# The curse of same sex marriage, according to FounderChurch **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 15, 2012, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-same-sex-marriage-according-to-founderchurch/628331 "2012-07-15T19:07:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-same-sex-marriage-according-to-founderchurch/628331/21 "2012-07-16T03:15:37Z")
If Plural Marriage is always a positive and same sex is always a negative, then the solution is for mass plural (sham) marriages where large numbers of people are married, but no one cares if John and Bob are always off with each other. Right? That works for FounderChurch, right? As long as there’s at least one man and at least one woman somewhere in the mix? ---
**Author:** ![Dissonance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85f322/32.png) [@Dissonance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dissonance)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-same-sex-marriage-according-to-founderchurch/628331/22 "2012-07-16T05:18:27Z")
> [@John\_DiFool](#): > > Some people have made the mistake of seeing Shunt’s work as a load of rubbish about railway timetables, but clever people like me, who talk loudly in restaurants, see this as a deliberate ambiguity, a plea for understanding in a mechanized world. The points are frozen, the beast is dead. What is the difference? What indeed is the point? The point is frozen, the beast is late out of Paddington. The point is taken. If La Fontaine’s elk would spurn Tom Jones the engine must be our head, the dining car our oesophagus, the guard’s van our left lung, the cattle truck our shins, the first-class compartment the piece of skin at the nape of the neck and the level crossing an electric elk called Simon. The clarity is devastating. But where is the ambiguity? It’s over there in a box. Shunt is saying the 8.15 from Gillingham when in reality he means the 8.13 from Gillingham. The train is the same only the time is altered. Ecce homo, ergo elk. La Fontaine knew his sister and knew her bloody well. The point is taken, the beast is moulting, the fluff gets up your nose. The illusion is complete; it is reality, the reality is illusion and the ambiguity is the only truth. But is the truth, as Hitchcock observes, in the box? No there isn’t room, the ambiguity has put on weight. The point is taken, the elk is dead, the beast stops at Swindon, Chabrol stops at nothing, I’m having treatment and La Fontaine can get knotted. This post has been graped by the grapist. God help me I miss that guy sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-same-sex-marriage-according-to-founderchurch/628331/23 "2012-07-16T06:30:22Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > If Plural Marriage is always a positive and same sex is always a negative, then the solution is for mass plural (sham) marriages where large numbers of people are married, but no one cares if John and Bob are always off with each other. Right? That works for FounderChurch, right? As long as there’s at least one man and at least one woman somewhere in the mix? Yeah, you get a man, and his female wives and his male wives, and so long as The Man gets what he needs (because a man has his needs, ya know), and so long as the wives don’t get it on with another husband, then who cares what the wives do. So it’s ok to be gay so long as you’re a straight man’s wife. Oh, and not a foreigner: it’s ok to bring female wives in, but not male wives. ---
**Author:** ![Ele\_the\_Stoic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4bbf92/32.png) [@Ele\_the\_Stoic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ele_the_Stoic)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-same-sex-marriage-according-to-founderchurch/628331/24 "2012-07-16T07:44:23Z")
Hooray, now I get to speak my mind. I was biting my tongue that whole thread. I’m new, I’m already on the bubble. I tried to keep in mind readers may come in through google believing the same thing as the OP, even if the OP himself is just trollin’ round the block, but it is _so hard_ to take that guy or anything he says seriously. His arguments are pretty asinine, but _god damn that blue shit and alternate bolding just screams I’m a jackass_. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-same-sex-marriage-according-to-founderchurch/628331/25 "2012-07-16T13:52:27Z")
