# "The crazy": More common among men or women? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 23, 2011, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crazy-more-common-among-men-or-women/600573 "2011-10-23T21:02:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2011, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crazy-more-common-among-men-or-women/600573/21 "2011-10-24T13:27:49Z")
I think it just depends on whether you’re a woman or a man. Women know more crazy men; men know more crazy women. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2011, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crazy-more-common-among-men-or-women/600573/22 "2011-10-24T15:22:15Z")
The ‘crazy’ is defined in a way more likely to applied to women. But both men and women are susceptible to irrational behavior. It’s kind of what makes you human. I’m never irrational though, because although I’m a hybrid, most of my genes are Neanderthal. We consider all of you naked apes to be nutcases. ---
**Author:** ![Bloodless\_Turnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@Bloodless\_Turnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bloodless_Turnip)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2011, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crazy-more-common-among-men-or-women/600573/23 "2011-10-24T15:40:35Z")
> [@eclectic\_wench](#): > > I figure I count as group c), since I’ve always had close friends of both sexes. In my experience, the crazy is evenly split between the sexes, but the way it manifests is different. > > A guy who has the crazy tends to keep that cloud more focused, so that only the person he’s involved with really sees the full extent of it - close friends (or ‘friends’) get a medium dose, **but to anyone outside the inner circle he could seem like a perfectly normal guy.** A woman with the crazy is more likely to go for the scattergun approach: everyone who knows her - everyone who spends one evening in the same pub as her - knows that WHOA this is the crazy. > > ETA: So it looks like more women have the crazy, because you know about the ones you encounter casually as well as the ones you actually go out with, whereas you don’t necessarily know about the guys you’ve only spent a couple of evenings hanbging out with. Bolded the very important part. I have found this to be true. “Oh, but he seemed like such a nice man!”. Yeah, well he wasn’t. ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2011, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crazy-more-common-among-men-or-women/600573/24 "2011-10-24T16:15:55Z")
Women have “the crazy” a little bit more than men. Men have “the mean” a whole lot more than women and it’s a lot worse. ---
**Author:** ![JustinC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justinc/32/8083_2.png) [@JustinC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustinC)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crazy-more-common-among-men-or-women/600573/25 "2011-10-25T10:28:48Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > With 200 women, statistically some of them used to be dudes and one or two might actually still be dudes?😉 > > Seriously though, in my experience guys who have ‘dated’ (I presume you mean ‘banged’) hundreds of women typically have issues of their own. HA! On a statistical basis that could be true! Yes banged/dated/horizontal jogged with etc etc. I agree, although he has mellowed somewhat now. ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crazy-more-common-among-men-or-women/600573/26 "2011-10-25T15:30:02Z")
I think it’s probably equal. Men seem to be more willing to put up with the crazy if all they want out of the relationship is tail. Anecdotally - I’ve seen way, WAY more men get tangled up with the crazy than I have women - and dammit they just can’t seem to stay AWAY from the crazy once they’re hooked in. Women seem to be less willing to put up with the crazy. Even if all _they_ want out of the relationship is tail, there’s plenty of SANE tail out there available to women who will come by, do the deed and leave without a bunch of drama. ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crazy-more-common-among-men-or-women/600573/27 "2011-10-25T15:49:04Z")
> [@shiftless](#): > > Women have “the crazy” a little bit more than men. Men have “the mean” a whole lot more than women and it’s a lot worse. Oooh … I think that’s way debatable. Women can be 10 times crueler than men --especially as teenagers. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crazy-more-common-among-men-or-women/600573/28 "2011-10-25T16:10:04Z")
> [@shiftless](#): > > Women have “the crazy” a little bit more than men. Men have “the mean” a whole lot more than women and it’s a lot worse. “The crazy” is socially defined as NOT part of being a woman. It’s a corrupting influence against her feminine nature. “The mean,” as you call it, is socially defined as PART of being a man. It must be disciplined, sublimated, channeled, but it MUST be there or there is no masculine nature. Discuss. ---
