# The crooks keep calling

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [April 9, 2014, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735 "2014-04-09T17:26:11Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 4

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\
**Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735/61 "2014-04-12T16:24:51Z")

</div>

Apparently Gallup thinks my responses are so rewarding that they can’t stop, and called again today.

And Gallupper Randall says that I made his day. Note that all the laffs and heavy breathing were supplied by him.

[http://doorbell.net/junk/110410gallup.mp3](http://doorbell.net/junk/110410gallup.mp3)

Strangely enough, my answer to his question, “Did I reach you on a cellphone or a landline?” was correct. Gallup called my cellphone, which forwarded the call to my landline, so “Yes” was the right answer.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\
**Post date:** [April 16, 2014, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735/62 "2014-04-16T19:37:36Z")

</div>

> [@Strassia](#):
>
> For those curious it was the Sacramento Union. An old family newspaper that was destroyed by the rival paper. Not figuratively either. The media company that owned the rival paper bought the Union, broke all the syndication contracts and fired a bunch of staff before they were forced to sell due to anti-trust lawsuits. The paper folder not to long after I left (no connection).

We used to take the Union. I always much preferred it to it’s competitor (the Sacramento Bee), and was very disappointed when it folded. At least now I know who to blame (your attempts to distance yourself notwithstanding).

I guess I’ll just have to get \*\*Musicat \*\* to bomb you.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\
**Post date:** [April 16, 2014, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735/63 "2014-04-16T19:54:52Z")

</div>

> [@Suburban\_Plankton](#):
>
> I guess I’ll just have to get \*\*Musicat \*\* to bomb you.

Wait, Musicat does…contracts?  
Is there a price list?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\
**Post date:** [April 16, 2014, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735/64 "2014-04-16T21:43:37Z")

</div>

I’ve been trying to find out, but he won’t answer my calls ☹

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\
**Post date:** [April 16, 2014, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735/65 "2014-04-16T22:12:46Z")

</div>

Perhaps we should slip the carefully worded request in an envelope under his door with a twenty dollar bill.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![nevadaexile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb8c5e/32.png) [@nevadaexile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nevadaexile)\
**Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735/66 "2014-04-17T00:14:27Z")

</div>

I used to post telemarketers phone numbers to fake Craigslist and Backpage ads. Not certain what happened, but I always made certain that the ad was something that I knew that people would respond to frequently (really cheap MacBooks, job listings,etc)

I figured that it was the least that I could do.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\
**Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735/67 "2014-04-17T01:56:20Z")

</div>

> [@carnivorousplant](#):
>
> Wait, Musicat does…contracts?  
> Is there a price list?

Make me an offer.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\
**Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735/68 "2014-04-17T02:38:54Z")

</div>

> [@Musicat](#):
>
> Make me an offer.

My list is quite lengthy.  
Do you offer a volume discount?  
Say, perhaps a building when I am not there.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\
**Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735/69 "2014-04-17T08:04:51Z")

</div>

> [@carnivorousplant](#):
>
> My list is quite lengthy.  
> Do you offer a volume discount?  
> Say, perhaps a building when I am not there.

How close are you to Bentonville?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\
**Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735/70 "2014-04-17T14:40:52Z")

</div>

> [@For You](#):
>
> How close are you to Bentonville?

About two hundred miles.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\
**Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735/71 "2014-04-17T16:21:07Z")

</div>

> [@carnivorousplant](#):
>
> Wait, Musicat does…contracts?  
> Is there a price list?

> [@Musicat](#):
>
> Make me an offer.

But you might refuse it.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\
**Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735/72 "2014-04-17T17:14:12Z")

</div>

So…I’ve had the Nielsen Company calling me several times a day for a week or so. I put them on call block, using the number that showed up.

Somehow, they’ve thwarted it. The same number that I blocked is ringing through. I checked my call block and it’s listed.

Great. Now the annoying telemarketers are figuring out how to bypass blockers.

P.S. My phone now offers a reverse call block. Instead of listing the numbers you want block, you list the numbers you intend to receive. Everyone else is turned away. I’m tempted to start using it before Election time this year.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\
**Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735/73 "2014-04-17T21:51:49Z")

</div>

> [@Voyager](#):
>
> What is interesting is to go and see how low they get as they try to sell you. I’ve gotten them down to like 25% of the original price at one before I left. Shows how much people who buy early are getting ripped off.
> 
> I also invited a vacuum cleaner salesman in. The junior guy cleaned part of my carpet (not well) and the senior guy came to sell me. I got him to about 15% of the original price, but the fun part was seeing him switch sales tactics. He started talking about God (that didn’t work 😃 ) and moved on to needing to make a sale to feed his starving children. Great fun in a sick sort of way.

