# The Creationist Cecil **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 2, 2004, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationist-cecil/222224 "2004-01-02T04:22:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tommyturtle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@Tommyturtle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tommyturtle)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationist-cecil/222224/1 "2004-01-02T04:22:03Z")
Surfing today I found [this](http://objective.jesussave.us/kidz.html)…scroll down the page to **Professor Giraffenstein** The creation scientist and his little buddy Pepper the moth It’s a hoot…almost as good as the Chick Tracts Don’t blame ME if you don’t look it over and forever continue to believe that the T-rex was a herbivore and other gems of fun “facts” ---
**Author:** ![DaisyFace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/848f3c/32.png) [@DaisyFace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaisyFace)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationist-cecil/222224/2 "2004-01-02T04:29:47Z")
Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear. There’s just nothing to say… ::blink blink:: ---
**Author:** ![Call\_me\_Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Call\_me\_Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Call_me_Frank)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationist-cecil/222224/3 "2004-01-02T04:51:01Z")
Please, _PLEASE_ tell me that is a parody of some christian children’s site…! ---
**Author:** ![Blackeyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f6c823/32.png) [@Blackeyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackeyes)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationist-cecil/222224/4 "2004-01-02T05:06:27Z")
That is… wow. Cool, almost. In a creepy kind of way. But wow. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationist-cecil/222224/5 "2004-01-02T06:03:35Z")
Damn funny parody site. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationist-cecil/222224/6 "2004-01-02T06:10:23Z")
You know that’s a parody site, right? I mean, look at this bio: > [@](#): > > “Diamond” Jack Holgroth is a Game Theoretician who currently teaches a course in Advanced Game Theory for Theologians at Fellowship University. He served our country during the Cold War as a Game Theory Tactician for the Department of Defense and single-handedly developed an elegant solution to the “Fisherman’s Quandary”, a game theory problem that was crucial to the winning of the arms race and that was famously intractable - until Diamond Jack came along. Jack also enjoys vexillology and can signal Bible passages from memory in fluent semaphore. ---
**Author:** ![Blackeyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f6c823/32.png) [@Blackeyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackeyes)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationist-cecil/222224/7 "2004-01-02T08:07:20Z")
It looks too f$@%ed up to be true. It’s like, just too much, you know? ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationist-cecil/222224/8 "2004-01-02T11:56:49Z")
The [prayerbook](http://htmlgear.tripod.com/guest/control.guest?u=objectiveministries&i=2&a=view) is worth a read. ---
**Author:** ![clayton\_e](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@clayton\_e](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clayton_e)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationist-cecil/222224/9 "2004-01-02T16:41:43Z")
:eek: So creepy. The “Hey Habu” section is just evil. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationist-cecil/222224/10 "2004-01-02T17:02:27Z")
It’s fine satire. If you go the front page, you’ll see it’s part of the “Shutdown Landover Baptist” “movement”, which is I understand is actually Landover Baptist. Looks like an actual ad for a Christian business on the bottom of the kid page though… ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationist-cecil/222224/11 "2004-01-02T17:13:13Z")
And never forget: > [@](#): > > If you find an Atheist in your neighborhood, > TELL A PARENT OR PASTOR RIGHT AWAY! Wow. Just…wow. Hopsia the Kanga-Jew? ---
**Author:** ![Wartime\_Consigliori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9d8465/32.png) [@Wartime\_Consigliori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wartime_Consigliori)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationist-cecil/222224/12 "2004-01-02T17:16:25Z")
Anybody else notice **Hop-siah the Kanga-Jew** on that page? ---
**Author:** ![Wartime\_Consigliori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9d8465/32.png) [@Wartime\_Consigliori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wartime_Consigliori)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationist-cecil/222224/13 "2004-01-02T17:17:38Z")
Damn you, Photopat! ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Cymbeline](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_cymbeline/32/9244_2.png) [@Green\_Cymbeline](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Cymbeline)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationist-cecil/222224/14 "2004-01-02T18:23:59Z")
