The craziest story a friend ever told you that may have been true . . .

In My Humble Opinion
21

The weirdest person I’ve ever met claimed she meet a man who was (falsely) in jail for murder, she married him, he was released, then (falsely) put back in prison for rape and robbery. I found out in bits and pieces that the (falsely) parts weren’t true. He had a habit of picking up, beating and robbing prostitutes. One pimp got wise to him, met him in a bar and they took it outside. The guy came back into the bar covered with blood, but claimed the pimp had already been dead, killed by someone else. He was convicted with a light sentence.

After he got out of prison, he continued his actions with the hookers. The police caught him with one hooker and charged him with solicitation and assault because she was very bruised). Several other hookers came forth and stated that he had picked them up, beat them, forced them into oral sex and then robbed them. His wife was furious that he had been convicted of having sex with hookers. She didn’t see anything wrong with picking them up, beating and robbing them, but she knew he hadn’t been having any sex with them and that the women and the police were all lying about her husband.

22

Back in the day (and long before I could drive) I was told the story of how the brother of a friend of a friend lost his license for drunk driving. He and his buddy went with older brothers & older brother’s friends to the clubs down at the Jersey Shore. The older brothers drank to stinking excess…and the by the time the clubs kiscked them all out into the parking lot, the only two sober were the two 15 year olds. So, they piled the drunken slobs into the backseat and proceeded to try to drive home on the GSP Northbound. Unfortunately, well above the speed limit.

As the whirring of the siren approached from the rear, the other sober person grabbed a wallet out of the pocket of the nearest sloppy drunk to present to the cop.

The cop walks up. “License & registration.”

The kid pulls a license out of the wallet which isn’t his & hands it to the cop.

The unamused cop hands it back and says “Listen, Joker, thats an Airplane License.”

To which the kid supposedly replied, “I know, officer, but I was really flyin’…!”

23

Yep. No question about that. This isn’t the most horrific story about him, either.

Another crazy story, not from a friend, as such, but in the spirit of the OP. Many years ago I picked up a hitchhiker, and we got to talking. He was from Arizona, near Tucson, and I had relatives there, so we got to talking about the area. I mentioned visiting Colossal Cave, and he told me a story about a lost cavern.

It was the summer between junior high and high school, and he was too young to drive, but living in the boonies – desert boonies, at that – he and a friend took off one day in a beat-up old jeep, intending to visit a distant spring, hoping to go swimming in the pool.

They found the spring, but the pool was almost empty – a lower level than he’d ever seen. There was a hole in the side of the hill, newly exposed due to the level of the water being so low. This was, of course, irresistible to the young teens. It turned out to be a fairly large cave, with tunnels that climbed up into the hill, but they couldn’t explore it too far because they didn’t have lights. Most interestingly, he said the parts of the cave that they did explore were filled with rock paintings.

They left, and came back the next day prepared to explore the cave, but the water level had risen. He didn’t have diving gear, and never got the chance to get at the entrance again, although he continued to check every summer.

He told me the name of the spring, but I can’t remember it – this was over 25 years ago. I do wonder if the story was true, and if any archaeologist ever explored the cave.

24

I can verify Al’s story. I was in the restaurant in Detroit that day in a corner booth where the jukebox worked good. I saw the whole thing go down.

I saw the guy in the back seat give the first guy a thumbs up and the first guy give them $5,000.

Now its my story to do what I want with.