# The creepiest hypothetical you'll read all day... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 27, 2012, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creepiest-hypothetical-youll-read-all-day/620166 "2012-04-27T19:13:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2012, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creepiest-hypothetical-youll-read-all-day/620166/1 "2012-04-27T19:13:31Z")
Let’s say you spend the night on the couch at a friend’s house. Your friend has gone to bed. You decide to stay up and watch TV. Nothing is on though so you decide to see if there is anything worth watching on the DVR. One of the shows recorded is “Toddlers and Tiaras” How do you react? ---
**Author:** ![PacifistPorcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@PacifistPorcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PacifistPorcupine)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2012, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creepiest-hypothetical-youll-read-all-day/620166/2 "2012-04-27T19:21:07Z")
I hit play? ---
**Author:** ![Surly\_Chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Surly\_Chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surly_Chick)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2012, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creepiest-hypothetical-youll-read-all-day/620166/3 "2012-04-27T19:22:16Z")
Depends on if it’s a male or female friend. Some people I know watch it because they enjoy a good train wreck. ---
**Author:** ![Babale](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/babale/32/15666_2.png) [@Babale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babale)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2012, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creepiest-hypothetical-youll-read-all-day/620166/4 "2012-04-27T19:30:55Z")
Very, very quietly, I sneak into the kitchen. I pull open the silverware drawer and pull out a big, heavy, sharp knife. I stealthily take the knife and sneak into my friend’s room. I open the door, quietly as possible. I tiptoe up to his bed. I put the knife behind my back in my left hand, and gently shake him awake with my right. I say, “Dude, where do you keep your peanut butter?” I await his groggy answer, and then creep back into the kitchen as he falls back to sleep. I make myself a peanut butter sandwich. Then, munching on it, I find the medicine cabinet. I sort through the pills, looking for ones that will react badly with each other. I go into the kitchen and make a cup of coffee. I take the badly reacting pills and label them carefully, so that my friend doesn’t injure himself. I then drink the coffee. I then go to sleep. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2012, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creepiest-hypothetical-youll-read-all-day/620166/5 "2012-04-27T19:35:48Z")
> [@Surly\_Chick](#): > > Some people I know watch it because they enjoy a good train wreck. Is there any other reason to watch it? (I don’t know, never seen it, only heard about the train wrecks). ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2012, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creepiest-hypothetical-youll-read-all-day/620166/6 "2012-04-27T19:57:08Z")
I really don’t do reality tv at all, but I’ve watched it. It’s a funny show to leave on while cleaning your room or knitting–I put it in the same category as Hoarders, mentally. If it were Jersey Shore on the DVR, though, I might be having second thoughts about the friendship. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2012, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creepiest-hypothetical-youll-read-all-day/620166/7 "2012-04-27T20:03:13Z")
I wait until my friend wakes up, and then I mock him or her mercilessly. Seriously, is there any other legit option? I can’t think of one. Edit: Wait, I thought of one. Waking my friend up from sleep to start the mocking immediately would be a viable option. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2012, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creepiest-hypothetical-youll-read-all-day/620166/8 "2012-04-27T20:04:43Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > I wait until my friend wakes up, and then I mock him or her mercilessly. > > Seriously, is there any other legit option? I can’t think of one. I vote for murdering the friend while he or she sleeps. When the police learn why you did it they’re sure to let you off. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2012, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creepiest-hypothetical-youll-read-all-day/620166/9 "2012-04-27T20:14:08Z")
Is this an opposite-sex friend, or a same-sex friend? If opposite-sex, how heavily does she sleep? Wait, what was the question again? ---
