# The cure for what ails ya **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 22, 2002, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cure-for-what-ails-ya/138176 "2002-11-22T16:56:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2002, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cure-for-what-ails-ya/138176/21 "2002-11-24T16:16:57Z")
To remove warts: take 3 tbsp of fresh cat urine, add a 1/2 tsp of lye and 1 tsp ginger. Simmer (microwave is OK) until ginger is disolved. Spread on warts daily until wart is gone. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2002, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cure-for-what-ails-ya/138176/22 "2002-11-24T17:28:01Z")
> [@](#): > > brain shrapnel flies everywhere Puree brain shrapnel in blender. Add clove minced garlic, 1 small minced habanero pepper, 2 tsp. honey, 1/2 tsp. coarse sea salt. Place in cup, add boiling water. Drink while water is still scalding hot. ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2002, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cure-for-what-ails-ya/138176/23 "2002-11-24T20:42:08Z")
Peanut butter, blue cheese dressing, green peppers, in a sandwich. Really hits the spot. (Actually, my mom prepared this sandwich and ate it herself. She’s an odd one.) ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2002, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cure-for-what-ails-ya/138176/24 "2002-11-24T20:46:55Z")
you forgot the bananas and mint jelly. ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2002, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cure-for-what-ails-ya/138176/25 "2002-11-24T21:02:56Z")
Roast hedgehog and onions. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2002, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cure-for-what-ails-ya/138176/26 "2002-11-24T21:08:39Z")
I’m suffering from (what I’m sure in my misery is) the world’s worst cough right now. And your first made up cure sounds good. Like it might actually help. Maybe not the milk though - last thing I need is something that increases mucus production. Maybe start with hot water and honey. I’ve been sick and feverish with the cough from hell for four days. I’m desperate. ---
**Author:** ![Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/2bfe46/32.png) [@Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xavier)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2002, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cure-for-what-ails-ya/138176/27 "2002-11-24T21:27:12Z")
What could work… Is either a) A woman with a fine pitcher of ale b) Cat litter (preferably without the poop). When you use it on your face - it seems to clean stuff up (probably b/c it’s clay). It makes you feel a whole lot better though. ---
**Author:** ![TheOtherOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dbc845/32.png) [@TheOtherOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheOtherOne)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2002, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cure-for-what-ails-ya/138176/28 "2002-11-24T21:32:02Z")
One shot jaegermeister One Tablespoon cottage cheese One teaspoon Brother Bru-Bru’s Hot Sauce A dash of Robitussin A splash of Drano Mix well. Apply to the eyes with a Scotch-Brite pad to get rid of redness and dryness. ---
**Author:** ![Xixox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/13edae/32.png) [@Xixox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xixox)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2002, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cure-for-what-ails-ya/138176/29 "2002-11-25T14:19:00Z")
6oz paraffin wax 1 tsp baking soda 1 lemon, chilled & sliced in half. 12" length of raw twine 1/2 c. vinegar Eye-dropper Heat wax in a small pot until thoroughly melted. Incline head to one side and gently spoon baking soda into ear. Fill eye-dropper with vinegar and squirt into ear, make sure to use enough pressure to get the vinegar all the way in. Immediately pour one spoonful of the heated paraffin wax into ear canal. Before wax sets, thread one end of the twine into the soft wax, then hold the lemon half over the ear until wax has fully set (5 - 10 mins). Once wax has fully set, grab the loose end of twine, and with a swift yanking motion dislodge the wax from your ear. Tadaa! No more pesky ear hairs! ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Magic8ball](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Miss\_Magic8ball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Magic8ball)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2002, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cure-for-what-ails-ya/138176/30 "2002-11-25T14:22:34Z")
A smack upside the head. (been working for me…) ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2002, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cure-for-what-ails-ya/138176/31 "2002-11-25T14:34:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dangerosa \* > \*\*I’m suffering from (what I’m sure in my misery is) the world’s worst cough right now. And your first made up cure sounds good. Like it might actually help. Maybe not the milk though - last thing I need is something that increases mucus production. Maybe start with hot water and honey. > > I’ve been sick and feverish with the cough from hell for four days. I’m desperate. \*\* Let us know how it goes 😉 ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2002, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cure-for-what-ails-ya/138176/32 "2002-11-25T14:38:04Z")
3 tablespoons cod liver oil 1 and 1/2 cups minced sardines 4 ounces freshly grated horse radish 1 cup of mashed cold brussels sprouts 1 quart liquified non-dairy creamer Blend all ingredients and pour into large bowl. Let set 48 hours uncovered in the refrigerator. Apply to face. Removes unsightly laugh lines, bags, acne and possibly the top three layers of skin. You may also spread it around the perimeter of your yard. It is a sure fire way to keep the neighborhood dogs from using your yard for “business.” ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2002, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cure-for-what-ails-ya/138176/33 "2002-11-25T14:54:37Z")
I’ve heard you can also pour it down ant holes… ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2002, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cure-for-what-ails-ya/138176/34 "2002-11-25T16:42:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by OpalCat \* > \*\*AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! > _head explodes_ > _brain shrapnel flies everywhere_ > _huge splat of blood lands on Coldie’s face_ \*\* Oh, well, you know, to fix that, all you need is some duct tape. And a mop. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2002, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cure-for-what-ails-ya/138176/35 "2002-11-25T17:02:06Z")
1 TBSP Wasabi 1 tsp Mineral Ice 1/2 tsp Tobasco 2 TBSP KY Jelly 2 Small Baloons Mix first four ingrediants throroughly and generously coat baloons. Insert baloons, one in each, into nostrils (be sure open ends remain outside the nose). Once the baloons are all the way in, blow them up. When they pop, your sinus problems should be relieved. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-cure-for-what-ails-ya/138176.md?page=1)