**Author:** ![Polerius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d78d45/32.png) [@Polerius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polerius)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crazy-more-common-among-men-or-women/600573/29 "2011-10-25T16:23:25Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > “The mean,” as you call it, is socially defined as PART of being a man. It must be disciplined, sublimated, channeled, but it MUST be there or there is no masculine nature. Totally wrong. Do you think someone like, say George Clooney, who I assume is considered a good masculine specimen in popular culture, has ‘mean’ as part of the characteristics that makes him masculine? ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crazy-more-common-among-men-or-women/600573/30 "2011-10-25T16:37:33Z")
At the very bottom, a man has to be tough, which means knowing when and how to be mean to _himself_ - to discipline himself to serve his _own_ will, even if he never directly makes another submit to him. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crazy-more-common-among-men-or-women/600573/31 "2011-10-25T16:46:23Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > “The crazy” is socially defined as NOT part of being a woman. It’s a corrupting influence against her feminine nature. > > “The mean,” as you call it, is socially defined as PART of being a man. It must be disciplined, sublimated, channeled, but it MUST be there or there is no masculine nature. > > Discuss. Uh… whut? If men have to be mean to themselves, because that is your definition of self-discipline (which is insane to me) how is it possible that women are not also “mean” in this same way? Are you saying that self-discipline is unfeminine? If so, how is being erratic and emotionally needy NOT a huge part of femininity if you define it thusly? it seems to me that if you define masculinity the way you do , “the crazy” with its utter lack of emotional or sexual discipline, becomes the definition of the feminine, not its antonym. thus showing that your definitions of both masculine and feminine are pathological. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crazy-more-common-among-men-or-women/600573/32 "2011-10-25T20:51:58Z")
> [@Polerius](#): > > Totally wrong. Do you think someone like, say George Clooney, who I assume is considered a good masculine specimen in popular culture, has ‘mean’ as part of the characteristics that makes him masculine? He can be a little aloof and sarcastic (at least the characters he plays. I don’t know what he’s like IRL). ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crazy-more-common-among-men-or-women/600573/33 "2011-10-25T20:59:32Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > He can be a little aloof and sarcastic (at least the characters he plays. I don’t know what he’s like IRL). On aloofness and sarcasm: Being a smartass, which as a mean element to it, is much more associated with men than women. Look at how lopsided comedy is (especially comedians who have to write their own stuff rather than look pretty as in sitcoms). Look at this forum, ShotFromGuns is the only consistent female smartass I can think of here. So, yes, traits such as emotional distance and somewhat aggressive/offensive humor are much more associated with men than women. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2011, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crazy-more-common-among-men-or-women/600573/34 "2011-10-25T21:13:28Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > Uh… whut? > > If men have to be mean to themselves, because that is your definition of self-discipline (which is insane to me) how is it possible that women are not also “mean” in this same way? Are you saying that self-discipline is unfeminine? If so, how is being erratic and emotionally needy NOT a huge part of femininity if you define it thusly? it seems to me that if you define masculinity the way you do , “the crazy” with its utter lack of emotional or sexual discipline, becomes the definition of the feminine, not its antonym. thus showing that your definitions of both masculine and feminine are pathological. That’s entirely possible. I’m chronically depressive, socially phobic, and semi-reclusive, and Dopers know me to spout some crazy dark shit about humanity from time to time. I also admit I’m not willing to assume any internal logic in defining gender norms. Society does it however society likes, and god knows _that’s_ far from logical. But maybe it will strike you as a _little_ less pathological if I tell you that there _is_ a capacity for _loving_ discipline, towards oneself or others - but that it is very strongly typed as _feminine_ in our society. But that is not the kind of discipline that gets you out there competing and pushing your limits every day. That - in my own deeply flawed personal experience, anyway - requires an iron first that’s willing to take off the velvet glove and say, “Obey, damn you. Submit.” ---
**Author:** ![kimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f0a364/32.png) [@kimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kimera)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crazy-more-common-among-men-or-women/600573/35 "2011-10-27T00:13:36Z")
Statistically, men are more likely to suffer from psychological imbalances (the one X problem). The reason that men are more likely to call partners ‘the crazy’ is because, as others have pointed out, when men exhibit ‘the crazy’, they are more likely to be called ‘abusive’ or ‘creepy’. Also, my own experience has been that men are more likely to tolerate imbalanced and socially awkward partners than women are. ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crazy-more-common-among-men-or-women/600573/36 "2011-10-27T00:33:24Z")
When men says “the crazy” what they mean is “she wants me more than I want her.” Actual honest-to-goodness crazy is probably more prevalent in men than women, though. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crazy-more-common-among-men-or-women/600573.md?page=1)