# The day after Christmas and all I have are 4 buns and no ham. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 26, 2008, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737 "2008-12-26T16:01:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/41 "2008-12-26T22:31:11Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > Well, I hate ham. :eek: I don’t understand how that is possible. I mean, I can understand hating turkey, or \*giving \*blowjobs, or me when I’m bloviating. But _ **ham** _? That’s like hating coffee, getting _blowjobs_, or Superman when he’s just caught the airplane you were riding in just before it would have crashed into the baseball stadium. It doesn’t make a lick of sense. ---
**Author:** ![Ensign\_Edison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@Ensign\_Edison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ensign_Edison)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/42 "2008-12-26T22:42:23Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > My read is that **EE** spent Christmas without any family at all, with nothing to really eat, and no money to buy anything, let alone a monitor. Or at least **EE** is trying to point out that some people have Christmases like that. And, while he has a _bit_ of a point, it’s kind of rude to threadshit like that. If he wants to pit his Christmas (or even if he wants to pit **HD** for starting this pit thread) he needs to start his own thread for it, because **HD** ’s pit thread here isn’t exactly a travesty of justice or anything. You know where you can fuck off back to. This is still the Pit, despite the pretty pink rumblings of an imminent teaparty from above. If he only wants hugs and kisses, he needs to get somebody to read the board rules and titles to him. It wasn’t some random attack, it was a specific response to the contents of the original post. He put forth his position, and my response to it is that it is a bunch of spoiled whining from someone with no sense of how lucky he is. Not all suffering is relative, but bitching about how you only got HALF A POUND OF HAM to eat on Christmas is ridiculous. And if I pitting him for this Pit I’d have a bunch of people quite rightly asking why I couldn’t just do it in this one. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/43 "2008-12-26T22:53:11Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > :eek: > > I don’t understand how that is possible. I mean, I can understand hating turkey, or \*giving \*blowjobs, or me when I’m bloviating. But _ **ham** _? That’s like hating coffee, getting _blowjobs_, or Superman when he’s just caught the airplane you were riding in just before it would have crashed into the baseball stadium. It doesn’t make a lick of sense. Ham is nasty. It tastes like, I don’t know, all hammy. Gross. Now bacon and barbeque, that’s what the pig is for. But not ham. Of course, my mom always gets the giant Christmas ham and there’s no free food but ham at her house for ages. I believe Dorothy Parker said “Eternity is two people and a five pound ham.” ETA - I also hate coffee. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/44 "2008-12-26T22:54:37Z")
> [@Ensign\_Edison](#): > > You know where you can fuck off back to. This is still the Pit, despite the pretty pink rumblings of an imminent teaparty from above. If he only wants hugs and kisses, he needs to get somebody to read the board rules and titles to him. It wasn’t some random attack, it was a specific response to the contents of the original post. He put forth his position, and my response to it is that it is a bunch of spoiled whining from someone with no sense of how lucky he is. Not all suffering is relative, but bitching about how you only got HALF A POUND OF HAM to eat on Christmas is ridiculous. > > And if I pitting him for this Pit I’d have a bunch of people quite rightly asking why I couldn’t just do it in this one. What the fuck ever. I didn’t attack you. I made a REALLY polite criticism of a threadshit. I’m sorry your life sucks, but that’s not down to me, or **HD**. ---
**Author:** ![Ensign\_Edison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@Ensign\_Edison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ensign_Edison)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/45 "2008-12-26T22:58:29Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > What the fuck ever. I didn’t attack you. I made a REALLY polite criticism of a threadshit. I’m sorry your life sucks, but that’s not down to me, or **HD**. I don’t know why you’re making shit up, but I never said one word about myself, and I didn’t accuse you of attacking me. I said my response was not threadshitting. Apparently you think if you accuse people of being a jerk nicely enough, they’re not allowed to defend themselves? ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/46 "2008-12-26T23:01:18Z")
> [@FoieGrasIsEvil](#): > > **Harmonious** , why can’t you convince your Mom to NOT let these family members bring their dog over if it’s continually so destructive? > > Although if she’s keeping that nasty ham in the fridge, she may not be very reasonable. > > Try waggling the doggie-spooged ham in front of her for emphasis when you tell her how frustrated you are by the dog messes. > > Anyway, sorry to hear about all your medical problems and I hope the New Year brings continued health improvement for you. Thanks and I hope for as much improvement as I can get be it slow or not. jayjay unless you have at least ten people with the same problem with you in a thread you can ignore the poster, because there is always someone that is offended. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/47 "2008-12-26T23:01:21Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > Ham is nasty. It tastes like, I don’t know, all hammy. Gross. Now bacon and barbeque, that’s what the pig is for. But not ham. > > Of course, my mom always gets the giant Christmas ham and there’s no free food but ham at her house for ages. I believe Dorothy Parker said “Eternity is two people and a five pound ham.” > > ETA - I also hate coffee. :eek: But..but..but how can that be? Aslan gave us coffee to give us fortitude, courage, and addtional bowel movements because he knew would would eventually have to fight Darkseid without him at our side and he did not want to be constantly bothered by frantic pleas of “Please, Aslan! Come save us from the Orcs!” while he was sexing up Glinda the Good Witch! ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/48 "2008-12-26T23:06:22Z")
> [@Ensign\_Edison](#): > > I don’t know why you’re making shit up, but I never said one word about myself, and I didn’t accuse you of attacking me. I said my response was not threadshitting. Apparently you think if you accuse people of being a jerk nicely enough, they’re not allowed to defend themselves? And I’m saying that it was the DEFINITION of threadshitting. If **HD** had committed some horrible defamation of someone or something, sure, it’s okay to flame him in his own pit thread. But he did nothing of the sort. He explained why his Christmas sucked. And it did. The fact that it did not suck as much as the homeless guy’s who lives under the bridge is immaterial. I’m pretty sure we had this discussion on this board before, that coming into a “my \_\_\_\_ sucked!” thread to say that the OP’s \_\_\_\_ didn’t suck half as much as some people’s so he should just shut the fuck up is actually threadshitting, even in the Pit. ---
**Author:** ![Ensign\_Edison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@Ensign\_Edison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ensign_Edison)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/49 "2008-12-26T23:13:16Z")
Okay, does anybody else here have the impression it’s not okay to flame people in their own Pit threads over the exact content of their posts, but is more proper to start a whole new thread? Because that goes against my observations entirely. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/50 "2008-12-26T23:14:01Z")
> [@Ensign\_Edison](#): > > I don’t know why you’re making shit up, but I never said one word about myself, and I didn’t accuse you of attacking me. I said my response was not threadshitting. Apparently you think if you accuse people of being a jerk nicely enough, they’re not allowed to defend themselves? Whatever. Here’s an idea: why don’t you go fuck yourself? Better yet, go stuff a ham up your ass and visit a dog pound around feeding time. Hey, it’s not so bad; after all, people have been through worse. ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/51 "2008-12-26T23:16:08Z")
> [@Ensign\_Edison](#): > > Okay, does anybody else here have the impression it’s not okay to flame people in their own Pit threads over the exact content of their posts, but is more proper to start a whole new thread? Because that goes against my observations entirely. My impression is that you were being a dick. ---
**Author:** ![SSG\_Schwartz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SSG\_Schwartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSG_Schwartz)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/52 "2008-12-26T23:17:32Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > :eek: > > I don’t understand how that is possible. I mean, I can understand hating turkey, or \*giving \*blowjobs, or me when I’m bloviating. But _ **ham** _? That’s like hating coffee, getting _blowjobs_, or Superman when he’s just caught the airplane you were riding in just before it would have crashed into the baseball stadium. It doesn’t make a lick of sense. Ham is friggin’ nasty. It looks like a pencil eraser, and tastes like a salted one. FTR, I love getting blowjobs and Superman at the ballpark. Now hating _turkey_, that’s like hating the Cubs, Willie Nelson, or Paris Hilton being sent to China for a proper