“This isn’t what I paid for!”
“Sir, this is precisely what you paid for. The cheapest hotel in downtown Oslo.”
“I want a discount, have you seen how my room looks like?”
“Vaguely like the cheapest room in Oslo? If you haven’t done anything in your room, you can have a full refund if you like.”
“I’ve taken a shower and unpacked my stuff and threw down on the bed and watched the telly for thirty minutes.”
“I’m sorry, sir, it’s nearly 9PM, the maids have all gone home and so I can’t re-sell the room and you can’t have a refund. This is outlined here, in your order, here on the information placcard under your nose and here, in the greeting card I gave you when you checked in. Sorry, sir.”
“Whatever! This shit hotel is way too expensive, I’m never coming back and I’m telling all my friends, too!”
“Sir, we’re the cheapest hotel a two hour driving radius. The only accomodations cheaper than us ask you to pay seperately for your linens, towels, warm water and they close their doors at 8PM.”
“I can’t imagine why anyone would like to live in this hotel!”
“Look, you entitled piece of shit, you just paid $110 for a three-bed room inclusive breakfast, one hundred metres away from the central train station, walk-in, no cockroaches, your own bathroom, television, phone, wireless internet, king-size double bed and a complimentary fucking mint. May I remind you that the going price for a standard 20 square metre single room in Oslo is $350 for walkins? And talking about living here, well, it doesn’t look like the Argentinian ambassador to Norway in room #xxx minds, nor the guy who just got knighted with the St. Olav’s Order first class - who’s lived here every time he’s been in Oslo since '92 - or the guy in #xxx who’s lived here continuously for the last twenty-four years! May I politely tell you and overinflated ego to go floss with barbed wire?”
Arrrrgh. I stand my position; mandatory military service in this country should be abolished for a year of mandatory customer service. Maybe these assholes would go away.