# The day after Christmas and all I have are 4 buns and no ham. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 26, 2008, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737 "2008-12-26T16:01:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/121 "2008-12-30T14:14:03Z")
Portage ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/122 "2008-12-30T14:24:38Z")
You must make some big-ass sandwiches. I just had a delicious ham and cream cheese bagel, and I put two slices in it - weighing about 50g, so, by my calculation, 1/2 lb would make 9 sandwiches. 20 lbs would therefore make me 180 sandwiches. I would also slice the dog-chewed bit off and go for the rest of it - it’s only the bits that have been in contact with the mutt’s saliva you need to worry about - it won’t permeate the meat. That said, sorry for your troubles **HD**. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/123 "2008-12-30T14:48:34Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > You must make some big-ass sandwiches. I just had a delicious ham and cream cheese bagel, and I put two slices in it - weighing about 50g, so, by my calculation, 1/2 lb would make 9 sandwiches. 20 lbs would therefore make me 180 sandwiches. > > I would also slice the dog-chewed bit off and go for the rest of it - it’s only the bits that have been in contact with the mutt’s saliva you need to worry about - it won’t permeate the meat. > > That said, sorry for your troubles **HD**. I didn’t make a sandwich at Christmas. It was the main course. I didn’t eat anything that day until the dinner. Also consider that the burgers at TGI friday and Applebees are one half pound patties. It’s my upper limit but I can eat that much if hungry. I’m willing to freeze some for later too. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/124 "2008-12-30T15:24:50Z")
> [@Harmonious\_Discord](#): > > Also consider that the burgers at TGI friday and Applebees are one half pound patties. That’s an absurd amount of meat, IMO. Are you going to cut the dog-chewed bits off and eat the rest though? I mean, it can’t have ruined 20 lbs all the way through, surely? I’ve rescued food from my cat and only had to remove the bits with toothmarks in it. Except for the lasagna where she cleverly removed the entire top layer of cheese without touching anything else! BTW I think you should just go for it with the monitor, and damn anyone else’s opinion. You can always make do and mend with the clothes. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/125 "2008-12-30T15:35:03Z")
Jjimm please don’t pester me about eating the remaining ten pounds of ham. Please. Please. Please don’t do that. I will eat soup, potatoes, and pasta for a month before eating that ham. ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/126 "2008-12-30T16:07:56Z")
Hey **jjim,** PM your address to **HD** so he can mail you the rest of the ham–that way he doesn’t have to deal with it anymore and you have a years supply of ham! Win! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/127 "2008-12-30T16:11:48Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > Are you going to cut the dog-chewed bits off and eat the rest though? Gross. “Well, I’m pretty sure that the dog drool only got on this part of the ham… pretty sure…” I mean, more power to anyone who doesn’t have a problem eating dog-chewed ham. I’m usually not anal-retentive about food cleanliness or whatever. But the thought of dog-chewed anything… blugh. No, thanks. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/128 "2008-12-30T16:36:06Z")
> [@SmartAleq](#): > > Hey **jjim,** PM your address to **HD** so he can mail you the rest of the ham–that way he doesn’t have to deal with it anymore and you have a years supply of ham! Win! 😃 He could email it - it would make a good alternative to the tinned stuff. Seriously, if the dog chewed the _outside_ of the ham, what’s wrong with cutting that bit off and eating the core? I think y’all are a bit OCD. ETA: **MsWhatsit** , think of how freaking _huge_ a 20 lb ham is. I find it difficult to believe that a dog could mess up that much of it. If you cut the entire outside off you’ve got a perfectly decent amount of ham. Say, 5 lbs maybe if you’re extra-specially careful. I think pictures of the offending meat would help this discussion. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/129 "2008-12-30T16:50:10Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > He could email it - it would make a good alternative to the tinned stuff. > > Seriously, if the dog chewed the _outside_ of the ham, what’s wrong with cutting that bit off and eating the core? I think y’all are a bit OCD. > > ETA: **MsWhatsit** , think of how freaking _huge_ a 20 lb ham is. I find it difficult to believe that a dog could mess up that much of it. If you cut the entire outside off you’ve got a perfectly decent amount of ham. Say, 5 lbs maybe if you’re extra-specially careful. > > I think pictures of the offending meat would help this discussion. Please note about 10 pounds of meat remain with a bone. Yes it is a shame that the dog ruined it for my consumption which is why I posted this thread. I am done discussing eating it so anybody that tells me again about how it’s good to eat will be ignored by me. ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/130 "2008-12-30T16:54:19Z")
