# The craziest conspiracy theory I've ever heard (the USPS did 9/11 with magnetic C4!) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 20, 2008, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-craziest-conspiracy-theory-ive-ever-heard-the-usps-did-9-11-with-magnetic-c4/457173 "2008-07-20T19:11:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![OttoDaFe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ottodafe/32/356_2.png) [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2008, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-craziest-conspiracy-theory-ive-ever-heard-the-usps-did-9-11-with-magnetic-c4/457173/21 "2008-07-20T23:45:26Z")
[QUOTE=Cisco] I know this is way too far down the rabbit hole to even bothering debating, but one thing that really kills me is that the towers collapsed in something like 18-21 seconds. It’s not debatable. It’s on video and seismic records agree. The fact that conspiracy nuts keep making up numbers that are lower blows me away. The fact that people believe them is almost beyond comprehension. [/QUOTE] That just goes to show how credulous you are. It’s obvious to anyone who really knows what’s going on (like David-Wynn:Miller/Job) that the Post Office _manipulated time_ to make it _seem_ that the collapse took 18-21 seconds. For an Evil Entity that can turn gravity on and off at its whim, it’s child’s play. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2008, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-craziest-conspiracy-theory-ive-ever-heard-the-usps-did-9-11-with-magnetic-c4/457173/22 "2008-07-20T23:55:04Z")
From his website: > [@](#): > > FOR THE NAME: “UNITED-STATES”, IN A COURT-ROOM-DOCUMENT ARE WITH THE NAME-CLAIM: UNITY-STATES-CORPORATION-VESSEL(U.-S.-C.-V.) AS THE TWO OR MORE-PERSONS WITHIN A CONTRACT-CLOSURE OF A CLOSED-PAPER-COURT-AREA. It must be hard, outsourcing your language skills to Babelfish. I’ve read random Markov chains with more to say than that. [Mark V. Shaney](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_V_Shaney) is Yeats and Milton compared to this guy. > [@Cisco](#): > > It’s not debatable. Some people think it’s debatable whether any planes hit buildings on 9/11. Miller is simply the craziest among the crazies, which doesn’t mean anyone else on his side is sane. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2008, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-craziest-conspiracy-theory-ive-ever-heard-the-usps-did-9-11-with-magnetic-c4/457173/23 "2008-07-21T00:30:09Z")
[QUOTE=Derleth] Some people think it’s debatable whether any planes hit buildings on 9/11. Miller is simply the craziest among the crazies, which doesn’t mean anyone else on his side is sane. [/QUOTE] Right. I said I wouldn’t bother arguing with a guy as obviously out of his mind as the guy in the OP, but there are people who seemingly have _somewhat_ of a brain in their head - Rosie O’Donnel, Jessie Ventura, Charlie Sheen; make all the jokes you want but these are successful people who have more or less got what they wanted out of their lives and careers - _they_ will jump at the opportunity to scream, “FASTER THAN FREEFALL! FASTER THAN FREEFALL! DEFIED THE LAWS OF PHYSICS!” It’s clear as the sun is bright that they’re dead wrong. It’s not fuzzy in the least bit. Every building that fell, including #7, fell considerably _slower_ than freefall speed. That’s one of the things that pisses me off most about the 9/11 nuts: they cannot possibly be mistaken about something so simple. They’re deliberately lying. ---
**Author:** ![movingfinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@movingfinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/movingfinger)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2008, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-craziest-conspiracy-theory-ive-ever-heard-the-usps-did-9-11-with-magnetic-c4/457173/24 "2008-07-21T07:08:16Z")
Sounds like “Full Colon” is the only thing about this guy that is logical. He is clearly full of shit. Besides, everybody knows the USPS had nothing to do with 9/11. It was the Department of Motor Vehicles, and they covered up their actions with their infamous “Cloak of invisibility”. The one their employees use to disguise the fact that they are goofing off at their desks. ---
**Author:** ![jackdavinci](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackdavinci/32/3259_2.png) [@jackdavinci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackdavinci)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2008, 8:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-craziest-conspiracy-theory-ive-ever-heard-the-usps-did-9-11-with-magnetic-c4/457173/25 "2008-07-21T08:44:13Z")
The timecube guy is the Post Master General? ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2008, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-craziest-conspiracy-theory-ive-ever-heard-the-usps-did-9-11-with-magnetic-c4/457173/26 "2008-07-21T09:32:24Z")