More on atheists: > [@](#): > > You may be moved to try and witness to > these poor lost souls yourself, however > AVOID TALKING TO THEM! > > Atheists are often very grumpy and bitter and will lash out at children or they may even try to trick you into neglecting God’s Word. > > Very advanced witnessing techniques are needed for these grouches. Let the adults handle them. Is this site for real??? Or is it a prody, I can’t tell for sure. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Cymbeline](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_cymbeline/32/9244_2.png) [@Green\_Cymbeline](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Cymbeline)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationist-cecil/222224/15 "2004-01-02T18:50:49Z")
I’ve been looking around this site and cannot find anything to indicate it’s a parody. I am pretty sure it is real! Which makes the following even more disturbing! Here are excerpts from questions and answers with Professor Giraffenstein: > [@](#): > > \*\*Q: Professor, what are fossils and where did they come from? > > A: Fossils are the buried remains of the wicked men and animals that perished 4,000 years ago in the flood!\*\* > [@](#): > > \*\*Q:Where did Cain get his wife? > > A: All humans are descendants of Adam and Eve, who had many sons and daughters…so Cain married one of his sisters! > > _ **…at which point appears a link to a page on the “Kids4truth” site which further explains:** _ > > But before sin had a chance to mess things up bad, people could marry a close relative and not worry about the effects to their kids. Once sin and death started adding flaws to a person’s genetic code, God in His wisdom made some rules against marrying close relatives. God is SO SMART! \*\* > [@](#): > > \*\*Q: My friend Bomby the bombardier beetle can shoot boiling-hot toxic chemicals out of his butt. Why? > > A: God gave your friend that ability for defense against evil and as a testament against the false doctrine of Evolutionism! > > _ **…at which point appears a link to the “Arky Book and Media Store” where you can order the book:** _ > > Bomby: The Bombardier Beetle > Rue, Hazel Mae > $5.50 > Bombs away! This amazing little beetle has a defense system that “fires cannons!” Playful, informative, fun. \*\* You should also visit the **Kidz Artwork Gallery** , where you will see a drawing by danny, age 10, showing Jesus giving a pirate a high-five, saying “I love you pirate!” To which the pirate responds, “Yarrr!!! I have changed me plunderin’ ways thanks to the love o’ Jesus – Avast Matey! 'Tis the most precious booty of all!!” **YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!** This site is insane. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Cymbeline](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_cymbeline/32/9244_2.png) [@Green\_Cymbeline](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Cymbeline)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationist-cecil/222224/16 "2004-01-02T19:05:54Z")
So one of the objectives of the “Objective: Christian Ministries” site is to “shut down Landover Baptist Church,” which is a parody site…[http://www.landoverbaptist.org/](http://www.landoverbaptist.org/) It’s pretty damn funny…after looking at it for a while, it seems very likely that the “Objective” site is also a parody…it’s just too fucked up to be true. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationist-cecil/222224/17 "2004-01-02T19:22:05Z")
Yeah, Landover has been popping up these “Shut down Landover” sites all over the place. They’re inevitably hilarious, and the only indication that they’re parody is the “Shut down Landover” tag. ---
**Author:** ![Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ed655f/32.png) [@Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crown_Prince_of_Irony)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationist-cecil/222224/18 "2004-01-02T20:11:47Z")
At first, I thought the site was valid - insane, but valid - considering the vehement . But after running a [whois.us](http://whois.us) search on the domain I found that the phone number for the responsible party is the same phone number quite a few adult sites use, according to a Google phone number search. Probably indicating one of two things: the operator of the site also operates adult sites, or the web hosting firm maintaining this site also maintains adult sites. Since I doubt that an ultra-conservative organization would give business to a company who parlayed in such sordid affairs, I am now likely to chalk it up to parody. Never seen the “Shut Down Landover” tag before, but then again, I don’t often find myself browsing creationist sites. ---
**Author:** ![Tommyturtle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@Tommyturtle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tommyturtle)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationist-cecil/222224/19 "2004-01-02T20:50:20Z")
I think it has to be a parody site too…it just HAS to be But it IS amusing how some of the REAL sites are so easy to parody and are so unintentionally funny that many people can’t tell the difference ---
**Author:** ![AntaresJB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c2a13f/32.png) [@AntaresJB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AntaresJB)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationist-cecil/222224/20 "2004-01-02T21:37:11Z")
Dude, all the little animal characters move and stuff when you mouse-over them or click on parts of them. Click on Mr. Gruff the atheist’s head. 😃 “Jesus probably wouldn’t love me anyway…” “I feel empty… I’m gonna drink some more coffee.” “Hey kid, wanna read some Ayn Rand?” also click his coffee cup and belt. Teehee. I’m so amused. Anyone know what it is the Hopsiah the Kanga-Jew is saying when you click on him? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationist-cecil/222224.md?page=2)