# The Creationists ride again - on Jesus Horses **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 31, 2006, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationists-ride-again-on-jesus-horses/366759 "2006-07-31T19:23:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![nameless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/779978/32.png) [@nameless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nameless)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationists-ride-again-on-jesus-horses/366759/41 "2006-08-01T03:51:07Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > Have _you_ ever tried to housebreak a velociraptor? [One](http://www.drmcninja.com/page.php?pageNum=3&issue=3) [man](http://www.drmcninja.com/page.php?pageNum=4&issue=3) [can.](http://www.drmcninja.com/page.php?pageNum=5&issue=3) But he is both a doctor **and** a ninja. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationists-ride-again-on-jesus-horses/366759/42 "2006-08-01T03:54:51Z")
What we clearly need, in light of that survey, is a _Trojan Jeebus horse!_ ---
**Author:** ![DoctorJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctorj/32/2904_2.png) [@DoctorJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoctorJ)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationists-ride-again-on-jesus-horses/366759/43 "2006-08-01T04:27:54Z")
This is so ridiculous that I’ll pit one small detail in the story that has nothing to do with the fundie creationist nutbars. > [@](#): > > That, of course, is contradicted by science, but that’s the point of the $25 million Creation Museum rising fast in **rural Kentucky**. _Rural_ Kentucky? Bitch, please. This place is just barely outside metro Cincinnati. Might seem rural to a hardened city dweller, but come down here where you’d have to drive almost two hours to get to the nearest Starbucks and you might see the difference. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationists-ride-again-on-jesus-horses/366759/44 "2006-08-01T04:39:13Z")
> [@Evil Captor](#): > > What we clearly need, in light of that survey, is a _Trojan Jeebus horse!_ Ain’t gonna happen. First of all, the Catholic Church opposes the use of such devices on moral grounds. Second, you just try getting that thing on him when he’s feeling randy; I guarantee he will not be amused. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationists-ride-again-on-jesus-horses/366759/45 "2006-08-01T04:56:32Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > I think I read in the papers, one of the first things Benedict XVI did as pope was declare that intelligent-design theory is consistent with Catholic doctrine. Can’t find a cite, though. At least he’s not supporting young-Earth creationism. The pope’s statement reiterated the position of the church that the creation of the universe has “design” (as in, it fullfills some plan of God). Nothing that the pope has said actually supports the particular American species of (capitalized) Intelligent Design that requires a belief of direct divine intervention in the process of evolution. The antecedent to the pope’s statement was an op-ed article in the New York Times in which an Austrian Cardinal Schonborn (egged on by the Institute for Creation Research), laid out a claim for (lower case) intelligent design. Cardinal Schonborn, who was later made aware of the particular agenda of the ICR and the peculiar American turn of the phrase “intelligent design,” has since clarified his remarks to indicate that there is nothing in Evolutionary Theory that is inconsistent with church teachings. A quick synopsis of the various church positions can be found at [Michael J. Ghedotti’s page](http://academic.regis.edu/mghedott/evolut.htm). ---
**Author:** ![cerberus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cerberus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cerberus)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationists-ride-again-on-jesus-horses/366759/46 "2006-08-01T05:42:33Z")
So is Lilith in this museum? Do Lilith and Eve have a _Dynasty_-style fight in a pond? How is the pre-Original Sin Serpent portrayed in the Garden? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationists-ride-again-on-jesus-horses/366759/47 "2006-08-01T13:30:24Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > My cellar, my house: same same big. Build cellar bigger than house? Why build cellar? Where else put wine? ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationists-ride-again-on-jesus-horses/366759/48 "2006-08-01T13:59:58Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Where else put wine? Stuff in cheese? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationists-ride-again-on-jesus-horses/366759/49 "2006-08-01T14:16:52Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > Stuff in cheese? Stuff in cheese is milk. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationists-ride-again-on-jesus-horses/366759/50 "2006-08-01T14:19:26Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Stuff in cheese is milk. Goat milk? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Slant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c57346/32.png) [@Mr.Slant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Slant)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationists-ride-again-on-jesus-horses/366759/51 "2006-08-01T14:21:35Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > What’s sad to me is that $25 million was spent on spreading ignorance. That money could been used to fight ignorance, like, say, by replacing the hamsters running this board with a server farm, making the board free again, and hiring more moderators and actually paying them. With just a tiny fraction of that money, this board could be the biggest one on the internet, and fighting ignorance to a degree never dreamt of. > > Instead, they bring a B.C. comic to life. Umm… yeah. Ixnay on the paid moderators. Seriously, we have dam\*ed near the most perfect moderation I’ve ever seen on any Internet forum of any kind. No use changing the soda mix to water ratio on our moderation… ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationists-ride-again-on-jesus-horses/366759/52 "2006-08-01T14:28:36Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > Goat milk? No, am all out. Got Jesus Juice. Want? ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationists-ride-again-on-jesus-horses/366759/53 "2006-08-01T14:40:37Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > No, am all out. > > Got Jesus Juice. Want? What, you a Jesus soda jerk now? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationists-ride-again-on-jesus-horses/366759/54 "2006-08-01T14:45:36Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > What, you a Jesus soda jerk now? Who you call jerk? Me a asshole. Get right. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationists-ride-again-on-jesus-horses/366759/55 "2006-08-01T14:50:35Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > An admirable suggestion, but perhaps a more practical approach would be not to buy the servers at Radio Shack. I’ve put up with a lot of shit from you but now you’re dissing Radio Shack computers? (fumingly signed) **drop** , owner of at least six functional Trash-80s of various sorts ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationists-ride-again-on-jesus-horses/366759/56 "2006-08-01T14:55:59Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Who you call jerk? Me a asshole. Get right. Get right? Why get right? Me left, proud of! :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2006, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationists-ride-again-on-jesus-horses/366759/57 "2006-08-02T19:11:52Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > The only thing the Church insists on is a belief that God created the universe and created the human soul. And that you give them money. And that you bring in your children to be brainwashed into believing their hogwash so that they can inflict themself onto another generation. It’s not just The Church, actually. It’s all churches and all religions. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2006, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationists-ride-again-on-jesus-horses/366759/58 "2006-08-02T19:35:05Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Who would be buried in it? Amy Grant and ‘The House of Love’. ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2006, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationists-ride-again-on-jesus-horses/366759/59 "2006-08-02T23:18:29Z")
> [@Count Blucher](#): > > “Can a man and a Dinosaur share a Manhattan Apartment without driving each other crazy…?” > > _starts ‘OddCouple’ theme music_ It helps if the dinosaur puts out. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2006, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationists-ride-again-on-jesus-horses/366759/60 "2006-09-19T01:33:44Z")
Arise Lazarus! Hate to bring this back as a zombie but I have a little story to give it a soul. I was at a bit of a party a while back and it turns out the hosts of the party are brilliant artists, sculptors to be exact. Their line of business involves freelancing hyperreal sculptures for the animatronics industry. I would call these artiste/sculptors, Composite Cybernetic Skinners, but then again I’m pretentious like that. So, I get a peek in their studio and there is this insanely realistic, not quite finished clay sculpture, of a full nude male, with perfect proportions. I am amazed! Some of the fine detail they have done is so far beyond any stone sculpture that I have seen that I am just blown away. What an incredible piece! Who is he? That’s Adam, says he–Turns out they are sculpting **The Adam** for the Creationist Museum’s Garden of Eden exhibit! A few of us are admiring his incredible lines, the hyperrealistic musculature, and the painstaking detail right down to the veins in the forearms. Magnificent! Just so real! You guys are good! Advanced Anatomy! But then I notice some things are conspicuously absent for such an incredibly real specimen of the first man. He has no belly button, says I! Turns out that is a doctrinal specification for creationists-- Adam is absent a navel! Well, I get it, I can see the creationist logic in that. Seems kind of weird to me, personally, but not as weird as the fact that this creationist Adam is also minus a Penis. The irony is just so fucking ideal for the animus of this Creationist Museum. It’s just fucking crazy! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationists-ride-again-on-jesus-horses/366759.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creationists-ride-again-on-jesus-horses/366759.md?page=4)