caning. YMMNV SSG Schwartz ---
**Author:** ![Ensign\_Edison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@Ensign\_Edison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ensign_Edison)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/53 "2008-12-26T23:19:56Z")
> [@Q.E.D](#): > > Whatever. Here’s an idea: why don’t you go fuck yourself? Better yet, go stuff a ham up your ass and visit a dog pound around feeding time. Hey, it’s not so bad; after all, people have been through worse. I never said that – jayjay put those words in my mouth. It’s possible to think what somebody went through is not that bad objectively, without resorting to comparisons. Anybody who is complaining about plenty of food, money and family around them not being sufficient, without even a shred of suggestion that they appreciate what they have, has a fucked-up, spoiled perspective in my opinion, and that would be true even if everybody had all that stuff. And as far as I know, the correct place to express my views about the content of an OP is within the OT. Threadshitting would be if I said “this thread is stupid because I hate ham” or “this thread sucks because of something the OP posted in some other thread three years ago”. If we can’t disagree here, why do the mods refuse to close threads that go badly for the original poster when that person complains? ---
**Author:** ![Ensign\_Edison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@Ensign\_Edison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ensign_Edison)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/54 "2008-12-26T23:21:08Z")
> [@Stratocaster](#): > > My impression is that you were being a dick. Okay. Do you have an opinion on the question of whether I should have cluttered up the Pit with two threads on this subject instead of using the same freedom you have to express my views on the thread content within the thread? Because jayjay thinks I should have. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/55 "2008-12-26T23:25:30Z")
> [@SSG\_Schwartz](#): > > FTR, I love getting blowjobs and Superman at the ballpark. Just wondered what you do with Superman once you’ve gotten him. ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/56 "2008-12-26T23:25:43Z")
> [@Ensign\_Edison](#): > > Okay. Do you have an opinion on the question of whether I should have cluttered up the Pit with two threads on this subject instead of using the same freedom you have to express my views on the thread content within the thread? Because jayjay thinks I should have. I think you were entitled to post what you did. But I can’t fathom how anyone who read that OP could have the reaction, “You’re kidding me! Sounds pretty sweet to me, you whiner.” Unless someone is destitute and starving, they can’t bitch about something that was objectively sucky? That OP was made for the Pit, and your reaction to it was bizarre. ---
**Author:** ![SSG\_Schwartz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SSG\_Schwartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSG_Schwartz)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/57 "2008-12-26T23:39:34Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > Just wondered what you do with Superman once you’ve gotten him. Trade Aquaman for cash and a rising prospect. 😃 SSG Schwartz ---
**Author:** ![MadPansy64](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dc4da7/32.png) [@MadPansy64](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadPansy64)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/58 "2008-12-26T23:45:44Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > I believe Dorothy Parker said “Eternity is two people and a five pound ham.” Thanks! I’ve had that quote on my mind for a while, but couldn’t remember who said it. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2008, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/59 "2008-12-27T00:50:08Z")
> [@SSG\_Schwartz](#): > > Ham is friggin’ nasty. It looks like a pencil eraser, and tastes like a salted one. FTR, I love getting blowjobs and Superman at the ballpark. > Now hating _turkey_, **that’s like hating the Cubs** , Willie Nelson, or Paris Hilton being sent to China for a proper caning. > YMMNV > > SSG Schwartz I hate the Cubs. I’m a Reds fan. I have to. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2008, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/60 "2008-12-27T01:55:44Z")
> [@Ensign\_Edison](#): > > Okay. Do you have an opinion on the question of whether I should have cluttered up the Pit with two threads on this subject instead of using the same freedom you have to express my views on the thread content within the thread? Because jayjay thinks I should have. You’re allowed to say whatever you want to to the OP in the Pit. It’s just that everybody else is allowed to tell you you’re an asshole. It’s the risk you take. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737.md?page=4)