# The crap that is on my local news **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 8, 2021, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crap-that-is-on-my-local-news/946032 "2021-07-08T21:58:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2021, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crap-that-is-on-my-local-news/946032/1 "2021-07-08T21:58:04Z")
For a taste for what is like to live in the Bible Belt, a credulous story where a kid finds a piece of junk in another piece of junk, and everyone involved believes it is the Will of God and their mission to track down the former owner and return their thrown-away battered copy of the most common book in the world to them. > **[Upstate family finds Bible in junkyard with name written inside, searches for...](https://www.wyff4.com/amp/article/simpsonville-family-searching-for-car-parts-finds-bible-in-junkyard-with-clue-to-find-previous-owner/36959451)** > > A Simpsonville family found an old Bible with the name Gay S. Kelly written inside. They're hoping to return it to the family of the owner ---
**Author:** ![Sherrerd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sherrerd/32/8_2.png) [@Sherrerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sherrerd)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2021, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crap-that-is-on-my-local-news/946032/2 "2021-07-08T22:07:45Z")
Weird about the family being thrown by the dedication page (that starts out “to the most high and mighty Prince James”) —which is included in EVERY SINGLE COPY of the King James Version of the Bible, so far as I know. Guess this family had only ever seen the ‘modern translation’ versions of the Bible. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2021, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crap-that-is-on-my-local-news/946032/3 "2021-07-08T22:11:06Z")
The nation is in the middle of a Nielsen sweeps period and this story is presumably intended to attract viewers. ---
**Author:** ![Sherrerd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sherrerd/32/8_2.png) [@Sherrerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sherrerd)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2021, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crap-that-is-on-my-local-news/946032/4 "2021-07-08T22:14:02Z")
I see the station is owned by Hearst Television—not, as I had assumed, Sinclair. Particularly annoying: the reporter’s cheerful chirping of “you could call it divine intervention.” People are entitled to believe as they wish in their private lives, but that type of remark is just not professional. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2021, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crap-that-is-on-my-local-news/946032/5 "2021-07-08T22:42:26Z")
A local personal interest story, on the _local news_, you say? About a Bible in Bible Belt?! News at…well…now I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2021, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crap-that-is-on-my-local-news/946032/6 "2021-07-08T23:01:21Z")
There are three ways this story could end: 1: They never find the guy. 2: They find the guy, and he says something like “Oh, yes, I must have thrown that away accidentally, I’ve been looking all over for it, thank God you helped me!”. 3: They find the guy (or his heirs), and he says something like “Yes, of course it was in the trash, because I threw it out, and of course I had reasons for throwing it out.”. Which one do they actually think is more likely? ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2021, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crap-that-is-on-my-local-news/946032/7 "2021-07-08T23:22:54Z")
Yeah, I think the most likely scenario is that somebody got tired of their battered old bible with pages that are torn and stuck together and bought a new copy, and would be kinda creeped out about someone attempting to return it to them. It isn’t like it has generations of births, deaths, and marrages written in it. (That would have been mentioned.) ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crap-that-is-on-my-local-news/946032/8 "2021-07-09T01:07:57Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > It isn’t like it has generations of births, deaths, and marrages written in it. Well it does but it’s all pretty old stuff by now. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crap-that-is-on-my-local-news/946032/9 "2021-07-09T01:14:26Z")
Cast thou thy Bible upon the trash heap. It will return to you after many days. ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crap-that-is-on-my-local-news/946032/10 "2021-07-09T01:43:03Z")
Family receives free bible, won’t shut the fuck up about it. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crap-that-is-on-my-local-news/946032/11 "2021-07-09T02:22:33Z")