Well, I guess no one’s going to like [the new poster **Blabber** much either](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15275475&postcount=64), given that he’s not only posting in blue text, he’s doing it in Comic Sans, no less. Regarding **FounderChurch** , my personal favorite insane rant from him so far is this: [Quote=FounderChurch] NO, that is just your opinion, and it only has the value I give it, and I give it zero value. As for your deluded mind, you can think whatever nonsense you want, with my blessing. I care nothing for what any Heathen or Democrat thinks, and address nothing to them, and hope to teach them nothing at all. I speak only to Conservative Believers and only have interest in them. [/quote] If I could modify the tag under my screen name, it would so be “Heathen and Democrat” right now. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-same-sex-marriage-according-to-founderchurch/628331/26 "2012-07-16T14:05:01Z")
Terminology is all fucked up as well. In traditional Christian terms, a “heathen” is someone who has had no contact with Christianity, a member of the Bongobongo tribe in the darkest jungles. A “pagan” is one who has heard, but didn’t buy any. Most likely, you fall into the latter group. I recommend a swift application of the Guitar of Truth, upside the jawbone. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-same-sex-marriage-according-to-founderchurch/628331/27 "2012-07-16T14:12:22Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > Well, I guess no one’s going to like [the new poster **Blabber** much either](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15275475&postcount=64), given that he’s not only posting in blue text, he’s doing it in Comic Sans, no less. That, and he’s also a complete fucking berk. ---
**Author:** ![Simplicio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@Simplicio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simplicio)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-same-sex-marriage-according-to-founderchurch/628331/28 "2012-07-16T14:21:00Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > Well, I guess no one’s going to like [the new poster **Blabber** much either](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15275475&postcount=64), given that he’s not only posting in blue text, he’s doing it in Comic Sans, no less. I’ve always kind of wondered about the link between people who were passionate about weird conspiracy theories and writing in stranger colors with weird capitalization schemes and fonts. Even before the internet, newspaper editors would call letters from crackpots “green ink letters” so its not just a message board thing. Its kind of useful, since it makes it easy to recognize crackpottery without having to actually read it. But you’d think the crackpots would know they’re writing in a style associated with crackpots and try to change. And why are they so similar? I can’t imagine all the truthers and UFO watchers and numerologists of the world all know each other and met to establish some bizarro world style-guide. ETA: (also, “the curse of the same sex marriage” sounds like a really bad Indiana Jones sequel) ---
**Author:** ![Death\_of\_Rats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@Death\_of\_Rats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Death_of_Rats)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-same-sex-marriage-according-to-founderchurch/628331/29 "2012-07-16T14:45:51Z")
It is the electronic form of getting as close to crayon as they can so it looks familiar to them. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-same-sex-marriage-according-to-founderchurch/628331/30 "2012-07-16T14:46:20Z")
Well, “heathen” has a certain panache to it, misusage notwithstanding. > [@Simplicio](#): > > I’ve always kind of wondered about the link between people who were passionate about weird conspiracy theories and writing in stranger colors with weird capitalization schemes and fonts. Plain text is just so inadequate when one is trying to get **THE TRUTH** through the thick heads of the unwashed masses. ---
**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-same-sex-marriage-according-to-founderchurch/628331/31 "2012-07-16T15:34:35Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > … I recommend a swift application of the Guitar of Truth, upside the jawbone. I’d recommend the one string, Woody Guthrie signature edition, Louisville Slugger (with the _This Machine Kills Fascists_ sticker not the cheap knock-off). Best part is the Woody-woody goes a lot longer between tunings than your regular six or twelve string Guitar of Truth! CMC fnord! ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-same-sex-marriage-according-to-founderchurch/628331/32 "2012-07-16T15:49:44Z")
I’ve tried applying the guitar of truth many times. I suspect it only works when applied by Sen. “Bluto” Blutarsky. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-same-sex-marriage-according-to-founderchurch/628331/33 "2012-07-16T16:36:10Z")
> [@Simplicio](#): > > Google has made this place like Beetlejuice. You say a word to many times, and it summons weirdos. Styrofoam underpants! Styrofoam underpants! Styrofoam underpants! Let’s see what that brings. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-same-sex-marriage-according-to-founderchurch/628331/34 "2012-07-16T16:38:13Z")