Anyone here seen the movie “Queen of Versailles”? In the DVD extras, two salespeople talk a couple, who mention in the movie that they have just had their third child, down to something like $31 a month for a luxury Vegas condo, and at that moment, they realize it’s all a scam, and get up and leave.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\
**Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735/74 "2014-04-17T21:54:11Z")

</div>

> [@PunditLisa](#):
>
> So…I’ve had the Nielsen Company calling me several times a day for a week or so. I put them on call block, using the number that showed up.
> 
> Somehow, they’ve thwarted it. The same number that I blocked is ringing through. I checked my call block and it’s listed.
> 
> Great. Now the annoying telemarketers are figuring out how to bypass blockers.
> 
> P.S. My phone now offers a reverse call block. Instead of listing the numbers you want block, you list the numbers you intend to receive. Everyone else is turned away. I’m tempted to start using it before Election time this year.

FYI: If you get any “junk mail” from the Nielsen Company, DO NOT throw it away unopened. It may contain cash; mine had two crisp $1 bills in it. Nothing to lose but a few seconds of your time, anyway! 🙂

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![BlakeTyner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@BlakeTyner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlakeTyner)\
**Post date:** [April 18, 2014, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735/75 "2014-04-18T14:23:57Z")

</div>

For those of you who want to waste their time…

When I worked (very briefly) as a telemarketer, for a national company that contracted for places like J.C. Penny, AOL, etc., the policy in our call center was that we could never terminate the call–it always had to be the mark on the other end. Even in situations where the mark was obviously screwing with us, the boss said we simply had to mute our phone and wait.

I hated the job, of course, and couldn’t bring myself to keep trying to con older people into an insurance program “endorsed by Christopher Reeve!” So the people who thwarted my efforts always amused me. My favorite was the guy who simply walked me through his life for like an hour.

“Now I’m spreading the mayo on my white bread. Well, hell, I don’t have any chicken breast so I’m having to go with turkey.”

Then he ate, noisily, in my ear.

After, whether real or fake, he began masturbating. Again, noisily.

QA happened to be listening and recording that call, and the tape made the rounds for a while. Good times.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\
**Post date:** [April 18, 2014, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735/76 "2014-04-18T14:59:34Z")

</div>

> [@nearwildheaven](#):
>
> FYI: If you get any “junk mail” from the Nielsen Company, DO NOT throw it away unopened. It may contain cash; mine had two crisp $1 bills in it. Nothing to lose but a few seconds of your time, anyway! 🙂

I have received mail like that from trade magazine surveys. But then I figured that if I gathered all my junk mail for a year into one pile and methodically opened each, unfolded the papers and searched for dollar bills, it would take me an hour, so I was being paid a dollar an hour if I found one.

Not worth the effort.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\
**Post date:** [April 19, 2014, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735/77 "2014-04-19T10:22:44Z")

</div>

> [@nevadaexile](#):
>
> I used to post telemarketers phone numbers to fake Craigslist and Backpage ads. Not certain what happened, but I always made certain that the ad was something that I knew that people would respond to frequently (really cheap MacBooks, job listings,etc)
> 
> I figured that it was the least that I could do.

(snicker) This one’s amusing. My husband has seriously thought about trying to forward calls from one known telespammer to another telespammer.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![BlakeTyner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@BlakeTyner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlakeTyner)\
**Post date:** [April 19, 2014, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735/78 "2014-04-19T14:14:02Z")

</div>

In honor of this thread, when I got a call on my cell last night from a number in Florida (spoofed, probably) I decided to answer it and see if my advice above still applied.

It was “Jack,” a dude with an Indian accent. Said I’d been selected to receive a home security system.

He asked if I owned or rented my home. I responded that I was homeless.

“So you are the homeowner?”

No, Jack, I don’t have a home; I live on the street."

Dude straight hung up on me.

Next time, I’ll play along and say oh sure, I own my home, yada yada, hear the spiel, then when it comes time to give the address, I’ll say “cardboard fridge box number 3, such-and-such sidewalk.” That should piss 'em right off.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\
**Post date:** [April 19, 2014, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735/79 "2014-04-19T14:34:54Z")

</div>

> [@BlakeTyner](#):
>
> Next time, I’ll play along and say oh sure, I own my home, yada yada, hear the spiel, then when it comes time to give the address, I’ll say “cardboard fridge box number 3, such-and-such sidewalk.” That should piss 'em right off.

How about 1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW, Washington, DC 20500? Or 123 Fake St., Springfield, {any state}?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\
**Post date:** [April 21, 2014, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735/80 "2014-04-21T03:32:33Z")

</div>

> [@Musicat](#):
>
> I have received mail like that from trade magazine surveys. But then I figured that if I gathered all my junk mail for a year into one pile and methodically opened each, unfolded the papers and searched for dollar bills, it would take me an hour, so I was being paid a dollar an hour if I found one.
> 
> Not worth the effort.

I open every envelope that arrives in my name, even if it appears to be junk mail. Sometimes it isn’t. I almost threw away concert tickets one time.

[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735.md?page=3)

[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crooks-keep-calling/685735.md?page=5)