**Author:** ![raspberry\_hunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b19c9b/32.png) [@raspberry\_hunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raspberry_hunter)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2012, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creepiest-hypothetical-youll-read-all-day/620166/10 "2012-04-27T20:18:34Z")
**Babale** , that was totally awesome. ---
**Author:** ![SDMBKL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sdmbkl/32/7297_2.png) [@SDMBKL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SDMBKL)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2012, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creepiest-hypothetical-youll-read-all-day/620166/11 "2012-04-27T20:22:38Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > Let’s say you spend the night on the couch at a friend’s house. > > Your friend has gone to bed. You decide to stay up and watch TV. Nothing is on though so you decide to see if there is anything worth watching on the DVR. > > One of the shows recorded is “Toddlers and Tiaras” > > How do you react? I would watch “Toddlers and Tiaras” for a while, and when I become tired of watching it, I would fall fast asleep. ---
**Author:** ![Babale](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/babale/32/15666_2.png) [@Babale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babale)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2012, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creepiest-hypothetical-youll-read-all-day/620166/12 "2012-04-27T21:03:52Z")
> [@raspberry\_hunter](#): > > **Babale** , that was totally awesome. Thanks! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dc4da7/32.png) [@The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Man_With_The_Golden_Gun)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2012, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creepiest-hypothetical-youll-read-all-day/620166/13 "2012-04-27T21:27:09Z")
Hope I didn’t wake my friend up with the incessant “fap fap fap” noise. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dc4da7/32.png) [@The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Man_With_The_Golden_Gun)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2012, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creepiest-hypothetical-youll-read-all-day/620166/14 "2012-04-27T21:28:12Z")
Damn it, I knew I shouldn’t have left my computer logged in here at **Starving Artist** ’s place! ---
**Author:** ![gwendee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@gwendee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gwendee)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creepiest-hypothetical-youll-read-all-day/620166/15 "2012-04-28T17:20:55Z")
I thought this thread was for us to list the creepiest hypothetical…'cause I’m not sure yours is it. We need a little more information on your friend to see if it really moves the needle on the creepometer. If your friend is a 22yo guy and you opened a folder on his desktop called “Photos I Jerk Off To” and it was all high glitz pageant photos\* that would be super-duper creepy. I feel dirty like I need a shower just typing it. \*A term I know from watching Toddlers & Tiaras, of which I have three episodes recorded on my DVR. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creepiest-hypothetical-youll-read-all-day/620166/16 "2012-04-28T17:44:53Z")
> [@The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](#): > > Damn it, I knew I shouldn’t have left my computer logged in here at **Starving Artist** ’s place! Hey, could have been worse. Ask **Hal Briston**. ---
**Author:** ![florez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b9e5f3/32.png) [@florez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/florez)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creepiest-hypothetical-youll-read-all-day/620166/17 "2012-04-28T17:55:48Z")
I never watched this program, but it is on my netflix, so I might give it a look see. I can’t remember where on the internet I read this, but it was an interview with the father of Jonbenet Ramsey; and he commented on this program specifically, on how it had made him realize the fucked up nature of child beauty pageants. I remember the comment, because I was surprised that he said it was this show, that caused his realization, and not what had happened to his daughter. I can not believe that Patsy Ramsey never condemned these pageants, and apparently went to her grave believing that they could be a positive influence on young girls. ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-creepiest-hypothetical-youll-read-all-day/620166/18 "2012-04-28T18:01:59Z")
> [@Babale](#): > > Very, very quietly, I sneak into the kitchen. I pull open the silverware drawer and pull out a big, heavy, sharp knife. I stealthily take the knife and sneak into my friend’s room. I open the door, quietly as possible. I tiptoe up to his bed. I put the knife behind my back in my left hand, and gently shake him awake with my right. I say, “Dude, where do you keep your peanut butter?” I await his groggy answer, and then creep back into the kitchen as he falls back to sleep. I make myself a peanut butter sandwich. Then, munching on it, I find the medicine cabinet. I sort through the pills, looking for ones that will react badly with each other. I go into the kitchen and make a cup of coffee. I take the badly reacting pills and label them carefully, so that my friend doesn’t injure himself. I then drink the coffee. I then go to sleep. I like the cut of your jib, sir.