> [@Simplicio](#): > > I’ve always kind of wondered about the link between people who were passionate about weird conspiracy theories and writing in stranger colors with weird capitalization schemes and fonts. > > Even before the internet, newspaper editors would call letters from crackpots “green ink letters” so its not just a message board thing. > > Its kind of useful, since it makes it easy to recognize crackpottery without having to actually read it. But you’d think the crackpots would know they’re writing in a style associated with crackpots and try to change. > > And why are they so similar? I can’t imagine all the truthers and UFO watchers and numerologists of the world all know each other and met to establish some bizarro world style-guide. > > ETA: (also, “the curse of the same sex marriage” sounds like a really bad Indiana Jones sequel) In my personal correspondence, I tend to use purple ink. However, if I’m writing to someone I don’t know, I use blue, black, or blue-black ink, if I’m handwriting, and I use black ink if it’s printed, unless I actually need to use another color for an image. This is specifically so that I don’t get labeled as a crackpot right off the bat. I want to have a chance to lure someone in, for that person to not suspect a thing until I unleash my true awesome crackpottery. ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-same-sex-marriage-according-to-founderchurch/628331/35 "2012-07-16T16:40:32Z")
> [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#): > > Styrofoam underpants! Styrofoam underpants! Styrofoam underpants! > > Let’s see what that brings. 😃 _shifts in chair__creaks_ :eek: Well thank YOU very much :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-same-sex-marriage-according-to-founderchurch/628331/36 "2012-07-16T16:41:38Z")
> [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#): > > Styrofoam underpants! Styrofoam underpants! Styrofoam underpants! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s… Caffeinated Beverage Man! ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Quixotic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Don\_Quixotic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Quixotic)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-same-sex-marriage-according-to-founderchurch/628331/37 "2012-07-16T16:46:03Z")
> [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#): > > Styrofoam underpants! Styrofoam underpants! Styrofoam underpants! > > Let’s see what that brings. 😃 Chafing, chafing, chafing. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-same-sex-marriage-according-to-founderchurch/628331/38 "2012-07-16T16:50:07Z")
> [@Simplicio](#): > > And why are they so similar? I can’t imagine all the truthers and UFO watchers and numerologists of the world all know each other and met to establish some bizarro world style-guide. :rolleyes: Only because you’re one of the sheeple who believes the **lamestream media**. Conspiracy theorists have been meeting and establishing standards at least since May 1, 1776, when the Bavarian Illuminati were founded. Although some still meet under that banner, they have also infiltrated the Freemasons, the Trilateral Commission, and the Comic-Con Administration (who claimed they were throwing me out for “grooming issues” but really were afraid that I’d show everyone the Man Behind the Curtain). ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-same-sex-marriage-according-to-founderchurch/628331/39 "2012-07-16T16:55:09Z")
˙ǝɹǝɥ ʇuǝɯǝɹınbǝɹ ɐ ʇou s,ʇı ʎɥʍ ʍouʞ ʇ,uop ı ˙sƃɐʇ uoıʇɐɔıɟıpoɯ ʇxǝʇ ǝsoɥʇ ןןɐ ǝsn noʎ uǝɥʍ ɹǝɹɐǝןɔ ɥɔnɯ os s,ʇı ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-same-sex-marriage-according-to-founderchurch/628331/40 "2012-07-16T17:33:51Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > :rolleyes: Only because you’re one of the sheeple who believes the **lamestream media**. Conspiracy theorists have been meeting and establishing standards at least since May 1, 1776, when the Bavarian Illuminati were founded. Although some still meet under that banner, they have also infiltrated the Freemasons, the Trilateral Commission, and the Comic-Con Administration (who claimed they were throwing me out for “grooming issues” but really were afraid that I’d show everyone the Man Behind the Curtain). You’ve been taking lessons from that woman who has that pro-smoking website, haven’t you? HAVEN’T YOU??? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-same-sex-marriage-according-to-founderchurch/628331.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-same-sex-marriage-according-to-founderchurch/628331.md?page=3)