# The Curse of the Donkeys
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-the-donkeys/333917
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [December 3, 2005, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-the-donkeys/333917 "2005-12-03T17:58:08Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@New\_Iskander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/New_Iskander)
#### Post date: [December 3, 2005, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-the-donkeys/333917/1 "2005-12-03T17:58:08Z")
I had many a verbal spat with resident Democrats on this Board and all the while I was puzzled by the most curious _communalism_ of theirs. You argue with one of them, sooner or later all the other will make an obligatory appearance and try to kick you, at least once. At first, I tend to dismiss this phenomenon as simple herd behavior, but somehow I knew it wasn’t the real answer.
Republicans are simple. They are just like Elephants. They make a solitary appearance, trumpet their message, sometimes stomp around if in a bad mood and eventually withdraw. They rarely acknowledge each other presence and certainly never join in undignified pile-ons.
But Donkeys are different, wherein lied the mystery. Donkeys are not herd animals, so what makes them so _communal_? Like all fundamental truths, the answer, of course, was simple and as old as time. All I needed was a key, which was inadvertendly provided by **Ukulele Ike** , [when he blurted](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=6858548&postcount=169) that he was tired of me. Tired Donkeys? Aesop’s fables? [But of course](http://www.mythfolklore.net/aesopica/oxford/568.htm)!
> [@](#):
>
> The donkeys were tired of being burdened with burdens and labouring all the days of their lives, so they sent ambassadors to Zeus, asking him to release them from their toil. Zeus, wanting to show them that they had asked for something impossible, said that their suffering would come to an end on the day when they pissed a river. The donkeys took him seriously and **to this day whenever donkeys see where another donkey has pissed, they come to a halt and piss in the same place.**
So, our resident Dems are simply trying to piss up a river, since time immemorial.
Mystery solved.
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### Author:  [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)
#### Post date: [December 3, 2005, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-the-donkeys/333917/2 "2005-12-03T18:02:58Z")
Wow. What a perfect example of someone with an excellent education who manages to remain stoopid as a plank.
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### Author:  [@fluiddruid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluiddruid)
#### Post date: [December 3, 2005, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-the-donkeys/333917/3 "2005-12-03T18:07:31Z")
> [@New Iskander](#):
>
> Republicans are simple. They are just like Elephants. They make a solitary appearance, trumpet their message, sometimes stomp around if in a bad mood and eventually withdraw. They rarely acknowledge each other presence and certainly never join in undignified pile-ons.
Oh, sure. No pile-ons at all. Their stauch individualism explains why Rush Limbaugh’s right-wing fans call themselves Dittoheads.
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### Author:  [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)
#### Post date: [December 3, 2005, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-the-donkeys/333917/4 "2005-12-03T18:19:07Z")
Maybe it’s because the “elephants” insist on raising their trunks to the sky and trupeting the same lies, halftruths, and pure bullshit so much. They present it as fact (it ain’t). They get called on it in a thread, and they resort to insults or “treason” or “stay the course”. When called for cites, they only occasionally produce them. When cornered, they quibble, contradict, and derail into semantic bullshit. Failing all that, they disappear from the thread, only to start another one with the same damn OP some time later.
Maybe some of us just don’t buy into the bullshit.
Maybe it’s because scientifically and all, the elephants can and do produce more shit than any donkey.
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### Author:  [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)
#### Post date: [December 3, 2005, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-the-donkeys/333917/5 "2005-12-03T18:25:04Z")
> [@fluiddruid](#):
>
> Oh, sure. No pile-ons at all. Their stauch individualism explains why Rush Limbaugh’s right-wing fans call themselves Dittoheads.
To be fair, on this particular board Democrat pile-ons are WAY more common then Republican ones. I think that’s because there’s more Democrats then Republicans here, not because of some innate difference between the two.
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### Author:  [@fluiddruid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluiddruid)
#### Post date: [December 3, 2005, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-the-donkeys/333917/6 "2005-12-03T18:30:27Z")
> [@Metacom](#):
>
> To be fair, on this particular board Democrat pile-ons are WAY more common then Republican ones. I think that’s because there’s more Democrats then Republicans here, not because of some innate difference between the two.