Maybe my meter is just calibrated differently, but I can’t get upset about this one. No one is doing anything that would hurt anyone, nor is it coded political garbage to further the biases of the community. Sure, it’s glurge, but some people like glurge. Personally, though, I’d prefer the types of “good news” stories that Seth Meyers does (did?) where he just shared a full on happy story or celebrated someone for something they did that good or brave. And I totally get why shoehorning God into it is annoying. It’s not even like anything fortuitous happened. I’m sure the idea is “we’ll put it on the news, and maybe they’ll come forward.” And that they were desperate for some sort of “local interest” story. ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Godot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buck_godot/32/6573_2.png) [@Buck\_Godot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Godot)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crap-that-is-on-my-local-news/946032/12 "2021-07-09T03:44:32Z")
Here’s the thing, I think the people searching are barking up the wrong tree, in searching for Gay S. Kelly as the bible owner. {{ lights pipe and puts on deer hunters hat }} The name they found on the bible was just randomly written on one of the pages, it wasn’t in the inside front cover of the bible like it would be if you wanted to claim ownership. It was written there just as a random note. So It probably just some name that the owner of the bible wanted to remember who may or may not know the owner, and even if they did probably wouldn’t recognize their bible. That is of course assuming that its actually a person’s full name. My mind moves the possibility that at some bible study session, Margaret Kelly testifies that her son Stephen has said he’s Gay, and asks that all present to please pray that he gives up this evil lifestyle and finds a nice Christian girl to settle down with. So some woman at the bible study writes down “Gay S. Hunter” on the nearest available piece of paper lest she forget. Alimentary my dear Watson. ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crap-that-is-on-my-local-news/946032/13 "2021-07-09T03:49:57Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > And I totally get why shoehorning God into it is annoying. It’s not even like anything fortuitous happened. That always chaps my ass and feels like a gotcha ya event when I read one. Fine if you’re copacetic with it, I’m jus’ saying it rubs me the wrong way. YMMV ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crap-that-is-on-my-local-news/946032/14 "2021-07-09T16:15:45Z")
_"Greer says his son found the Bible laying on the floor of a van in the junkyard._ _“Things just don’t happen just by chance," Tyler Greer said. "There’s definitely a reason.”_ [![](https://live.staticflickr.com/5343/8786408542_cac5f43f38.jpg) ](https://live.staticflickr.com/5343/8786408542_cac5f43f38.jpg) Now if they’d found a carburetor in the junkyard that had Jesus’ face imprinted on it in grease, that would’ve been newsworthy. ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crap-that-is-on-my-local-news/946032/15 "2021-07-09T16:42:31Z")
I remember a story about a postcard that arrived in a local resident’s mailbox and they were astonished that it was written over 50 years ago. But the addressee was unknown to the family so they alerted the media and by gum what a mystery and the internet sleuthing began. Somebody suggested that it probably came from a collection of old postcards and that whoever had it decided to drop it off for a little fun. The USPS had no comment. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crap-that-is-on-my-local-news/946032/16 "2021-07-09T17:28:54Z")
Do let us know about any followups to the story. I’m really hoping they find Gay Steve and he is quoted as saying “Hey, I don’t hunt you down to return your old trash, do I?” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2021, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crap-that-is-on-my-local-news/946032/17 "2021-07-09T21:50:14Z")
> [@digs](#): > > I’m really hoping they find Gay Steve and he is quoted as saying “What a coincidence; just last week, the same thing happened to my husband Adam!” ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2021, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crap-that-is-on-my-local-news/946032/18 "2021-07-12T17:03:09Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > Cast thou thy Bible upon the trash heap. It will return to you after many days. I just got a fortune cookie that said the same thing. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_McQwark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@Steve\_McQwark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_McQwark)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2021, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crap-that-is-on-my-local-news/946032/19 "2021-07-12T19:02:19Z")
> [@Ike\_Witt](#): > > I just got a fortune cookie that said the same thing. Cast thou thy Bible upon the trash heap. It will return to you after many days… in bed! ---
**Author:** ![Akaj](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/akaj/32/145_2.png) [@Akaj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Akaj)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2021, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crap-that-is-on-my-local-news/946032/20 "2021-07-12T19:15:48Z")
> [@Buck\_Godot](#): > > That is of course assuming that its actually a person’s full name. Right! Can’t discount the possibility that it’s an acronym of SLY YAK LEG. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crap-that-is-on-my-local-news/946032.md?page=2)