Mister full colon Miller, can you say schizophrenia? ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2008, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-craziest-conspiracy-theory-ive-ever-heard-the-usps-did-9-11-with-magnetic-c4/457173/27 "2008-07-21T11:02:13Z")
[QUOTE=picunurse] Mister full colon Miller, can you say schizophrenia? [/QUOTE] Likely not without turning it into ADVERB-VERB-AILING-FICTION-COMMUNICATIONS = NON-WORD first. His is the least comprehensible text I’ve ever read. It still isn’t word salad, I think, but it isn’t fully cogent. ---
**Author:** ![Alive\_At\_Both\_Ends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Alive\_At\_Both\_Ends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alive_At_Both_Ends)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2008, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-craziest-conspiracy-theory-ive-ever-heard-the-usps-did-9-11-with-magnetic-c4/457173/28 "2008-07-21T13:04:30Z")
[QUOTE=Derleth] There’s a whole group or sub-group of mental illnesses that involves mutilating language. I see it way too often on the Internet for it to be a coincidence. [/QUOTE] So, what illness is this guy suffering from? Is there anyone here with knowledge of psychiatry who would care to try a diagnosis? (Or is that not possible without getting him on the couch? I don’t really know much about psychiatry.) ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2008, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-craziest-conspiracy-theory-ive-ever-heard-the-usps-did-9-11-with-magnetic-c4/457173/29 "2008-07-21T13:32:38Z")
[QUOTE=Alive At Both Ends] So, what illness is this guy suffering from? Is there anyone here with knowledge of psychiatry who would care to try a diagnosis? (Or is that not possible without getting him on the couch? I don’t really know much about psychiatry.) [/QUOTE] I don’t think you’re going to get a reasonable diagnosis without someone actually examining him, but [hypergraphia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypergraphia) is a symptom of many mental disorders, and “disorganized thinking” can be a symptom of schizophrenia, bipolar mania, and other conditions. So in conclusion, he’s nuts. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-craziest-conspiracy-theory-ive-ever-heard-the-usps-did-9-11-with-magnetic-c4/457173/30 "2010-04-13T00:21:29Z")
You people laugh but the post office has been involved in countless henious crimes at least as willing middlemen throughout the years. Watch crime TV shows sometime. You will see that the postman often played a major role in the conspiracy. It makes perfect sense. If you see a random person walking up and down your street every day up to houses and opening things at will what do you do? You call the police. When that person wears dorky shorts and drives a crappy van (with the steering wheel on the wrong side I might add just like foreign people from other countries, what do you do? Nothing except wave and smile. The Post Office has access to EVERYTING INCLUDING YOU"RE HOUSE and NO ONE EVEN NOTICES. Even if they bitch-slap your poodle FOR NO REASON, they have a government sanctioned defense for it. These people can slip in and out of ANY BIULDING and know one EVen Cares. They have planes as well. I rest my case and I expect you to step away from your keyboard at this point because there is no WAy to refuite that. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-craziest-conspiracy-theory-ive-ever-heard-the-usps-did-9-11-with-magnetic-c4/457173/31 "2010-04-13T00:25:54Z")
I don’t know whether **Shagnasty** is being funny (on purpose) or not. ---
**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-craziest-conspiracy-theory-ive-ever-heard-the-usps-did-9-11-with-magnetic-c4/457173/32 "2010-04-13T00:53:30Z")
> [@](#): > > At the moment of collapse, $12 trillion was transferred electronically from the basement of the trade center to Singapore. “The World Trade Center was a bank robbery,” Miller reveals, “very cleverly engineered.” I knew it! The WTC was actually destroyed by Hans Gruber!! I’ll bet that $12 trillion is financing the Asian Dawn right now!!!1! ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-craziest-conspiracy-theory-ive-ever-heard-the-usps-did-9-11-with-magnetic-c4/457173/33 "2010-04-13T01:38:49Z")
Is this a conspiracy by _Zombies_!?!?!?! :eek: Closed. **twickster** , MPSIMS moderator [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-craziest-conspiracy-theory-ive-ever-heard-the-usps-did-9-11-with-magnetic-c4/457173.md?page=1)