Perhaps it was too generous of me to assume that **New Iskander** observes phenomenon outside this message board.
I’m not saying Democrats are perfect; some of them are shrill and histrionic. It just doesn’t prove anything. Argue the issues, or criticize specific politicians and their actions; sweeping generalizations like “Republicans are individualistic, Democrats can’t think for themselves” are flatly stupid.
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### Author:  [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)
#### Post date: [December 3, 2005, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-the-donkeys/333917/7 "2005-12-03T18:50:16Z")
Damn, just when you think he can’t get any stupider…
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### Author:  [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)
#### Post date: [December 3, 2005, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-the-donkeys/333917/8 "2005-12-03T18:50:38Z")
> [@SteveG1](#):
>
> Maybe it’s because the “elephants” insist on raising their trunks to the sky and trupeting the same lies, halftruths, and pure bullshit so much. They present it as fact (it ain’t). They get called on it in a thread, and they resort to insults or “treason” or “stay the course”. When called for cites, they only occasionally produce them. When cornered, they quibble, contradict, and derail into semantic bullshit. Failing all that, they disappear from the thread, only to start another one with the same damn OP some time later.
> Maybe some of us just don’t buy into the bullshit.
> Maybe it’s because scientifically and all, the elephants can and do produce more shit than any donkey.
Or maybe it’s because they make silly posts alluding to greek literary charcters in a thread about politics and then get so enamored with the post that, when it’s roundly ignored, they decide to start a thread saying the exact same thing.
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### Author:  [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)
#### Post date: [December 3, 2005, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-the-donkeys/333917/9 "2005-12-03T19:09:09Z")
> [@New Iskander](#):
>
> Republicans are simple. They are just like Elephants. They make a solitary appearance, trumpet their message, sometimes stomp around if in a bad mood and eventually withdraw. They rarely acknowledge each other presence and certainly never join in undignified pile-ons.
You never read any of **Reeder’s** threads, did you?
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### Author:  [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)
#### Post date: [December 3, 2005, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-the-donkeys/333917/10 "2005-12-03T19:12:14Z")
> [@Aesop](#):
>
> **The Lion, Jupiter, and the Elephant**
> …As these thoughts passed through his mind, he met an Elephant and came close to hold a conversation with him. After a time he observed that the Elephant shook his ears very often, and he inquired what was the matter and why his ears moved with such a tremor every now and then. Just at that moment a Gnat settled on the head of the Elephant, and he replied, “Do you see that little buzzing insect? If it enters my ear, my fate is sealed. I should die presently.” The Lion said, “Well, since so huge a beast is afraid of a tiny gnat, I will no more complain, nor wish myself dead. I find myself, even as I am, better off than the Elephant.”
>
> **The Donkey and the Mule**
> A donkey and a mule, both well laden, were trudging along the road together. As long as the donkey travelled along the plain, he carried his load with ease. But when he began to walk upwards along the steep path of a mountain, his load became more than he could bear. Therefore he begged his companion to relieve him of a small portion, that he might carry home the rest. But the mule paid no attention to it. In a short while after that, the donkey fell down dead under his burden.
> Not knowing what else to do in so wild a region, the muleteer placed the donkey’s load on the mule in addition to his own. Finally, at the top of all he put the hide of the donkey after skinning him.
> The mule, groaning beneath his heavy burden, said to himself:
> “I brought it on myself. If I had been willing to help the donkey a little in his need, I should not now be bearing his burden and himself.”
After the Elephant died 😉 , I see the Republicans as the Mule, and the burden is the result of alienating would be allies both abroad and at home.
The wisdom is there from time immemorial all right, but Idiots like **New Iskander** ignore that the morale to the tale belongs to another era: The fable’s morale is that a person cannot escape his allotted fate to be a slave or a servant. The American Revolution was based in refuting that fate.
So go away you stupid melon farmer.