> [@SmartAleq](#): > > I’ve received PayPal information for **Harmonious Discord** , so if anyone else wants to play “Replace The Ham,” PM me for the info! > > Let’s hope the New Year looks up for us all, because for sure some of us could use the good news… PM sent. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/131 "2008-12-30T17:24:53Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > Seriously, if the dog chewed the _outside_ of the ham, what’s wrong with cutting that bit off and eating the core? I think y’all are a bit OCD. That’s only because you are a very articulate dog, but a dog nonetheless. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/132 "2008-12-30T17:31:43Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > I think pictures of the offending meat would help this discussion. You’re being a jackass to keep pushing this after he’s practically begged you to stop. Let it go already. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/133 "2008-12-30T17:41:16Z")
No shortage of jackasses in this thread… room for one more? ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/134 "2008-12-30T17:54:56Z")
> [@Q.E.D](#): > > You’re being a jackass to keep pushing this after he’s practically begged you to stop. Let it go already. He did the begging after I stopped, and I shall. I genuinely think it would be a shame to waste perfectly edible resources due to a _perception_ of uncleanliness rather than an _actuality_; it would certainly alleviate one of the OP’s two issues. ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/135 "2008-12-30T18:09:17Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > He did the begging after I stopped, and I shall. I genuinely think it would be a shame to waste perfectly edible resources due to a _perception_ of uncleanliness rather than an _actuality_; it would certainly alleviate one of the OP’s two issues. We already know the dog is not actually housetrained and will piss in the house. Do we want to take any bets on whether or not the dog is a shit eater as well? I don’t know about you, but the idea of playing fecal coliform roulette after a shit eating dog has driven its teeth deep into the petri dish that is a large chunk of meat has WAY less than zero appeal. The dog also pretty much had to drag the ham all over the floor, the same floor where the dog pissed and where multiple people have been walking–again, do you actually know EXACTLY where every person’s feet have been? No? YMMV but I do not agree that there is a “safe” portion of that chunk of meat, especially since several days worth of incubation time has passed. I say this as a dog owner–I’ll let them lick my cheek but a French kiss is right out and if they were to gnaw on my food I’d throw it out. After I killed them dead, of course… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/136 "2008-12-30T18:25:36Z")
There’s thems wot eats wid dogs, an’ there’s them wot won’t eats wid dogs. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/137 "2008-12-30T18:26:47Z")
How much would it cost to ship the remaining ham to jjimm, for him to enjoy eating? ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/138 "2008-12-30T18:39:11Z")
> [@Anne\_Neville](#): > > Absolutely. If your dog is likely to do stuff like pee on the carpet or snatch food from the counter or table, it’s just basic courtesy and common sense not to take that dog with you when you go to someone else’s house. I’d say you’re half right. I think it’s rude to take your animal to someone else’s home without an explicit invitation. My BIL and his wife brought their dog to my MIL’s this past Thanksgiving. My MIL was about to shit herself, but didn’t want to tell them that they shouldn’t bring their dog. ---
**Author:** ![samm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/858c86/32.png) [@samm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samm)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/139 "2008-12-30T18:49:38Z")
First of all, let me be clear that I am not telling HD to eat the ham. Heaven forbid. But I kind of side with jjimm. Ham is not like pudding or stew or onion dip where one dog tooth is going to contaminate the whole thing. It’s a dense hunk of meat. If the inside of it hasn’t been touched, then the inside is still perfectly fine. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737/140 "2008-12-30T18:58:25Z")
> [@samm](#): > > First of all, let me be clear that I am not telling HD to eat the ham. Heaven forbid. But I kind of side with jjimm. Ham is not like pudding or stew or onion dip where one dog tooth is going to contaminate the whole thing. It’s a dense hunk of meat. If the inside of it hasn’t been touched, then the inside is still perfectly fine. If I may be so bold as to speak for the OP ( **HD** , please correct me if I’ve gotten this wrong), pragmatism aside, I think at this point it’s not so much the ham, as the symbol that the ham represents. The total thoughtlessness of other people that has ruined what’s supposed to be a nice day for **HD**. Perhaps if it had been a different ham, on a different day, it would be possible to be more matter-of-fact about the whole thing. However, it’s not. It’s one more shitty thing in a full day of shitty things and to harp on it is kind of douchy, IMHO. If the pair of you are so het up about eating the damn ham, PayPal **HD** some money so he can mail you the friggin’ thing - his address is right there up thread. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-day-after-christmas-and-all-i-have-are-4-buns-and-no-ham/478737.md?page=8)