# The crooks keep calling **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 9, 2014, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735 "2014-04-09T17:26:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735/41 "2014-04-10T16:20:39Z")
> [@For You](#): > > I think the best response to listening to a long pitch is a slightly strained “What are you wearing?” Which gives me an idea. Let’s make a list of show-stopping questions or statements that I can read from the next time I get a call like this. First on the list, “This is the Major.” ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_Hey\_Paula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hey\_Hey\_Paula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_Hey_Paula)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735/42 "2014-04-10T16:31:54Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > Which gives me an idea. Let’s make a list of show-stopping questions or statements that I can read from the next time I get a call like this. > > First on the list, “This is the Major.” Slightly panicked voice: “How…how are you calling me? I don’t have a phone!” ---
**Author:** ![eclectic\_wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac91a4/32.png) [@eclectic\_wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eclectic_wench)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735/43 "2014-04-10T16:43:52Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > Which gives me an idea. Let’s make a list of show-stopping questions or statements that I can read from the next time I get a call like this. > > First on the list, “This is the Major.” Nervy voice: ‘Are you in my fillings?’ If they say no, make them prove it. ---
**Author:** ![eclectic\_wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac91a4/32.png) [@eclectic\_wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eclectic_wench)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735/44 "2014-04-10T16:47:58Z")
> [@Hey\_Hey\_Paula](#): > > Slightly panicked voice: “How…how are you calling me? I don’t have a phone!” Oh, and a variation on this used to be my standard response to telemarketers, before we went unlisted: ‘Sorry, there’s been some mistake, we don’t have a phone.’ Click. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735/45 "2014-04-10T17:01:39Z")
> [@DiggitCamara](#): > > You should do that. And record it. With any luck, you’ll get a bot on the other end and end up with something like [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=invgqeawT0Q). :eek:🆒 That is kind of weak [compared to this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_tvm6Eoa3g) (turn off the sound if you are at work). ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735/46 "2014-04-10T17:24:22Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > The do not call list is a joke. I’ve received more calls since I put our numbers on the list than before. When it was first enacted, it actually worked well for me for a couple of years. Now? Totally useless. I get spammed on my cell phobe and we reinstalled a landline about two years ago for emergency purposes. Before I was even able to memorize my own number, we got telemarketing calls. Like, the first day, before anyone knew our number (and, still, it’s pretty much just me and my wife who know it.) I tried the DNC list, but it had absolutely no effect. I wouldn’t say there is a higher volume of calls, but it was about as effective as trying to wish the telemarketers away. ---
**Author:** ![Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carol_the_Impaler)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735/47 "2014-04-10T19:37:30Z")
I never answer calls from numbers I don’t recognize, but years ago we kept getting these calls at the office. So I finally decided to keep the caller on the line as long as possible. When she asked me my name I gave her the name of the gal who was the Chairman of the Federal Trade Commission at the time. Then she asked for my employer. “I am the Chairman of the Federal Trade Commission. Yes, the Federal Trade Commission.” I think I finally got bored and hung up, and then she called me back! I felt kinda bad because she seemed to genuinely think I was a prospect. ---
**Author:** ![Cartwright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/47e85d/32.png) [@Cartwright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartwright)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735/48 "2014-04-10T19:45:41Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > Since all my phone numbers are unlisted, telemarketing calls are randomly generated and “blind.” Sometimes they really try to work the sucker until all hope is lost. > > [Here’s “Tom,”](http://doorbell.net/junk/senior_shield_edit.mp3) who thinks that by calling me a terrorist, accusing me of being a psychopath and bomber, that he will soften me up and sell me his special brand of scam. Eventually, he gave up when I asked what credit card of mine he was referring to. > > This recording is shortened to remove the waiting time in the middle. Nothing else is changed. > > Caller ID says, 360 322-6714, “Senior Shield,” at least this week. Other times the CID changes depending on the Scam Du Jour. There is no way to reach a human at that number unless they call you first. > > How crooked can you get? That number looks like a big credit card services scam. Look here: [BAD NUMBERS - 360-322-6714 / 3603226714](http://www.badnumbers.com/360-322-6714/) Have you gotten yourself a call blocking device? There are a few stand alone devices and now even phones with the blockers in them. Panasonic has one. Google “T-Lock Pro Call Blocker.” It has a 1500 number blacklist, but I’ve only used about 120 numbers after about a year. The calls slowly started to go away after about a month. Makes life a lot easier watching your phone hang up by itself. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735/49 "2014-04-10T19:57:16Z")
> [@Cartwright](#): > > Have you gotten yourself a call blocking device? There are a few stand alone devices and now even phones with the blockers in them. Panasonic has one. Google “T-Lock Pro Call Blocker.” It has a 1500 number blacklist, but I’ve only used about 120 numbers after about a year. The calls slowly started to go away after about a month. Makes life a lot easier watching your phone hang up by itself. Call blockers cause a delay since the CID data is transmitted between the first and second ring. Not a problem for calls you don’t want, but it isn’t friendly for those you do. Compared to many people with listed numbers, I get few junk calls, since my numbers aren’t listed and haven’t been for 40 years. They come only from robodialers, not name & number lists. I’m pretty hip as to which numbers are junk, but sometimes I just want to fuck with 'em. Also, I hope to serve as an early warning system for my neighbors. If I see a scam making the rounds, I can warn others who tend to be more trusting than I. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735/50 "2014-04-10T21:53:20Z")
> [@andros](#): > > FWIW, timeshares are intended for people who want to _feel_ rich. Actual rich people do not need timeshare bullshit, they take real vacations. > > I actually highly recommend everyone attend at least one timeshare event. It’s a masterclass in manipulative hardsell. TMYK. > . What is interesting is to go and see how low they get as they try to sell you. I’ve gotten them down to like 25% of the original price at one before I left. Shows how much people who buy early are getting ripped off. I also invited a vacuum cleaner salesman in. The junior guy cleaned part of my carpet (not well) and the senior guy came to sell me. I got him to about 15% of the original price, but the fun part was seeing him switch sales tactics. He started talking about God (that didn’t work 😃 ) and moved on to needing to make a sale to feed his starving children. Great fun in a sick sort of way. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735/51 "2014-04-10T22:56:01Z")
I can see the fun, but I just don’t have that kind of patience. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735/52 "2014-04-10T23:04:09Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > I can see the fun, but I just don’t have that kind of patience. When it wears thin, but the crooks just keep a-comin’, I’ll merely stop answering. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735/53 "2014-04-11T00:32:31Z")
_Hold on, I seem to be out of toilet paper …_ ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735/54 "2014-04-11T02:08:39Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > I just got a call from the Gallup Organization _on my cellphone._ When I answered, they hung up. How can they conduct polls like that? Gallup and all political pollsters are exempt from DNC laws. Mostly because the lawmakers use poll data to get re-elected. Here’s the best example of [fucking with a telemarketer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7OgWcwgB50) I’ve ever heard. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735/55 "2014-04-11T02:29:51Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > Great fun in a sick sort of way. Oh my yes! I had a friend who, in a moment of youthful poverty and desperation, tried his hand at selling Silver Queens. He ran his full spiel for his friends, and we tried as hard as we could to help him out, but he realized even then that he’d made a terrible, terrible mistake. I’m not certain he made a sale. (OTOH, my ex once succumbed to an in-home pitch and paid something like $800 for a vacuum. I played bad cop and returned it. In retrospect, even though she was embarrassed, I think that might have been the moment I started to realize maybe that relationship wasn’t gonna work out.) . ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735/56 "2014-04-11T03:12:55Z")
> [@andros](#): > > (OTOH, my ex once succumbed to an in-home pitch and paid something like $800 for a vacuum. > . Christ, my ex, Mrs. Plant (v.2.0) would have bought that with my credit card in a New York Minute, she being unfortunate enough to have been born there. If it is expesive, it must be better! ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735/57 "2014-04-11T03:31:24Z")
I let one of those “firemen” try to push show tickets on me one time – charitable cause and all that – then they suggested using my credit card. Whoa, no thank you, _ **you** _ called _me_, and you want me to give you my card number on blind faith??? I mean, if I originated the call, at least I can be somewhat confident that I am talking to someone reputable, if you call me, what kind of possible assurance can you give me that you are not some thief just trying to get my card number? ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735/58 "2014-04-11T19:42:18Z")
> [@For You](#): > > … what kind of possible assurance can you give me that you are not some thief just trying to get my card number? You would actually dis America’s finest firemen? What kind of terrorist are you, anyway? A _Commie?_ ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735/59 "2014-04-11T23:40:09Z")
Update: I just wasted 40 seconds of another asshole’s time. Calling me three times in two days. Apparently my opinion is highly valuable. [Gallupers (supposedly)](http://doorbell.net/junk/182114gallup.mp3) This is why you should never trust any poll. Do you think my call was registered in the yes, no, or undecided column? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735/60 "2014-04-12T01:54:58Z")
I wonder what would happen if you answered one of the calls, went through the sales pitch, agreed to buy something, then identified yourself as a burglar who just happened to answer the phone and thought the product or service sounded intriguing. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735.md?page=4)