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### Author:  [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)
#### Post date: [December 3, 2005, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-the-donkeys/333917/11 "2005-12-03T19:25:00Z")
> [@GIGObuster](#):
>
> So go away you stupid melon farmer.
That reminded me of yet another fable, and it illustrates how such people alienate and attack, or just enrage those who might otherwise be allies on at elast some issues, or be willing to listen (or at least not immediately attack). It could be applied to the deliberately inflammatory posts, OP’s, etc.
It is the story of the scorpion.
The turtle and the scorpion were at a river bank. The scorpion asked the turtle for a ride across, as he could not swim. The turtle said, “you will sting me and I will die”. The scorpion answered I will not sting. Trust me". After further conversation, the turtle agreed. Halfway across the river, the scorpion stung. The turtle said “Why did you sting me? Now we will both die”. To which the scorpion answered “I couldn’t help it. It’s my nature”.
Some people are the scorpions. You just know what they are going to do, you just know their words are meaningless. Every time you try to hold a discussion, they always revert to their true nature.
And then there are those who are just fucking dense.
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### Author:  [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)
#### Post date: [December 3, 2005, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-the-donkeys/333917/12 "2005-12-03T19:25:16Z")
Never thought i’d see it.
A thread about donkeys, started by a jackass.
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### Author:  [@yBeayf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yBeayf)
#### Post date: [December 3, 2005, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-the-donkeys/333917/13 "2005-12-03T19:33:56Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Republicans are simple. They are just like Elephants. They make a solitary appearance, trumpet their message, sometimes stomp around if in a bad mood and eventually withdraw. They rarely acknowledge each other presence and certainly never join in undignified pile-ons.
You are aware, of course, that elephants are herd animals, who form extremely tight and long-lasting social bonds and are led by females?
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### Author:  [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)
#### Post date: [December 3, 2005, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-the-donkeys/333917/14 "2005-12-03T19:43:20Z")
> [@yBeayf](#):
>
> You are aware, of course, that elephants are herd animals, who form extremely tight and long-lasting social bonds and are led by females?
He may have meant the males. They are mostly solitary critters and can be very antisocial. During breeding season (musth?) they often go bat shit crazy and will attack and kill anything that moves. Very dangerous. They are special, bless their hearts. 😃
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### Author:  [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)
#### Post date: [December 3, 2005, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-the-donkeys/333917/15 "2005-12-03T19:54:58Z")
> [@](#):
>
> You are aware, of course,…
I am not sure that there is any legitimate way to use this expression when addressing **New Iskander**. (Certainly not with a straight face.)
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### Author:  [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)
#### Post date: [December 3, 2005, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-the-donkeys/333917/16 "2005-12-03T19:56:07Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#):
>
> Damn, just when you think he can’t get any stupider…
I didn’t think that! 😉
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### Author:  [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)
#### Post date: [December 3, 2005, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-the-donkeys/333917/17 "2005-12-03T20:16:08Z")
> [@New Iskander](#):
>
> Republicans are simple.
Some of them, yes…
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### Author:  [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)
#### Post date: [December 3, 2005, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-the-donkeys/333917/18 "2005-12-03T20:39:29Z")
If you ask me it’s all a CIA plot.
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### Author:  [@New\_Iskander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/New_Iskander)
#### Post date: [December 3, 2005, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-the-donkeys/333917/19 "2005-12-03T21:03:13Z")
> [@Maureen](#):
>
> Or maybe it’s because they make silly posts alluding to greek literary charcters in a thread about politics and then get so enamored with the post that, when it’s roundly ignored, they decide to start a thread saying the exact same thing.
What you suggest, hijack the original thread? Typical…
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### Author:  [@New\_Iskander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/New_Iskander)
#### Post date: [December 3, 2005, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-curse-of-the-donkeys/333917/20 "2005-12-03T21:07:36Z")
> [@tomndebb](#):
>
> I am not sure that there is any legitimate way to use this expression when addressing **New Iskander**. (Certainly not with a straight face.)
Go ahead, piss me a river.
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