# The crying of a baby in public is more frustrating because it doesn't know better **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 28, 2016, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crying-of-a-baby-in-public-is-more-frustrating-because-it-doesnt-know-better/755890 "2016-05-28T14:43:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![donkeyoatey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47c2d/32.png) [@donkeyoatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/donkeyoatey)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2016, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crying-of-a-baby-in-public-is-more-frustrating-because-it-doesnt-know-better/755890/41 "2016-05-30T06:12:01Z")
> [@chasfh](#): > > … a toddler at a table, scanning the room, and asking the host or hostess, “Um, can we get a seat over there instead?” Well perhaps said toddler already slipped the host\ess a fifty to be seated well away from you ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2016, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crying-of-a-baby-in-public-is-more-frustrating-because-it-doesnt-know-better/755890/42 "2016-05-30T10:50:02Z")
I disagree that crying babies need to be taken off of buses. Restaurants, yes; movies, of course, but buses, just live with it. Older children, certainly. I also agree that we’re likely hard-wired to find babies’s crying disturbing in order to do something about it. Those babies who cried in a soft pop song never got feed and their DNA weren’t passed along, When my wife and I were out when our children were babies, I got the task of quieting them, or at least look quite busy attempting to quiet them since I’d always get sympathetic looks rather than the daggers my wife would be on the receiving end of. ---
**Author:** ![RobDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f07891/32.png) [@RobDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobDog)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2016, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crying-of-a-baby-in-public-is-more-frustrating-because-it-doesnt-know-better/755890/43 "2016-05-30T11:12:54Z")
> [@Kaio](#): > > … As far as trains / public transport, yes parents can step off the transit at any stop they wish, including the very next one. They can even plan ahead to ensure that the kid is in a good mood aka well-fed and well-rested (or asleep) before traveling, which is also a strategy that can also be useful for planes… Well maybe they have a ticket which allows them to travel only on that one particular service, or maybe they have to be on that service to make a connecting train/bus/plane, or maybe they have to be on that service to make a vital appointment, or maybe they don’t want to get off because it’s pissing with rain and freezing cold outside, or maybe it’s the last service, or maybe the next stops are in less than salubrious areas, or maybe any number of reasons why they decide to remain on the service which they’ve paid for, and are as equally entitled to be on as you are. Hey, here’s a thought, next time you’re on public transport with a crying child, why don’t you get off at the next stop and wait for a bus/train with a collection of passengers which more suits your delicate sensibilities? ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2016, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crying-of-a-baby-in-public-is-more-frustrating-because-it-doesnt-know-better/755890/44 "2016-05-30T11:24:39Z")
> [@Kaio](#): > > …As far as trains / public transport, yes parents can step off the transit at any stop they wish, including the very next one. They can even plan ahead to ensure that the kid is in a good mood aka well-fed and well-rested (or asleep) before traveling, which is also a strategy that can also be useful for planes… Do you have any idea how complicated it is to live with small children? No, you can’t always plan ahead and make sure the child is in a perfect mood on the train. Any maybe you actually have to get somewhere – yes, I’d like to get to town in time to attend my aunt’s funeral, thanks, and no I can’t just get off this bus right now. (That was a real situation, I traveled with a nursing baby to my great-aunt’s funeral on a bus. It wasn’t super fun for anyone, although the baby didn’t cry very much.) I dislike being near crying babies as much as anyone, and a lot more than most people. But it’s a part of life. You deal with it as gracefully as you can. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2016, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crying-of-a-baby-in-public-is-more-frustrating-because-it-doesnt-know-better/755890/45 "2016-05-30T11:36:25Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > That’s what immediately went through my mind when I read the OP. I flashed on it with the topic line. It was…memorable. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2016, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crying-of-a-baby-in-public-is-more-frustrating-because-it-doesnt-know-better/755890/46 "2016-05-30T15:46:42Z")
