-finally-force-my-neighbor-to-eat-his-own-shit/158191/72 "2003-03-01T06:57:31Z")
Love you too Monty. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-court-may-finally-force-my-neighbor-to-eat-his-own-shit/158191/73 "2003-03-01T07:03:38Z")
Fair enough. (1) Like I said, I’d hoped to never speak with him again. He’d returned favors and friendship with jealousy and anger. I’m not sure you ever have enough friends but he obviously was incapable of making the cut. (2) Once burned, twice shy. The Police couldn’t do squat about the guy that shows up at my door with a loaded 45? I figure I’m still here because of a measured but quick response. It’s not something you easily forget. I’m frustrated that he’s incapable of respecting the rights of others and further frustrated that his intolerable actions had a bearing on mine. In this situation I called the Police after first attempting to settle the conflict peacefully. Next time, although I pray there never is one, I’ll simply call the Cops. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-court-may-finally-force-my-neighbor-to-eat-his-own-shit/158191/74 "2003-03-01T07:12:16Z")
Agreed. Fair enough. ---
**Author:** ![gus28](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6de8d8/32.png) [@gus28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gus28)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-court-may-finally-force-my-neighbor-to-eat-his-own-shit/158191/75 "2003-03-01T07:21:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Monty \* > \*\*lieu:Heck, you should, IMHO, get probation. Problem with that, though, is you still get that conviction hanging around your neck forever. > \*\* IANAL-I don’t know about your state, but in Virginia they have something called “delay of sentencing”. If you have no record, you can plead guilty, asking for this beforehand. If the judge sees that there is justifiable circumstances, you are basically sentenced to whatever the judge sees fit. You don’t pay a fine or serve time then though, you come back in a year or two and if you have been a good boy they dismiss the original charge. This is usually only an option though if you have no record and are I’d say at least 26-30 years old. It’s sort of like probation, without the charge ever being on your record. Just trying to find a middle ground for everyone. I do know a few lawyers though that don’t like to do this, because (some, not all) of them have huge egos and consider this a loss. Again, good luck to you. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 9:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-court-may-finally-force-my-neighbor-to-eat-his-own-shit/158191/76 "2003-03-01T09:26:59Z")
I understand **Lieu** ’s actions. I also understand that they were not the best actions. But they were reasonable and appropriate to the situation But about calling the cops at the point just prior to breaking his nose: Why? The cops would have done, precisely, dick. Squat. Nada. Well, the _may_ have \* talked\* to the guy. But nothing beyond that. (what else could they do? it would be he said/he said and no evidence to go on) IMO, this would only make the guy bolder. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 11:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-court-may-finally-force-my-neighbor-to-eat-his-own-shit/158191/77 "2003-03-01T11:26:22Z")
It shouldn’t be against the law for a punch to be thrown in a heated argument between two men. I know that sounds kind of backward, but heck, if you took cases like this and marijuana cases out of the system, we’d probably lighten the load by half! ---
**Author:** ![gus28](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6de8d8/32.png) [@gus28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gus28)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-court-may-finally-force-my-neighbor-to-eat-his-own-shit/158191/78 "2003-03-01T11:37:26Z")
An Arky, spoken like a fellow Virginian. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-court-may-finally-force-my-neighbor-to-eat-his-own-shit/158191/79 "2003-03-01T12:04:41Z")
An Arky, how about punches thrown between two women? Or between a man and a woman? Resorting to physical violence is a no-win situation and will just escalate the hostilities. With that said, lieu, I feel for you and hope that you come out of this smelling like a rose! I agree that the man is a nutcase. Have you considered getting a guard dog? Whatever else you do, from now on start documenting anything and everything that he does to harrass you – date, time, details, etc. ---
**Author:** ![stolatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@stolatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stolatt)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-court-may-finally-force-my-neighbor-to-eat-his-own-shit/158191/80 "2003-03-01T12:28:56Z")
You have all my sympathy. We had a neighbor who was mentally ill (we didn’t know till much later, we thought she was just flat out mean) and she would stomp out of her house screaming if she thought we were anywhere near the property line, among many other things she did. Like you, I like to garden and being out in my yard was scary. Like I had to watch my back all the time. I wouldn’t even let my kid play in the front yard alone. It was really depressing to come home and not even be comfortable there. I was so happy when they moved, I danced. Maybe this idiot will move too. Good luck. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-court-may-finally-force-my-neighbor-to-eat-his-own-shit/158191.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-court-may-finally-force-my-neighbor-to-eat-his-own-shit/158191.md?page=5)