My husband can juggle. More than once his doing so in front of crying toddlers or noisy preschoolers has quieted them. I remember one mother exclaiming, “An angel walks among us!” Obviously, this doesn’t work every time and not everyone can juggle. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2016, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crying-of-a-baby-in-public-is-more-frustrating-because-it-doesnt-know-better/755890/47 "2016-05-30T16:30:30Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Unless she’s the woman on the bus in the last episode of M_A_S\*H. Sorry, please enlighten me… ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2016, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crying-of-a-baby-in-public-is-more-frustrating-because-it-doesnt-know-better/755890/48 "2016-05-30T19:41:13Z")
> [@Kaio](#): > > You didn’t actually say that in your post, and I am not actually telepathic… Yes I did. Telepathy not required -just reading comprehension. > [@Mangetout](#): > > I’ve never been in a situation where I was hiding from nazis or velociraptors, and needed the crying baby to be quiet, so we would all survive. I’ve only been in sub-survival-critical \*\*situations such as onboard planes and on public transport. > \*\* > Personally, I find it less frustrating than other types of disturbance. The child can’t help crying. The parents probably can’t stop it crying. Nobody is at fault, and so the situation, although unpleasant, is one that (IMO) must simply be borne with good grace. > Anyone who openly expresses their annoyance toward to parents or child **in this situation** is (IMO) a bit of a dick (I have seen this happen IRL - not accusing anyone here of it). What will it achieve? > > Annoying and frustrating is when someone knows (or could, if they cared, know) that they are causing a disturbance - loud, tinny headphone leakage or loud mobile phone conversations in the ‘quiet’ carriage of the train, for example. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2016, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crying-of-a-baby-in-public-is-more-frustrating-because-it-doesnt-know-better/755890/49 "2016-05-30T20:02:02Z")
> [@Kaio](#): > > } > As far as trains / public transport, yes parents can step off the transit at any stop they wish, including the very next one. And what? Spend an hour on a freezing, windy platform waiting for the next train? I’m sure that will help. > [@](#): > > They can even plan ahead to ensure that the kid is in a good mood aka well-fed and well-rested (or asleep) before traveling, which is also a strategy that can also be useful for planes. > . not everything always goes to plan. Despite everyone’s best intentions and plans, babies may sometimes cry for no particular reason, and be inconsolable. If it happens in a restaurant or theatre or anywhere else where people generally have a choice about being at, I think it’s entirely reasonable to expect that the parents manage the situation by withdrawing, but there are some situations where it is not reasonable to expect that. ---
**Author:** ![Soylent\_Juicy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2016, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crying-of-a-baby-in-public-is-more-frustrating-because-it-doesnt-know-better/755890/50 "2016-05-30T20:32:51Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > Sorry, please enlighten me… From the Wikipedia page: > [@](#): > > Through repeated counseling sessions, Hawkeye recalls that they picked up some refugees and wounded soldiers further up the road as an enemy patrol was coming. The bus had to hide off the road and the occupants were forced to remain quiet. Hawkeye refuses to tell Sidney anything further but then lashes out at two of his fellow patients for getting into a loud argument. Hawkeye says they were screaming like chickens and jokes about chickens taking the bus. Using that as a clue, Sidney digs deeper and Hawkeye remembers a refugee woman who boarded the bus carrying a chicken that would not stop clucking. > > Sidney begins to piece together what led to Hawkeye’s breakdown. Hawkeye insists that he’s perfectly fine but Freedman reminds him that, after returning to the 4077th, Hawkeye had accused an anesthesiologist of trying to smother a patient and then drove a Jeep through a wall in the officers’ club and ordered a double bourbon. After more questioning, Hawkeye remembers telling the refugee to make the chicken be quiet, but when it suddenly stopped making noise, Hawkeye realized that the woman had killed the chicken to silence it. Hawkeye then breaks down sobbing as he remembers that the refugee woman was not carrying a chicken but her infant child and had smothered her baby to death to silence it as Hawkeye had insisted. Hawkeye is initially angry at Sidney for making him remember but Sidney tells him, “You had to get it out in the open. Now we’re halfway home.” Good Lord eh. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2016, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crying-of-a-baby-in-public-is-more-frustrating-because-it-doesnt-know-better/755890/51 "2016-05-31T14:13:55Z")
> [@Carryon](#): > > Certainly the parent has responsibility. The baby crying can often times be removed from the area. Any parent of an infant knows they are just as likely to make a fuss as not, so they can plan for that. > > I have seen mothers and fathers overwhelmed by kids so they just “give up.” There are a multitude of reasons for this, from lack of experience, exhaustion or more rarely, just selfishness. > > A parent who is on a bus with a screaming child could often just take that child off the bus at the next stop and calm him/her down and get on the next bus. > > Of course that wouldn’t work if it was the last bus or if the weather was bad. But then again it comes to planning. Perhaps if your child is prone to crying on the bus you could leave early, thereby giving yourself a choice. > > I recall as a child if we acted up my father would say “Enough, we’re going home.” And that was it. We lost out and I’m sure he was very disappointed too that his outing was ruined. But he was rightfully concerned about allowing us to act up as well as the comfort of other people, more than his own benefit. > > But not everyone would agree with that lesson. Ha, you clearly have never had a baby. Not an older child, a baby. Babies cry sometimes and sometimes there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Obviously you can take a crying baby out of a restaurant but not everything is a restaurant. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2016, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crying-of-a-baby-in-public-is-more-frustrating-because-it-doesnt-know-better/755890/52 "2016-05-31T14:44:35Z")
So, you’re in a group of people hiding from Nazis and a baby - **your baby** - starts crying and won’t stop. Do you kill the child? ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2016, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crying-of-a-baby-in-public-is-more-frustrating-because-it-doesnt-know-better/755890/53 "2016-05-31T16:18:12Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > Ha, you clearly have never had a baby. Not an older child, a baby. Babies cry sometimes and sometimes there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Obviously you can take a crying baby out of a restaurant but not everything is a restaurant. I recall telling a child she was acting very immature and that she should stop crying and act her age. She was about 4 weeks old at the time and stopped squalling as soon as I finished preparing a 4 oz bottle with her formula and plugged it into her pie hole. She was on a 2 or 4 hour schedule (I forget which) and her clock was about 10 minutes fast. But I couldn’t reason with her at all. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2016, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crying-of-a-baby-in-public-is-more-frustrating-because-it-doesnt-know-better/755890/54 "2016-05-31T18:07:00Z")
> [@pool](#): > > We had to leave the last movie we went to see about a quarter of the way through because the youngest wouldn’t stop crying and yelling and just behaving badly. Oh, you **weren’t** the lady that brought your 6 month old to the showing of the latest Captain America that I saw. Because she stayed for the entire movie, even during the 5 different times junior went on a 2-3 minute crying jag!! ---
**Author:** ![Kaio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@Kaio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaio)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2016, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crying-of-a-baby-in-public-is-more-frustrating-because-it-doesnt-know-better/755890/55 "2016-05-31T18:11:29Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > Yes I did. Telepathy not required -just reading comprehension. “In this situation” could easily refer to the situation of a child crying anywhere in public – you know, the topic of this thread. So maybe you should write more clearly if that’s not what you meant. Paragraphs are generally used to indicate a conversational shift. If there wasn’t a shift, don’t use a paragraph break. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2016, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crying-of-a-baby-in-public-is-more-frustrating-because-it-doesnt-know-better/755890/56 "2016-05-31T18:12:05Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > So, you’re in a group of people hiding from Nazis and a baby - **your baby** - starts crying and won’t stop. Do you kill the child? People did. Because you can’t make a baby so crying. My ancestors fled the czar by running through the woods, and they proactively doped my great aunt with ether so she wouldn’t cry and draw attention to them. I’m told they carried the drugged baby in a burlap sack. But i think killing, or even etherizing, babies on airplanes is a bit heavy handed. ---
**Author:** ![Kaio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@Kaio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaio)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2016, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crying-of-a-baby-in-public-is-more-frustrating-because-it-doesnt-know-better/755890/57 "2016-05-31T18:15:47Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > And what? Spend an hour on a freezing, windy platform waiting for the next train? I’m sure that will help. Around here public transit arrives about every ten minutes or less during the day. Might be every 30 in the dead of night, but I’d question having a baby out around town at 3am, short of an emergency, in which case call a cab or an ambulance. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2016, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crying-of-a-baby-in-public-is-more-frustrating-because-it-doesnt-know-better/755890/58 "2016-05-31T20:08:51Z")
> [@Kaio](#): > > Around here public transit arrives about every ten minutes or less during the day. Might be every 30 in the dead of night, but I’d question having a baby out around town at 3am, short of an emergency, in which case call a cab or an ambulance. So what? There are plenty of places in the world that aren’t like ‘around here’. My local train station receives one service per hour in either direction. The platforms only have a small shelter which is open on two sides (i.e. two walls and a roof). About half of the railway stations _around here_ are like that. Anyway, **RobDog** said it better than me. There are any number of perfectly sound reasons why the parents of a crying child may not be able to just step off a train or bus, without putting themselves and their child in a worse situation; therefore, it’s not reasonable to expect them to, and the best thing is for those affected just to endure the noise. The noise is a lesser evil to me than eviction from the vehicle is to them. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2016, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crying-of-a-baby-in-public-is-more-frustrating-because-it-doesnt-know-better/755890/59 "2016-05-31T20:29:31Z")
> [@Kaio](#): > > “In this situation” could easily refer to the situation of a child crying anywhere in public – you know, the topic of this thread. So maybe you should write more clearly if that’s not what you meant. Paragraphs are generally used to indicate a conversational shift. If there wasn’t a shift, don’t use a paragraph break. Well, you still lose here, because the OP in this thread only names three situations, and only two of them are actually specific: [ul] [li]a crowded airplane[/li]li ‘public space’[/li][li]Hiding from the Gestapo[/li][/ul] Paragraphs do not necessarily denote a shift of emphasis - they can also be used to discuss a single topic in three parts: [ul] [li]Define scope or premise[/li][li]Explain the point [/li][li]Sum up or conclude.[/li][/ul] It’s called [linking](http://dissc.tees.ac.uk/Writing/paragraphs/page7.htm). I am guilty of using ‘this’ and ‘it’ in the second paragraph instead of explicitly restating the context, but I thought it was clear enough, especially as I bookended by mentioning public transport in the first and last paragraphs. But what does it matter anyway. It sounds like even if you had understood me to mean public transport, you still think the right thing is for the parents to step out into the pissing rain so as to spare your ears. ---
**Author:** ![Kaio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@Kaio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaio)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2016, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crying-of-a-baby-in-public-is-more-frustrating-because-it-doesnt-know-better/755890/60 "2016-05-31T22:57:48Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > Well, you still lose here, because the OP in this thread only names three situations, and only two of them are actually specific: > [ul] > [li]a crowded airplane[/li]li ‘public space’[/li][li]Hiding from the Gestapo[/li][/ul] :rolleyes: The TITLE OF THE THREAD is “The crying of a baby **in public** is…” Not “The crying of a baby in an airplane.” And I fail to see how I “lose here” with “public space” because, you know, that’s what I’m talking about. > [@](#): > > But what does it matter anyway. It sounds like even if you had understood me to mean public transport, you still think the right thing is for the parents to step out into the pissing rain so as to spare your ears. I didn’t say a word about rain, but nice straw man. _Of course_ I’m talking about the public spaces / public transit I move around in. Babies can’t hurt my head if I’m not there to hear them. (By the way, did you even notice that I’d already said that shrieking babies cause me physical pain? And somehow I’m the bad guy for not wanting to be caused pain just for moving about in public?) Look dude. We’re clearly not even talking about the same topic here, thanks to your unclear antecedents, so let it go already. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crying-of-a-baby-in-public-is-more-frustrating-because-it-doesnt-know-better/755890.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-crying-of-a-baby-in-public-is-more-frustrating-because-it-doesnt-know-better/755890.md?page=4)